Boski's Blogopoluza!

Boski - to spill something on yourself at the office that will make you look foolish all day and cause you to have to replace that article of clothing.

Today I Boski'ed myself at the copier, and got toner all over my pants. Now my khaki pants look like they are apart of the Dockers Black Lung Miners Khaki's.

Now as I walk around my shame is on display for all my peers. Oh how I love to answer the question, "What happened?"

Well me being dumb is what happened, now leave me be.

Great move dumb ass, great freaking move.

Well, I am just trying to dig out of mound of work I missed while being at an off site workshop.

It was an uneventful field trip. I had to drive out to a hospital in San Bernadino for said workshop.

This little sojourn only sucked on a couple of fronts:

It was in San Bernadino.

It was in San Bernadino in August.

Having to take and hour and a half to drive to San Bernadino.

It was stupid hot and when I got to the hospital I could not find any covered parking so getting into the car that was baking from 9AM was a joy.

Had to fight myself when I got to the I-15 Interchange not to want to say "F it I am off to Vegas". Had to repeat at the 215 Interchange as well.

Did I mention it was in San Bernadino?

(Note I would like to take the time to apologize to any or all of you who make the Inland Empire your home for my elitist attitude. Look I mean no harm and I know that things can't be as horrible as I make it since I have not lived there, but since I am not going to take up meth, grow a mullet or get a SeaDoo, I will never know.)

On the plus side:

My work day was done at 3:00 PM

Sure the material discussed was a bit dry, but it not a total waste of time. Interesting to hear from people at different hospitals.

&

I got to drive the BMW, which made the not taking the I-15 North even tougher. I could have been in Vegas by Noon damn it. Never the less I had a good time driving that car.


So there is a recap of something all of you could care less about.

I think I have a case of the Monday's. Well it does not help it was damn ass hot while working in the yard. I am now fighting with a toilet in the house, and it may get to hand to hand combat. And to top it the White Sox lost 2 out of three to the Constitutional Monarchs including a Sunday free-for-all. A loss that is going to sting in a couple of ways. One, that loss lead to the Sox slipping out of first, and a possibility of a long suspension of Ozzie Guillen because of this gem. (Yahoo Sports) Hey, you have to appreciate his honesty.

Tom's of Maine Deodorant.

I had read it that it was good and since it is natural it can't hurt. Sadly it has not been really working for me and my sweaty self as I plug away in my sauna err my cube. But then it may be like climbing Everest in flip flops. Now I don't reek but I am not ready to run around my office with my arms up.

and very little work. About 40% of my work today was turning on the computer.

That is how today has been.

I feel quite Haliburtonish today.

Hello everyone, sorry the blog has been sub-standard of late. It has been nuts here at the hospital, but I always seem to be saying that.

I know everyone thinks today is just Valentines Day, but you are wrong. It is the birthday of this spectacular human being.

Go stop by and wish him well.

Along with that I hope everyone has a nice Valentines Day.

I should have seen it coming. There I was crowing how I can now injure or maim myself. Well little did I know I would have to put my new benefits into action. Tuesday morning after a crappy night of sleep when I got out of my car to go into the office, I was mugged and assaulted by the flu, that bastard. Man I felt sore, cold so in a word awful. I tired to get through a the day at work but thankfully I was ordered home. Thankfully it was only the flu, I was worried I had been struck down by Pro-Bowl Fever, hey it's catching.

So since that Tuesday I have been trying to recover from that viral ass beating. So today with they help of the love of my wonderful wife and powerful antibiotics I can see colors again. So I hope to be back blogging with my usual nonsense.

Break out the sharp objects and firearms, I officially have health coverage again!

To quote from the Mark Harmon seminal work (outside his performance on the Battle of The Network Stars) Summer School,

"Enough of the safe and sane crap, it is time to get dumb and dangerous!"


WHOOOHOOOO!

Excuse me I have to go run with scissors!

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

- I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

- I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.


- I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.


- What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.


- So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.


- Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.


- So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

- Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

- Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.


- I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.


- A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.


- Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.


- Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.


- Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

- Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?


- Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?


- Poor Barbaro.

- Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?


- Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

- Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

- Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.


- Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

- I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!


- Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

- Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News' of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

- Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

- Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that's right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!


- Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.


- Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

- As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

- Even though I don't watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.


Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.

