Today I sit here in my cube actually doing office labor. Well that was as of an hour ago. I have been prepping for another roto draft this weekend. I have already completed one. One, may I say, as the now defending champion. I have the Burger King Crown and Silent Bob Bobble head to prove it.

So what does "In Faud We Trust!" Have to look forward to in 2007

QB
Roethlisberger
Leftwich . . . . errrrrr Jason Campbell (Thanks Del Rio, I would not like to ask you do your best impression of the City of San Diego and go . . . .)

RB
Gore
J. Lewis
L. Betts
D. Rhodes (He will be very rested come Week 6)

WR
Harrison
T.J. Whoseyourdaddy
Evans
Stallworth
Hackett
K. Curtis
Hackett
Hard Hittin' Mark Witten

DEF

Oh Carolina, jump across

K

Mike "Not the Motor City Dumbass" Nugent


Let's see I have had to already release a QB. My top back is coming off a broken hand, one plays for the Browns, one may not be the starter depending on the health of Southside Jerome and one who suspended. I took way too many Wideout's. So I feel very confident about this season.

Right now I am trying to fine tune my NFL picks for 2007. I work hard on these things, so you will all have something to laugh and mock me about. Tomorrow more football that counts will be at hand. Let see what we have, in a sea of cupcakes will there be anything entertaining or shocking? Probably not too many, but let's see what we have:

Folks you heard it hear first.

Idaho will beat USC. Tell your friends and neighbors. I have done a great deal of studying on this game and the numbers I crunched and all I have read and heard lead me to the Vandals beating USC hands down.

They will beat USC off the field at half time and then beat USC to the buses, during halftime to avoid having to come out for a second half Marvis Frazier beating.

USC 35(-46) Idaho 0 Now if Idaho does sticks around for the 2nd half then it will be USC 73 Idaho 3

Wisconsin (-14) 23 Wash St 16 I think this one will be closer than expected

Arizona 28 BYU 26 - The Cats steal one at Provo

G.T. (+1) 23 Notre Dame 10 It is going to be a long year at South Bend. As long as Charlies Wies' litigation.

Mizzu (-4.5) 31 Illinois 20 - Tigers could be the surprise of the Big 12 North Division

Georgia 27 Oklahoma State 19 Cowboys get trimmed like the hedges at Athens

B.C.(-6) 31 Wake Forest 14 The Deacons come back to earth

Miami (-17) 48 Marshall, Marshall, Marshall 20

My Eric Upset Special

The Orange 20 Huskies 13

UCLA (-16.5) 23 Stanford 10 The Cardinal will cover because the Bruins O will still be a question mark, and Harabaugh finds out that this ain't D.III anymore

GAME OF THE WEEKEND

Cal (-6) 46 Tenn 23 Even as much as this pains me because this make the MIL in the Bay Area happy. The Bears are good and they will have the jug blowers on the ropes and exact some revenge. Making Fulmer feel like me and the Better Half did last year at this time while in the Bay Area.

Okay I am rolling out, I am off to go back to the sweat lodge that is my home. We live close to the ocean and we really don't need AC, expect for about a week or two. Well it happens to be in the middle of those two weeks.

But before a shove off.

Hey Time Blair Warner Is A Bitch Project Cable, you think by giving me ESPNU that this makes things square. HORSESHIT. You know what you have to do, so do it! Also we are not paying good money to have a crappy signal. You have already replaced the box and cable and our problem has returned. Time to time when we try to Tivo something there are points it craps out and is unwatchable. We checked the Tivo Box and it works, and how dare you speak ill of Tivo!

Look Time John Warner Retiring Cable you not only have me to worry about. The Better Half is as close as I am to storming your offices. You messed with her "So You Think You Can Dance" one too many times. But you probably don't care Stalin Warner Cable Gulag you just love counting your money, but I know you have issues. You think you can give me the song and dance that you cable service don't stink. But you A-holes can't keep up with demand because you are beyond capacity. And for your F'up that you are not going to really fix any time soone, we all pay. Why don't let me pick the channels I want and pay for that? No you can't do that because it may actually make the customers happy. Also it screw with your fleecing of your subscribers. I know you have to have your solid gold rocket cars and fund those trips to Bangok to do lord knows what.

