Boski's Blogopoluza!

That is a question that was probably on the minds of some of the parents at my nephews bounce-house birthday party as I again showed that I am a eight year old. Chasing kids and being chased for a couple of hours. I did show some restraint. I did not go Thunder Dome which the parents would have probably frowned on. But who I am kidding those kids would have beaten the crap out of me and taken my lunch money.

That reminds me, if I had only know as a younger man the racket that is kids parties. I would have gone into that. I would be rolling in the money, well after I had settle those cases involving shooting kids out of a cannon. Sure it would have been bad, but not WKRP dropping turkeys from a helicopter bad. So let us never speak of it again.

Afterwards we did make it to UCLA, sadly and probably thankfully we could not go to Culver City, stupid traffic. But going to Pauley was a blast. You are sitting in history. You look up and you see those banners, it is quite impressive. Speaking of impressive, the Bruins held a ceremony they held at halftime to celebrate the 1967 National Championship team. I know not very interesting to most, but I am a very simple man. A man easily entertained by sports and shinny objects.

Afterwards wandered through Westwood, it had to be a good day since we found parking within 5 minutes.

Sunday was the end of the nephew birthday festival with dinner at my Mom's. It is always fun hanging with the nephews and the family, well almost the whole family. It is a long story and I may one day tell you fine people, but I am not ready to. Let me say because of some family dynamics it makes these celebrations not as fun.

I did not catch much of the Oscars, pissed that our man Dan did not win for Babel, but was happy to see that Forest Whitaker win. It made me wonder, what would have happened if Sean Penn had been up for an Oscar as well. Would he have finally told Forest that he wrecked his bitchin Trans Am because he was blasted, or would he go on and lie that it was the rival high school who trashed his car. So I must ask, did I miss much?

Well I am off to fight traffic and start the weekend. Got a full social calender this weekend. Well actually my nephew does and I just show up.

Saturday it is Bounce House time, and Uncle Boski gets chased by 8 year old's. Thankfully they will not have torches and clubs like I have experinced in the past.

After that, the Better Half and I are going to Pauley Pavilion to watch UCLA vs. Stanford. I have never been and I have always wanted to go. All these years and I have never gone to this Sports shrine. Afterwards we may fit in some wandering through Westwood.

But before the game, we will be stopping up in Culver City. The Better Half wants to go to Serfas which is a kitchen wonderland, you name it they have it. It is always fun wandering through the aisles. Sadly, I have a feeling I will not be with my wife at that point, since I will be camped out side of the NFL Network Studios, crying. I will be groveling at the door asking for some NFL Combine scraps. In short not a pretty sight. Again I present my shame for all to mock.

Sunday it will be day two of the festival of my nephew with a party at Casa de Mom. Which should be a nice time.

So now I am off, please take some caulk and spare tires before you go.

... my original assessment of Britney needing to be kenneled.

Thankfully she's back into rehab, yet again (I hope they told her that going in and out of rehab like will not get her free frozen yogurt any sooner).

But I have to ask, if she does get out again, will they need Animal Control?

Look she went feral last time she was out on the streets.

Seriously how close are we to seeing her attack humans?

In this man's humble opinion, not very far.

Right now I think the best thing for the kids is to let them be raised by wolves. Look it may have worked for these guys. Look the wolves would have more manners and be a little bit cleaner than K-Fed and Brit, but again it is just this man's opinion.

I really should be ashamed that I have taken the time to even care about Brit, considering how f'ed up things are in the world (the destruction of the Constitution, the Iraq war, coming soon the Iran War, global warming, Darfur and so on and so on), but I am sorry. I just get so mesmerized when Hillbillies, Chavs (for our British fans) or dumb ass celebs go astray from the law and reality.

There I have admitted it, it is the first step in recovery.

Adam "Pac Man" Jones Defensive Back for the Titans is waging a one man battle against the Cincinnati Bengals. To show who is the is the king of the Numerous Felony League.

It appears that during the chaos (Thanks to Jason Whitlock at AOL) errrr I mean the fun that was NBA's All Star Weekend, that Mr. Pac Man ran had a situation.

