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Sadly it is one that sucks.

I have the incredible ability to take any thing with a cord and turn it into a tangled or a knotted mess. It never fails me that even when I trying to wrap it up and wrap it properly it still ends up getting tangled. Be it my I-pod headphones, the hose, the vacum cable you name it I could probably get it tangled up using only the power of my brain.

As you can see it is a superpower that is right up there with:



Really bendy thumb

Ability to calm jittery squirrels

Ability to communicate with corn

Magnetic colon



(Thanks to David Letterman and his wonderful top ten list)



I the ironic thing is I can't tie knots to save my life. Along with this and the ability to make mind numbing arcane references I don't have much else in the Superhero powers department. Now there are a couple I would like. Sure you can have the super strength, ability to fly, blah, blah, blah. I want to be able to have the power to do the following:



Be able to speak with the thickest Irish or Scottish borough humanly possible - I am talking really thick folks. You would need subtitles to understand what I am saying.


Be like Aquaman and be able to use telepathy, but instead of calling all the creatures of the sea, I want the ability to call upon washed up TV actors. So that I could have the likes of Ted McGinley, Betty White, David Fastino, Willie Ames and Bronson Pincho do my bidding. That folks, would be better than the army of cats I am trying to build.

The ability to avoid pledge breaks on NPR - Hey I already gave, leave me alone and let me listen to music.

Making really bad arcane references - Oh wait I do that now, and that not a superpower, it's more like an affliction.


Well that is what my little brain has for right now. Also this post seemed a lot funnier an hour ago. Hey if you have anything better let me know.

1 comments:

Silliyak said...

Personally, I come for the mind numbing but stay for the arcane references. Thanks for all you do.