Not to go off on too much of a tangent speaking of fleecing I found this article about what is being done with out tax dollars in Iraq. Even though it will not come as surprised to anyone, I still ask you not read it near anything you value. (thanks Crooks and Liars for pointing me to Rolling Stone, who knew they were still doing something relevant)

Okay you have all suffered enough today. Have a great Labor Day.

Yes, oh dear god yes. I can not get here soon enough.

If College Football was not starting this weekend I would need Animal Control to put me down since I would be feral.

Ever since June I have been reading what ever I could get my grubby little hands on glorious football. You name it: pro, college, betting and fantasy.

Here is a list of what I have read. To show you why the NFL should have a restraining order out on me and how shallow my life is:

Pro Football Weekly - NFL Preview & the Summer issues of Pro Football Weekly

SportingNews - NFL, College & Fantasy Previews

2007 Pro Football Prospectus & paying for it Player Projection Program

Athlon's NFL & College Previews

The Goldsheet College and Pro Preview

The Marc Lawrence Playbook - Football Handicappers Yearbook

Lindy's NFL Preview

Phil Steele College Preview, all 6 of the regional preview Mags and Pro Football (which I got for free, I should have gotten it for the money I laid out)

Street & Smith Pro Football Preview (the only one that has a CFL preview, so go heavy on the Argos this season)


So all in all I have laid out probably about $200 bucks. Yes, I am a loser. I just can help myself. I love collecting these things I have been doing this for a while. I have some going back to '89. When I finally got a grown-up job in '96 it became an addiction.

Secondly, I have always wanted to see if I could be football handicapabler instead of just a dude who gets park really close to things. For all the gambling stuff I look at, I don't do a lot of betting. Other than $5 a week office pool and a couple of squares at the Super Bowl, the last bet I made on a football game was September of last year. I know I have droned on about it in the past, but this fascinates me to no end. I have never had a desire to bet other sports, well except for Snooker and Monster Trucks. Hey if I am in Vegas I'll throw something on whatever going, but betting the Hawks to beat the Nets by 4 on a Tuesday in February holds no allure.

Coming Up:

The E! True Hollywood Story: The Great Spacecoaster

Here's a preview:

"Just as things seem to be going great, Gary Gnu was tumbling into $10,000 a week, hooker and blow binge that he thought it would last forever, or till Thursday. Sadly Gary's love of the White Lady and Ladies of the Night came all crashing down when Gary was arrested in Guam after using his shrimp fork to eat soup while driving. The authorities found .02% blood in his cocaine, but the cops and the world was rocked when they opened the trunk of his Suzuki Sidekick. hookers midget jugglers, alpaca's, Rollo's and Dick Cavet in drag.....


L.A. in 1,000-year Earthquake Lull.

(Thanks or no thanks to Livescience.com via Yahoo News)

I read this and I feel that this is like talking about a no-hitter around the 5th inning.

Livescence.com I will come for you, if I survive!

Congrats Ms. South Carolina, you just made Jessica Simpson look like a Steven Hawking. Again I ask, did the Union really need to bring South Carolina back to the Union?

So long you torture approving, domestic spying, political firing, obstructionist, douche bottle.

Please let the door hit your dumb ass on the way out.

Glad to see it but it looks like our next AG will be Micheal "The Gut" Chertoff. And as we can see with his stellar work with Homeland Security, we can expect more great Bush B.S.

8/26/07

Suite and Sour

I know I have not been chatting about baseball of late.



As a White Sox fan this weekend may be a low point. A point I have not seen since the late 80's. Which were the Dark Ages. Just imagine the world of Theodoric of York. This weekend is being swept by the Cubs bad, but the Red Sox treated us baby harp seals. I think Mr. Tobin puts it best with his recap. (Bugs and Cranks)

But things with baseball have not been a total loss of late.

