Boski's Blogopoluza!

No. I am suffering a huge case of Olympic apathy. Sadly I could really careless about these Olympic Games.

My wife on the other hand has the "Olympic Fever" so I will not be able to avoid the games, which is alright. I just see a hole for the next two weeks. I however will probably will spend the two weeks filling that hole with Preseason Football, prepping for two fantasy football drafts and a pennant chase to monitor.

So in for all of those out there who share my apathetic Olympic outlook

"Slower, Lower, Weaker"

Well I have finally forced myself to sit down and type this out.

What has my extensive research has concluded is . . .

Some crazy ass crap is going to happen, but most of the usual suspects will be there at the end so let's take a look at the National Football Conference

East South

Dallas
Philadelphia
Washington
New York

South
New Orleans
Carolina
Tampa Bay
Atlanta

North

Chicago
Green Bay
Detroit
Minnesota

West
Seatlle
St. Louis
San Francisco
Arizona

AFC

East

New England
New York
Buffalo
Miami

South

Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Houston
Tennessee

North

Baltimore
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Cleveland

West

San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

NFC Wild Cards Philadelphia and Carolina
Conference Title Game: Dallas over Chicago

AFC Wild Cards Denver and Pittsburgh
Conference Title Game: New England over San Diego

Super Bowl XLII New England over Dallas

I plan to give more detailed explanation about these picks, but knowing me I will watch Week#1 and panic. So I reserve the right to make retractions and corrections.

Here are my picks for Week#1

Buffalo (+3) over Denver - Buffalo 27 - 14 (That ones for you Eric)

Houston (-3) over K.C. - Houston 24 - 9

Minnesota (-3) over Atlanta - Brain Brohm Watch starts today -Minnesota 27 - 17

New York (+6) vs. New England. Pats win, but the Jets keep it close 27 - 24

Philadelphia (-3) over Green Bay. Pack has made strides and will be close, but Eagles put them away late 28 - 21

Pittsburgh (-4.5) over Cleveland. Another horrible year starts yet again for Cleveland. Pittsburgh 34 - 17

Washington (-3) over Miami. I have a feeling that Trent Green will play like he did in K.C. Sadly I am thinking of Week#1 of last year. He is not going to make through this season. Washington 23 - 10

St. Louis (+1) over Carolina - Even though the Panthers have been able to contain the Rams at the Dome, they won't be able to do this Sunday. St. Louis 26 - 14

Oakland (-1.5) over Detroit. The Lane Kiffin Era begins with a win. Raiders 21 - 10

Seattle (-5.5) over Tampa Bay. Not the way Gruden wants to start the season since his job is on the line. Seahawks 30 - 20

Game of Day

San Diego (-6) over Chicago. Bad Rex stops by and hilarity ensues. San Diego 35 - 17

Dallas (-6) over New York. Sunday night is family night and do we need to show this slaughter. Dallas 28 - 13

Monday Night

Baltimore (+2.5) over Cincinnati. The Bengals will show their true stripes. No not prison stripes, just it can't play D. Baltimore 31 - 19

San Francisco (-3) over Arizona. They are who we thought they are, the Cardinals. San Francisco 31 - 24

All right I have to get some sleep.

FOOOTTTTBBAALLLL SEASON IS HERE!!


Yes, the NFL is back and I can truly put the festering wound that was Chicago White Sox baseball away.

So it begins tonight. I am doing my last minute research and I will present to you the world my illustrious picks.

(Crickets)

Tonight we have the World Champions opening at home (1st time in 4 years) vs. the Free Good Hit of 2006.

New Orleans at Indianapolis (-6) (OU 52)

Well it looks like the a dream matchup of two team that can go up and down the field, with defenses that are not spectacular. I do not see the same amount of fireworks that everyone expects. There will be flashes, but it will be more start stop.

