Boski's Blogopoluza!

marine joly

2010-02-26T08:37:00.001-08:00

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power rankings

2009-11-01T15:14:00.001-08:00

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2009-09-03T18:04:00.001-07:00

Attention, Attention!

2008-10-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

Okay if anyone is still interested in this traveling flea circus I have put up new stakes here:

http://boski93.wordpress.com/

As I said before, just want to do something different. Don't know what will come, but always wanted to try it.

Just laboring away

2008-10-14T15:42:00.001-07:00

As I mumbled last week, I have been tinkering with WordPress and I may relaunch this blog on WordPress.

That being said the blog may be on it's way to lay dormant on another platform, but at least it is something.

900!

2008-10-10T17:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have hit the 900 post mark.

I had something planned, but apparently Ted McGinley, Jamie Farr and Fergal Sharkey all big-leagued me and canceled. So the Boski Blog O' Fun 900th Post Extravaganza will not be shown.

Please sit back and enjoy the Director's Cut of Dr. Detroit.

Hey meet the kids!

2008-10-10T17:01:00.000-07:00

I know I have mentioned our acquisition of these two adorable reptiles, but here is some footage of both of them. I still don't know how, but me and the Better Half can't help but be fascinated watching these two.

Hello kids it's me again.

2008-10-10T16:09:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have been away, but I think as you could tell by my last post "Angry Boski" had returned and with a good deal of vengeance, and it was not pretty. I just let myself get overwhelmed by work and by working on my Mother-In-Law's house. Which took up so much time over the last month in half, with really the only breaks being a trip to Vegas and our anniversary. Other than that it was work, Mother-In-Laws, sleep, work . . . and so and so on. It because a confluence that lead to me going on the self-hate warpath.

But that is now done with. I am still fighting with my issues, but I am miles from where I was a week ago. Never the less the house is sold. We still have a lot of stuff to deal with, but it is not pressing. We are going to take some time to decompress.

So where does that leave this blog?

I am not sure.

When I am not either working, perfecting my self loathing, caring for our "kids", or stalking John Davidson, I have been spending a lot of my time on those wacky internets on Facebook and FanIQ. I have not had the patience to settle in and give one of my lengthy diatribes. Oh there has been a lot of things to rant about. Let's just say McCain/Palin make TimeWarner Cable look like a weekend of watching nothing but football. I am going to stop since I really do not want to throw this keyboard. Instead, I have just been honing my witty sports and pop culture references and connecting with old acquaintances and former co-workers. Fun, but I still think about the Ol' Blog O' Fun. Grammar and syntax at least had a holiday from my constant assaults on it.

So I am back to where I was at a while back wondering if I wanted to keep blogging. Right now I am pondering getting to 900 posts and moving this blog over to Wordpress just to try it.

I don't just know.

Thanks for listening.

New Office term.

2008-09-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

Boski - to spill something on yourself at the office that will make you look foolish all day and cause you to have to replace that article of clothing.

Today I Boski'ed myself at the copier, and got toner all over my pants. Now my khaki pants look like they are apart of the Dockers Black Lung Miners Khaki's.

Now as I walk around my shame is on display for all my peers. Oh how I love to answer the question, "What happened?"

Well me being dumb is what happened, now leave me be.

Great move dumb ass, great freaking move.

Some observations from the gym

2008-09-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

I know I my appearance does not show it, but I love being at the gym. I know I have talked about it before, but I am one of those sick bastards that gets up at ten to five and gets their slappy ass out of bed. I get in there about 5:20 to 5:30 and then leave around 8:00. I love that time, since it is my time. I can throw on the headphones and just do my own thing. It is something that helps me through the day. I feel 1000% better days that I worked out then days I just roll into work. It is also something helps me with focus and also it provides me structure that I desperately need.

Now I love my gym, but there are still a couple of things that annoy me, well more people at the gym that annoy me and I would like to address them here. So please excuse the following rantings:

Mr. Hog the Universal Machine and Cable Guy- Yeah I am talking to you and your stupid fancy track suit. You turn the damn thing into a goddamn base camp. Seriously, all I see you do is work on your triceps and abs, oh and looking at yourself in the mirror. You are not climbing Everrest you dumb bastard. Also buddy, there is a limit of 20 seconds of starring at yourself in the mirror after doing a set. After 20, then it is vanity. How do I know? I can see you starring at yourself as I am staring at myself. Also you do not need to take both rope cables to achieve your triceps awesomeness? I know I should just work in on your machine just to piss you off, but I hate confrontations and I am just not up for anything that is going to take more than three words.

Ms. Personal Trainer Who Feels She Needs to Comment on My Squinting, My Lifting, or What I Am Reading - Look leave me alone. I know you mean well, but just let me get my workout in. I do not need you brand of chipperness.

Now for any and all of you who take the free weights and spread them to the four corners of the gym. Just F'ing stop it! If you have to take a weight, that's cool, but the basketball court is not where it goes, neither does it belong at the treadmill or on the track. They belong on the F'ing rack. They are free weights not pigeons. They are not going to return to their perches. Also don't be afraid to put them back in some kind of order. Now I can be guilty of this as well so I will slap my own wrist

SLAP!

There, I am not above the rules either.

Mr. Well The Steam Room Is Just Skin Scaldingly Hot Enough - Look it is a steam room not a freaking crock pot jackass.

Lastly to the two smokers who I see nearly everyday puffing on the lung darts before you come in to play hoops. Look, if you want to smoke, more power to you, but don't you think sparking up the old coffin nails before a workout is how they say, counter productive?

Okay you have heard enough of my petty little rants from my petty little life. Now I have to pack things up head home and go pack up another house.

Sorry I have been busy.

2008-09-10T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have let myself get distracted, yet again. Which is not a shock to my ADD addled mind.

Right now I have been busy with the the following: Getting the Better Half's Mom's house ready for sale, work, football in all of it glorious forms, cheese production in Denmark, futzing around on my Internet crack site FanIQ, the Idaho Art scene, watching the White Sox limp along in September, air hockey stars of the 70's, Calmatto, trying out Facebook, Dutch Elm Disease, and keeping my rage in check anytime John McCain or Sarah Palin are on TV.

I will be back to this blog to give you the underwhelming material you have come to expect here. Right now Boski Industries is hard at work at making this blog not suck as bad as it does.

Goodbye Adorable Stalker

2008-09-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I came home from Volunteer Night for Habitat. When I pulled into the driveway I came to the realization that his family has moved and we will no longer get to see him bound down the sidewalk to our home looking for some petting, or find him napping in the yard.

We knew this day was coming, but still it hurts. Especially since we didn't really have a chance to say our goodbyes, or give his owners the brush we had for him. Maybe it was for the better since I more than my wife would be blubbering uncontrollably and probably making a scene. I know it is silly to be upset about a cat, but I don't care he is a great cat. Also I have a ridiculously large soft spot for pets, so stuff like this gets to me so easy. I know it makes me a some whack job.

For the past three plus years he adorably stalked us and tried as hard as could to get into our home. Only succeeding a couple of times. Never the less he kept coming back, he never came looking for food, which we never gave him, he just wanted petting and to sniff new things.

Whenever he would catch us as he arrived home, or leaving the house, he would scurry up the path and get to his "petting table", which used to be the his "petting tiki". He would hop up and eagerly await the petting, while listening to us heap praise on him and advising him to stay out of the street.

I have to remind myself that we at least got to hang with him for so long, and we should be thankful for that since his owners picked him up at the pound. Which blows my mind since he such a friendly cat. The birds and lizard in yard would disagree however.

So Adorable Stalker (aka Frisco or Frisco the Cat) thank you for all the great times and all the happiness you brought us. We will miss you, but we hope that you enjoy your new home.

Here are some shots we have of him as he tried to batter us with his adorableness.

Okay, thank you indulging me and my insanity.

Please people I ask one thing of you this weekend.

2008-08-29T17:01:00.000-07:00

Don't labor too much.

Alright I am out of here I have a football draft to attend.

So far I can say its a good day.

2008-08-29T09:34:00.000-07:00

I had a good workout this morning and heard many in the locker room angry and disappointed with McCain's running mate.

It's going to be a good Friday.

I have a question.

2008-08-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Who in the hell are you people doing at the Qwest lab?

This morning I had to go and get some blood drawn. Stupid thyroid. Now I get up at 4:50 AM each morning, so that was not the problem. My problem was that when I pulled up at 5:15AM, I knew I was screwed. It seems everyone and their mothers needed to be at that testing center, at that hour, on the days I roll in. When I did walk in and took my seat, to read all those wonderful outdated Road and Track magazines (Hmmm the Ford Pinto might be the next big thing). I sat in there for an hour, to do something that took less than 3 minutes to deal with. Two of those minutes were sent having the person look at my insurance card and my order. So it makes ask what the hell are you people doing back there? Maybe I shouldn't ask that question, since we are talking about a place that collects bodily fluids to be tested. Also people have you insurance stuff in order. I did not come here to hear about your stupidity.

Thankfully I was able to get out of there with enough time before noon, and able to get to the gym and get a workout in, so I am not going to go find a bell tower later.

Catching up.

2008-08-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I am just trying to dig out of mound of work I missed while being at an off site workshop.

It was an uneventful field trip. I had to drive out to a hospital in San Bernadino for said workshop.

This little sojourn only sucked on a couple of fronts:

It was in San Bernadino.

It was in San Bernadino in August.

Having to take and hour and a half to drive to San Bernadino.

It was stupid hot and when I got to the hospital I could not find any covered parking so getting into the car that was baking from 9AM was a joy.

Had to fight myself when I got to the I-15 Interchange not to want to say "F it I am off to Vegas". Had to repeat at the 215 Interchange as well.

Did I mention it was in San Bernadino?

(Note I would like to take the time to apologize to any or all of you who make the Inland Empire your home for my elitist attitude. Look I mean no harm and I know that things can't be as horrible as I make it since I have not lived there, but since I am not going to take up meth, grow a mullet or get a SeaDoo, I will never know.)

On the plus side:

My work day was done at 3:00 PM

Sure the material discussed was a bit dry, but it not a total waste of time. Interesting to hear from people at different hospitals.

&

I got to drive the BMW, which made the not taking the I-15 North even tougher. I could have been in Vegas by Noon damn it. Never the less I had a good time driving that car.

So there is a recap of something all of you could care less about.

Another reminder that Bush and his gang are still in charge.

2008-08-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

Border fence design blasted as causing flooding.

So how is that fence going?

Hey Mr. Chertoff what's you gut telling you now? Hey why listen to people who may know about the effects of that kind of fences would have if there was a weather event. They don't know what is best, but then this is probably all Obama's fault anyway. That it was his high taxes causing all the mischef.

I hate to say, but I have let my guard down on Bush the past few months. I must have G.W. Fatigue, since I just thought all he and his cronies were doing was playing out the string. Then I see a story like this, and I remind myself, this administration can still do a ton of damage from now until January 20th, that is we have elections, whoops sorry I got a little too conspiratorial there.

