I think that how you can sum things up. I have been in a funk, that and being busy has hampered my continuing assault on poor writing.

Well kids I did have a rant earlier in me earlier this week, but it has left me, for now.

I am going to try to get back to low brow comedy that you have come to expect.

11/27/06

Still sore.

Sorry another busy day to start back after a busy weekend. I hope everyone had a nice Turkey day. Mine was not too bad. Had a nice dinner with the good Mother-In-Law and then desert with the rest of the family. Well almost the rest of the family. It is a long rant and I am short on time.

I did a little of this, and a little of that. My weekend included a day of working on paving stones for a driveway. Nothing like 7 hours on Saturday, of being on my knees and hammers paving stones into place. Even as tough as it was, it was worth it and for a worthy cause. So right now I am still stiff, but my knees feel as bad a Jake Plummer. My knees are still warm to the touch, and it's Monday. They are warm to the point that they just sparked some papers in the trash. So I have to get going and put it out.

I will try to do give a weekend wrap up tomorrow.

It looks like I will not be locked in the basement anymore.

Yeah!

Sadly, there is a chance that I may not be employed here much longer.

????

I know, I know. But since Friday of last week things have altered some. Now it looks like the job I trained for is not mine any more. In fact they hired someone today. The job I thought I was originally going to fill, is now up for grabs. You see, I had to interview for that position Monday. Now if the key skill needed to obtain the position was sweating like Orson Wells at room temperature then I am in. I did sweat, but the interview went alright I have a lot worse. I think they have to talk to a couple more people. The major advantage I hold is that I have been working here for about a year, and they do not want to really have to train two new people. But them handing me the job is not written in stone, so I sit and wait.

Hey what are the holidays with out stress and anxiety?

Science Fiction.

I should not stress too much, things should workout, but I just needed to get that out.

I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. I may be back with more musing, we shall see.

11/21/06

This Just In

Decency and good taste may still be alive in America.

Why, how, who?

O.J. "Special" canceled.

I never thought I would see the day that even FOX/ News Corp. would say that one of its projects was "ill-considered".

But you know it must be really bad, if I agree with Bill O' Reilly on something, and to quote Vincent Vega, "that's a bold statement".

Now the rumor going about is that before this decision came down, a group of FOX and News Corp. executives had been rushed to area hospitals, for complaints of pain. Thankfully after meeting with medical authorities, it was discovered that the pain was coming from something called a conscience. But a spokesperson for both FOX and News Corp. said that they are looking into a safe ways of removing it.

11/20/06

The weekend.

I am going to go out on a limb and say it kinda sucked. Other than it being around 85 degrees it sucked.

It looks like someone went all HALO on someones ass. Seriously, it is just a video game system. It is not going to change your life. It might, but most likely for the worst. Just kidding, but come on people it is video game system.

It makes me think, how did we get this far as species?

Mr. Darwin, another point against you sir.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I love my video games. I have had my share: Atari 2600, Sega, Game Boy, PS and PS2. I have never felt the compulsion to get it the first day, or to hunt the most dangerous game while doing it.

Look the only time video games ever should get violent is when you have a win all sewn up in Tecmo Bowl and somehow you give up 90 yard TD with no time left, or if you playing NES wrestling and someones little brother finds a way to cheat and you can't win. That is when it is alright for you can get violent. There is actually a leagl defense to justify the action. It is called "Broken Paddle" Defense. It is right up their with the "Chewbacca Defense".


Now here is how it works. Let's say I killed Conrad Bain after losing a close game of Sonic the Hedgehog. Here is how that legal tactic would work.

District Attorney: "Your honor the state would like to charge Mr. Boski for the 4th Degree Murder of beloved TV Dad Conrad Bain Along with charges that this man has wantonly abused grammar. Mr. Boski savagely attacked Mr. Bain with Sega game system and beat him to his a pulp. Then proceeded to write about it on his Blog o' Fun. Which our forensic specialist will show is not fun, and most likely not even a real blog.

Judge: "So Council how will Mr. Boski plead to the charge of killing Conrad Bain?"

Hired legal gun from Jacoby and Myers: " We would plead Not Guilty your Honor"

Judge: "On what grounds"

Defense: "Broken Paddle your Honor, Mr. Bain, knowingly allow Mr. Boski to use the broken paddle"

District Attorney: "Ah shit!"