Saints will win if:

Remind the Colts front seven exactly who Deuce McAllister is. The Saints will still give some exotic looks and try to spring some quick strikes, but they will take from the "How To Play The Colts Manual" and run 50 Gut, Counter Trey, Iso plays and then cut them down and open up the back side running that zone.

Keep the Colts out of 3rd and manageables. For most teams that is 3 and less than 4, but the Colts you can stretch that 3rd and 7. The Colts can nickle and dime you to death, but better than leaving yourself exposed trying to get to Manning on a blitz and snap you done 14 points and you have to throw. Drew Brees please meet Dwight Freeney.

Make plays on special teams. This is the area the Colts have issues. Other than Vinatieri they don't have great coverage teams and no one really know if Hunter Smith is in the NFL since he is seen less than the Loch Ness Monster.

Colts win

If they can actually focus on the game. How many times do you see a team celebrate their championship only to get waxed. The Colts are 48-16 at home since 99.

Doing the three step. Everyone seems worried about the Colts taking a Ugoh out on the open road. It won't be a problem, even with the Saints have great DE's. The Colts will try to run quick hitters and slow up the rush. If the Colts can do that and not have to bring Clark into block, they will maintain a huge advantage. The 3 WR's will be enough, but having Clark up the the seam will be deadly.

The best defense is a kick ass offense. Colt D is at it's very best when on the sideline. The Colts have the ability to get quick scores and also grind up with the short stuff. Which make a sorry D work. Last vs. the run, and since they were so bad it made their passing #'s look good.


Survey Says

Colts win but won't cover the -6. Even though the Colts have been 48-16 at home since 99. They are also 30-32-2 against the line at the Victrola Dome. The Saints 37-28 in that same period. Last three years they were 16-9 ATS on the road (throw out 05 and its 13-3) 14-7 (11-2 if you again throw out 05) as a road dog. As for the Over/Under the two team will come close, but not over.

I am hoping for a thrilling start, but it will be interesting for 3 Quarters and then the Colts grind down the Saints, who will get a late score to make it close.

Colts 28 Saints 24

P.S. Take the over on the number of not so sublet hints that John Madden wants to meet Brett Farve in bathroom stall at the Minneapolis Airport (Not that there is any wrong with that)

Yes, oh dear god yes. I can not get here soon enough.

If College Football was not starting this weekend I would need Animal Control to put me down since I would be feral.

Ever since June I have been reading what ever I could get my grubby little hands on glorious football. You name it: pro, college, betting and fantasy.

Here is a list of what I have read. To show you why the NFL should have a restraining order out on me and how shallow my life is:

Pro Football Weekly - NFL Preview & the Summer issues of Pro Football Weekly

SportingNews - NFL, College & Fantasy Previews

2007 Pro Football Prospectus & paying for it Player Projection Program

Athlon's NFL & College Previews

The Goldsheet College and Pro Preview

The Marc Lawrence Playbook - Football Handicappers Yearbook

Lindy's NFL Preview

Phil Steele College Preview, all 6 of the regional preview Mags and Pro Football (which I got for free, I should have gotten it for the money I laid out)

Street & Smith Pro Football Preview (the only one that has a CFL preview, so go heavy on the Argos this season)


So all in all I have laid out probably about $200 bucks. Yes, I am a loser. I just can help myself. I love collecting these things I have been doing this for a while. I have some going back to '89. When I finally got a grown-up job in '96 it became an addiction.

Secondly, I have always wanted to see if I could be football handicapabler instead of just a dude who gets park really close to things. For all the gambling stuff I look at, I don't do a lot of betting. Other than $5 a week office pool and a couple of squares at the Super Bowl, the last bet I made on a football game was September of last year. I know I have droned on about it in the past, but this fascinates me to no end. I have never had a desire to bet other sports, well except for Snooker and Monster Trucks. Hey if I am in Vegas I'll throw something on whatever going, but betting the Hawks to beat the Nets by 4 on a Tuesday in February holds no allure.