Tuesday, thanks to my wife, we enjoyed the Anaheim Angels of Los Feliz, by way of Long Beach beat the tar out of the Yankees. The Better Half was beat from work, so we took off before watching Garrett Anderson collect his 10th RBI. But we enjoyed chilling in a Suite, at the Big A of Burbank.

Now I have been fortunate to have watch a NBA game from a Suite. Sadly that was Donald Sterling's Suite at the old Sports Arena which was great, if it was still the 60's and if one liked being as far away from the floor as possible.

I have been in one for a football game, which was alright, but since it was in San Diego I could not enjoy it. One being it was the Chargers, and two was spending most of the 2nd half worrying about when we need to go, so we would not be stuck in the parking lot at the Murph for days. I am sure there are worse parking situation at other stadiums, but San Diego has to be in the top 10. I mean I had trouble getting out of there for Padres game during the Fire Sale years.

Until this past week I had not done it at baseball game. Well that is not entirely true. I have eaten Prime Rib at the Dodgers Stadium Club for a game, which was surreal. And then there was the suites at the Big A. A friend of mine's dad company had a suite for one season, but they never returned the keys. And as we would find out they did not change the locks. So one Sunday afternoon during a Blue Jays/Angels tilt, we ventured to see if it would work. So we snuck to the club level (Oh the days of ticket upgrading, when it use to be a subtle art) Then a couple of us snuck into the section to see if there was anyone in the suite. After our recon, we tried the lock and we were in. Alright this is great we in a suite this is awesome and we are going to live large. Then it hit us. As we rummaged through the suite we realized that it was nearly bare. We did find something. We found condiments. No food, no drink, just condiments. And since we were all broke it began to take a shine off the suite. But we pooled our cash and got popcorn, which was to use on the condiments. A barbaric practice, I know and one I could not be a part of. I am still a little queasy thinking about relish on popcorn. The other item that made the suite more Sweet & Low was the level of paranoia we had that we were going to be rousted. So anytime there was a sound at the door we were all looking for cover like a Bush Appointee when asked a direct question. Thankfully we did not get caught.

We did try it one more time and it was pretty much the same as the first, well expect for the popcorn. We grew tired of it and realized that we should be with the people. Also they finally changed the lock. Even though it was not as cool as we hoped it was still fun since it was like the forbidden doughnut.

All of this leads me to Saturday Night where my wonderful wife obtained tickets for another suite and we were able to find friends and it was a great experience. Even thought the Suite was in the left field corner, it was still a great view of the field. We had decent food and plenty of drink. I got to catch up with some friend and repay others who have scored me tickets in the past. It was nice sitting in AC comfort, eating taquitos, watching the NFL Network, and talking sports with friends. You could not ask for more, you could but they are very strict about shooting fireworks from the suites.

I now have to get back to work and try to forget about the mess that is Chicago White Sox Baseball.

Drop the Lucky Lager!

Moose belching causing Global Warming! Great, so now I have to worry if Marty Moose from the Getalong Gang starts doing keg stands.

Mad!

The world has gone mad I tell you.

What's next? Juvenile delinquents are pelting the elderly with pork products.

Wait a second, sadly I do live in that world.


Hey dumb ass are you kidding me?

Look if you going to make analogies about Iraq, don't bring up a war you and Dark Lord Cheney both ducked. Stick to analogies you know like how you almost gave up on trying to find Waldo or almost quitting to find a keg for a frat party. Also didn't you say that when asked about comparison to Vietnam you thought the analogy was "wrong" and sends the "wrong message to the troops and our enemies". (Daily Kos) And don't get me started on Fourth Branch and his apparent flip-flop on going into Iraq.

I can not believe they are actually going to try to run this up the flag pole. I am sorry if you are someone who falls for this then you need to be eaten by pumas. Don't even try the whole Domino Theory bullshit or that our leaving will lead to millions of deaths like what happened in Cambodia. Bad ANALOGY! And no I am not for the deaths of anyone. The death I supported was Disco. No matter what happens things are a mess, by staying we maybe making it even worse and possibly lead to tens of millions of deaths.