Judge: " Case Dismissed"

District Attorney: "Can we at least charge Mr. Boski with crimes against English and grammar?"

Defense: "Objection!"

Judge: "On what grounds?"

Defense: "Nothing, I just have always wanted to say that, but your honor, can Defense at least ask for a continuance, so I can cash this check?"

Judge: "Denied, Mr. Boski we will charge you with the other crimes."

Mr. Boski: " So I can guess where this is going to lead to."

Judge: "Yep, Mr. Boski, you are getting the chair. I have tired to read some of the entries and I would be irresponsible to allow you to continue writing. Take him away."

Mr. Boski:"Avenge me bloggers, Avenge Me!"



So in closing, the PS3 is not something worth getting shot for, now the Happy Days board game, I might take some shrapnel. But it is never cool to get violent over a video game. I have never done that, well okay, I once drew a knife on someone while playing Frogger, but I don't want to talk about it.

So that is one to grow on.

I think the words of Dean Wormer fit,

"Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."

Let me sidebar real quick. I had a friend that I worked with at the Mouse House. Who before his wedding, was out with his future wife's parents. They were enjoying a some what pleasant meal. My friend was sensing that her parents were still a little tense. So when it came time for the fortune cookies he used that same line.

Thankfully there was still a wedding.


But back on Borat, now it seems everyone along with the buffoons mentioned above have their hand out over this movie. Even the Romanian town that filled in for Kazakhstan is suing. Sure it would be nice if they got a few more bucks, but they signed a release. So to paraphrase Borat he would say of the situation, "I got i-pod, so they got i-pod mini. Everybody know that i-pod mini's are for girls. SUCCESS!".

O.J. Simpson to discuss killings...er the alleged killings.

So at the end of this month, O.J. gets to tell us how he (wink, wink) would have committed the murders. So Mr. Simpson since you will be talking about how you would have hypothetically killed Ron and Nicole, will you tell us how you hypothetically looked for the killers. Will your tale tell us how you had A.C. Cowlings and Mr. Kardashin disposed of your alleged evidence?

This is f'ing sick and twisted.

What good could come of any of this? Seriously, other than O.J. slipping up and telling us Kato Kalen was involved.

Wow, this may top, "Home with Hitler for the Holidays", "The Manson Family On Ice" and "The Texaco Big Brother #1 Po Pot Variety Show" as worst ideas ever brought to TV. Now "Family Fun Time with the Menendez's" had potential but poor writing and a bad time slot ruined it. It got killed by L.A. Law.

Even with the wins last week, I had almost forgot that Bush was still in the White House. Then I read these:

Administration: Detainees have no rights - Hey I am not saying that all of those being held are angels, but everyone should have the right to challenge their imprisonment.

and

Bush Calls for Global Isolation of Iran - Sure this will lead to something positive. Look the government of Iran is not my favorite either. I trust them as far as I can throw them, and yes I do believe they are working on a bomb, but right now why don't we talk to them. Let us not totally abandon the carrot just yet. Iran is a power in the region and we have to deal with it. Since we have messed things up so nicely in Iraq we don't have very many options or are in a great position or strength. So let's try diplomacy, so we do not get ourselves or our allies entangled into another bloodbath. Hey it would be nice to tell them to take a flying leap, but sadly we depend on oil. That and since we have pissed off a lot of world they look at this as us bullying. So that makes this "take it or leave it" not the most feasible of ideas. I understand that Israel is very concerned and it should be, so for their and the global economy sake let's try talking. But if we do, let us send someone competent please. But then GW is still running things so it is a long shot.

Thank you to anyone who got through that mess I just spewed.

Today is my first at the shake machine and the trainee hat is off!

So far, no one has been injured or maimed under my watch, but give me time.

Right now I can't get into the computer of the person who I am filling in for, so there are some items I can't get to and that kinda sucks. But I have a call into them and hopefully I will hear from them.

Also today I got something today that I know will sound silly to all of you. They gave me a pager, and I didn't have to sell blow to get it either. The drawback, there was not gum in it. I was hoping it was like my cell phone. Boy I could go for some gum.

But that is what I am up to here at the Hospital.