Coming Up:

The E! True Hollywood Story: The Great Spacecoaster

Here's a preview:

"Just as things seem to be going great, Gary Gnu was tumbling into $10,000 a week, hooker and blow binge that he thought it would last forever, or till Thursday. Sadly Gary's love of the White Lady and Ladies of the Night came all crashing down when Gary was arrested in Guam after using his shrimp fork to eat soup while driving. The authorities found .02% blood in his cocaine, but the cops and the world was rocked when they opened the trunk of his Suzuki Sidekick. hookers midget jugglers, alpaca's, Rollo's and Dick Cavet in drag.....

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08' - Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove - Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell - Sad to see Hell's Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II - I could watch ol' Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare's this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert - I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can't assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking's Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony - I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love - Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain't worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball - Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football - To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden - Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh - A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er's I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

"Red Right Tight--Sprint Right Option"

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson's Movie - I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What's wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis' of Springfield's Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons - I still have not seen the movie yet. What's wrong with me?

Old Yeller - No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis - Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin - You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic's to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was de-Kitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico's boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly - Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

and it's FOOTBALL!

Yeah!

Sure it was only the Hall of Fame Game but it is football none the less. I would have enjoyed it a great deal more, but since it was on that network that those evil people will not let me have you know the rest of the story.

How are you doing? It has been a long time since we last spoke. Oh I keep tabs on you, but I am worried. It used to be I could be content hanging out with you for hours, hell days on end. Sadly those days are far and few in between. I am glad that you have confidence yourself, but I think you are believing too much of your own hype. Hey you can keep your "World Wide Leader In Sports" title. I know you have already bought the stationary and monogram towels. I just think you have gone over board.

The past few years I have tried to look past your transgression, but this "Whose Now" is just too much. I tried to watch it a couple of weeks back. I had heard about this through Deadspin and through the Petros and Money Show. I knew it was bad, but I did not think it this bad. I would have been better off huffing gas and ramming framing nails into my skull. Which would have done less damage to my brain. Seriously, do I need Stu "Crazy Eye" Scott and the cast of "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" to tell me that Derek Jeter is more now than William Hung. F you ESPN, F you with broom handle in your ass, which I hope breaks and splinters in your ass!

What more do I and maybe many Americans have to suffer through. This is not Extra or Access Hollywood. I want Sports and maybe a human interest story once in a while. Your freaking job is about reporting sports not superseding the sports your are broadcasting. When I watch, I am watching to see the game or to get insight about the games. It seem to me that the sports seem to be getting in the way of you pimping, you! Okay pimping your self and the next Yankees/Red Sox series.

Tonight on Baseball Tonight, how will Friday's batting practice affect the ESPN Sunday Night game Sponored by Crucial.com!

But I have has enough of the BS. The following crap has to stop:

Stu Scott

The caricature that is Chris Berman - Hey Chris, if you bring down Tom Jackson, I will come for you fat man and I will hurt you.

The Firing of Harold Reynolds

The end of Cheap Seats

ESPN the Mag - Stu Scott but in written form

ESPN the Restaurant - OVERRATED!

ESPN the Cell Phone - how do that go?

ESPN the Home Pregnancy Test - If the stick shows Charlie Stiener then your pregnant!

The destruction of ESPN Classic

Enough of the Poker - Jesus H. Christ I am sick of watching classic flops from W.S.O.P. past and present.

The cancellation of Sports On Tap- which was a game show that saw a goofy kid from Orange County try his luck and come up short. Wait maybe this is actually good. People, I going to say that when the red light goes on, you can get dumb in a hurry. One day I will sit down and tell you this tale.

Dick V, I think it's time to put down the pipe and walk away.

Evening at the Improve or as you say SportsCenter - Come on, this use to be the show piece. It was my favorite hour of TV. Got all the scores and tons of highlights and analysis. But then you pushed it. Hey you were witty and I fell in love with some of the catch phrases, but now it just wrong. Look even the "Boom Goes the Dynamite Kid" thinks what you are rolling out is crap.