Back to the Cambodia analogy. Cambodia went south because of our handy work. If Nixon had not screwed the pooch by violating Cambodia's neutrality and then overthrowing Sihanouk with Lon Nol, which lead to the Khmer Rouge and Asshole #1 Po Pot. The Killing Fields were finally stop by, surprise united the newly united Vietnam. And if you even think I support the communist government of Vietnam, or that I am happy the U.S. lost 58,000 men along with millions who died in the conflict then go F yourself.

Look I know getting out of Iraq is going to be a bitch. We have to at least draw down to a level to provide counter-insurgence support and then if they can't fix shit, get out. Redeploy back to Kuwait and Qatar and then try to mend some fences.

Look President Assclam, we are check and getting close to checkmate in Iraq because you sacrificed the queen, a bishop and both rooks for what?(Like the Chess references, makes me sound smarter) Probably for a couple pawns because they looked cool. Statesmanship is chess and you F&%$ers are playing at Checkers. To make things worse is that before the game is over you are looking for the next chess game. Let's see Afghanistan was first and it looks like things are going great. So then it was on to Iraq which is now just a slice of heaven, or like Indiana as on GOP goon spewed out (if Iraq is like Indiana then I never plan to go to the Hoosier state ever). So we should expect Iran is soon, which some are hoping for. (Think Progress)


But you know Mr. Bush I would have to say this photo sums you up.


Thanks to Crooks and Liars


Okay enough out of me. I apologize if this makes no sense.

someone brought in Ginger Ale for our office lunch.

I know, I know, how am I even able to dress myself and even function? I ask that about myself many a day.

You see Ginger Ale is one of things you have on special occasion, or if your traveling. Sure it around and I could pick up at the store, but I always forget about it until someone brings it up. I think 4 of the last 5 times I have had Ginger Ale, it was on a plane. The fifth was at a wedding.

So to me it is the soft drink equivalent to an assembly day at school.

Sorry everyone this is still running through my head, so I have decided to try to infect your brains as well.

Enjoy.

Finally went and saw the Simpson's Movie this last weekend. I have the heat to blame for it.

I enjoyed it, no surprise. What surprised me was how adult they went on some of the humor. Not that I did not find it funny, but just surprising. I was also surprised on the lack of cameos. Never the less it was worth it even though I think Hans Moleman did not get enough screen time, but I was happy to see Hollis Hurlbut get over a serious case of Jebeditis. I won't ruin it for you but Homer is Charles Kane's sled. True.

So if you have not seen it and you enjoy the Simpson's, then go see it. If you don't enjoy the Simpson's then you are on my list . . . just kidding then you should go see anything, except the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Seriously Jason Lee, you are making money now. You do not have to take everything they offer. Now if you want to see the movie, but you have been forbidden to see it by your father. Then I advise you to avoid trying to read the Mortimer Adler's novel the movie is based on. You will just have to wait 40 years and become a Supreme Court Justice, mmmmm Warren Burger mmmmmmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!

People, please do not feed the ducks.

Seriously.

Read the goddamn signs. Don't feed them. Sure it looks cool and hell I used to do it. I thought it was helping them out, but you know it doesn't. It leads to avian botulism and sick birds might be a health hazard, but hey the bird flu is irrelevant right?

Also feeding ducks at a park hurts them. It makes them become dependent on people for food and the lose the desire to seek food which leads them to not migrate. At this point you now f'ing with nature.

But it's not the aholes who are too dumb to read the sign or those who can't read it due to the language barrier that really piss me off. What gets me are the vigilante feeders. These people are the worst and the most dangerous. We have encountered a couple of these folks who feel that it is there responsibility to take care of the birds.

Backstory on how I got to this point.

A couple of months back the park had some Egyptian Goslings hatch. There were 7 goslings and a duck who they adopted. Very cute I have pictures, I will need to bring them in, but I am digressing. As these geese grew there were people who showed up and were feeding them grain. Which is also a no-no. Animal Control wants you not to feed them anything. The reason being, they do not eat grain, they eat grass, bugs and other things found in nature. Along with not wanting to migrate, the other problem is if you feed them they lose their fear of people and that's when bad shit happens. How do I know there is a problem. Well the other morning we had a white duck follow us through the park on foot. When we stopped and were looking about the duck was right at our feet. The duck then tried to nibble my shoe, twice. That folks in not right.

