Boski's Blogopoluza!

That is what I would like to say to the NFL owners.

You are not seeing the forest for the trees. Find a balance that you can all live with. The whole big revenue/small revenue crap is what almost killed baseball.

When you dicks get that done, then go grab Upshaw and get the CBA done.

I do not want to see the NFL make unsweet love to itself.

Last Memorial Day Week after seeing episode III of the George Lucas Gravy Train.It made me think about some questions I still needed some answering. (Sorry you have to go down a bit, but those questions are there). I kept having one thing always popping up in my head.

Boba Fett The Wonder Years or Boba at 15 (I am still trying to find the right title.)

I have been always curious about what happened to Boba after Episode II until he returns in Empire. I thought you could have a nice little show about Boba as he is picked up by a loving family who take him and raise him as their own. He like any ordinary kid except he is wearing that helmet the whole time. You can already see the class photos. But the twist that even as a kid he talks with that angry bounty hunter voice he has. Hearing him talk about the joys and sorrows of being kid. If I have not convinced you he is a scene. (Sorry, I was a little bit of a Star Wars geek, so I may get into some arcane references. Also sorry for my sorry script writing abilities)

[Emperor Palintine High School - Datoonie - 5th Period Geometry. A middle aged man with glasses walking down the rows of chairs. Students looking with anticipation]

Mr. Tuttle - "Lobaca, nice effort"

[Young wookie child high five student in next desk, knocking them over]

Mr. Tuttle - "Mr. Porkins, the pi I was asking for is not something you eat.

[Drops test on the desk of a husky youth]

Porkins "Ah, Tantan disks!"

[Stern look from Mr. Tuttle, then he stops at Boba's desk]

Mr. Tuttle "Mr. Fett, I am proud of the work" [Drops test on desk]

[Camera holds on the paper, and then pans to Tuttle as he goes up and begins to talk about the next chapter, begin Boba's voice over]

Boba "That was the most satisfying B I ever got. Mr. Tuttle was alright. He was harsh, but the man was more than fair. He was not some old fossil hell bent on making kids cry. He cared, he just wanted what was best for all of us. It made me value hard work and realize I could open so many doors if I applied myself."

[Begin fade]

"I always had the greatest respect for the man. In fact he wrote me a great letter of recomendation for college. I never really got to say thank you, but I did catch up to him a couple years later.

[Fade Out]

[Fade In - Flea bag No-Tell Motel on Ord Mantel. Mr. Tuttle now a little grayer and a Wookie Lady of the Night enter a dingy low lit room].

Mr. Tuttle - Hey, I got the place for a couple of hours, I'll break out the booze and we can get to business"

Wookie Floozy "AAAARRRRRRGGGGGRRRGGGGAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH"

Mr. Tuttle "Hold on a second, you said 50 back in the landspeeder. Whose the one getting JarJar'd here? Ah hell, you only live once. [Takes off coat] I have never done it with a Wookie"

Wookie Tart "AAAAAARRRRRGGGGAAARRRG [coyly]

[Then the door is busted down. Boba enters then quick pan to Mr. Tuttle]

Mr. Tuttle "Don't shoot, don't shoot! Please! Wait! [pause] Hey, I know you. Boba, Boba Fett is that you? [sighs a sigh of deep relief] I have not seen you in years, I thought you were a bounty hunter looking for me. So why are you here?"

[Pan to Boba who then draws his weapon and starts blasting Mr. Tuttle]

Boba's Voice: "Sure I felt bad about shooting the guy."

[Boba searches for Mr. Tuttle wallet]

"But when you mess with Mr. Hutt's money, you pay the price."

[Pulls out the cash, gives a small wad to the Wookie Call Girl, then walks out into the hall]

"It was good seeing him again." [Walks toward the camera]

[Begin fade to title and cue Joe Cocker]

The End

I working this week. I am answering phones above ground this week for some scratch. So I think there will be some blogging done this week I tell you.

Excuse me Mr. Thomas, I want to first say thank you for all that you did as member of the White Sox. You gave me and many others many a thrill during your tenure. You maybe go down as the greatest player to be a White Sox, in fact I am still pissed you got jobbed on the MVP in 2000. I know that the day is coming when your #35 will be retired, but right now:

"Just shut your cake hole!"

Kenny I am glad you finally let Frank have it. Frank the Sox carried you a long time when they could have dumped you. They put up with your shitty attitude in the club house. Frank you can't drive in runs from the DL. I checked. They had to move on. If you hit from the left side they would have worked with you Frank. You no longer hit .320 and draw walks. So having a guy who can only DH and who has not played a full season since 2003. You can not even play first any more, you may have less range than David Ortiz.