Right now it makes me look to Denver and ask two things.

1. Will the Broncos defense improve enough to get back to the playoffs . . . sorry reflex. But I send out this plead that the convention goes smoothly. The G.O.P is licking it's lips over this possible Obama/Clinton alley fight. If it gets ugly then the G.O.P. will play it up like 1968 lite. Look I understand there maybe some issues to smooth out, do it behind close doors and do what is going to be best for country. Also let us not have another Jimmy Carter/Ted Kennedy 1980 moment where it looked like Ted was only out there because he was forced at gun point.

2. That when the convention is over Obama get that momentum back? Not just a temporary bounce from the convention but real momentum and get back some ground in the battleground states. He needs to get back to hammering away at McCain and what will be a continuation of the wonderfulness that is G.W. We need to keep this country from going through another two, three maybe four years, depending on if McCain wants to go after Iran, Russia and probably China.

Okay enough of my nonsense, back to the grind.

Oh you think?

2008-08-22T09:17:00.000-07:00

Bernanke: Financial crisis taking toll on economy

Well not much get past you Mr. Bernanke. What was the tip off? Oil at $140, financial institutions needing bailing out, a flood of foreclosures or was it the plague of locus.

No better time to talk about a trip you took in June in....

2008-08-20T10:49:00.000-07:00

August.

Hey remember back a few post when I said,

Hey I spent a week on a horse - actually got back from that trip two weeks ago.
I swear I will put the Snapfish link when my wife is done. But we spent a week
in Bridgeport CA at a place called Hunewill Ranch. So now I can say I have
punched some doggies.

Well I finally broke down and scooped up the pics from our trip, we have been busy and Snapfish can go try to fornicate with itself. I still marvel that I made the trip and I did not injury myself or get eaten by wolves. I am not great in nature, or as Ma Boski succinctly put when I told her I was going to go to Yosemite with some friends over Spring Break. She said,

"Boski, we are just not an outdoor people."

It seems that the Boski clan took to domestication quite quickly when arriving from Ireland. So just think of me a house cat that blogs poorly. Any way the trip went well, I stayed on my horse the entire time. So please sit back and enjoy some nice photos (taken by the Better Half) with some questionable content (me)

Here is a shot of room. Rustic, but nice. It had a giant closet that we essentially turned into our " Tack Room".

Here is a shot of the lodging of our friends and the view we got to see everyday. Not too shabby.

Here is yours truly riding the plains. I knew all those quarters spent outside the Supermarket would pay off.

Here is another glimpse of the majestic Eastern Sierras. If you go West, but do not "Go West" since you don't want to close your eyes. (I am sorry for the bad 80's reference there, I can't help it.) Wait where was I? But if you go over the mountains you are on the backside of Yosemite.

Ah here are some doggies that we punched, okay we did not punch them, but these are a couple of bulls that my wife and some of the advanced riders got to herd.

Here is nice shot from the barn, looking out over the pastures.

Look some dork on a hay ride.

A nice dusk shot of some of the ranch land.

Here I am dragging up the rear on the breakfast ride. Even though this was day four I was still looking for the radio dial. Also embarrassingly enough I rode the whole week with my left turn signal on.

On the day five they packed some of us up and drove out to a spot called Twin Lakes. I was hoping Twin Peaks, I have always wanted to meet the Log Lady, sadly it was not. What was not sad was the ride through Toiyabe National Forest and the Hoover Wilderness .

From the lake we gained a good bit of elevation as we traversed some steep switchbacks and through the beautiful flora. Damn it was a long ride. Beautiful, but long.

It was all worth it when we reached our destination, Barney Lake.

Not too shabby huh.

Like Randy from "A Christmas Story" I laid their like a slug, it was my only defense. No it was nice being able to stretch out.

A smile to scare off any wildlife.

After lunch took a shot with my trust steed. God bless Redman, he was a trooper putting up with me. Also to answer any questions this horse was not high at all during the week.

Well it was time finally to go, here I am giving Redman a farewell carrot, after our last afternoon ride. I think it almost looked like I knew what I was doing.

Soon after the carrot and the saddle came off, he bolted for the safety of the pasture and the start of his weekend.

The only thing that really sucked about the trip was just right after this, we were enjoying the farewell dinner. About halfway through I quickly felt awful. It was like I was coming down with either Dengue Fever, dropsy or something. It ended up just being a cold, however a cold and stuffy head at altitude sucks. My wife dealt with it coming up and now here I was bring it back down the mountain. Great. Never the less I highly recommend the experience. We will definitely do it again sometime in the future.

So what do you blog when you tired, at work and you have no ideas?

2008-08-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

Apparently not much, not much at all. So file this under Twinkee Filling.

More wacky things are going on in the boot of Europe.

2008-08-18T17:03:00.001-07:00

Italian Mayors Abuse Moderate Levels of Power. (Thanks Yahoo)

Hey Baron Von Beatitude or Der Popenator!

2008-08-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

Looks like someone has the Law Firm of Jacoby and Myers on their side.

Knights Templar 'Heirs' Sue Pope For Billions. (Thanks to NPR)

Looks like Clement V's idea to label them heretics may have not been the best idea. Also the Knights were able to file this lawsuit just in time, since everyone knows the statue of limitations on this crime is 703 years. 702 years, oh you wacky Knights are thrill seekers aren't you.

I hear from my sources (sure they maybe imaginary but we are not going to cloud the issue with facts), I hear that the "Knights Who Say Nee" are lining up to sue the Vatican as well.

Well it's looking like th 80's all over again.

2008-08-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

The U.S.S.R eeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Russia is getting it back into the bad guy business. As we have seen Russia has decided to hold a "Turn Back the Clock" invasion of Georgia.

Congrats Mr. Putin you have just past Yuri Andropov on the "Worst Russian Leader Post-Revolution" list. Now Vlad, if you work hard you may be able to get past Brezhnev. I just hope and pray that you do not try to come anywhere near the man on top of that list. Who ironically is former Georgian Joseph Stalin.

Was it reallty 15 years ago?

2008-08-13T10:57:00.001-07:00

Fifteen years ago today, I took the Better Half on our first date.

Fresh from the "that's just wrong" files

2008-08-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hey we appreciate the desire to be clean, but could you do this somewhere else.

Video shows Burger King employee bathing in sink.

When did this become a Burger, Bath and Beyond?

I have a Superpower!

2008-08-12T14:40:00.001-07:00

Sadly it is one that sucks.

I have the incredible ability to take any thing with a cord and turn it into a tangled or a knotted mess. It never fails me that even when I trying to wrap it up and wrap it properly it still ends up getting tangled. Be it my I-pod headphones, the hose, the vacum cable you name it I could probably get it tangled up using only the power of my brain.

As you can see it is a superpower that is right up there with:

Really bendy thumb

Ability to calm jittery squirrels

Ability to communicate with corn

Magnetic colon

(Thanks to David Letterman and his wonderful top ten list)

I the ironic thing is I can't tie knots to save my life. Along with this and the ability to make mind numbing arcane references I don't have much else in the Superhero powers department. Now there are a couple I would like. Sure you can have the super strength, ability to fly, blah, blah, blah. I want to be able to have the power to do the following:

Be able to speak with the thickest Irish or Scottish borough humanly possible - I am talking really thick folks. You would need subtitles to understand what I am saying.

Be like Aquaman and be able to use telepathy, but instead of calling all the creatures of the sea, I want the ability to call upon washed up TV actors. So that I could have the likes of Ted McGinley, Betty White, David Fastino, Willie Ames and Bronson Pincho do my bidding. That folks, would be better than the army of cats I am trying to build.

The ability to avoid pledge breaks on NPR - Hey I already gave, leave me alone and let me listen to music.

Making really bad arcane references - Oh wait I do that now, and that not a superpower, it's more like an affliction.

Well that is what my little brain has for right now. Also this post seemed a lot funnier an hour ago. Hey if you have anything better let me know.

Hey kids are you ready for the Olympics?

2008-08-08T11:43:00.001-07:00

No. I am suffering a huge case of Olympic apathy. Sadly I could really careless about these Olympic Games.

My wife on the other hand has the "Olympic Fever" so I will not be able to avoid the games, which is alright. I just see a hole for the next two weeks. I however will probably will spend the two weeks filling that hole with Preseason Football, prepping for two fantasy football drafts and a pennant chase to monitor.

So in for all of those out there who share my apathetic Olympic outlook

"Slower, Lower, Weaker"

This weeks musical misadventures.

2008-08-07T14:33:00.001-07:00

So I am making a liar out of myself and trying this again. So what has been on the ol' I-Pod as of late. So please I just ask you keep your laughing and ridicule to a minimum.

Disconnected - Rollins Band - If you look down a couple post you understand

Us or Them - The Cure - Some angry goth music for you

Longsight M13 - Ian Brown - A little shoe gazing magic from former Stone Roses front man

Inertia Creeps - Massive Attack - Again more music for the brooding Boski

Fully Retractable - Soul Coughing - A very underrated band

Deeper Shade of Soul - Urban Dance Squad - There are a couple songs that I need to here for me to officially declare Summer is here and this is one of them.

AF607105 - Charlotte Gainsbourg - A dreamy tune, which oddly is about a plane crash. I know it is odd, but the song still works.

Look Buddy you are going to be in a long line with the rest of us...

2008-08-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

Man tells 911 slot machine stole his money.

Because sir you are not the first one to have this thought, but you however are the first one dumb enough to call 911 about this.

Florida you say, well I am not surprised.

I got nothing for you today.

2008-08-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

All I have is some lint from one of my pockets and a cabbage that looks like William McKinley.

I hate to kick my own ass but

2008-08-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

I think I have a case of the Monday's. Well it does not help it was damn ass hot while working in the yard. I am now fighting with a toilet in the house, and it may get to hand to hand combat. And to top it the White Sox lost 2 out of three to the Constitutional Monarchs including a Sunday free-for-all. A loss that is going to sting in a couple of ways. One, that loss lead to the Sox slipping out of first, and a possibility of a long suspension of Ozzie Guillen because of this gem. (Yahoo Sports) Hey, you have to appreciate his honesty.

Well this sums up how I am feeling.