So to the old man and his bike who has tracked these birds across to other parks. All of your justifications still does not make it right. If there is a problem call the city or county to fix it, or let the birds figure it out. If there is not food then they need to leave and find it. So take your bike and the boots you use to waddle in the lake to put out food and fix their nest and shove it up your old ass.

To the woman in the brown Toyota 82 Celica you can go F yourself. You are the worst. Yes I am talking to you "Mrs. I Volunteer at an Animal Shelter, so I Know More Than You". Just because you life is empty, it does not mean you have to do something harmful to the animals you think you are helping. If you did work at a shelter they would tell you the same. Oh but I am wrong and so is Animal Control, and Fish & Game. Those assholes don't know anything, how could we challenge you oh wise one. Oh wait you're driving a Toyota from the 80's. Which tells me you have not made great life choices, so please as the poet Ice Cube once opined "check yo'self before you wreck yo'self". Also I have not forgotten you yelling "Go to Hell" at us a month ago when we brought this up. Just remember the "road to Hell is paved with good intentions", so shut up and get back to your macrame owl and leave us all alone.

Hey while on a tirade about the park I have some more people to point out and direct my scorn at:

To the kids that chase the birds around or pull out crawdads and thrown them. Stop it you crap eating punks. Would you like it if I came to your home and chased you around with a wiffle ball bat with pennies in it. You wouldn't, even though I would enjoy the hell out of it. Every time I see the kids chase them I pray that they will fall into the lake. Sure some do it out of excitement and they don't mean any harm, and I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Now for the brats that do it because they just little hooligans, I hope birds crap on you for many a moon.

Parents of these kids. Hey keep an eye out on your kids. Hell put a leash on some of them. Look why should others look out for your kids when you are out. Hey you are parent 24 hours a day till they on their own feet, so parent. Sure I know you can't see their every move and kids will be kids, but come on when your kids are swinging sticks at birds you should do something about other than yell at me for yelling at your kid. Which brings me to. . .

Dog of leash guy/girl. Hey I know your dog is the greatest dog of all time and is as smart as Steven Hawking, and they listen to every command, but they need to be on a leash. And hey don't get pissed at me when I politely say something about it. Hey I am not trying to be a jerk, I am just looking out for the dog. Look the rules are not guidelines or suggestions, they are rules, follow them. Oh, your wonder dog just eat duck shit, good luck with that.

Midnight Natty Light Drinker Who Leave There Cans Laying Around Guy - Hey sounds like fun guys, all I ask is next time if you guys have one of your ragers at the park that you just go into the lake and not come back up. It would help us all greatly.

Okay, I am done with my irrational rage about the park and park etiquette. If I have offended any of you I apologize, except for those who are the basis of this rant. You know who you are. Also I am not one to support violence even toward those who may be deserving of it, but damn it felt good to write it and get out of my system.

Okay back to your business everyone. I have to get back to killing time at work.

Jack Klugman as Quincy or Norman Fell as Mr. Roeper?

The fate of the free world may depend on this.

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08' - Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove - Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell - Sad to see Hell's Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II - I could watch ol' Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare's this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert - I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can't assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking's Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony - I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love - Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain't worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball - Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football - To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden - Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh - A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er's I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

"Red Right Tight--Sprint Right Option"

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson's Movie - I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What's wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis' of Springfield's Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons - I still have not seen the movie yet. What's wrong with me?

Old Yeller - No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis - Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin - You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic's to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was de-Kitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico's boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly - Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

Good bless you Jimmy and your desire to beat this joke into the ground.

and it's FOOTBALL!

Yeah!

Sure it was only the Hall of Fame Game but it is football none the less. I would have enjoyed it a great deal more, but since it was on that network that those evil people will not let me have you know the rest of the story.

Finely diced bacon, or just fake pork scented shrapnel?