Frank you can be bitter that they did not have you back, but I think they tried and you would have not been happy to be a role player. So they gave you a chance to make one more run. So what do you do, you piss all over them. So you did not mean what you said on the World Series DVD? Hey, I can understand you needed to get an "edge" by motivating yourself that you have an axe to grind, but you are clutching at straws.

So from now on Frank, you will go by moniker that my friend Billski Burgervich would always call you, "The Big Stank". This will continue until you make peace. So go and have fun with Moe Green at the Trop, you are dead to the family. May you have season full of bad clams.

Best wishes,

The Mayor of White Sox Village

P.S. you are off the Christmas Card list.

This weekend the world was dealt some cruel blows.

First, Don Knotts passing.Oh Barney Fife you are going to that police station in the sky.

This man gave us so much:

The Andy Griffith Show

The Incredible Mr. Limpet

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

The Apple Dumpling Gang

Gus (Also Dick Butkus finest work before Blue Thunder the TV series)

Hot Lead and Cold Feet

and

Three's Company (I think he did the best he could with the material, but he was no Mr. Roper. I wonder if they are not sitting down right now comparing notes on being property managers)

You may not know this, but me and Don we were close. So I never meet him, but while working my summers on Big Thunder Mountian, there was a railcar on the ride, that was used in the Movie "Hot Lead and Cold Feet". So I am surprised that I am not going to be asked to speak at the memorial service.

I just hope now that now they can finally show the episode of the Andy Griffith show they never aired. The one that truly explains why Barney left. The episode is a hard hitting, hard drinking and hard loving morality play of 22 minutes in which Barney meets Dr. Timothy Leary and goes on a trip that will lead him to Mexico where he proclaims himself as the "Treasure of the Sierra Madre". But in the time in between, Barney:

Decks Andy

Gives Opie an Atomic Wedgie of biblical proportions

Makes Otis Dance through the town in a tutu

Slow dances with Goober

Makes a drunken pass at Aunt Bea

Sells Thema Lou to Ernest T. Bass

Shoots Floyd the Barber in the ass with his one bullet (which you know he did. If you notice in the later episodes, Floyd is never standing.)

and then helps the Russian invade Mayberry.

Wouldn't that be a great episode.

All kinding aside Don was a hoot and he will be missed.



The second one was this man

Ralphie's Dad, Mr. Madison, the Night Stalker, one of the creepy dude's in the Natural has gone as well. He was a great character actor, right up there with the bald guy from "Top Gun" and Back to the Future. I am going to be a little sad come Christmas, when they play "A Christmas Story". A role that I can say he should have been nominated for a Supporting Actor. Without him the movie does not have the legs it does, sure the story is about Ralphie, but Darren brings it home and makes it a classic. So I will try to get a Forty, and pour it out for him while yelling,

"BUMPUS', SONS OF BITCHES!"

In the most primordial voice I can hit. I could just watch that on a loop for hours.

So fare the well Night Stalker thank you for all the entertainment.

Lastly, Larry Storch. Not you as well Corporal Agarn. Oh wait, this just in. He's not dead, just his career. Come on Larry make a come back.

Well I would like to again express my gratitude to you gentlemen for giving me so much entertainment and a reason to kill time. And also would like to express condolences for them as well.

Saw an ad for the movie "Running Scared". It kind of peaked my interest, I will attribute that to the use of the Nine Inch Nails song during the promo, but they lost me when they throw in this reviewers quote, "This is Paul Walker's finest work".

What?

To steal from Jules from Pulp Fiction, "that's a bold statement".

But then I thought, "Wow, from his body of work this is a real coup". Look out Olivier".

Can this be better than his seminal works with Fast and Furious franchise?

Is it as stirring as his hard hitting roles in such epics as "Into the Blue" and "She's All That"?

I will wait with baited breath.

Looks like the bird flu may do what the Spanish Armada and Hitler could not do. Well even if the ravens get through this, they may pack up if Charles and his steed Camilla take the throne.

Come to think of it, the Baltimore Ravens would be smart if they send Kyle Boller over as gesture of good faith. He will be helping continue a wonderful tradition at the Tower of London, while being a position not to do any damage to the Ravens playoff hopes. He may damage some windows, wing some tourist and dent a crown, but he will be doing a service for all of us.

Let's here it for a fearless leader Mr. Bush.