2008-08-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

This little ditty is from Ol' Hank Rollins. Yep it has been that kind of week where my little ADD mind just wants to go walkabout, and since punching myself in my own face is not a workable option. Here you go

Disconnect - Rollins Band

don't like to think too much, it makes me think too much,
it keeps my min on my mind
don't wanna see too much, it makes me see to much
sometimes I'd rather be blind

all the things that they're saying & doing
when they pass me by it just fills me up with noise
it overloads me

I wanna disconnected myself
pull my brains damn out, unplug myself
I want nothing right now, I want to pull it out

yeah,

I want to pull it out, yeah
I wanna break it all down,
hey, I wanna pull it out
yeah, yeah, disconnect myself,
disconnect myself

a thousand miles an hour going nowhere fast
clinging to the details of your past
talking 'bout your damages and wasting my time
wanna be the "King of Pain" stand in line
all the numbers and the colors of the facts
backed by the rumours and the figures of the stats

I think I'm gonna download my mind

I wanna pull it out

too damn bad if at the end of the day the only thoughts
in your brain are all the things that they say,
what a waste
too damn bad if at the end of the line you got no idea of what's on your own mind
you got no one to blame but yourself
too much to know, too much to see
it might mean something to you, but it's nothing to me

I wanna disconnect myself, pull my brains damn out, unplug myself
I want nothing right now, I want to pull it out

I hear you Hank, I hear you.

The Blog Trade Deadline is fast approaching!

2008-07-31T13:58:00.000-07:00

Look I am here to assure all of you that this blog has not been traded for a couple of GeoCities Websites, A Flickr account and a Blog to be named later.

A note to the prospective buyers of my wife's mom's house.

2008-07-30T09:48:00.000-07:00

Oh and this also goes out to the agents showing the home and any inspectors inspecting the home. Here is a list of a my grievances:

Stop with coming to the house and having a picnic while you are there, and if you do then you better damn well pick up after yourself.

Stop leaving the toilet seats up.

If you are going to move the outdoor furniture, please put it back they way you found it.

Put trash in the damn trash can!

If you are inspecting the home, it would be great if you didn't forget to turn the outside water back on. The whole dead plant and brown grass thing went out ages ago.

Hey feel free to check out the blinds, sure go ahead leave them open. I would really love to let everyone know that no one lives there.

Which leads me to

Hey if you open a door, how about closing it. And here is another radical idea. Lock the F'ing doors when you leave. Nothing like coming over and finding the blinds up, so you can see that the back sliding glass doors are wide open. Hey nothing helps a house resale value like a burglary, or squatters, or even animals coming in and tearing things up. (Look folks they may be cute but a raccoon will shank you if it gets a chance and will just go rock star and treat your home like it was a hotel room.) Now we have come to the house on three occasions and found doors to the outside either opened or unlocked. This along with the numerous times the blinds were left open does not really warm my heart.

Lastly, stop f'ing low balling us! I know the market sucks, but I know you a-holes are F'ing with me and my wife. Make a serious offer and don't come with the shady financing. Also if you do make an offer and get us excited, please don't turn around and realize that it is not feasible to add on to a 4 bedroom 3 bath house!

As you can see I am little miffed about this. To the point where I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle just so I can go to the homes of these offenders and just do burnout on their floors and ghost ride the bike into any major pieces of furniture or glass doors.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Okay I feel much better now

I love my little town.

2008-07-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

Last night the Better Half and I sat under the stars and watched "The Muppet Movie" here

A good time was had by all.

EARTHQUAKE!

2008-07-29T11:45:00.000-07:00

Well just had a nice little tumbler roll through. Well that will get the ol' heart going.

Hey Senator Stevens

2008-07-29T10:06:00.001-07:00

SUCK IT.

Sen. Stevens of Alaska faces criminal charges.

I hope you go down for the count and if you go, then take your stupid Bridge to Nowhere with you.

I think I am going to give the thumbs down to

2008-07-28T12:14:00.001-07:00

Tom's of Maine Deodorant.

I had read it that it was good and since it is natural it can't hurt. Sadly it has not been really working for me and my sweaty self as I plug away in my sauna err my cube. But then it may be like climbing Everest in flip flops. Now I don't reek but I am not ready to run around my office with my arms up.

Phoning it in.

2008-07-28T10:31:00.001-07:00

I was late on the cellphone thing, but I finally got a cell phone back in 2002. What clinched it was coming back from Baja. While waiting to cross back I saw the pan handlers had cell phones. I knew it was time. So I got a Virgin Mobile phone. Now I am on my second phone, which I got at Christmas of 2005. It is looking a little rough. If you looked at it you would probably ask if I got gum with it. Especially now since, it looks like I have played hockey with it. So now I have phone envy. I keep seeing all the cool phones people have, and all the things they can do. I now have been clamoring for one. So I keep looking at phones and plans and plotting how I will rule the world, then it hits me.

I don't call or text people.

What did my weekend comprise of.

2008-07-28T09:38:00.000-07:00

A cattle drive - Nothing says Saturday Morning like watching a cattle drive. Yes cattle was herded through the streets of our humble little municipality. (O.C. Register)

Latter that day we decided to head into the Fair to see the sites and see the latest developments in fried food technology. It is also fascinating people watching at the Fair and see the people who put effort into their outfits. I mean you could see that people put in a lot of time and effort in deciding either to go with the Raiders Jersey or the Beer Inspector T-shirt.

This week end also comprised of seeing the White Sox take 2 out of three from the Pitty Kitties. Next up the hated Twins.

Spent hours watching our new adopted kids (Tortoises) making sure they ate. As I mentioned our house was looking like a hobo camp. Thankfully it has gotten better. The yards are bare right now. So right now in the back we have the kids in an area where we can keep an eye on, since we have some plants that are not the best for them. So we are working on finding ways of Tortoise proofing those plants so they can have free reign. I would have never expected to be fascinated watching them, but I am.

Disposing of a "gift" left by this guy.

Woke up Saturday Morning and found a bird that was brought down by this Orange & White character. Me and the Better Half appreciate that he wants to provide for us, but there is not threat to our food supply, and if is going to do that, just leave it to mice. Felt bad about the bird, but could not get mad at him too much, he's a cat.

Sunday - finally had a day to loaf around and clear out stuff on the TIVO. The Better Half and I finished our peaceable weekend with dinner what we like to think is our local (Memphis) . If you ever come to Costa Mesa or Santa Ana stop on in.

So it is now back to grind.

Giving things up.

2008-07-25T14:38:00.000-07:00

I realized over the past year or so that I have been giving things up. I still have a long list of other things to give up, most give up kicking my own ass about everything, but that a story for another day. Last night at the concert I made a mental list of things I had given up.

1. Caffeine - thanks to the medication I am on I would be Jumpy McJupperty if I still drank caffeinated beverages. I still take a taste every once in a while so I can get back that feeling of riding the dragon. Even as much as miss being able to drink Coke I will say it has helped in losing weight so I am cool with it.

2. Being cool - I took Devo's advice and I am just through being cool

3. Being 5-10 - And I will never be 5-10. I am 5-9 1/2 and that is the way it is.

4. Playing Madden - Something I though unimaginable since 1993, but I just have not played a game of Ol' Madden since February.

5. Being young - Last night at the Pysch Furs/Yaz concert I noticed that I may have been one of the youngest ones there, at age 36. I should have known the moment I asked the Better Half, "When did our parents start going to our shows?” that my youth had "gone daddy gone". Well I knew this day was coming, now excuse me I have to pull my pants up to my arm pits, chase kids off the lawn and get to the early bird special at Denny’s.

Post script to this post - The concert was good, sure Richard Butler looked like the child of Johnny Rotten and James Spader but sounded great. Yaz surprised me I was entertained.

Time to hop into the time machine.

2008-07-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

I am out of here, off to head home so me, the Better Half, one of my sister and a friend I used to work with to go back to the 80's.

Going to wander to the ol' Orange County Fair Grounds to see Yaz & Psychedelic Furs. So excuse me I have a really skinny tie I have to find.

Damn it I was so close.

2008-07-24T12:42:00.000-07:00

Came up short in my "Worlds Deadliest Catch" Fantasy League yet AGAIN.

I came up a couple opilio crabs short of winning.

I know I should have picked Captain Andy when I had a chance, no I passed and then I pick up the Hilstrand kid who almost kills someone.

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it!

Just asking.

2008-07-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

Who wins in a tag-team match?

Blair Warner & Edna Garrett or Judge Milton Hardcastle & Mark "Skid" McCormick.

Look finding the answer to this may just help win that Noble Prize in Physics I have been craving.

Tripping toward August

2008-07-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

The White Sox somehow are still holding on the AL Central lead, thanks to the Twins falling on their face of late. I have a feeling I should start working on picking out a name for my future ulcer. Even if the White Sox get lucky win the AL Central over the under achieving Ninjas that are the Twins, they will not make easy.

Look I know I should be happy since I expected to ready for football by June 1st, but like usual I am not.

I don't know how this can be?

2008-07-22T12:07:00.000-07:00

Iraq facing a tough sell for tourism.

Wow I am floored by this. Who does not want to go to a place where a civil war might break out. . .

Did I really do that?

2008-07-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would ever do this, but I bought a pair of jeans that cost over $100. Even as short as 6 months ago I would never imagined it, but now I have done it.

I know it was silly, but I actually got a deal on them. Also I have been looking for a pair that are nice that I can wear out and not look like a hobo, but I know will sit back and take your scorn.

Let's give this one a spin.

2008-07-18T16:08:00.001-07:00

Yes, I have gone blog template crazy. I think I should stick to this one for at least a couple of hours.

Oh I am not happy about this and now I will rant!

2008-07-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

I do love me television, outside of sports I catch some of less beaten path shows. I rarely care about things like the Emmy's, but yesterday I wanted to punch everyone on the nomination committee right in the neck.

Why Boski?

Simple.

The Wire = 0 nominations. That is {content removed, but let's say Tommy Lasorda blushed} wrong! Hey maybe it was a mistake, or maybe it was time for other shows and actors to get nominations since the The Wire has grabbed so many in the previous four years. Oh wait a second that can't be since The Wire has never received ANY nominations in five years.

0 are you F$%#ing kidding me!

That is F'ing honked up, and I am talk of biblical proportion . This was one of the best TV series ever, EVER to grace TV. Five years of great TV and no nominations. Okay I am still catching up on season five, only because our old TIVO took a dirt nap. So if any of you tell me what happens I will be pissed, pissed to the point where I will not give you any positive marks for your comments. . . immediately. I will seriously wait 10, 15 seconds. Don't try me.

Also Jimmy Kimmel got no nomination for JKL. Damn that was a bad week, first him and Sara breakup and now this. Look I know I am shill for Jimmy Kimmel but the show has been great. Look it should have got a nomination based on two things. "I am %$&ing Matt Damon" and the follow up, "I am %$#*ing Ben Afflec". Yes crude, but hilarity.

Thankfully Bryan Cranston and Gabriel Bryne got nominations for Best Actors in a Drama, especially Cranston who is spectacular in Breaking Bad. If he had not gotten a nomination I would be starting a one man riot. As for ol Gabe he was fantastic as the shrink facing his own issues in "In Treatment".

Alright I am done, I have not gotten this worked up over TV since Time Warner Cable took away the NFL Network or when Cousin Oliver showed up on the Brady Bunch. Now excuse me I have go the "What's Happening" when the Dobbie Brothers play at the high school and rerun gets busted for bootleg is on.

But Nancy tell us something we didn't know.