Apparently the NFL and the law do not appreciate when you go into a strip club, bite the bouncer and leave the club after your friend shoots three people. All of this stemming from an incident with a trash bag filled with $81,000 dollars. (Deadspin)


Hey I think the man is innocent and the police are looking for the wrong guy. In fact we all know who really behind this. It was these guys, they are still pissed at Pac Man.

It makes sense. After all those years of being chased, eaten and cut out from the profits. It was only a matter of time before they were going to get back at Pac Man.

I am sorry I mean rehab, that was a low blow and I apologize to all dogs and dog owners for that last remark.

I think this article from Defamer puts it nicely. This is getting ridiculous.

So Brit you could not handle rehab, or is re-rehab now since she has already bolted once. Oh well does is it matter? She probably out freebasing tweaking on Meth and Cheetos. But congrats Brit you should be getting that the "Rehab is for Quitters" card from Mrs. Lohan shortly.

I am probably not the only who thinks those two kids are so screwed. You know things are bad when Kevin Federline is the one who looks like the respectable one.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Presidents Day. I am enjoying is so much I am working. Well no matter, I have lit the candles and left 8lbs of aged deli meat at my shrine for Grover Cleveland, my favorite President. He edges out Ulysses S. Grant as my favorite. I know I can hear you now, "Mr. Boski those are odd choices, wouldn't a better selection be Lincoln, Kennedy or Washington. Even for comedy purposes couldn't you just go with James K. Polk?"

To all of you I say yes, those are great suggestions, but I have my reasons.

Sure Grant's administration was racked with scandal. Along with not properly handle a volatile situation that would scar the nation for many decades after (Reconstruction and sadly not Tales of Reconstruction). But after toiling on a paper I wrote as a college senior on him and Mark Twain, I have a soft spot for the guy. Also that paper kicked ass, if I have not mentioned it like a millions times.

Come January 2009, as I have mention before he will be off the hook for most corrupt two term administration when George steps down, that is if he does step down. Unlike Shrub, U.S. Grant won his elections. His biggest mistake was trusting the wrong people and not doing anything to change it.

As for my man Grover, he had it all:

He was a Gilded Age President

He won an election with support of the Mugwumps

He's on the $1,000 dollar bill ,

He was our only non consecutive termed president

And he was the first recorded Presidential Baby Daddy.

That is the Royal Flush Presidential frippery.

It trumps these tasty presidential nuggets:

James Polk's "K"

Chester A. Arthur's' facial hair

William Henry Harrison dying only after a month

President Garfield hated Monday's

Harry Truman beating Dewey in a game of horse that turned the 1952 election in his favor. Dewey could not duplicate Truman's rim rocking tomahawk jam.

Old Pork and Beans - William Howard Taft could beat box like a young Doug E Fresh, sadly there was no Russell Simmons or Rick Rubin around to sign him.


But in my search of useless Presidential knowledge I have found a new shinning star of Presidential nonsense.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I present to you Warren G. Harding.

Not only did he have G in his name, the man was a G by making sure the White House was stocked with liquor during Prohibition.

Warren was also a player with the ladies while in the White House. He too may have Federlined a couple of his lady acquaintances. This did not make Mrs. Harding very happy.

Had the largest feet ever of a sitting or standing president, size 14. If it was not for his scandals it would have been the Warren G. Harding Big Ass Clown Shoe Bridge, not the Golden Gate.

Supposedly lost a china set that belonged to Benjamin Harrison in a poker game. White House historians say false, just like John Quincy Adams victory over the Martian King in a backgammon match. I say they are lying and that both are true.

Four Words - Tea Pot Dome Scandal

Lastly the one that may move him into the # 1 spot, Harding did not die of a heart attack. He may have been the first case of Pac-Man Fever. Thanks to that stupid time machine that William McKinley left lying around.

But to today I close this salute to President's day with this question that I would like to throw out to you after reading this Yahoo article

Bush compares Revolutionary, terror wars.