Now that you "on board" for the push for alternative energy. Which you are about 5 years late getting a serious start on. I had to laugh at your visit to the Energy Departments National Renewable Energy Lab in Colorado. A lab, where thanks to you and lackeys, had cut their budget. But hey we need those tax breaks so Joe Average get that $300 bucks for that $30,000 credit card bill, and the top 1% needs their ivory back scratchers. Two weeks before your field-trip, thanks to these cuts they came up $28 million short of their budget. Again maybe, just maybe if asked for some competitive bids on the reconstruction of Iraq (which is now being called Tammany Hall II Electric Bugaloo) they would have it. So they had to lay off employees who are working on alternative energy. Thanks to your quick thinking you got their jobs back. A nice gesture, but there is one problem. They are still 23 million short to do the work you claim you want them to do. This could be a good time for the oil companies to chip in and help them develop a Hummer that will consume twice as much gas. See Big Oil cares.

You have finally hit bottom when I will actually agree with Bill Frist. Wait, I am checking right now and there was a frost warning for parts of hell. What the hell are we doing allowing the out sourcing the management of six major American ports. This is not a xenophobic rant, but why are we allowing Dubai Ports World to take control of managing these ports. A company based in U.A.E., which has been a Greyhound Bus Terminal for terrorist activity. Sure the government is "ally", but 98 percent of the people in U.A.E. could careless about this deal and more who cares about the US.

Has the U.S. done anything to really improve secruity at our ports. Have we increased the budget for the Coast Guard? Are we scanning and tracking all those containers? Also after watching the second season of "The Wire" there is too much shit that can go down at the ports. Maybe if we were doing a better job at our ports then I would think differently. I say this not only because of fear of weapons being smuggled, which does scare the bejebus out of me, but the traffic of drugs, money and people.

Finally Mr. Bush, I am not happy that a "Great British" (yes he said that) company is in charge of commercial operation on six Eastern seaports because of the concerns I listed above. These are important strategic and economic assets and they should be managed by American companies. But if they are being handled by your fiends er. . . I mean friends then lets handle them over.

First it was the SI jinxing this Dazzling Dude. Oh, where have you gone Fennis?

Then it was the coming of Darth Cheney, who is now blasting his way into our hearts. I should not be surprised, but I am dumbstruck about what happened. I ran across this and it makes a great point about how stupefying the inquiry to this shooting was. (thanks to "Should've Asked Me") It looks like now that the Executive Branch is safe from the erosion of the constitution. The upside has been Jimmy Kimmel has delivered some nice bits on this. Please enjoy this one. (Thanks to MilkandCookies)

Now today it was the passing of the Curt Gowdy aka the"Cowboy". I am so glad that I was able to hear a little bit of him growing up doing the NFL and some baseball. But I will always be grateful for something I was not around for. He was the voice of the AFL. Thank you Curt. They have never been able to adequtely replace you on "The American Sportsman".

Reviews for Boski's Blog of Fun

"It is a cross between William Faulkner and Peter Falk. It has Faulkner's longwindedness and the direction of Peter Falk's lazy eye."


Hey this is still miles ahead from what Cat Fancy had to say.

Sorry to go walk about on all eight of you out there who read this. I thought I would have so much time to blog when my temp assignment finished. Well like my predictions that Sigue Sigue Sputnik, the Atari Lynx and the XFL would all end up being greater than the invention of the printing press, they all failed. You live, you learn. I did actually try to sit down and blog, I tried to put up some pictures. After waiting 30 minutes for one of them to load (thanks dial up) I had to stop. I was going to collapse my skull from pounding the desk with it.

Let's go to the highlights from a man who gives nothing but lowlights.

Dinner and Drinks - The Better Half took me out for a nice dinner. She had felt bad that she had a really crappy schedule and since we car pool there were many a night spent sitting around her office. I kept telling her it was okay, and that I felt bad that work was nuts. Hell, this woman has put up with my abnormal interest in NFL Europe. So she would have to hit me with a hammer or make me go to see Yanni to make me perturbed. So we trekked to a nice Belgian restaurant in Laguna. Before the meal, we got a little trashed drinking at the bar at The Royal Hawaiian. It was such an amazing meal. It was so good I almost thought about not creating a time machine so I could go back and beat the crap of King Leopold. Almost I said.

Super Bowl XLzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Glad to see the Steelers beat Team Potted Meat. This was all sizzle no steak. In fact this game would be a nice gristle sandwich. Oh sure it taste like steak, but after chewing on it for 3 plus hours you realize that all you got every little out of it.

Enjoyed the game watching with my good friend, Steeler fan, and King of the Desert Hooligans. I was glad to see him see his team not shoot it's self in the foot. Whoa, hold on their Mr. Cheney, just put down the rifle I will get to you later, just using a shoot analogy. But he is an Angels fan and after this fall and 1997's AFC Championship Game, things had to even out.