2008-07-17T17:31:00.000-07:00

House Speaker Pelosi calls Bush 'a total failure'

I mean even I had this pegged by 2004.

So what has been Boski listening to?

2008-07-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

In an effort to fill time and space here is a new feature on the blog that may last about one week, so with no further adieu. Please save your laughing and mocking till this blog has come to a complete stop.

According to my I-Pod here is what is hot on my I-Pod:

List of Demands - Saul Williams (The Nike Sparq campaign sucked, but at least they used this song)

Let's All Go (To the Fire Dances) - Killing Joke

Great DJ - The Ting Tings (One of the best free songs I have ever gotten from I-Tunes)

Mistaken for Strangers - The National

Button - Sia (Look I am sucker for her, ever since I heard her doing tracks for Zero 7)

Everywhere I Go - The Call (There's another 80's flashback for you.)

Midnight In a Perfect World - DJ Shadow

Alright please go back to your scoffing.

Some light entertainment from the British Comedy Gem that is the Mighty Boosh!

2008-07-15T16:36:00.001-07:00

Who does not love glam folk?

Viva Vai

2008-07-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

Thank you Mr. Sikahema for doing what a lot of people have always dreamed of doing. (Yahoo Sports)

This is why Vai kicked ass on Special Teams.

Feel the fury of the Sikahema!

Who wins in a fist fight?

2008-07-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

Gabe Kaplin vs. Jack Klugman.

Just asking.

Again sorry for the mess.

2008-07-11T14:29:00.001-07:00

Also if I may have caused any seizures. I had about 12 different templates on here today, but you have to break some eggs if you want a peanut butter sandwich. Wait that does not sound right. Oh forget it, I am also trying rebuild this blog. During my blogs "Sybil" stage I lost a lot of links. So I am doing my best to reconstruct the blog and try to and some new stuff. So please let me know if this is alright or if you have any suggestions

Also I want to reassure everyone that I am not a degenerate gambler with all the gambling sites. I may a degenerate, but not a degenerate gambler. Hell I am willing to put money on it.

A note to all the Heshian/Headbanger/Future Burnouts

2008-07-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

Enough with the fireworks. The fourth is over you freaking little pyros.

I know that the 4th is your Halloween and Christmas wrapped up into one, but are you all that baked to think it is really bitchin to keep firing them off after and even before the fourth. Do you think that you hold the whole neighborhood rapt with baited breath to hear the genius that you shooting off your IED's? Well it isn't. So why don't you get a hair cut and read a book. (sorry I did not know I was going to turn into an angry 85 year old man)

Look I still love me some fireworks, and things going boom but I let the pros do it and not some 13 year old hesher whose deepest thought is, "how can I crossbred a Piccolo Pete' with a bottle rocket?"

Sorry for all the futzing...

2008-07-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

Just trying to find something new to roll with here on the Blog.

Please go about your business.

Management

Hey everyone, meet one of the new members of the Boski Clan

2008-07-09T12:10:00.001-07:00

I think I mentioned we are now the owners of two desert tortises. Look these tortises were given to my wife's family about 20 years ago so it is not like we ran out and swooped them up, which you should never, EVER do. They are fun and it is cool watching them roam around. Here is a clip of one of our newest lawnmowers.

You know what I like about cleaning the garage?

2008-07-09T11:58:00.000-07:00

Not a damn thing.

Working on trying to make the house not look like a hobo camp, since we have guest coming in. Spent last night and most of Sunday moving stuff out of out house and moving to our storage unit, along with stuff from my wife's mom's.

Damn I have a lot of stuff I have no business keeping, but who know when I will need to produce my Disneyland Training the Trainer Binder, or my Frank Thomas CD single.

Well I still have more to do.

Okay I just need to vent, I feel better.

I am back, I think

2008-03-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile kids.

Well a lot has been going on since the last time I sat down and really blogged for you.

As you can see I have not been abducted by Finnish Secret Service, Time Warner Cable or became entangled in a pyramid scheme. However I would like to talk to you about Confederated Products. . . Maybe I will wait on that.

I have been struggling to figure out how to start this all over again and let you know what is going on. I have tried to sit down and do this at least 70 times, without turning this into a Steven King novel.

Let me just start off with 2007 sucked, from start to finish it sucked hard for the most part. 2008 has been better, but it has had some major suckage as well. So let me try to bullet point the highs and lows of the past year and half since I was writing to all of you good people (crickets):

My wife's mother passed away. Still tough to talk about.

Dealing with ADD and depression. I will talk about that at a later time as long as I don't make is sound pretentious.

I am on medication. All those years I used to joke about it and now it has happened. go figure. The medication has help but it does make me sweat more than I like. Let's say on some days I sweating like Dom Delouse

Gave up caffine, I don't know how I have made it this far.

Working on selling Better Half's Mom's home, which has been a huge undertaking. Nothing like selling a house when the market is tanking. Good times.

Did the Jimmy Carter Work Project in San Pedro CA, actually got to meet Mr. Carter briefly.

Been back to Vegas and it kicked ass. Nearly plowed into John Cleese at the Palazzo.

Let my hair go grey

From this:

To this:

Lost 25 pounds - Thanks to the meds I am on, getting my ass back to the gym and trying to eat better I have lost weight. I am not down to around 185. The scary thing is now I can bench press more now at 36, than I did when I was 18. The other sad thing is that # is 200 pounds. I "played" football and was an interior lineman and I could not bench more than 165 through out high school. My goal is to lift 225 so I finally declare myself eligible for the NFL Draft where I will be the first guy whose Wonderlick score and # of benching 225 combined will not be even half of my 40 time.

Finally have a BMW 3 Series, not happy how it came to us (it was the BH Mom car) also not happy that the car I really love and have been dreaming of owning runs on premium. Someone cue Alanis Morrissette.

Me and the Better Half are now the guardians of two desert tortoises, again you can guess from where. But we have taken them in, and enjoying it. Now just have to fix up the yard.

Sadly this guy may be moving away from us soon:

His family is looking for another home, since I think they maybe upside down on it, but I am no Chairman of the Fed. We do however hold out hope that they will leave him with us, but right now we are just trying to enjoy as much time as we can with him.

Well I became TimeWarner's prison bride. Our Tivo went teats up so we got a new one, an HD Tivo and we continued with out life time subscription. Doing that locks us in with Time Warner, but in standard TimeWarner Cable fashion they had to give us an extra box so we could run the On-Demand since the digital cable cards could not. Which ended up being a disaster and now they have raised the rates again and are charging us for both boxes. So it is good to see that in this world there are things you can depend on.

I have been moonlighting on the blogosphere, well actually have been hanging at another site pumping out witty sports and pop culture banter. FanIQ. I am there way more than I should, but I enjoy it. I can pick games and not lose money, I can talk about sports, play trivia. Hell I even do this with about 90% less of my poor writing.

Speaking of sports think in 2008 have gotten better. 2007 sucked for all my teams. But in 2008 I have seen my White Sox stumble out of the blocks and wobbling toward a repeat of '07 but then correct themselves and play some inspired baseball. Look I did not see this team playing this well this year and if they were I still thought they would be third behind the Pity Kitty's and the Casino Owners. Instead it the Sox trying to fight off the Twinkees. I know it only July so a lot can happen, but Ozzie again is showing why I love the crazy S.O.B. As for the Lakers well everything went so well right until they got clubbed like baby harp seals by the Celtics. I would have like to seen the Celtics play like that when in the day when they face Cromwell. As for football, well it may be a long year for the Broncos and Bruins, but then I not the greatest when it comes to prognostication.

Hey I spent a week on a horse - actually got back from that trip two weeks ago. I swear I will put the Snapfish link when my wife is done. But we spent a week in Bridgeport CA at a place called Hunewill Ranch. So now I can say I have punched some doggies.

I have become a watch addict during my sabbatical. I think this all started back in the summer of 2005 when I got upset over losing a Wenger watch that I really liked. I had always just wore a simple Swatch since forever, but after losing that watch I got a replacement that Christmas and began a trend. Right now I have not lost my head yet, but I do own a bitchin TAG Heuer Carreara watch. But I will build myself a watch army and rule the world.....

Lastly - something I did not want to have to confess to but I have an obligation to come out and tell you. I have become a bit of a . . . metro sexual. Look I am sorry but I finally got to a point in my life that I wanted to stop being the worst dress guy at the office. I realized that my days looking like a hobo are over. Now I have not gone all Ryan Seacreast and frosted my tips, but I know have a subscription to Esquire and GQ with the possibility of getting Details. I know, I know you may all be ashamed but it is who I am.

So that is all I have for you now. I am going to try to get back to blogging, well at least attempt to try.

Signed Management

No I have not forgotten this blog.

2008-01-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

I have been having a beeeaaattccchhh of a time composing the frist one. Also as it seems for all of us, as we try to start on work something we have been holding off or avoiding. Something or somethings comes along and keep you from it. Right now work and a family emergency are keeping me from terrorizing the blogging world.

Unlike the greatest film never made (Buckaroo Bonzai vs the World Crime League) I am back.

2008-01-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am going to give it another go. I have no clue what I am going to write or do here, but I am going to give it the old Community College half-assed effort.

But before I begin I would again like to extend a laurel wreath to English, syntax and grammar. I know I have hurt you all before and I don't butcher you for pleasure, I do it because I am not a bright man.

Signed,

Management

Happy Holidays Everyone

2007-12-25T07:37:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to wish all three of you who have read this blog. Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday.

Not really an entry.

2007-09-28T16:54:00.001-07:00

It was just a e-mail that went astray.

We bring you this not so important bulletin.

2007-09-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

The Blog O' Fun is going on hiatus, it may be short, or it may be forever. It is up to fates to decide.

There is a lot going on in my life and I have got to go and sort it out. I may not find the answers I want, but it will be progress from where I am at now.

So on the bright side I will be saving all of you who read this and the rest of the blogging world from the drivel that I can crank out. I think grammar and syntax and the respectable profession that is football wagering will be the better for it. You know it is tough blogging when you have a fatwa out on you from Strunk & White. It ain't easy folks.

So if this is it, I want to thank all of you that have stopped by and and inspired me by your wonderful works to keep going. I will also ask forgiveness to all the blogs that I have darkened with my comments. I have met some wonderful people during blogging journey, some that I have actually met in person. I have been at this blog longer than every job I have ever held but one. This is something I have enjoyed and really loved doing. Again I am not trying to sound maudlin here and I did say I may be back.

I do hope I have been able to provide a chuckle or two along the way, if so then it is so worth it.

Now I am not totally going "Into the Wild" on you, I may still be floating around here and there. Till then, I leave you with this A Not So Old Blogger who has Irish Roots' Blessing,

May former White Sox utility man Ross Gload always be there to greet you

May the blogging wind always be at the back of your hard drive
May you never be asked to deiced Dirk Benedict's best role; Starbuck or Face,

and may Tim Raines always play shallow in your outfields

And until we meet Conrad Bain again,

May Godzilla not smash you with the palm of his hand.

