Boski's Blogopoluza!

Thanks to Crooks and Liars

Cheney to take reins during Bush medical procedure.

So the president is having a colonoscopy Saturday, so that means two things.

Darth Cheney is legally in charge according to the document that he and the President like to shit on. But that fourth brancher has been in charge all along it's just odd that they are still trying to appear like they are following the Constitution. Wow it makes me long for the days when Al Haig was in charge.

Two, looking at this headline, the jokes just can't write themselves up quick enough. From the sites I have seen today I have seen the usual suspects:

- Which end will they do the colonoscopy
- Will they find his head?
- How will they get Roger Ailes and the rest of the Fox News Channel out of the way?
- Mr. Bush will get to experience a little bit of what he has subjected us all to.
- The procedure may keep the President from speaking for a couple of days.

All very good, but I wonder if Ol' Darth will keep Bush under sedation and tell us that he needs to for national security reason. Darth will inform us that,

"if we allow the doctors to cut and run before the Bush's colon is ready to stand on it's own, it will be disastrous. We need to hear from the Doctors in charge of this colonoscopy surge and review their report. That may be September or October or whenever. When that report is complete it will hopefully show that Mr. Bush's ass has met those Gastrointestinal benchmarks. America has to continue the spread democracy across his colon and intestines, which have always been a cauldron of anger (especially after the President knocks back some chili dogs). The Socialized Medicine Surrenderist will want to just walk away. Even a phased redeployment will not work. It will only allow the Islamopolyps a safe haven in which to launch further attacks and that he has it on good intelligence that these polyps were seen in Prague talking to Iraq Intelligence."

(Please send your virtual tomatoes and lettuce to my comments, thanks)

I really should not be worried about Darth, I mean what could he do in two hours. . . oh wait just thought about it and I am really worried. That bastard could could get into a whole mess of trouble.

Bush Almost Blows Himself Up.(Thanks to Crooks and Liars and The Detroit Free Press)


I first had to laugh reading the article. Mr. Bush, our Commander and Chief, who is not even qualified to be Hall Monitor, almost blew himself up on the White House lawn. But after some chuckles, I got very scared. I realized this man is constantly around something that could destroy the world. No I am not talking about Darth Cheney, even though Darth could lay this world to waste, but until he can make a profit from it he will keep that ability reigned in. What I am talking about is a briefcase, one that could destroy the world. The one that has the launch codes to the U.S. Nuclear arsenal. Speaking of Darth and even though I hate the SOB, I do sincerely hope Cheney keeps Scrub from carrying the "football". I could just see the President trading that briefcase for some Hot Wheels, if left unintended. Let just have Mr. Bush carry his Dora the Explorer Lunchbox around, so we can all be feel a little bit safer.

With such a fine document like that around. No one would every, or could never to anything to abuse it

Oh wait someone did.

I have a feeling this was not the first, nor will this be the last.

But you know, I should not be such a gloomy Gus. We have the fine Alberto Gonzalez (not Roberto as I typed earlier this week) as the our Attorney General. I know he had big shoes to fill from Americas favorite crooning, narrow-minded, losing to a dead guy former Attorney General. So he and the Justice Department would have not done anything wrong. Well they would have a spotless record if you throw out the:

The torture memo, to give Rummy "cover" and to get around that pesky Geneva Convention.

Limiting the Freedom of Information Act. Hey someone has to protect the President and Vice President from themselves.

Intimidation of Minority Voters.

Dismissal of 8 U.S. Attorneys.

Take away those little hiccups and you will see that he is just super. So super that New York Times would like to see him take step down before he just become too awesome.

I am satisfied and yet disappointed. Libby is the fall guy and he will get a short sentence or pardoned. And if he does, people should go ape shit like those Conservatives who went nuts over Clinton's pardons.

To me the most telling part of this case is that the jury knows that there are others who have some explaining to do.

"I will say there was a tremendous amount of sympathy for Mr. Libby on the jury. It was said a number of times, 'What are we doing with this guy here? Where's Rove? Where are these other guys?' " Collins said. "I'm not saying we didn't think Mr. Libby was guilty of the things we found him guilty of. It seemed like he was, as Mr. Wells put it, he was the fall guy." (YahooNews)

I am glad to see something has been done, hopefully, if there is justice, it will be the start of many of the Bush Junta to face the music. I would like to see Darth up next.