Super Bowl notes - Enjoyed some of the commercial, others were dumb and some were just rammed into the ground. If I heard another Greys anatomy ad with "It's a code black". I was going to go down and give everyone a black eye.

The Better Half got off some great lines during the halftime show. My favs:

After watching the Stones for a few moments, "What is this,"Assisted Living Dracula?" (sorry it's a joke from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but still funny as hell).

After someone talked about the stage setup. "What is Mick going drive around on a Rascal?

On Mick decision to wear a cut off shirt. "Look I was not put on this earth to look at some 65 year old guys stomach. That is just not right.

Other items:

My first week of freedom, well almost. I spent a lot of time trying to work on stuff around the house. Still have a ton to do. But it has led me to the fact I need to find a way to work from home and that work be involving sports. Seriously can someone help a brother out.

The Winter Olympics - Other than curling and hockey, will some one please wake me when they are done.

The Great One's gambling scandal - You think Wayne has had enough to deal with, coaching, the passing of a parent and I believe a grandparent, now Toccett-Gate. I think it is still too early to say if Wayne was involved, but what kind of world do we live when Janet Jones is dropping that kind of green on Football. It has to be Wayne's money. You can not tell me she amassed that from Police Academy 5 and the Flamingo Kid. I know Wayne loves Tocchet, but as a Kings fan he is bad news. I know the guy scored 48 goals with Pittsburgh, but we traded Lucky for him and we got nothing. It took the Kings years to get things straighten out after that. Sadly this is not the first time Wayne was "involved" with something nefarious. Two words, "Bruce McNall". Also thanks to Wayne, he brought in Charlie Huddy, who lead an escort service to the net during his time with the Kings.

Skating with Celebs, not enough "celeb" spill and chills. But I am pulling for the only one who did spill blood, Christy Swanson. Please defeat the souless shrill harpy that is Jillian Barbarie.

Oh darn I missed the Grammy's. When the music industry spends three hours celebrating the steaming pile of crap they rammed down our throats. I think I would have shot myself if forced to watch. PUT THE GUN DOWN MR. CHENEY! I am just making a bad joke. Easy there big guy. Most of the acts I could have cared less about. There were some that I was glad to see win something, but mostly it is souless and blank, kinda like Maria Carrey. I heard the opening of the show was a over hyped, over blown, cartoonesque, visual carcophany of lights sound and dance to hide poor singing and the Gorillaz. Well it looks like the Gorillaz were not destroyed, so maybe their is hope for Guy Ritchie. Last nitpick of the Grammy's, why is it that they reward good artist years too late and for albums that aren't that great. I am sorry but that Santana album that swept the awards was not great, but did they even give him a look for the work he should have rewarded, no. What asshats.

Baseball is almost back. Pitchers and catchers are about to report. The White Sox prepare to defend their title. Oh I got goose bumps typing that. But the glow of the Pro Bowl has past so, it is the lean season for sports. I used to love college hoops but call me in March. The NBA, my roto team sucks so why should I care. Hockey, stupid Olympics had to interrupt. Arena Football, I sorry it is tough for me to support people for doing what I used to get in trouble doing as a kid. Maybe if they put up a lamp or a picture frame up on the nets and if a team hits or breaks it, they get in trouble now I trying to get back on the EPL.

I was disappointed about the Katrina hearings. I did like the grilling of Browne, what an assclam. I just wished they had put an apple in his mouth as they roasted him. But looking at all these departments and their reactions I am surprised more did not die. Everyone has some blame to accept, but as we all know that this starts at the top and this country got what it voted for.

Mr. Bush, glad to see you saved us coked out, commie liberal asses. We should just get on hands and knees and thank you for doing what you are supposed to do, defend this country. It is in the job description. Go read it, have Laura help you with the big words. I am sorry but this whole domestic wiretap thing is crap. The terrorist are smart enough to know not use land lines and other communications that are easily monitored. But then they my still use those because they know that we do not have enough people to properly translate. Right now, they are using disposable cell phones like drug dealers. Easy to get and toss, but tough to trace. But then no one has ever thwarted a terrorist attack without running roughshod over the constitution. Oh wait Clinton did in 2000 with the foiling of the Seattle Space Needle. I know Mr. President supporting the constitution and checks and balances makes me a humus eating terrorist. Look I think what needs to be done can be done while protecting civil liberties, not easy but it can. We tout ourselves as free and a model for others to follow, but our actions contradict that. Hey I am just saying.