As for my weekend, not too eventful. The only thing was Sunday when the Boski's almost got a couple cats. But I was not ready for it. Over the past few years I have come the realization that I am a cat person and so is the Better Half. Don't get me wrong I still love dogs, but if I am going to get a pet, it is going to be a cat. But this weekend I could not pull the trigger. I felt shitty about not getting them, but our house is not ready for them and if I am going to be a cat owner, I need to be a responsible one. Also we did not even consult the Adorable Stalker about this.




I worried that he would feel hurt. I know he is just a cat, but look at him. Do you want to hurt his feelings? Yep, that's what I thought.

Well I have to go take a walk and then I have to go back to the mines. Now where is that canary?

When I returned to work for this hospital. I was happy that I was freed from the missile silo-esque subterranean office. I am not one to be kept underground for long periods. But one thing about my new position is that I will spend time in a new basement. But at least it is way nicer than the other one. It also has an element of danger to it. Since where I go is Medical Records I have to pull files off the shelves and since they are motorized I can be crushed. I hope they will hear me when I reenact the Trash Compactor scene from Star Wars. Other than that, I am still scared of the job ahead of me. Good news though, some of the training is actually sticking, so I might pull this off.

Well I have to get back to it.

I wished this had happened years ago, but I will take what I can get.

RUMMY is OUT!

Wow, Rummy is out, Santorum is out coming this January and K-Fed has been kicked to the curb. Sweet Jebus that some good news.

So Mr. Rumsfeld as you leave I would like to extend both middle fingers to you to express my feelings on your service to America. I know you will do a book and end up with a high paying consultant job, but I do hope that your failures haunt and torment you from now, till you pass.

So thanks, thanks for nothing asshole.

I am hoping so, thanks to last night. Now the Dems have to come in and get things back on track. Maybe just maybe this can be the start of cleanup of bio hazard mess that Mr. Bush has crafted for us. I feel better that it could be starting now, than having to wait for the 2008 elections.

So with the stakes high things have to get done, or that light will not be an exit, it will just be a fright train.

Sadly here, my state will have Arnold for four more years. Also my city council will be run by wackos. But I still went out and did my civic duty. The Better Half and I made the wait in line go quickly with a rousing game of War. I had to surrender when it was time to vote, I was down to just one card. Since it was an ace it would have taken awhile to lose, but I was not going to win.

Can you hear all the Radical Right wackos squirming right now. I would not be surprised if Fox is reporting that the Terror Alert is at Red. Also, I think now having Mrs. Pelosi as Speaker, Rush maybe back on the Hillbilly Heroin.


VOTE!

It won't hurt and afterwards they give you juice and cookies, oh wait that giving blood. But still go vote, go harass someone to vote. Those who do not go out and vote should be pelted with lunch meat.

It is time to tell them those who are running us into the ground that we have had enough.

So you do forth and vote my friends. Okay, I have to get going.

As if it is not busy enough at work, the weekend kept me hopping.

Friday - Took our oldest nephew out again for more high school football. Which is not unusual, but the last time I was at the venue to watch football was 1994. I watched a football game at The Big A. That is right the high school team she supports plays can play their games at this site, mine you would be lucky to fill the Titan Room at the Sizzler in Fullerton. This game was televised! This game was bordering on Texas high school football. The team they played is also the other powerhouse Catholic School in the county. So out seats were close to where my dad's old Rams season seats were. My wife looked at me funny when I yelled "they are holding Reggie Doss" (Good luck to any of you who can figure out that reference). It was fun expect the bad guys won in overtime. They had not beaten their rival since she was in high school. I can empathize with her, the high school that was the main rival for my high school has been beaten by us since Reagan's first term. Let me tell you, the day we do, I am getting a TV because I am going looting.

Saturday - Running around helping out the Better Half. She was showing a ceramic piece at a show in the Coastal Table. So it was about getting the piece wrapped up, transfer, getting the stand, museum wax. After all of that and after a quick jaunt to the Costco, we spent the majority of the day standing. From around 4:30 PM till 9:00 PM. The time was mostly about talking to other artists and visitors. Some was just standing, but we had to spend some time keeping people from leaving their drinking on the stand, or toughing the art. Let me say their was woman in her 70's who was coming close not making it to her 80's.