8/3/07

Dear ESPN,


How are you doing? It has been a long time since we last spoke. Oh I keep tabs on you, but I am worried. It used to be I could be content hanging out with you for hours, hell days on end. Sadly those days are far and few in between. I am glad that you have confidence yourself, but I think you are believing too much of your own hype. Hey you can keep your "World Wide Leader In Sports" title. I know you have already bought the stationary and monogram towels. I just think you have gone over board.

The past few years I have tried to look past your transgression, but this "Whose Now" is just too much. I tried to watch it a couple of weeks back. I had heard about this through Deadspin and through the Petros and Money Show. I knew it was bad, but I did not think it this bad. I would have been better off huffing gas and ramming framing nails into my skull. Which would have done less damage to my brain. Seriously, do I need Stu "Crazy Eye" Scott and the cast of "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" to tell me that Derek Jeter is more now than William Hung. F you ESPN, F you with broom handle in your ass, which I hope breaks and splinters in your ass!

What more do I and maybe many Americans have to suffer through. This is not Extra or Access Hollywood. I want Sports and maybe a human interest story once in a while. Your freaking job is about reporting sports not superseding the sports your are broadcasting. When I watch, I am watching to see the game or to get insight about the games. It seem to me that the sports seem to be getting in the way of you pimping, you! Okay pimping your self and the next Yankees/Red Sox series.

Tonight on Baseball Tonight, how will Friday's batting practice affect the ESPN Sunday Night game Sponored by Crucial.com!

But I have has enough of the BS. The following crap has to stop:

Stu Scott

The caricature that is Chris Berman - Hey Chris, if you bring down Tom Jackson, I will come for you fat man and I will hurt you.

The Firing of Harold Reynolds

The end of Cheap Seats

ESPN the Mag - Stu Scott but in written form

ESPN the Restaurant - OVERRATED!

ESPN the Cell Phone - how do that go?

ESPN the Home Pregnancy Test - If the stick shows Charlie Stiener then your pregnant!

The destruction of ESPN Classic

Enough of the Poker - Jesus H. Christ I am sick of watching classic flops from W.S.O.P. past and present.

The cancellation of Sports On Tap- which was a game show that saw a goofy kid from Orange County try his luck and come up short. Wait maybe this is actually good. People, I going to say that when the red light goes on, you can get dumb in a hurry. One day I will sit down and tell you this tale.

Dick V, I think it's time to put down the pipe and walk away.

Evening at the Improve or as you say SportsCenter - Come on, this use to be the show piece. It was my favorite hour of TV. Got all the scores and tons of highlights and analysis. But then you pushed it. Hey you were witty and I fell in love with some of the catch phrases, but now it just wrong. Look even the "Boom Goes the Dynamite Kid" thinks what you are rolling out is crap.

Hey you can fix this, and you still are doing a couple things right like:

Scott Van Pelt - Craig Kilborn but with humility

ESPN News Ticker - getting scores during commercial breaks is a wonderful thing.

Jeremy Green's football podcast

College Football

Ron Jaworski - I love NFL Edge Match Up, and I hope he does well on Monday.

Hey if you could, bring back Aussie Rule Football. I need me some Essendon vs. Fitzroy, or St. Kilda vs. Carlton

But take me seriously, I have got them Internets (where there are way better rants against you than I could muster) to give me what I want. Maybe one day someone will figure it out and have a channel that challenges you, so in closing I would like to quote the great American Stephen Colbert you are on notice!

Wow he will feel that in the morning. But when he wakes up he may not remember this and not just from burning th herb.

Daaaammmmnnn the man's shoes flew off.

but while out with the Better Half it hit me.

I really hated Dinosaurs. No not the reptiles that Carl Everett does not believe in, but the TV series. Not your usual, "wow I find this show awful", but Time Warner hate.

I know. Very strange.

. . . Michael Vick endorsement deals.

Seriously folks I hear for the next decade!

I am trying, but I have been busy. I am trying to keep this blog going. The blog has been something that I have done as long as many of the jobs I have held. It is a matter of time and material (hey football is around the corner).

I do promise you this, all three of you, I will keep trying, well at least continue my work on assaulting the English language.

Please enjoy our complementary fudge.