Um, Mr. President I think you may have things mixed up. You see your actions are more along the lines of the other George involved with the Revolutionary War. You know King George, but unlike him Mr. Bush you are truly mad and not suffering from a medical condition that King George was.

So my question is this, if George Washington knew that the future of America held George W. Bush, would he have just surrendered shortly after Bunker Hill?

Thank you everyone, please enjoy the tacos.

He is wanted for grand theft. He is stealing this season of Extras. Which is no easy task mind you when you have moments like:

- David Bowie's appearance where Andy thinking he finally getting some respect, but ends up with Mr. Bowie breaking into spontaneous song about how Andy's pathetic life.

- Orlando Bloom getting shot down over and over by Maggie

- Getting caught in a bathroom stall by the BAFTA organizers after his agent (seen above) drags him in trying to get him to snort some Colombian Marching Powder with him and British comedy actor Ronnie Corbet (who looks like the woman that Andy lost his virginity when he was 28 and drunk, but that another story) and now Andy is banned from either winning or going to the BAFTA, well he can go to the Welsh BAFTA's.

- Chris Martin doing his PSA all the while he is trying to push the new Coldplay Greatest Hits

- Then there is Daniel Radcliffe, Henry Potter himself, trying way too hard and quiet unsuccessfully to try to be some kind of Lothario on set. Who in his stumbling attempt to be something he is not, accidentally flings a condom that lands Dame Daine Rigg head.

Add those moments with the bumbling of his agent and you have priceless comedy. I did not think Mr. Gervais could top the Office, but this is getting to that level.

So damn you Ricky, damn you and your wonderful show.

So if you are not watching it, I command you do to so!

Hello everyone, sorry the blog has been sub-standard of late. It has been nuts here at the hospital, but I always seem to be saying that.

I know everyone thinks today is just Valentines Day, but you are wrong. It is the birthday of this spectacular human being.

Go stop by and wish him well.

Along with that I hope everyone has a nice Valentines Day.

I should have seen it coming. There I was crowing how I can now injure or maim myself. Well little did I know I would have to put my new benefits into action. Tuesday morning after a crappy night of sleep when I got out of my car to go into the office, I was mugged and assaulted by the flu, that bastard. Man I felt sore, cold so in a word awful. I tired to get through a the day at work but thankfully I was ordered home. Thankfully it was only the flu, I was worried I had been struck down by Pro-Bowl Fever, hey it's catching.

So since that Tuesday I have been trying to recover from that viral ass beating. So today with they help of the love of my wonderful wife and powerful antibiotics I can see colors again. So I hope to be back blogging with my usual nonsense.

Well Super Bowl XLI is in the books. I want to apologize to everyone out there for not giving you my pick before the game, it could have helped out some of you degenerates out there. The game kinda went the way I expected, well at least with the under, but I thought the Bears would have covered the 7. Again that is why I am blogging to you at lunch instead of puttering about town in my solid gold rocket car.

The score I saw for the game was Indy 26 Chicago 20, but I put too much faith in Rex Grossman.

Here are some of my observations:

Sunday was a perfect reason why L.A. or Orange County should have an NFL franchise back. Miami rainy, Los Angeles 85 and sunny. I have more reasons to support why this area should get a team back, but I will not bore you with that right now.

The "performance" by Cirque de Soleil before the game might be the best PSA to keep people off of drugs, since the fired egg PSA's. I kept waiting for Mr. Mackey to say, "mmm drugs are bad".

The commercial were so-so, the only one that I agreed with was Emerald Nuts ad. You see Robert Goulet is an a office gremlin, whose only goals in life are to belt out a tune, and steal the TPX Cover sheets. To me it crystallized why Elvis shot out a TV when he heard Robert signing on TV. Maybe Elvis knew this all along and he felt that Mr. Goulet had to be stopped. Or maybe it was the 36 pounds of drugs Elvis consumed a day.

So did you take the over/under on Billy Joel singing the National Anthem in under 1:42. If you took the under you were a winner!

The first quarter was great. Nothing like a game opening kickoff return for a TD. After that it was just not pretty football.