Wow another busy week has ended and I am crispy right now. I have been training someone on my old job. A position I barley under myself. All the while trying to keep that said job from bursting into flames. Which has kept me from doing the work for the position I just got put into. Added bonus this week, everyone has been sick, so I have had to do most of it without a net. Which means there will be lots of crying and finger pointing in the near future.

To show you how done I am this week, I can't even give you a half hearted attempt to make some really unfunny obscure and arcane reference, not even something about the Treaty of Westphalia.

Mmmmmmm, the birth of the Nation-State arrrrrrrruuuuuuuwwwwwgggggghhhhhhh. Oh where was I, oh I remember now.

Have a good weekend everyone.

The work week is done and I am ready for two days off, oh wait I almost forgot. I have to come in tomorrow.

Yeah!

Don't blame me, blame the guy who cut the power line to my office. Nice job commodore. Because of that gaffe, I have been able to play hooky. In fact I was able to see the Better Half for lunch and I got some shopping done. So it has not been all bad.

Was it really 35 years ago on a rainy Monday morning that I showed up?

35 is one of the milestone dates. I don't dread getting older, the only problem I have is just my knees seem to be more like 70, well maybe 75. I think back on 30 and I think wow. 2001, I had just been laid off, second time that year, a week before my birthday. Which was really nice since we were struggling to make the mortgage. So I felt totally lost at the time, and feeling like a complete loser. But I was a loser who could run 3 to 5 miles.

No real festivities today since it is a busy day for me at the old hospital. I have a dumb meeting that I have to attend, which keeps me from fleeing the hospital for lunch. I don't have really anything planned other than dinner with the wife. But Sunday was my time with the family and that is when I so scored (too bad the Broncos didn't Sunday):

Family Guy Season 3 and 4 (Freaking Sweet!)
Chicks Sporting Good Gift Card (Mmmmm UnderArmor)
Del Taco Gift Certificates (A long story)
Madden 07, (A total shock)
An Autographed Champ Bailey Football (Nice!)
2005 White Sox World Series DVD Set (I can and probably will play these over and over again)

God bless their hearts and god bless birthdays close to Christmas.

So add that with Friday at the Park, and that makes for a great weekend.

Where has the week gone. Well for me the weekend starts at 5. The Better Half is taking me for our annual ditch day to Disneyland. We have been doing this since '99. We still have people who can get us in so we go. In my tour of duty I always liked the park at Christmas time. It was tough to get mad even when guest would yell at me because I would not let their 30 inch child ride a roller coaster with a 40 inch height requirement. Or I didn't even mind when I would try to group French guests on to a train at Big Thunder, where I would ask how many? And they would yell, "We are French!"

So I am going to ride some rides, people watch, and enjoy some time with my wife. And that is how this busy weekend starts

Saturday I must venture up to Malibu. Team Boski is going out for a friend's graduation from Pepperdine. It is our second consecutive Saturday in that part of the world. Last Saturday we enjoyed the beauty of the Getty Villa. Even though I could have had a ticket to see the glorious defeat of the USC Trojans by the Bruins (It looks like USC can still get to Glendale, now they just can get on the 110 to the 5). Being at the Villa was more than worth it. Also I should have known that UCLA was going to win, since one of the rooms was devoted to Iliad and the Odyssey. Stupid Trojans, you lost because you fell for the old wooden horse trick. Everything at the Villa was just amazing. Even though my wish is to one day walk among the real ruins, I can be happy with what I saw. All I can say to all of you is go. Even if you have been to the real thing, go.

Sorry folks that is just the history nerd in me.

As for Sunday, it is up to stately Boski Manor for dinner with the family.

Well I have to get ready to get out of here, so everyone have a great weekend.

I am employed, I am employed!

I have gone from feeling like Jake Plummer to Jay Cutler.

Okay, I am almost employed, it is just a physical and background check away from the being the a freshly minted PI Specialist for Quality Management. So right now I must remind myself that the night before/day of that physical that it would not be the best time for NyQuil daiquiris and Poppy Seed muffins. As for the background check I hope they do not find out that I provided Scott Baio with the "Clear", so he could set the record for the Obstacle Course on Battle of the Network Stars, or that I was the Mole.

Wow I kinda feel like Pinocchio but without having to deal with the creepy old guy who says he makes toys. I feel like I have gone from Jake Plummer on the way out, to Jay Cutler and on my way in. Like Cutler, my performance may be like that of a rookie QB. I am hoping it will be more Marino and Big Ben than Akili Smith and Ryan Leaf.