Mr. Libby, pray you get a cushy prison. Since with a name like Scooter do not be surprised if you make the cover of Prison Bride Monthly.

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

- I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

- I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.


- I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.


- What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.


- So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.


- Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.


- So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

- Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

- Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.


- I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.


- A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.


- Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.


- Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.


- Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

- Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?


- Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?


- Poor Barbaro.

- Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?


- Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

- Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

- Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.


- Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

- I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!


- Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

- Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News' of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

- Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

- Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that's right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!


- Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.


- Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

- As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

- Even though I don't watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.


Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.

I thought that Walter Mondale was dead, but apparently he is not. Which is good because that means he can take a swipe at Darth Cheney while with the living,

Former VP Mondale criticize Cheney.

Unlike Gerald Ford, who waited till he cut the mortal coil to take a shot at the bastards that is the Administration.

First it was Iran's President, Iamadinnerjacket holding a conference on the Holocaust being a hoax.

Then today in Washington, feeling the pressure to do something, the White House hold a big send off for Donald Rumsfeld. Which to me is like HomeTown Buffet giving a party for Nicole Richie, it just seems so wrong and very pointless.

Well Boski the party for Rummy just sounds just stupid and not mind wrenchingly wrong as Mr. Iamadinnerjacket. (He will be called that until he comes down from the crazy mountain he is on). Yes, I agree to a degree, but some of the comments made by Bush and Cheney bring it back toward Delusionalville.

Our Fearless leader on Mr. Douchfeld,

"On his watch, the United States military helped the Iraqi people establish a constitutional democracy in the heart of the Middle East, a watershed event in the story of freedom," said Bush, who hugged Rumsfeld. "This man knows how to lead, and he did. And the country is better off for it."

Mr. Bush, I would love to know which country that was made better off because I would like to look into moving there. So you saying that success equals: a bloody civil war, sky-rocketing gas prices, regional instability that may lead to even more horrific bloodshed and economic meltdown, add the degradation of our armed forces and the United States standing going down the toilet. If that is so then mission accomplished!

As for Darth Cheney here a dose of sunshine from his soup cooler,

"I've never worked harder for a boss, and I've never learned more from one either," said the vice president, hired by Rumsfeld in 1969 into the Nixon White House. "I believe the record speaks for itself: Don Rumsfeld is the finest secretary of defense this nation has ever had."

Oh how cute, are you two still dating? Hey jackass, I think you got your speech mixed up, that the one you were going to use at the Haliburton Christmas Party. If not then please drop the pipe and go lay down. Hmm looking at the quote it makes you think. Who would have thought after 1974 someone else from the Nixon White House would out do Tricky Dick himself for being the bigger a-hole in U.S. history. Well I will say that takes some talent and a lot of black magic.

As for old Rumsdouche he what he added,

Combative to the last, Rumsfeld took a slap at advocates of withdrawing U.S. troops from the war, now in its fourth year with more than 2,900 Americans dead. "It may well be comforting to some to consider graceful exits from the agonies and, indeed, the ugliness of combat," Rumsfeld said, choking up slightly as he capped a roster of speakers at his pomp-filled goodbye ceremony. "But the enemy thinks differently."

Good to see you have not lost that lovely sense of humor you douche crotch goblin. Now is that the enemy who was in it's last throws. Or is that one of the unknown knowns that you knew nothing to know about?

In his parting advice, Rumsfeld said America must increase investment in its military. "Ours is a world of unstable dictators, (What do you mean Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, oh and Iraq) weapon proliferators (Halibuton and KBR, oh I thought you said war profiteers ) and rogue regimes(Now we are talking Bush and Cheney, right?), and each of these enemies seeks out our vulnerabilities," he said. "Ours is also a world of many friends and allies, but sadly, realistically, friends and allies with declining defense investment and declining capabilities (Or maybe they just have the good sense not to get into messy regime changes or nation building) and, I would add, as a result, with increasing vulnerabilities. All of which requires that the United States of America invest more."(Wow, I mean obviously we have not spent enough in that past five years. I mean we are only talking billions Also we are obviously not as smart as you.)

Good riddance Rummy and again thanks for nothing.

P.S. I think it is a safe bet that Rummy raided the Pentagon's Office Supply room and stole whatever was not tied down. What a horse's ass.