Now Has Come The Time For The 2007 Boski Football Prediction Spectacuar!

2007-09-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well I have finally forced myself to sit down and type this out.

What has my extensive research has concluded is . . .

Some crazy ass crap is going to happen, but most of the usual suspects will be there at the end so let's take a look at the National Football Conference

East South

Dallas
Philadelphia
Washington
New York

South
New Orleans
Carolina
Tampa Bay
Atlanta

North

Chicago
Green Bay
Detroit
Minnesota

West
Seatlle
St. Louis
San Francisco
Arizona

AFC

East

New England
New York
Buffalo
Miami

South

Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Houston
Tennessee

North

Baltimore
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Cleveland

West

San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

NFC Wild Cards Philadelphia and Carolina
Conference Title Game: Dallas over Chicago

AFC Wild Cards Denver and Pittsburgh
Conference Title Game: New England over San Diego

Super Bowl XLII New England over Dallas

I plan to give more detailed explanation about these picks, but knowing me I will watch Week#1 and panic. So I reserve the right to make retractions and corrections.

Here are my picks for Week#1

Buffalo (+3) over Denver - Buffalo 27 - 14 (That ones for you Eric)

Houston (-3) over K.C. - Houston 24 - 9

Minnesota (-3) over Atlanta - Brain Brohm Watch starts today -Minnesota 27 - 17

New York (+6) vs. New England. Pats win, but the Jets keep it close 27 - 24

Philadelphia (-3) over Green Bay. Pack has made strides and will be close, but Eagles put them away late 28 - 21

Pittsburgh (-4.5) over Cleveland. Another horrible year starts yet again for Cleveland. Pittsburgh 34 - 17

Washington (-3) over Miami. I have a feeling that Trent Green will play like he did in K.C. Sadly I am thinking of Week#1 of last year. He is not going to make through this season. Washington 23 - 10

St. Louis (+1) over Carolina - Even though the Panthers have been able to contain the Rams at the Dome, they won't be able to do this Sunday. St. Louis 26 - 14

Oakland (-1.5) over Detroit. The Lane Kiffin Era begins with a win. Raiders 21 - 10

Seattle (-5.5) over Tampa Bay. Not the way Gruden wants to start the season since his job is on the line. Seahawks 30 - 20

Game of Day

San Diego (-6) over Chicago. Bad Rex stops by and hilarity ensues. San Diego 35 - 17

Dallas (-6) over New York. Sunday night is family night and do we need to show this slaughter. Dallas 28 - 13

Monday Night

Baltimore (+2.5) over Cincinnati. The Bengals will show their true stripes. No not prison stripes, just it can't play D. Baltimore 31 - 19

San Francisco (-3) over Arizona. They are who we thought they are, the Cardinals. San Francisco 31 - 24

All right I have to get some sleep.

The Time Has Finally Come!

2007-09-06T16:05:00.000-07:00

FOOOTTTTBBAALLLL SEASON IS HERE!!

Yes, the NFL is back and I can truly put the festering wound that was Chicago White Sox baseball away.

So it begins tonight. I am doing my last minute research and I will present to you the world my illustrious picks.

(Crickets)

Tonight we have the World Champions opening at home (1st time in 4 years) vs. the Free Good Hit of 2006.

New Orleans at Indianapolis (-6) (OU 52)

Well it looks like the a dream matchup of two team that can go up and down the field, with defenses that are not spectacular. I do not see the same amount of fireworks that everyone expects. There will be flashes, but it will be more start stop.

Saints will win if:

Remind the Colts front seven exactly who Deuce McAllister is. The Saints will still give some exotic looks and try to spring some quick strikes, but they will take from the "How To Play The Colts Manual" and run 50 Gut, Counter Trey, Iso plays and then cut them down and open up the back side running that zone.

Keep the Colts out of 3rd and manageables. For most teams that is 3 and less than 4, but the Colts you can stretch that 3rd and 7. The Colts can nickle and dime you to death, but better than leaving yourself exposed trying to get to Manning on a blitz and snap you done 14 points and you have to throw. Drew Brees please meet Dwight Freeney.

Make plays on special teams. This is the area the Colts have issues. Other than Vinatieri they don't have great coverage teams and no one really know if Hunter Smith is in the NFL since he is seen less than the Loch Ness Monster.

Colts win

If they can actually focus on the game. How many times do you see a team celebrate their championship only to get waxed. The Colts are 48-16 at home since 99.

Doing the three step. Everyone seems worried about the Colts taking a Ugoh out on the open road. It won't be a problem, even with the Saints have great DE's. The Colts will try to run quick hitters and slow up the rush. If the Colts can do that and not have to bring Clark into block, they will maintain a huge advantage. The 3 WR's will be enough, but having Clark up the the seam will be deadly.

The best defense is a kick ass offense. Colt D is at it's very best when on the sideline. The Colts have the ability to get quick scores and also grind up with the short stuff. Which make a sorry D work. Last vs. the run, and since they were so bad it made their passing #'s look good.

Survey Says

Colts win but won't cover the -6. Even though the Colts have been 48-16 at home since 99. They are also 30-32-2 against the line at the Victrola Dome. The Saints 37-28 in that same period. Last three years they were 16-9 ATS on the road (throw out 05 and its 13-3) 14-7 (11-2 if you again throw out 05) as a road dog. As for the Over/Under the two team will come close, but not over.

I am hoping for a thrilling start, but it will be interesting for 3 Quarters and then the Colts grind down the Saints, who will get a late score to make it close.

Colts 28 Saints 24

P.S. Take the over on the number of not so sublet hints that John Madden wants to meet Brett Farve in bathroom stall at the Minneapolis Airport (Not that there is any wrong with that)

Pre Football Not So Spectacular

2007-08-31T15:39:00.000-07:00

Today I sit here in my cube actually doing office labor. Well that was as of an hour ago. I have been prepping for another roto draft this weekend. I have already completed one. One, may I say, as the now defending champion. I have the Burger King Crown and Silent Bob Bobble head to prove it.

So what does "In Faud We Trust!" Have to look forward to in 2007

QB
Roethlisberger
Leftwich . . . . errrrrr Jason Campbell (Thanks Del Rio, I would not like to ask you do your best impression of the City of San Diego and go . . . .)

RB
Gore
J. Lewis
L. Betts
D. Rhodes (He will be very rested come Week 6)

WR
Harrison
T.J. Whoseyourdaddy
Evans
Stallworth
Hackett
K. Curtis
Hackett
Hard Hittin' Mark Witten

DEF

Oh Carolina, jump across

K

Mike "Not the Motor City Dumbass" Nugent

Let's see I have had to already release a QB. My top back is coming off a broken hand, one plays for the Browns, one may not be the starter depending on the health of Southside Jerome and one who suspended. I took way too many Wideout's. So I feel very confident about this season.

Right now I am trying to fine tune my NFL picks for 2007. I work hard on these things, so you will all have something to laugh and mock me about. Tomorrow more football that counts will be at hand. Let see what we have, in a sea of cupcakes will there be anything entertaining or shocking? Probably not too many, but let's see what we have:

Folks you heard it hear first.

Idaho will beat USC. Tell your friends and neighbors. I have done a great deal of studying on this game and the numbers I crunched and all I have read and heard lead me to the Vandals beating USC hands down.

They will beat USC off the field at half time and then beat USC to the buses, during halftime to avoid having to come out for a second half Marvis Frazier beating.

USC 35(-46) Idaho 0 Now if Idaho does sticks around for the 2nd half then it will be USC 73 Idaho 3

Wisconsin (-14) 23 Wash St 16 I think this one will be closer than expected

Arizona 28 BYU 26 - The Cats steal one at Provo

G.T. (+1) 23 Notre Dame 10 It is going to be a long year at South Bend. As long as Charlies Wies' litigation.

Mizzu (-4.5) 31 Illinois 20 - Tigers could be the surprise of the Big 12 North Division

Georgia 27 Oklahoma State 19 Cowboys get trimmed like the hedges at Athens

B.C.(-6) 31 Wake Forest 14 The Deacons come back to earth

Miami (-17) 48 Marshall, Marshall, Marshall 20

My Eric Upset Special

The Orange 20 Huskies 13

UCLA (-16.5) 23 Stanford 10 The Cardinal will cover because the Bruins O will still be a question mark, and Harabaugh finds out that this ain't D.III anymore

GAME OF THE WEEKEND

Cal (-6) 46 Tenn 23 Even as much as this pains me because this make the MIL in the Bay Area happy. The Bears are good and they will have the jug blowers on the ropes and exact some revenge. Making Fulmer feel like me and the Better Half did last year at this time while in the Bay Area.

Okay I am rolling out, I am off to go back to the sweat lodge that is my home. We live close to the ocean and we really don't need AC, expect for about a week or two. Well it happens to be in the middle of those two weeks.

But before a shove off.

Hey Time Blair Warner Is A Bitch Project Cable, you think by giving me ESPNU that this makes things square. HORSESHIT. You know what you have to do, so do it! Also we are not paying good money to have a crappy signal. You have already replaced the box and cable and our problem has returned. Time to time when we try to Tivo something there are points it craps out and is unwatchable. We checked the Tivo Box and it works, and how dare you speak ill of Tivo!

Look Time John Warner Retiring Cable you not only have me to worry about. The Better Half is as close as I am to storming your offices. You messed with her "So You Think You Can Dance" one too many times. But you probably don't care Stalin Warner Cable Gulag you just love counting your money, but I know you have issues. You think you can give me the song and dance that you cable service don't stink. But you A-holes can't keep up with demand because you are beyond capacity. And for your F'up that you are not going to really fix any time soone, we all pay. Why don't let me pick the channels I want and pay for that? No you can't do that because it may actually make the customers happy. Also it screw with your fleecing of your subscribers. I know you have to have your solid gold rocket cars and fund those trips to Bangok to do lord knows what.

Not to go off on too much of a tangent speaking of fleecing I found this article about what is being done with out tax dollars in Iraq. Even though it will not come as surprised to anyone, I still ask you not read it near anything you value. (thanks Crooks and Liars for pointing me to Rolling Stone, who knew they were still doing something relevant)

Okay you have all suffered enough today. Have a great Labor Day.

So Do You Think Boski Is Ready For Some football?

2007-08-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, oh dear god yes. I can not get here soon enough.

If College Football was not starting this weekend I would need Animal Control to put me down since I would be feral.

Ever since June I have been reading what ever I could get my grubby little hands on glorious football. You name it: pro, college, betting and fantasy.