Sunday - When I arose my wonderful wife had the inspired idea to see Borat. In a word, awesome. I was both howling in laughter, all the while being incredibly uncomfortable at what I was watching. At the end, I expected that when I walked out that I was going to be in hell, because their were things I laughed at that I felt I should not have. This movie surpassed my expectations. Mr. Cohen, you sir are a genius. So kudos to you.

He had one shot at this and he made the most of it. This is a movie you can't make a sequel of. You could try, but you would have something that would finally make Caddyshack II feel better about it's self. This was leaps and bounds funnier than his Ali G movie. Which was funny and I am surprised it was not released here, but it may have been too British centric for an American audience, but what do I know? This movie will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Andy Kaufman is truly dead. This is what I feel that Andy really wanted to do.

Borat is our generations incredibly disturbed de Tocqueville.

Afterwards I spent the afternoon watching football at a bar that did not have DirectTV, so I had to watch Chargers vs Browns, as my Broncos exacted some revenge for last years AFC Championship debacle.

So it was busy but very pleasant weekend. Well I have to get back to it.

Remember everyone, nothing helps out a light colored shirt more than the dying embers of your smoothies getting unintentionally splashed on it. It gives you that, hey I came to work looking like a slob look. But it can also give you that hint of, he might have kill someone in his car look as well. Few things will help up move the corporate ladder or win people over like that. Boy I feel like a winner.

I may get to operate the shake machine by next week.

They are throwing things are me left and right. Thankfully this time it is information and not rotten vegetables. But try to make this all stick is what scares me, since I think I am 99% sure I am ADD. Which makes taking in info tough unless it is something I really enjoy. Now if this job was about the 1998 Denver Broncos, The Simpson, the 2005 White Sox, or the XFL, then I would be CFO. But sadly it is not the case. But what I am learning is interesting. But the training itself is rough. I am someone who has a tough time getting out of my comfort zone. I have a million of questions, but I just don't know how to formulate them. I will on the Monday morning when my trainer has left, but isn't that always the case.

I hope you all had a kick ass All-Saints Day.

Halloween Wrap-up. The Better Half and I trudged through the morass that is traffic and made it to my mom's. After an hour and and fifteen minutes on the road we made it. When we got there, my nephews were already out trick-o-treating. We were at first sad that we missed them, but realized how could you contain a 7 and 2 year old' from going out when it was dark. Come on everyone, when it was Halloween, I think all of us started pleading to go out at the earliest possible time. Being on the West Coast I know I was ready to go when it turned dark on the East Coast, so I can't blame them. So we had a nice little dinner with my Mom and my sister. The kids and my Brother in Law came back and let me say that the two boys looked precious. Yes I said it. Wha da goin to do bout it? One was Thomas the Train, and the other an astronaut. The boys had come back to drop off their initial haul. After they had then we took them out for a quick trip to some houses they had not gone to yet. I will say it was worth the aggravation on the roads to see this. The two year old was so excited and was a chatterbox, so was the seven year old. The Better Half and I had a ball with those two. When we got home we hung out with the family and passed out candy. Which brings me to something. Let me say, if you are over the age of 13 and your are out trick-a-treating, stop it. Let it go. Go to a party do something else, leave Halloween for the small kids. All you are doing is showing you are an ass. The worst thing about the Jr. High and High School kids is that you have to be nice or they come back and the they either TP, egg, smash your pumpkins, or hell, set you house on fire. But hey I am just saying.

Memories of Halloween past - I now do remember that for one Halloween I did have a costume party to go to, I took the easy route with my costume. The only thing about it was I broke some rules to do it. One year I went as Jungle Cruise Skipper, which only meant I had to smuggle out my costume. Thankfully no one should up as a Hippo with wiggling ears, or I was going to have to bust a cap. Hey look at me I am on edge!

Hey I have a question, to write a book don't you have to first be able to read one? If so, then why is Kevin Ferderline writing is autobiography? Will this be the first ever autobiography/coloring book? What title do you give such an opus on a no-talent rapping, crappy dancing, dead beat dad who as much street cred as Barry Manalow? Because I think "You're OK and I am douche" is the working title of Vanilla Ice's book.

Well I have to run.