Hey you can fix this, and you still are doing a couple things right like:

Scott Van Pelt - Craig Kilborn but with humility

ESPN News Ticker - getting scores during commercial breaks is a wonderful thing.

Jeremy Green's football podcast

College Football

Ron Jaworski - I love NFL Edge Match Up, and I hope he does well on Monday.

Hey if you could, bring back Aussie Rule Football. I need me some Essendon vs. Fitzroy, or St. Kilda vs. Carlton

But take me seriously, I have got them Internets (where there are way better rants against you than I could muster) to give me what I want. Maybe one day someone will figure it out and have a channel that challenges you, so in closing I would like to quote the great American Stephen Colbert you are on notice!

Yesterday was the birthday of one of the greatest NFL QB's of all time.





John Albert Elway. ALL HAIL #7!


Also yesterday Frank Thomas clobbered his 500th Home Run.(MLB.com) It is sad he did not do it as a White Sox, but I am happy for him. Yes I have come down from my contempt for him after the 2005.

During the 90's it was all about these two.

I watched John Elway start the decade willing his team to a Super Bowl and coming within a Deep Thigh Bruise and a Steve Sewell fumble from another Super Bowl bid. Then go through some lean years only to see him end on top with back to back Super Bowl titles.

I also remember watching a young Frank Thomas fresh from AAA, go 1 for 4 with a walk in a White Sox 9 - 5 win at the Big A (9-1-90).




As the scrappy Sox moved within 5.5 of the A's. The same day Bobby Thigpen tied the MLB record for saves in a season (46) on his way to setting the current record of 57. Not that I remember any of that.

I watched this giant of a man who had a Ted Williams command of the strike zone develop in a terror weapon who helped put the White Sox back on the map. I watched him win two MVP's (should have had a third in 2000). Let us not forget he was putting up huge numbers in 1994 before the strike came.

I also watched Frank languish as the Sox floundered in the late 90's. Also watched him suffer through injuries and be an a-hole at times. Which I had to get a little bit of a chuckle see Frank get ejected in the 9th for arguing balls and strikes. I was happy to see Frank get a ring with the Sox, even seeing him limp through the season, it was just right to see him be apart of White Sox winning a title. Look I think Harold Baines is Mr. White Sox, but it is a title that fits Frank better.

So congrats Frank.

So you have heard me whiny not so poetic of my youth thank you for listening.

Why do people gotta to hate.

NFL Europa is no more.

Me and the 3 other sick bastards who cared about this are going to cry about this.

So don't come crying to me when one day you all wake up and realize that it's all gone. No more Rhine Fire, no more Berlin Thunder.

Time Warner it's on you. If I had the NFL Network, maybe I could have saved us all, you cheese eating bastards.

I am still sleepy from this weekend. This weekend was not wild and crazy, but still tiring.

Here are the highlights:


Friday


- The Better Half's Mom showed up to take us to the airport. As we prepared to ventured out, we nearly had a home invasion by this fellow.




At first he just sauntered up to hang with the Better Half and her mom, as they were opening up the car. All was fine until the Better Half came back to the house and opened the door. As soon as the wife opened the door. He bolted to it and made his attempt. It was an orange and white streak to the door. He nearly made it in, but was stopped, this time.

Damn him and his adorableness.


- Land at Sky Harbor and we saw NFL Hall of Famer the Minister of Defense himself, Deacon Jones. We made a halfass effort to say hello, but he seemed out of it and he still may be a little bummed with the passing of one of his fellow Fearsome Foursome.

- Got picked up by our friends and traveled to that bustling metropolis Tuscon and made it to Tuscon Electrical Ballpark for that all important White Sox/Diamondback Spring Training Battle.