Here is a list of what I have read. To show you why the NFL should have a restraining order out on me and how shallow my life is:

Pro Football Weekly - NFL Preview & the Summer issues of Pro Football Weekly

SportingNews - NFL, College & Fantasy Previews

2007 Pro Football Prospectus & paying for it Player Projection Program

Athlon's NFL & College Previews

The Goldsheet College and Pro Preview

The Marc Lawrence Playbook - Football Handicappers Yearbook

Lindy's NFL Preview

Phil Steele College Preview, all 6 of the regional preview Mags and Pro Football (which I got for free, I should have gotten it for the money I laid out)

Street & Smith Pro Football Preview (the only one that has a CFL preview, so go heavy on the Argos this season)

So all in all I have laid out probably about $200 bucks. Yes, I am a loser. I just can help myself. I love collecting these things I have been doing this for a while. I have some going back to '89. When I finally got a grown-up job in '96 it became an addiction.

Secondly, I have always wanted to see if I could be football handicapabler instead of just a dude who gets park really close to things. For all the gambling stuff I look at, I don't do a lot of betting. Other than $5 a week office pool and a couple of squares at the Super Bowl, the last bet I made on a football game was September of last year. I know I have droned on about it in the past, but this fascinates me to no end. I have never had a desire to bet other sports, well except for Snooker and Monster Trucks. Hey if I am in Vegas I'll throw something on whatever going, but betting the Hawks to beat the Nets by 4 on a Tuesday in February holds no allure.

Coming Up:

The E! True Hollywood Story: The Great Spacecoaster

Here's a preview:

"Just as things seem to be going great, Gary Gnu was tumbling into $10,000 a week, hooker and blow binge that he thought it would last forever, or till Thursday. Sadly Gary's love of the White Lady and Ladies of the Night came all crashing down when Gary was arrested in Guam after using his shrimp fork to eat soup while driving. The authorities found .02% blood in his cocaine, but the cops and the world was rocked when they opened the trunk of his Suzuki Sidekick. hookers midget jugglers, alpaca's, Rollo's and Dick Cavet in drag.....

Today at lunch I had some Cuban Rice but . . .

2007-08-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

it tasted more like Guantanamo Rice.

You Jerk, you just jinxed it!

2007-08-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

L.A. in 1,000-year Earthquake Lull.

(Thanks or no thanks to Livescience.com via Yahoo News)

I read this and I feel that this is like talking about a no-hitter around the 5th inning.

Livescence.com I will come for you, if I survive!

So I wonder how the "No Child Left Behind" is working out?

2007-08-27T12:49:00.001-07:00

Congrats Ms. South Carolina, you just made Jessica Simpson look like a Steven Hawking. Again I ask, did the Union really need to bring South Carolina back to the Union?

EAT IT GONZO!

2007-08-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

So long you torture approving, domestic spying, political firing, obstructionist, douche bottle.

Please let the door hit your dumb ass on the way out.

Glad to see it but it looks like our next AG will be Micheal "The Gut" Chertoff. And as we can see with his stellar work with Homeland Security, we can expect more great Bush B.S.

Suite and Sour

2007-08-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

I know I have not been chatting about baseball of late.

As a White Sox fan this weekend may be a low point. A point I have not seen since the late 80's. Which were the Dark Ages. Just imagine the world of Theodoric of York. This weekend is being swept by the Cubs bad, but the Red Sox treated us baby harp seals. I think Mr. Tobin puts it best with his recap. (Bugs and Cranks)

But things with baseball have not been a total loss of late.

Tuesday, thanks to my wife, we enjoyed the Anaheim Angels of Los Feliz, by way of Long Beach beat the tar out of the Yankees. The Better Half was beat from work, so we took off before watching Garrett Anderson collect his 10th RBI. But we enjoyed chilling in a Suite, at the Big A of Burbank.

Now I have been fortunate to have watch a NBA game from a Suite. Sadly that was Donald Sterling's Suite at the old Sports Arena which was great, if it was still the 60's and if one liked being as far away from the floor as possible.

I have been in one for a football game, which was alright, but since it was in San Diego I could not enjoy it. One being it was the Chargers, and two was spending most of the 2nd half worrying about when we need to go, so we would not be stuck in the parking lot at the Murph for days. I am sure there are worse parking situation at other stadiums, but San Diego has to be in the top 10. I mean I had trouble getting out of there for Padres game during the Fire Sale years.

Until this past week I had not done it at baseball game. Well that is not entirely true. I have eaten Prime Rib at the Dodgers Stadium Club for a game, which was surreal. And then there was the suites at the Big A. A friend of mine's dad company had a suite for one season, but they never returned the keys. And as we would find out they did not change the locks. So one Sunday afternoon during a Blue Jays/Angels tilt, we ventured to see if it would work. So we snuck to the club level (Oh the days of ticket upgrading, when it use to be a subtle art) Then a couple of us snuck into the section to see if there was anyone in the suite. After our recon, we tried the lock and we were in. Alright this is great we in a suite this is awesome and we are going to live large. Then it hit us. As we rummaged through the suite we realized that it was nearly bare. We did find something. We found condiments. No food, no drink, just condiments. And since we were all broke it began to take a shine off the suite. But we pooled our cash and got popcorn, which was to use on the condiments. A barbaric practice, I know and one I could not be a part of. I am still a little queasy thinking about relish on popcorn. The other item that made the suite more Sweet & Low was the level of paranoia we had that we were going to be rousted. So anytime there was a sound at the door we were all looking for cover like a Bush Appointee when asked a direct question. Thankfully we did not get caught.

We did try it one more time and it was pretty much the same as the first, well expect for the popcorn. We grew tired of it and realized that we should be with the people. Also they finally changed the lock. Even though it was not as cool as we hoped it was still fun since it was like the forbidden doughnut.

All of this leads me to Saturday Night where my wonderful wife obtained tickets for another suite and we were able to find friends and it was a great experience. Even thought the Suite was in the left field corner, it was still a great view of the field. We had decent food and plenty of drink. I got to catch up with some friend and repay others who have scored me tickets in the past. It was nice sitting in AC comfort, eating taquitos, watching the NFL Network, and talking sports with friends. You could not ask for more, you could but they are very strict about shooting fireworks from the suites.

I now have to get back to work and try to forget about the mess that is Chicago White Sox Baseball.

Yo Bullwinkle . . .

2007-08-23T17:07:00.001-07:00

Drop the Lucky Lager!

Moose belching causing Global Warming! Great, so now I have to worry if Marty Moose from the Getalong Gang starts doing keg stands.

Mad!

The world has gone mad I tell you.

What's next? Juvenile delinquents are pelting the elderly with pork products.

Wait a second, sadly I do live in that world.

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

2007-08-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

Bush in Vietnam warning over Iraq. (BBC)

Hey dumb ass are you kidding me?

Look if you going to make analogies about Iraq, don't bring up a war you and Dark Lord Cheney both ducked. Stick to analogies you know like how you almost gave up on trying to find Waldo or almost quitting to find a keg for a frat party. Also didn't you say that when asked about comparison to Vietnam you thought the analogy was "wrong" and sends the "wrong message to the troops and our enemies". (Daily Kos) And don't get me started on Fourth Branch and his apparent flip-flop on going into Iraq.

I can not believe they are actually going to try to run this up the flag pole. I am sorry if you are someone who falls for this then you need to be eaten by pumas. Don't even try the whole Domino Theory bullshit or that our leaving will lead to millions of deaths like what happened in Cambodia. Bad ANALOGY! And no I am not for the deaths of anyone. The death I supported was Disco. No matter what happens things are a mess, by staying we maybe making it even worse and possibly lead to tens of millions of deaths.

Back to the Cambodia analogy. Cambodia went south because of our handy work. If Nixon had not screwed the pooch by violating Cambodia's neutrality and then overthrowing Sihanouk with Lon Nol, which lead to the Khmer Rouge and Asshole #1 Po Pot. The Killing Fields were finally stop by, surprise united the newly united Vietnam. And if you even think I support the communist government of Vietnam, or that I am happy the U.S. lost 58,000 men along with millions who died in the conflict then go F yourself.

Look I know getting out of Iraq is going to be a bitch. We have to at least draw down to a level to provide counter-insurgence support and then if they can't fix shit, get out. Redeploy back to Kuwait and Qatar and then try to mend some fences.

Look President Assclam, we are check and getting close to checkmate in Iraq because you sacrificed the queen, a bishop and both rooks for what?(Like the Chess references, makes me sound smarter) Probably for a couple pawns because they looked cool. Statesmanship is chess and you F&%$ers are playing at Checkers. To make things worse is that before the game is over you are looking for the next chess game. Let's see Afghanistan was first and it looks like things are going great. So then it was on to Iraq which is now just a slice of heaven, or like Indiana as on GOP goon spewed out (if Iraq is like Indiana then I never plan to go to the Hoosier state ever). So we should expect Iran is soon, which some are hoping for. (Think Progress)

But you know Mr. Bush I would have to say this photo sums you up.

Thanks to Crooks and Liars

Okay enough out of me. I apologize if this makes no sense.

I think I more excited about this than I should be...

2007-08-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

someone brought in Ginger Ale for our office lunch.

I know, I know, how am I even able to dress myself and even function? I ask that about myself many a day.

You see Ginger Ale is one of things you have on special occasion, or if your traveling. Sure it around and I could pick up at the store, but I always forget about it until someone brings it up. I think 4 of the last 5 times I have had Ginger Ale, it was on a plane. The fifth was at a wedding.

So to me it is the soft drink equivalent to an assembly day at school.

Spider Pig, Spider Pig

2007-08-22T10:24:00.001-07:00

Sorry everyone this is still running through my head, so I have decided to try to infect your brains as well.

Enjoy.

Check that off the list.

2007-08-21T15:07:00.001-07:00

Finally went and saw the Simpson's Movie this last weekend. I have the heat to blame for it.

I enjoyed it, no surprise. What surprised me was how adult they went on some of the humor. Not that I did not find it funny, but just surprising. I was also surprised on the lack of cameos. Never the less it was worth it even though I think Hans Moleman did not get enough screen time, but I was happy to see Hollis Hurlbut get over a serious case of Jebeditis. I won't ruin it for you but Homer is Charles Kane's sled. True.

So if you have not seen it and you enjoy the Simpson's, then go see it. If you don't enjoy the Simpson's then you are on my list . . . just kidding then you should go see anything, except the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Seriously Jason Lee, you are making money now. You do not have to take everything they offer. Now if you want to see the movie, but you have been forbidden to see it by your father. Then I advise you to avoid trying to read the Mortimer Adler's novel the movie is based on. You will just have to wait 40 years and become a Supreme Court Justice, mmmmm Warren Burger mmmmmmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!

My New Cause.

2007-08-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

People, please do not feed the ducks.

Seriously.

Read the goddamn signs. Don't feed them. Sure it looks cool and hell I used to do it. I thought it was helping them out, but you know it doesn't. It leads to avian botulism and sick birds might be a health hazard, but hey the bird flu is irrelevant right?

Also feeding ducks at a park hurts them. It makes them become dependent on people for food and the lose the desire to seek food which leads them to not migrate. At this point you now f'ing with nature.

