Boski's Blogopoluza!

I know I my appearance does not show it, but I love being at the gym. I know I have talked about it before, but I am one of those sick bastards that gets up at ten to five and gets their slappy ass out of bed. I get in there about 5:20 to 5:30 and then leave around 8:00. I love that time, since it is my time. I can throw on the headphones and just do my own thing. It is something that helps me through the day. I feel 1000% better days that I worked out then days I just roll into work. It is also something helps me with focus and also it provides me structure that I desperately need.

Now I love my gym, but there are still a couple of things that annoy me, well more people at the gym that annoy me and I would like to address them here. So please excuse the following rantings:

Mr. Hog the Universal Machine and Cable Guy- Yeah I am talking to you and your stupid fancy track suit. You turn the damn thing into a goddamn base camp. Seriously, all I see you do is work on your triceps and abs, oh and looking at yourself in the mirror. You are not climbing Everrest you dumb bastard. Also buddy, there is a limit of 20 seconds of starring at yourself in the mirror after doing a set. After 20, then it is vanity. How do I know? I can see you starring at yourself as I am staring at myself. Also you do not need to take both rope cables to achieve your triceps awesomeness? I know I should just work in on your machine just to piss you off, but I hate confrontations and I am just not up for anything that is going to take more than three words.

Ms. Personal Trainer Who Feels She Needs to Comment on My Squinting, My Lifting, or What I Am Reading - Look leave me alone. I know you mean well, but just let me get my workout in. I do not need you brand of chipperness.

Now for any and all of you who take the free weights and spread them to the four corners of the gym. Just F'ing stop it! If you have to take a weight, that's cool, but the basketball court is not where it goes, neither does it belong at the treadmill or on the track. They belong on the F'ing rack. They are free weights not pigeons. They are not going to return to their perches. Also don't be afraid to put them back in some kind of order. Now I can be guilty of this as well so I will slap my own wrist

SLAP!

There, I am not above the rules either.

Mr. Well The Steam Room Is Just Skin Scaldingly Hot Enough - Look it is a steam room not a freaking crock pot jackass.

Lastly to the two smokers who I see nearly everyday puffing on the lung darts before you come in to play hoops. Look, if you want to smoke, more power to you, but don't you think sparking up the old coffin nails before a workout is how they say, counter productive?

Okay you have heard enough of my petty little rants from my petty little life. Now I have to pack things up head home and go pack up another house.

People, please do not feed the ducks.

Seriously.

Read the goddamn signs. Don't feed them. Sure it looks cool and hell I used to do it. I thought it was helping them out, but you know it doesn't. It leads to avian botulism and sick birds might be a health hazard, but hey the bird flu is irrelevant right?

Also feeding ducks at a park hurts them. It makes them become dependent on people for food and the lose the desire to seek food which leads them to not migrate. At this point you now f'ing with nature.

But it's not the aholes who are too dumb to read the sign or those who can't read it due to the language barrier that really piss me off. What gets me are the vigilante feeders. These people are the worst and the most dangerous. We have encountered a couple of these folks who feel that it is there responsibility to take care of the birds.

Backstory on how I got to this point.

A couple of months back the park had some Egyptian Goslings hatch. There were 7 goslings and a duck who they adopted. Very cute I have pictures, I will need to bring them in, but I am digressing. As these geese grew there were people who showed up and were feeding them grain. Which is also a no-no. Animal Control wants you not to feed them anything. The reason being, they do not eat grain, they eat grass, bugs and other things found in nature. Along with not wanting to migrate, the other problem is if you feed them they lose their fear of people and that's when bad shit happens. How do I know there is a problem. Well the other morning we had a white duck follow us through the park on foot. When we stopped and were looking about the duck was right at our feet. The duck then tried to nibble my shoe, twice. That folks in not right.

So to the old man and his bike who has tracked these birds across to other parks. All of your justifications still does not make it right. If there is a problem call the city or county to fix it, or let the birds figure it out. If there is not food then they need to leave and find it. So take your bike and the boots you use to waddle in the lake to put out food and fix their nest and shove it up your old ass.

To the woman in the brown Toyota 82 Celica you can go F yourself. You are the worst. Yes I am talking to you "Mrs. I Volunteer at an Animal Shelter, so I Know More Than You". Just because you life is empty, it does not mean you have to do something harmful to the animals you think you are helping. If you did work at a shelter they would tell you the same. Oh but I am wrong and so is Animal Control, and Fish & Game. Those assholes don't know anything, how could we challenge you oh wise one. Oh wait you're driving a Toyota from the 80's. Which tells me you have not made great life choices, so please as the poet Ice Cube once opined "check yo'self before you wreck yo'self". Also I have not forgotten you yelling "Go to Hell" at us a month ago when we brought this up. Just remember the "road to Hell is paved with good intentions", so shut up and get back to your macrame owl and leave us all alone.

Hey while on a tirade about the park I have some more people to point out and direct my scorn at:

To the kids that chase the birds around or pull out crawdads and thrown them. Stop it you crap eating punks. Would you like it if I came to your home and chased you around with a wiffle ball bat with pennies in it. You wouldn't, even though I would enjoy the hell out of it. Every time I see the kids chase them I pray that they will fall into the lake. Sure some do it out of excitement and they don't mean any harm, and I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Now for the brats that do it because they just little hooligans, I hope birds crap on you for many a moon.

Parents of these kids. Hey keep an eye out on your kids. Hell put a leash on some of them. Look why should others look out for your kids when you are out. Hey you are parent 24 hours a day till they on their own feet, so parent. Sure I know you can't see their every move and kids will be kids, but come on when your kids are swinging sticks at birds you should do something about other than yell at me for yelling at your kid. Which brings me to. . .

Dog of leash guy/girl. Hey I know your dog is the greatest dog of all time and is as smart as Steven Hawking, and they listen to every command, but they need to be on a leash. And hey don't get pissed at me when I politely say something about it. Hey I am not trying to be a jerk, I am just looking out for the dog. Look the rules are not guidelines or suggestions, they are rules, follow them. Oh, your wonder dog just eat duck shit, good luck with that.

Midnight Natty Light Drinker Who Leave There Cans Laying Around Guy - Hey sounds like fun guys, all I ask is next time if you guys have one of your ragers at the park that you just go into the lake and not come back up. It would help us all greatly.

Okay, I am done with my irrational rage about the park and park etiquette. If I have offended any of you I apologize, except for those who are the basis of this rant. You know who you are. Also I am not one to support violence even toward those who may be deserving of it, but damn it felt good to write it and get out of my system.

Okay back to your business everyone. I have to get back to killing time at work.

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

- I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

- I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.


- I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.


- What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.


- So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.


- Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.


- So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

- Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

- Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.


- I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.


- A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.


- Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.


- Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.


- Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

- Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?


- Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?


- Poor Barbaro.

- Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?


- Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

- Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

- Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.


- Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

- I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!


- Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

- Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News' of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

- Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

- Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that's right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!


- Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.


- Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

- As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

- Even though I don't watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.


Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.