- The White Sox came out and established their dominance. A dominance that lasted till half way through the bottom of the first.

- Even though the Sox, Offense, Defense and pitching looked listless it was still a great time.

- I got my first bit of sunburn of the season. That along with windburn. Man it was cold.

- Friday was the start of using and overusing the phrase for anything that did not go as planned, "well it is spring training for (insert proper noun here) them as well". It was used for the concession stand, the parking attendants, the umps, the organ player, the hotel workers and so on and so on.


- It is hard to have a bad day after a day at the yard.

- The hotel we stayed at was the home for the Colorado Rockies minor league players. I know that these were not in the big clubs camp. I don't think Todd Helton is camping at this hotel for spring. Now this place was not horrible, but not worth what was paid.

- It seems to be law that to be in the Rockies farm system that you have to walk around with your luggage or your shaving kits. I don't know why they were doing this. It was driving us all crazy, we wanted to know what was up. My guess was that they were using the shaving kit bags and suitcases to hoard food or hotel towels. Probably not, but I going to believe it.


- Attention Future Rockies, or at this point Pebbles, if you want to make the bigs, shag more grounders and spend less time on your myspace pages/looking at porn. It seemed like the players were in the "Visitor Business Center" (A small room with a computer in it) the whole time. I was tempted to bang on the door and yell "hand check", but my Spanish is lousy.


- I think Mexican food is catching on in Tuscon.


Saturday

- Another glorious day, but thankfully with less wind.


- Team Boski got Joe Crede's autograph, which was nice, but I also think it lead to him committing an error when the ball got into his jersey.

- Gavin Floyd made a bid for the fifth spot in the rotation with a couple of solid innings, but Gavin, I need to ask are you part Werewolf because there is something going on with your neck?



- Along with the good pitching it was good to see the Sox move runners, get some key hits and play better defense, especially Juan "Don't Touch My Jeep" Uribe. Who snuffed out many a D-Back rally. Which helped the White Sox finally get their first win of the Spring, even though the White Sox did a great Bad News Bears impression as they let the D-Back get back into the game, thankfully the Sox prevented an embarrassing let down with a collision at home plate resulting in the final out.


- Have I mentioned I like baseball?


- If you have not done it, and you love baseball, then you do need to go to Spring Training. You get good seats without paying an arm and a leg.


- My only complaint with the Tuscon stadium, other than no media guides, is that please tell the Air Force base not to have planes doing tricks during the games. I was got distracted multiple times watching a couple of F-4's, some F-16's and others doing some fancy turns. I just had visions of getting domed by a foul ball when I am looking at the sky.


Sunday

- I know Tuscon is not a large city, and I know a lot of things are closed on Sunday, but it was so quiet. Almost to the point of eerie.


- How did Clint Eastwood not win an Oscar for "Any Which Way You Can? The finest illegal street fighter with an Orangutan sequel ever made.


- We had not planned to see the Sox on Sunday, but wished we had as they beat the Cubs like the filthy curr's they are. But I did enjoy looking at the dejected faces of Cub fans at the airport.


- Sadly we had to say goodbye to our friends who joined us on this journey. They are great people and it was great they had time to see us and go down to Tuscon. We also enjoyed seeing their daughter who got to see her first baseball game. Out of this weekend we might have been able to talk them into coming out to see the Dodgers this August. If we don't see them


- Sky Harbor not too bad of a place to kill time.


- Saw NBA Analyst and former NBAer Mark Jackson walking through the Airport, but too scared to say anything.


So it finally came time to get on our plane and end our weekend, but Boski was able to spot one more former Athlete. Our flight had current NBA ref, former NBAer, a 1984 Gold medal winner, and a former Cal State Fullerton Titan, Leon Wood. I know, but I find it exciting. Well he is very nice guys who took time to talk to me from the plane to luggage claim. I have a VHS tape somewhere with me doing an "interview" with him when I was at a broadcasting camp back in 1996.