But it's not the aholes who are too dumb to read the sign or those who can't read it due to the language barrier that really piss me off. What gets me are the vigilante feeders. These people are the worst and the most dangerous. We have encountered a couple of these folks who feel that it is there responsibility to take care of the birds.

Backstory on how I got to this point.

A couple of months back the park had some Egyptian Goslings hatch. There were 7 goslings and a duck who they adopted. Very cute I have pictures, I will need to bring them in, but I am digressing. As these geese grew there were people who showed up and were feeding them grain. Which is also a no-no. Animal Control wants you not to feed them anything. The reason being, they do not eat grain, they eat grass, bugs and other things found in nature. Along with not wanting to migrate, the other problem is if you feed them they lose their fear of people and that's when bad shit happens. How do I know there is a problem. Well the other morning we had a white duck follow us through the park on foot. When we stopped and were looking about the duck was right at our feet. The duck then tried to nibble my shoe, twice. That folks in not right.

So to the old man and his bike who has tracked these birds across to other parks. All of your justifications still does not make it right. If there is a problem call the city or county to fix it, or let the birds figure it out. If there is not food then they need to leave and find it. So take your bike and the boots you use to waddle in the lake to put out food and fix their nest and shove it up your old ass.

To the woman in the brown Toyota 82 Celica you can go F yourself. You are the worst. Yes I am talking to you "Mrs. I Volunteer at an Animal Shelter, so I Know More Than You". Just because you life is empty, it does not mean you have to do something harmful to the animals you think you are helping. If you did work at a shelter they would tell you the same. Oh but I am wrong and so is Animal Control, and Fish & Game. Those assholes don't know anything, how could we challenge you oh wise one. Oh wait you're driving a Toyota from the 80's. Which tells me you have not made great life choices, so please as the poet Ice Cube once opined "check yo'self before you wreck yo'self". Also I have not forgotten you yelling "Go to Hell" at us a month ago when we brought this up. Just remember the "road to Hell is paved with good intentions", so shut up and get back to your macrame owl and leave us all alone.

Hey while on a tirade about the park I have some more people to point out and direct my scorn at:

To the kids that chase the birds around or pull out crawdads and thrown them. Stop it you crap eating punks. Would you like it if I came to your home and chased you around with a wiffle ball bat with pennies in it. You wouldn't, even though I would enjoy the hell out of it. Every time I see the kids chase them I pray that they will fall into the lake. Sure some do it out of excitement and they don't mean any harm, and I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Now for the brats that do it because they just little hooligans, I hope birds crap on you for many a moon.

Parents of these kids. Hey keep an eye out on your kids. Hell put a leash on some of them. Look why should others look out for your kids when you are out. Hey you are parent 24 hours a day till they on their own feet, so parent. Sure I know you can't see their every move and kids will be kids, but come on when your kids are swinging sticks at birds you should do something about other than yell at me for yelling at your kid. Which brings me to. . .

Dog of leash guy/girl. Hey I know your dog is the greatest dog of all time and is as smart as Steven Hawking, and they listen to every command, but they need to be on a leash. And hey don't get pissed at me when I politely say something about it. Hey I am not trying to be a jerk, I am just looking out for the dog. Look the rules are not guidelines or suggestions, they are rules, follow them. Oh, your wonder dog just eat duck shit, good luck with that.

Midnight Natty Light Drinker Who Leave There Cans Laying Around Guy - Hey sounds like fun guys, all I ask is next time if you guys have one of your ragers at the park that you just go into the lake and not come back up. It would help us all greatly.

Okay, I am done with my irrational rage about the park and park etiquette. If I have offended any of you I apologize, except for those who are the basis of this rant. You know who you are. Also I am not one to support violence even toward those who may be deserving of it, but damn it felt good to write it and get out of my system.

Okay back to your business everyone. I have to get back to killing time at work.

Who would you take in a street fight...

2007-08-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

Jack Klugman as Quincy or Norman Fell as Mr. Roeper?

The fate of the free world may depend on this.

Sorry I was away.

2007-08-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08' - Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove - Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell - Sad to see Hell's Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II - I could watch ol' Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare's this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert - I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can't assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking's Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony - I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love - Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain't worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball - Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football - To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden - Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh - A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er's I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

"Red Right Tight--Sprint Right Option"

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson's Movie - I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What's wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis' of Springfield's Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons - I still have not seen the movie yet. What's wrong with me?

Old Yeller - No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis - Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin - You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic's to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was de-Kitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico's boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly - Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

Jimmy Kimmel and the Art of Beating a Joke Into the Ground.

2007-08-06T21:20:00.001-07:00

Good bless you Jimmy and your desire to beat this joke into the ground.

There is something in the air...

2007-08-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

and it's FOOTBALL!

Yeah!

Sure it was only the Hall of Fame Game but it is football none the less. I would have enjoyed it a great deal more, but since it was on that network that those evil people will not let me have you know the rest of the story.

Bacon Bits

2007-08-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

Finely diced bacon, or just fake pork scented shrapnel?

Dear ESPN,

2007-08-03T22:26:00.000-07:00

How are you doing? It has been a long time since we last spoke. Oh I keep tabs on you, but I am worried. It used to be I could be content hanging out with you for hours, hell days on end. Sadly those days are far and few in between. I am glad that you have confidence yourself, but I think you are believing too much of your own hype. Hey you can keep your "World Wide Leader In Sports" title. I know you have already bought the stationary and monogram towels. I just think you have gone over board.

The past few years I have tried to look past your transgression, but this "Whose Now" is just too much. I tried to watch it a couple of weeks back. I had heard about this through Deadspin and through the Petros and Money Show. I knew it was bad, but I did not think it this bad. I would have been better off huffing gas and ramming framing nails into my skull. Which would have done less damage to my brain. Seriously, do I need Stu "Crazy Eye" Scott and the cast of "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" to tell me that Derek Jeter is more now than William Hung. F you ESPN, F you with broom handle in your ass, which I hope breaks and splinters in your ass!

What more do I and maybe many Americans have to suffer through. This is not Extra or Access Hollywood. I want Sports and maybe a human interest story once in a while. Your freaking job is about reporting sports not superseding the sports your are broadcasting. When I watch, I am watching to see the game or to get insight about the games. It seem to me that the sports seem to be getting in the way of you pimping, you! Okay pimping your self and the next Yankees/Red Sox series.

Tonight on Baseball Tonight, how will Friday's batting practice affect the ESPN Sunday Night game Sponored by Crucial.com!

But I have has enough of the BS. The following crap has to stop:

Stu Scott

The caricature that is Chris Berman - Hey Chris, if you bring down Tom Jackson, I will come for you fat man and I will hurt you.

The Firing of Harold Reynolds

The end of Cheap Seats

ESPN the Mag - Stu Scott but in written form

ESPN the Restaurant - OVERRATED!

ESPN the Cell Phone - how do that go?

ESPN the Home Pregnancy Test - If the stick shows Charlie Stiener then your pregnant!

The destruction of ESPN Classic

Enough of the Poker - Jesus H. Christ I am sick of watching classic flops from W.S.O.P. past and present.

The cancellation of Sports On Tap- which was a game show that saw a goofy kid from Orange County try his luck and come up short. Wait maybe this is actually good. People, I going to say that when the red light goes on, you can get dumb in a hurry. One day I will sit down and tell you this tale.

Dick V, I think it's time to put down the pipe and walk away.

Evening at the Improve or as you say SportsCenter - Come on, this use to be the show piece. It was my favorite hour of TV. Got all the scores and tons of highlights and analysis. But then you pushed it. Hey you were witty and I fell in love with some of the catch phrases, but now it just wrong. Look even the "Boom Goes the Dynamite Kid" thinks what you are rolling out is crap.

Hey you can fix this, and you still are doing a couple things right like:

Scott Van Pelt - Craig Kilborn but with humility

ESPN News Ticker - getting scores during commercial breaks is a wonderful thing.

Jeremy Green's football podcast

College Football

Ron Jaworski - I love NFL Edge Match Up, and I hope he does well on Monday.

Hey if you could, bring back Aussie Rule Football. I need me some Essendon vs. Fitzroy, or St. Kilda vs. Carlton

But take me seriously, I have got them Internets (where there are way better rants against you than I could muster) to give me what I want. Maybe one day someone will figure it out and have a channel that challenges you, so in closing I would like to quote the great American Stephen Colbert you are on notice!

Damn You Sir Issac Newton!

2007-08-03T21:57:00.001-07:00

Wow he will feel that in the morning. But when he wakes up he may not remember this and not just from burning th herb.

Daaaammmmnnn the man's shoes flew off.

I know this may be more out there even for me

2007-08-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

but while out with the Better Half it hit me.

I really hated Dinosaurs. No not the reptiles that Carl Everett does not believe in, but the TV series. Not your usual, "wow I find this show awful", but Time Warner hate.

I know. Very strange.

Sorry that my blog entries have been as bountiful as. . .

2007-08-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

. . . Michael Vick endorsement deals.

Seriously folks I hear for the next decade!

I am trying, but I have been busy. I am trying to keep this blog going. The blog has been something that I have done as long as many of the jobs I have held. It is a matter of time and material (hey football is around the corner).

I do promise you this, all three of you, I will keep trying, well at least continue my work on assaulting the English language.

Please enjoy our complementary fudge.

Well I know I will spend these two hours scared.

2007-07-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

Cheney to take reins during Bush medical procedure.

So the president is having a colonoscopy Saturday, so that means two things.

Darth Cheney is legally in charge according to the document that he and the President like to shit on. But that fourth brancher has been in charge all along it's just odd that they are still trying to appear like they are following the Constitution. Wow it makes me long for the days when Al Haig was in charge.

Two, looking at this headline, the jokes just can't write themselves up quick enough. From the sites I have seen today I have seen the usual suspects:

- Which end will they do the colonoscopy
- Will they find his head?
- How will they get Roger Ailes and the rest of the Fox News Channel out of the way?
- Mr. Bush will get to experience a little bit of what he has subjected us all to.
- The procedure may keep the President from speaking for a couple of days.

All very good, but I wonder if Ol' Darth will keep Bush under sedation and tell us that he needs to for national security reason. Darth will inform us that,

"if we allow the doctors to cut and run before the Bush's colon is ready to stand on it's own, it will be disastrous. We need to hear from the Doctors in charge of this colonoscopy surge and review their report. That may be September or October or whenever. When that report is complete it will hopefully show that Mr. Bush's ass has met those Gastrointestinal benchmarks. America has to continue the spread democracy across his colon and intestines, which have always been a cauldron of anger (especially after the President knocks back some chili dogs). The Socialized Medicine Surrenderist will want to just walk away. Even a phased redeployment will not work. It will only allow the Islamopolyps a safe haven in which to launch further attacks and that he has it on good intelligence that these polyps were seen in Prague talking to Iraq Intelligence."

(Please send your virtual tomatoes and lettuce to my comments, thanks)

I really should not be worried about Darth, I mean what could he do in two hours. . . oh wait just thought about it and I am really worried. That bastard could could get into a whole mess of trouble.