Since they told me that I would have to interview for this position, I had been sweating it out. It did not help that the past week and a half, I have been in a really strong, "I am going to kick my own ass for all of my faults" kind of moods. Today felt like it was going to stay on that course. I woke up this morning still in that self-loathing funk. Adding to the misery was I felt like crap when I got into work. I felt like it a cold coming on or maybe just maybe it was Dengue Fever, who can tell these days. Around 11, I noticed my office mates where not around and my supervisor's door was closed. So I did what any good employee would do. I tried to listen in. I heard them mention my name and talking about me, and about what I am doing. I would have heard more but someone was coming, so I had to fain the whole, "I am just deep in thought and not trying to listen it" move. It worked.

So from what I heard, I thought, "nothing gets the Holiday's going like being laid off". Maybe I could still get a gig at a Christmas Tree lot, since there is no dog track near that I could bet on Santa's Little Helper. So, I sat and sulked and plowed through some work. Till around lunch and I just had to get out of the office. When I returned, my supervisor asked me to come into their office. Ah crap, I am going to get punked right here, right now. So I walked in and took a seat. I got the offer for the position, and not the bums rush.

So it took almost 2 years, but I may have health coverage again. Next to me, my dentist will be very happy, I will be able to send his kids and his grand kids through college and grad school now, twice.

I know the weeks ahead will be tough, but I will find a way to excel at this job, blog, watch football and holiday shop to the best of my abilities.

So I want to leave you with these words,

"San Dimas Football Rules"

You get a mint if you know where that is from.

It looks like I will not be locked in the basement anymore.

Yeah!

Sadly, there is a chance that I may not be employed here much longer.

????

I know, I know. But since Friday of last week things have altered some. Now it looks like the job I trained for is not mine any more. In fact they hired someone today. The job I thought I was originally going to fill, is now up for grabs. You see, I had to interview for that position Monday. Now if the key skill needed to obtain the position was sweating like Orson Wells at room temperature then I am in. I did sweat, but the interview went alright I have a lot worse. I think they have to talk to a couple more people. The major advantage I hold is that I have been working here for about a year, and they do not want to really have to train two new people. But them handing me the job is not written in stone, so I sit and wait.

Hey what are the holidays with out stress and anxiety?

Science Fiction.

I should not stress too much, things should workout, but I just needed to get that out.

I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. I may be back with more musing, we shall see.

Today is my first at the shake machine and the trainee hat is off!

So far, no one has been injured or maimed under my watch, but give me time.

Right now I can't get into the computer of the person who I am filling in for, so there are some items I can't get to and that kinda sucks. But I have a call into them and hopefully I will hear from them.

Also today I got something today that I know will sound silly to all of you. They gave me a pager, and I didn't have to sell blow to get it either. The drawback, there was not gum in it. I was hoping it was like my cell phone. Boy I could go for some gum.

But that is what I am up to here at the Hospital.

As for my weekend, not too eventful. The only thing was Sunday when the Boski's almost got a couple cats. But I was not ready for it. Over the past few years I have come the realization that I am a cat person and so is the Better Half. Don't get me wrong I still love dogs, but if I am going to get a pet, it is going to be a cat. But this weekend I could not pull the trigger. I felt shitty about not getting them, but our house is not ready for them and if I am going to be a cat owner, I need to be a responsible one. Also we did not even consult the Adorable Stalker about this.




I worried that he would feel hurt. I know he is just a cat, but look at him. Do you want to hurt his feelings? Yep, that's what I thought.

Well I have to go take a walk and then I have to go back to the mines. Now where is that canary?

When I returned to work for this hospital. I was happy that I was freed from the missile silo-esque subterranean office. I am not one to be kept underground for long periods. But one thing about my new position is that I will spend time in a new basement. But at least it is way nicer than the other one. It also has an element of danger to it. Since where I go is Medical Records I have to pull files off the shelves and since they are motorized I can be crushed. I hope they will hear me when I reenact the Trash Compactor scene from Star Wars. Other than that, I am still scared of the job ahead of me. Good news though, some of the training is actually sticking, so I might pull this off.

Well I have to get back to it.

Remember everyone, nothing helps out a light colored shirt more than the dying embers of your smoothies getting unintentionally splashed on it. It gives you that, hey I came to work looking like a slob look. But it can also give you that hint of, he might have kill someone in his car look as well. Few things will help up move the corporate ladder or win people over like that. Boy I feel like a winner.