Okay this nonsense will cease, must get back to napping at work.

Adam "Pac Man" Jones Defensive Back for the Titans is waging a one man battle against the Cincinnati Bengals. To show who is the is the king of the Numerous Felony League.

It appears that during the chaos (Thanks to Jason Whitlock at AOL) errrr I mean the fun that was NBA's All Star Weekend, that Mr. Pac Man ran had a situation.

Apparently the NFL and the law do not appreciate when you go into a strip club, bite the bouncer and leave the club after your friend shoots three people. All of this stemming from an incident with a trash bag filled with $81,000 dollars. (Deadspin)


Hey I think the man is innocent and the police are looking for the wrong guy. In fact we all know who really behind this. It was these guys, they are still pissed at Pac Man.

It makes sense. After all those years of being chased, eaten and cut out from the profits. It was only a matter of time before they were going to get back at Pac Man.

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

- I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

- I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.


- I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.


- What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.


- So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.


- Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.


- So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

- Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

- Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.


- I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.


- A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.


- Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.


- Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.


- Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

- Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?


- Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?


- Poor Barbaro.

- Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?


- Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

- Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

- Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.


- Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

- I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!


- Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

- Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News' of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

- Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

- Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that's right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!


- Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.


- Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

- As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

- Even though I don't watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.


Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.

Pro Football is ramping up for it's biggest event. I know you are all thinking about it, I know I am. I can just see it now.

Yes, 2007 Pro Bowl. Awesome, I know. Man, nothing beats seeing the best football players walk through a glorified touch football game. But before we get to that we have to settle this NFL Playoffs and get to that paltry Super Bowl thingy.

So lets look at what we have have for Championship Weekend

Let me put on my ill fitting handicapping cap, yes the one that cuts off blood to my head so I make awful picks.


New Orleans at Chicago (-2) O/U 43 America's newest Sweethearts (Saints) vs. Deadspin's and Kissing Suzy Kolber's favorite son, Rex the Sex Cannon Grossman. Him and Kyle Orton may have contributed to at least 29% of the entries on Deadspin, and 40% on KSK, since 2005. To me this one is all about the weather. Temperature is not the issue, it will be if there is either rain, snow, sheet or sweat from the Superfans. With a dry track the Saints should be able to move the ball even if it below zero. I am going to go with the Saints only because I think they have enough firepower to counter the Bears D which has not been sterling that last few months.

Saints 28 Bears 24

New England at Indianapolis (-3) 47.5 Sadly I have fallen into the camp of I hate that both of these teams are here and that we have to have a week of near ProBowl Hype...er Super Bowl Hype for this game. But I will be a bigger blogger and rise above that. This is and should be a great game, no matter who wins. Even if that means dealing with the Pats continuing dynasty, or the 8 million more Payton Manning TV spots that will be done, if they win this game, and then add another 8 million more on top of that as well. Both of these teams have made it here overcoming some tough obstacles.

The Colts beat an undeserving Chiefs team who should have been at home watching the Broncos beat the Colts, and then pull off a Steeleresque Postseason run to win Super Bowl 41, and make a little blogger from Costa Meas very happy. Again I think I have veered off course. But the Colts did beat the Chiefs and the Ravens in a very un-Colt like way. Great D and spotty O. As for the Pats, sadly Tom Brady is better than all of us and we should just give in. I think God looks down and gets pissed at Brady for being as good as he has been. This does not mean I will stop rooting against Brady, I just acknowledge that by doing that I will be on the short side almost every time, except when he face the Broncos, who have bested him 3 of the last 4 times they have met and that includes Brady's only playoff loss. There again the Bronco fan in me is getting carried away, and I will remind myself that Brady has three rings and we have not been in the Super Bowl since 1999. So suck it Boski!

So what does this mean for Sunday. Well it means that we will see an epic battle where through no fault of his own Manning will crowned King of "Can't Win the Big One". Because I think the Pats will grind it out at the very end and beat the Colts with their rookie kicker after a Vineteri miss. This is the Colts' shot, and if they lose this one they will be haunted by this for years.