They so stole this idea from the Wire.

2007-07-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

Baltimore mayor replaces police chief.

They probably passed over Daniels again, bastards.

I see the problem. . .

2007-07-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

you have the oven set to evil.

Those were oven's that if the secret ingredient is love, then it's a love that requires a restraining order.

Hey parents just play it safe and get your kids something they will love.

Log - from Blammo

What rolls down stairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog.

What's great for a snack
And fits on your back
It's log, log, log!

It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's better than bad, it's good.

Everyone wants a log,
You're gonna love it, log
Come on and get your log,
Everyone needs a log...

I just heard the stangest thing.

2007-07-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

I heard two people on a news show debating a serious topic without yelling at each other. I have heard about this before but I thought it was a myth. I have heard the locals say that NPR has this sort of thing. Hmmmmm, interesting.

Oh that wacky BBC, what will they think of next.

Much Blogging ...

2007-07-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

and very little work. About 40% of my work today was turning on the computer.

That is how today has been.

I feel quite Haliburtonish today.

Beckham arrives and he's

2007-07-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

brought his dim witted robot wife (I thought robots were supposed to be smart, but David is not the sharpest tool himself so it makes sense)

and he helping a pyramid scheme

What is Becks going to be rolling around in his Bentley with a "Ask Me About Herbalife" bumper sticker?

I think not.

Seriously, did Herbalife beat out Amway for this spot? Also where does Herbalife have that kind of scratch? I thought they needed that cash to stay ahead of the Feds? And fighting lawsuits ain't cheap kids.

I wish David well and I hope this helps American soccer, even though I still can't get into it. I am sticking with the EPL till further notice. The man is not the best footballer to walk on the pitch but he is amazing at what he does and he seems to be marketing gold.

Even though I am soccer novice, I do know that from what I have seen of Becks in the past it is special. I know this man is fantastic delivering the ball to others. I mean some of the long balls he strike are amazing. He is hitting guys 40 yards up field, in stride, right at their feet. He is one of the best at delivering the ball from a set piece. Penalties, Corners Free kicks, he lethal. The guy has been really trying to show he's a 90 minute player. He made a nice little run with Real Madrid this past season, but he not a complete player. So for those expecting something just remember he's no Pele. The biggest problem is not Beckham is will the Galaxy actually have people who can finish. If they don't then it will be a huge waste.

I just hope this does not become George Best II Electric Bugaloo. But every time I see him I will have to spit on the ground in anger. Because all that money could have been better sent on the Kings. Instead I have a team that maybe years away from the playoff while the Anaheim F%$#'s win the Cup. And no I am not getting over this anytime soon, so get used to me beating this into the ground.

Yesterday someone gave me the finger.

2007-07-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

That someone was Bush. In fact he gave us all the finger again yesterday at his press conference.

That America was a big FU to everyone, well accept that 20% that still are delusionaly behind this jackass piloting this country.

I wish he would just come out and say, "hey, I going to do whatever the hell I want since I do not care about any of you or the law of the land". I would be pissed but I would actually respect him for being honest for once.

All I can do is go on another profanity laced tirade, probably because I am suffering from war fatigue and I should get behind the surge since the insurgency is in it's last throws, so I will let someone with more skill go over the B.S. that was just pouring out of that soup cooler of his. (Thanks Crooks and Liars, please go over and enjoy the site, but read at your own risk since you will want punch or smash things afterwards).

I am sorry Mr. Bush has gone from an mind numbingly inept to down right dangerous. Nothing is more dangerous than someone who has nothing to lose and has no care for the consequences.

Post Script - Since it looks like things are going poorly it looks like the White House and Neocons are pulling out the same old tactics again. Either by using scare tactics or release bad news on Friday to make us take focus off the White Houses nonsense.

This time it looks like those guys and that organization that attacked us back in 2001 are back to pre-9/11 levels. How could this be since we removed Saddam and we so close finding Osama? I have no clue why. It could not be because i al-Qaeda has set up a great Club Med resort along the Pakistan/Afghanistan boarder. Well I should just blame the Clinton's, Pro-Choice supporters and the gays. They have all held us back. The whole item about Rummy calling off an attack in 2004 along the Pakistan boarder must be false. Hilary must be behind it since al-Qaeda where partners in the Whitewater affair.

So we find out about the new and improved al-Qaeda, just right after hearing they could be planning an attack this summer. An attack that was brought to our attention thanks to the bile duct of a bile Bush cronie. Hey FU Chertoff and your gut you hunch driven clown (Thanks C & L and Keith Olbermann)!

Don't even get me started on health care. I need to go see Sicko, I am curious to see what Micheal has to say.

Okay, the anger is out of my system for now.

The Iraqi government has not meet many of its goals and

Right now what he is doing to this country is tanamount to this. It the money after and he is not going to respect us, or call us back. He has also taken money our of our wallets, made a sandwich (which he did not clean up after) and then pissed all over the sink.

Sorry for the delay.

2007-07-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am trying to come back down from the emotional roller coaster that was the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. What an epic display by those gastrointestinal gladiators. It is a moment of such historical proportions that years down the road we all remember with crystal clarity where we all where.

I was sitting in air conditioned blissed at the Caliente Tropics Palm Springs Resort.

Had a good time just lounging at the pool and vegging in the room over the 4th and 5th.

Like the Thrilla in Manila or the Brawl in Montreal, this Choleric Clash at Coney is the stuff of dreams, or nightmares. So Mr. Chestnut joins a 1,500 pound bear in a very exclusive club, but not a Club Sandwich, since it would be eaten. They are the only two beings to beat Kobayashi in open competition.

Sadly I was pulling for Kobayashi, yes I am an awful American, must be because I do not support Bush. Hey I thought this could be his last time and I wanted to see him go out like Jordan part II. Pushing off Chestnut like he was Bryon Russell and sinking that last dog. But I am happy to see that mustard belt back in the good ol' US of A and that Jimmy did it against the best. I however was not happy to see that reversal of fortune at the end of the contest. EEEEWWWWWWWWW!

But again it was a pleasant holiday trip. That evening we watched a nice little fireworks display. We were smart and instead of spending hours in the heat and amongst the masses. We drove and found a parking lot where a couple of other people had gathered to watch the show. So we got to view it from the comfort our car. We kicked back and cranked up the Classic Rock and enjoyed. Just as the Simpson's showed us that every Airshow has to play "Rock You Like A Hurricane" you must watch firework accompanied by Classic Rock. It does not matter if you like the genre or not, it is law. That's is not only because it's probably in most city, state and federal statutes, but it is also may an empirical law.

Since coming back I have just been plugging along at work. As you can all tell that it has been busy since I have not blogged. Even though it is Friday and I am burnt out I have to make at least a half hearted attempt at working.

Have a Happy Fourth of July everyone!

2007-07-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am wrapping up work and I am off for the cool environs of Palm Springs. Yep, 115 tomorrow. But the Better Half and I are going to get away from the asshats who are laughing ordnance that could be used in Iraq. We are going to do some lounging, some reading and some swimming with the Old People.

Hey speaking of the 4th, what is it with White Trash, Fireworks and alcohol? It like the holy trinity. Throw in a NASCAR race and forget it. Look I love seeing things go boom, but if I want to see a big boom, I will go watch the pros do it. I not up to watching cousin Jethro all lubed up on Natty Lights and Smirnoff Ice gluing M-80's, he got illegally from Mexico, to a tree. Hey I will wait till the next day and watch them blow each other up on YouTube. Hell, I personally would be okay if this year at least in California we passed on the fireworks. Considering how dry it has been I not up for tempting fate. The up coming fire season because it is going to be a big bitch. I think it will be one that's going to make what happened in San Diego county a couple months back look like a campfire. But the it is the 4th and if you want fireworks, go watch them.

Knowing is half the battle. . . .

So go forth and be merry, Throw that meat on to the grill, relax and please remember what it means to be free and American. Also think about how after this holiday we all need to work to help keep this country that way by telling the asshats we are not going to put up with BS. That the government no matter if there is a R, a D, or what ever the F Joe Lieberman is going with. Dude you are batshit crazy and we don't need you telling us we have to go after Iran. (Crooks and Liars) I know this sounds naive, but until the Constitution is officially thrown out they work for the people and it is their sworn duty to serve and protects it's citizens.

Even though there are days it is tough, I am and will always be proud to be American. That I will be disgusted with my countries action only because it can and should do better. We don't have to rule to the world, but we should play a better part in it to make it better for everyone.

Okay I am now done, go you rascals go and enjoy your holiday.

Post Scrpit

2007-07-03T16:01:00.000-07:00

I am still steamed about yesterdays actions which if you go on the politico sites will make you ponder finding a rifle and a tower.

It was bad enough that Time Warner called and said they felt bad.

There is no bottom.

2007-07-02T15:46:00.000-07:00

It just keeps getting worse.

Bush commutes Libby prison sentence!

Kids please leave the room.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK FUKIN' FUCKTARD FUCKING MOTHER FUCKERS!

It will take me many a lifetime to dream up the a broomstick that I need to deal with shenanigans! Ah fuck I am too mad to even try to come up with anything witty to put to this. WHAT THE FUCK?

So Little Scooter get his reward for his loyalty. It is already being spun that this is Bush coming to a way of trying appease both side. But you know that is horseshit. Don't give me this well it is his first offense bullshit. So I can fucking drop a dime on a CIA agent if its my first offense. I do that I am at Gitmo getting the Mitt Romey's Dog treatment as I wait to meet old Sparky in Texas. Oh but he not getting scot free Boski. He is still a felony and he will need to pay that fine. Like fucking hell he is paying that $250,000, Haliburton will cover that if they even pay it. Oh sure Scooter Libby is going to be broken hearted that he can't get a gun or vote. He and Paris Hilton can have an fucking pity party!

Fuck, fuck to the 1,000 power. This is so fucking bullshit I can't even fathom it. Part of me wants to be resigned to it since I should be used to it since Bush, the Darth Lord and the Bush cronies have lied, cheated and stole and lead this country down a shitty road. Hell it could get worse, Bush could set everything up in flames by attacking Iran, destroy the economy and piss off the Russians who still have nukes. Good times, Good Fucking Times!

Great, fucking great. What a fantastic way to get ready for Independence day. The next time some Neocon, or a Dittoheads gives you BS about about how great Bush is, or that Dems are in bed with Osama, or tells you that you are going to enter a "no spin zone", just punch. Keep punching them. Punch them in their fucking filthy pieholes, till those chicklets hit the floor. I hate violence and it won't settle anything, but I am steamed.

Please forgive me for this fucking potty mouth fucking tirade but before I go

"Hey Bush, Cheney, Fox News, Rush and the rest of you. Go fuck yourself. Hey go ram a lighted Roman Candle up your ass you fucking asshats!"

Again sorry for the salty language.