Made a killing during the game, well I got my money for winning my fantasy football league. So I felt like I won betting on football.

Speaking of sloppy football, great game Sex Cannon.

Stat of the Night - The Bear offense did not run a play for 57 real-time minutes. That time includes half-time. That is not going to get it done, but it did keep the Bears in the game in that Rex could not do anymore damage. But I did hear he threw three picks in the locker room as well.

Bring on more Manning ads. I am glad for the guy in that he can just go out and play now. It will no longer be about Florida, New England or protection problems. He has put up and now the critics will have to shut it, for a little while.

Speaking of Manning, I wonder if this off-season in between his commercial shoots, will he take his new car (which I think him getting the MVP was BS, Should have given it to Addai and Rhodes) and do doughnuts on Brady's and Spurrier's lawn.

Oh the Bears finally converted a 3rd down, almost 24 hours after the Colts left the field.

The Bears could be in for a bigger loss. Right now they still have not resigned Lovie Smith to a contract. Lovie may go an interview for the Cowboy job, if not him then surely it will be his defensive coordinator Ron Rivera. Now if there was more than one job open they could have lost both of them. This is where the rule about assistants have to wait to be finished with the playoffs before they could interview saves the Bears.

Speaking of selections, I am alright with the Hall of Fame class this year. I am not a huge Michael Irvin fan, but he did deserve to go, even with all the baggage. Art Monk, should get in, but it shows that the NFL Hall of Fame voting is as screwed up as Baseball. That is another long blog rant for another day. It was good to see Roger Wehrli a great DB (6 Pro Bowls and named to the All 70's Teams) who played on bad teams get in. The thing that shocked me along with the continued snubbing of the Broncos. Was former commissioner Paul Tagilibue was not elected. When he stepped down he was hailed as a hero and he got the CBA done, or so I thought. It has not been ratified so we could see football meltdown if they do not get it fixed. If that happens they will blame Tags. So do not be surprised if Paul tries to help with the negotiations.

Congrats to Dungy for his win, I think yesterday we all would be happy no matter who won him or Lovie (unless you had a house payment on the losing team), since both appear to be, since I have no personal experience with either, genuine nice guys. The color of their skin should not matter, they can flat out coach. One had to get their with no-defense and the other had to get their without a QB. Chew on that.

Speaking of coaches, a sign that the Raiders new coach may be in trouble. Lane Kiffin the son of the Bucs Defensive Coordinator is leaving his job as Offensive coordinator to take the Chernobyl of the NFL. Let's say that he did not garner much respect from his charges at USC. Who gave him the nickname Coach Lunchmoney. Many people here in the who are Trojan fans are happy to see him, go. I am not since I want USC to take a nose dive. Now Lane has tried to bring in some veteran coaches to help out, but rumor has it that Lane has tired to contact Randy Moss after being hired and Moss wont call back since he wanted Rex Ryan to coach. So I am hoping that this continue the Raider downward spiral.

Prince - I think that next to the first quarter his performance was the best part of the game. Okay, the "I Love Lucy" head scarf not the greatest idea, but considering the conditions he did a great job. I have seen him live and the guy flat out is fantastic in concert and unlike the Bears he sucked it up and got the job done. I wanted the halftime show to be boring so I could get up, but it didn't. Kudos small purple dude, kudos.

Mr. Spade I have been pissed that I have been waiting for the "Showbiz Show" to come back. That you decided to get a show and forsake us. Well, after seeing the promos, should I set my Tivo to start up with the Showbiz Show in about a month or two months?

My wife's Carmel corn kicks ass.

Beer, football, friends and Carmel corn kick is a great way to spend a Sunday.

When will they finally realize that the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a Holiday as well.

Break out the sharp objects and firearms, I officially have health coverage again!

To quote from the Mark Harmon seminal work (outside his performance on the Battle of The Network Stars) Summer School,

"Enough of the safe and sane crap, it is time to get dumb and dangerous!"


WHOOOHOOOO!

Excuse me I have to go run with scissors!