Hey what is up with Elmer Fudd...er I mean the Vice President. Maybe this is why you got out of Vietnam Mr. Cheney. Look I am not a smart man, but turning and firing a shotgun when you know you have someone behind you and the sun in your eyes is morbidly retarded. What are Quail that dangerous? I sure those are the birds the terrorist will use next to strike at us. Mr. Cheney what were you pissed that you those evil Quail were going to do the old, one sneak behind while another rushes up and pushes over the other one? Good to see you can still clip a 78 year old guy with buck shot. Wow that guy did not have a good weekend. But don't worry Mr. Cheney like telling Scooter Libby about disclosing who was a CIA op, or covering for Haliburton and Enron it will all just get swept aside. You are a class act sir, a class act.


Still looking for people for our Belfast trip, so if you or anyone you know is free from March 31st to April 15th, I still have spots available.


Well I have run on too long, just like the majority of the sentences in this entry. I wanted to get this out. Please forgive all the errors and lack of cohesion, too much cough syrup.

Well, today I now I have too much I want to get into so I will try to force myself to Cliff Note it.

From the Shame Department - Week 3 and I finally got to see blood on the ice. Kristy Swanson come on down. I actually felt bad about it, even though I watched the fall 6 times. She did a good routine. Next week I was teased with two "celebs" are rushed to the hospital. Please, please Jillian Barbarie and the woodchipper. One time, come on.

State of the Union - The High Grand Pooba of Failing Upwards again spewed crap like a champ. I tired to watch, but I was getting too angry to watch the whole thing. But then I just want the terrorist to win. Mr. Bush nearly everything you have touched in your terms as president has turned to shit. You are the "Yes Dear" of Presidents. You are show that no one watches, critics could care less about, but you are still on every week.

Hey good to see you are going to back Iran further into a corner. Look I am not a fan of theirs either, but a little diplomacy, please. Hey thanks, I won the pool I had the over on you butchering nuclear.

I did not know if to laugh or cry when you rolled out we are addicted to Oil. You are a little slow on the up take there. Hmmm, so at this rate on knowledge absorption when you are 80 Global Warming is not good.

So you are still going to try to ram the your Three Card Monty game . . . er I mean your Social Security Plan on us.

More tax cuts and cutting of social programs. Again you are making the Adam Smith "invisable hand", give us the finger. Who needs to send kids to college, public programs or affordible health care. You know who supports college loans, and Medicare. Osama Bin Laden. The insurgents, want to extend unemployment benefits to works. But seriously, health care needs to be fixed and soon. What should scare you is right now the numbers of medical students going into general practice is shrinking faster the Polar Ice Caps. Why, doctors who do general practice are not doing it for the money anymore. They are over whelmed by the HMO's and they are scared of lawsuits. But then I want the terrorist to win if we do not allow the drug companies and HMO's to make more money while providing less.

Last bit from the State of Disunion - I know I have mentioned this elsewhere, but you did look so pleased when you gave a copy of you speech to the Speaker and Darth Cheney. You had the, look, I did it all in cursive and I stayed in the lines. That one,s going up on Grandpa Cheney's fridge.

Bush cuttings continued - George love that you took a page from your dad about the photo with Abramoff. Your dad got away with mugging with Old Pineapple Face Noreiga. Now it is your turn, and since you're such a dolt, your I don't remember taking a photo with him may actually work.

Oprah - you are a Douche bag of Biblical Proportions. I was so glad you stepped in this flaming bag of dog shit. But seriously did you need a whole hour whipping the guy on TV. He deserves scorn, but that was overkill. But then phony authors and people who do not sell you hand bags are the really enemies. Hey Oprah, sue him and then take the proceeds and give your audience more useless crap. All the while as Tom Cruise makes sweet, sweet love to angry bear.

The Super Bowl - still trying to wrap my head around the game. Right now I like Pittsburgh. If they can run on the edges then they will win. But if not then I think Sea Chickens will get enough out Alexander to win. But I am going Pittsburgh 27 - Team Potted Meat 20. But more importantly we are less than two weeks away from the Pro Bowl. Which means one thing. NFL Europe is almost here.

Kobe Bryant - Wow if he had better supporting players this team would be dangerous, but since he doesn't it easy to see why he has to keep jacking up shots. I love the guy on the court, off the court, Kobe you are still in time out. But he is amazing to watch.

The Oscar's I would have more witty banter, but I don't go to the movies. I just wait till they're on cable. So I am little behind, hmmm Gandhi. Did this just come out?

Well sadly like the ADD child I am I have to get going on work. Please try the free samples and stay tuned for VH-1's Behind The Gameshow: Press My Luck.