Pats 37 Colts 35

Other quick NFL notes:

Ron Mexico (cough, cough, cough) what were you (cough, cough) thinking man? You can't bring (cough, cough) water bottles on a plane. Especially one that got the (cough, cough) Chronic.

Dolphins hire Kirk Cameron as they new head coach. Oh sorry about that. I meant Cam Cameron, but if this ends up like his stint at Indiana, then even Alan Thicke won't be able to save them.

Football All-American will play for the Cubs. I have a feeling that he will get hit more as Cubs pitcher than as a football player.

If the Steelers select Russ Grimm as their coach, will it be a fairy tale story.


I have to go, the Better Half and I are having dinner with some friends. So I will be back Monday with more nonsense.

Have a good weekend.

Being the # 1 seed in the AFC for the playoffs. Even if your name is not Schottenheimer it still a tough gig. Since 1992 the AFC#1 seed has lost 11 times before the Super Bowl.

2006 Chargers
2005 Colts
2004 Steelers
2001 Steelers
2000 Titans
1999 Jaguars
1997 Chiefs
1996 Broncos
1995 Chiefs
1994 Steelers
1993 Miami

Just something to chew on and amaze your friends. Well I hope to give more fruitful commentary soon.

Please sit back and relax and enjoy, "Vegemite the Musical"

As if it is not busy enough at work, the weekend kept me hopping.

Friday - Took our oldest nephew out again for more high school football. Which is not unusual, but the last time I was at the venue to watch football was 1994. I watched a football game at The Big A. That is right the high school team she supports plays can play their games at this site, mine you would be lucky to fill the Titan Room at the Sizzler in Fullerton. This game was televised! This game was bordering on Texas high school football. The team they played is also the other powerhouse Catholic School in the county. So out seats were close to where my dad's old Rams season seats were. My wife looked at me funny when I yelled "they are holding Reggie Doss" (Good luck to any of you who can figure out that reference). It was fun expect the bad guys won in overtime. They had not beaten their rival since she was in high school. I can empathize with her, the high school that was the main rival for my high school has been beaten by us since Reagan's first term. Let me tell you, the day we do, I am getting a TV because I am going looting.

Saturday - Running around helping out the Better Half. She was showing a ceramic piece at a show in the Coastal Table. So it was about getting the piece wrapped up, transfer, getting the stand, museum wax. After all of that and after a quick jaunt to the Costco, we spent the majority of the day standing. From around 4:30 PM till 9:00 PM. The time was mostly about talking to other artists and visitors. Some was just standing, but we had to spend some time keeping people from leaving their drinking on the stand, or toughing the art. Let me say their was woman in her 70's who was coming close not making it to her 80's.

Sunday - When I arose my wonderful wife had the inspired idea to see Borat. In a word, awesome. I was both howling in laughter, all the while being incredibly uncomfortable at what I was watching. At the end, I expected that when I walked out that I was going to be in hell, because their were things I laughed at that I felt I should not have. This movie surpassed my expectations. Mr. Cohen, you sir are a genius. So kudos to you.

He had one shot at this and he made the most of it. This is a movie you can't make a sequel of. You could try, but you would have something that would finally make Caddyshack II feel better about it's self. This was leaps and bounds funnier than his Ali G movie. Which was funny and I am surprised it was not released here, but it may have been too British centric for an American audience, but what do I know? This movie will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Andy Kaufman is truly dead. This is what I feel that Andy really wanted to do.

Borat is our generations incredibly disturbed de Tocqueville.

Afterwards I spent the afternoon watching football at a bar that did not have DirectTV, so I had to watch Chargers vs Browns, as my Broncos exacted some revenge for last years AFC Championship debacle.

So it was busy but very pleasant weekend. Well I have to get back to it.