4/24/07

Lost Blog!

If anyone has seen this blogger or any of his current blog entries





please report it to the civil authorities or animal control.


Reward: Your own Boskicrafted reference to the Hapsburg's

And that it was Sammy "Watch me forget how to speak English when I am asked about steroids" Sosa who broke it up, but it was rewarding to see Sammy getting picked off for having a brain fade.

Suck it Sammy!

So let us give Mark Buehrle a nice hand for the No-No he tossed last night.

Let us hope that this kick the White Sox in ass, and gets them going on doing what must be done. And that is to overtake the Politically Incorrect's, Twinkees and the Pitty Kittys.

Trying to bring you something witty and brilliant. Instead of Chocolate Milk it watered down Youhoo.

Work has kept things busy and folk I have tried to think of a cool hip way to fit Physician Re-appointments and Quality Risk Events into a blog entry and it does not work. Kind like peanut butter and typhoid. It does not work. Sure it sounds good when you sing,

"Peanut, peanut butter and . . . . . typhoid!

I was doing that for about an hour last night.

From Typhus it went to "peanut, peanut butter and ....:

knife fights

Map Quest

John Wesley Harding

Patagonia

Neil Sedaka

War of 1812

jellies

Pirmin Zurbriggen


Then I stopped. I felt the joke had run it's course and I got distracted by some tin foil.

Louis XII

Results of the World Series of Wiffle Ball - Des Moines Chamber of Commerce vs. The cast of Fame.

St. Louis Browns

Fate of Discotheques on Easter Island

Cheeses' of Bolivia

Talking Pie and the Battle of Waterloo - Was Wellington was helped by a time traveling Peach Pie?

Insurance Seminars

Congressional Ocelots

Freddie Laker

Namibian National Championship Squash results from 1994

New Coke found on Mars

Elbows Across Delaware - the precursor to Hands Across America

T.J. Hooker

1927 Great Ferret Rush of Norway

Shemp!

Shrinky Dinks

Bowling Shoes

Thanks Wikipedia - As you can see how powerful young boys imagination and Wikipedia can be be in the war to waste time.

we are also spreading our wonderful brand of cronyism.

Great job Paul Wolfowitzless!

Sure other nations have their own unique brands of favoritism and corruption, but the Bush brand is just specialier (as our President would probably say). It provides many hour of countless laughs and outrage, along with a hint of cinnamon.

Just as a note I would like to say this administration's graft would make Boss Tweed blush.

Sorry I have just been dying to make some kind of reference to Tammany Hall.

that Imus is actually still on the radio. The man has 0.0 rating in a couple of major markets. Who the hell listens to him, Seriously, this dude needs to be arrested for stealing, as well.

Please CBS, fire Yosemite Sam, also let him know that he passed away to years ago.

What an Asshat! Could you be any dumber? Hell, the late Anna Nicole is stunned on how freaking stupid you are, you old coot. You have never been funny or interesting you racist bastard. This is not your first rodeo when it comes to making remarks like this.

As he goes on his apology tour, he keeps digging a deeper and deeper hole. So to that I applaud him for his bumbling effort. Part of this tour will be a meeting with the people he offended. I know that the classy individuals of Rutgers Women's Basketball will, in their meeting with Douche Imus, express their displeasure. It will be done passionately, yet civil. They will try to explain to the Iclod why it was hurtful and totally inappropriate. Which will probably go in one ear, rattle around and then out the other. Personally I wish that the parents or family friends could come in and beat the dude with a rake, but that is petty little me.


So Don Imus I say to you, "suck it!'

That is that last time I ever bet on Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Count Frederic Von Asshat.

I believed you. I could have made some cash, but no you are not Anna's Baby's Daddy, you are not even Baby Grandaddy, thanks for nothing Count Goodfornothing!

I hope Zsa Zsa get as slappy with you as she did with the cops.

Bush Almost Blows Himself Up.(Thanks to Crooks and Liars and The Detroit Free Press)


I first had to laugh reading the article. Mr. Bush, our Commander and Chief, who is not even qualified to be Hall Monitor, almost blew himself up on the White House lawn. But after some chuckles, I got very scared. I realized this man is constantly around something that could destroy the world. No I am not talking about Darth Cheney, even though Darth could lay this world to waste, but until he can make a profit from it he will keep that ability reigned in. What I am talking about is a briefcase, one that could destroy the world. The one that has the launch codes to the U.S. Nuclear arsenal. Speaking of Darth and even though I hate the SOB, I do sincerely hope Cheney keeps Scrub from carrying the "football". I could just see the President trading that briefcase for some Hot Wheels, if left unintended. Let just have Mr. Bush carry his Dora the Explorer Lunchbox around, so we can all be feel a little bit safer.

4/6/07

Slappy Easter

Well the work week is winding down and I am just killing time here at work.

Trying to get things wrapped up so I can flee early today so I can catch L.A. Avengers excitement.

Yes, I am going to watch Arena Football.







We won the tickets a couple weeks back when I correctly guessed the total of the BYU vs. Xavier 1st Round NCAA Tourny Game (and you all said gambling would lead to nothing). Would have liked the Laker tickets, but as they say "beggar can be choosers but there are a hell of a lot of forms to fill out."

So I will fighting the freeways to watch grown me do something I used to get yelled at. Didn't the Brady Bunch teach us about playing ball in the house. I love the Arena League is trying to sell itself and be fan friendly, I just would love for them to add one thing. In or around each end-zone I wish they would have a giant mock up of a lamp or picture frame. So that if either team hits any of the home items, then a siren goes off and the offenders are penalized 15 yards for roughing the breakables. To add to it, if a team gets three in a game and your team is grounded and it's an automatic forfeit and will get it from Dad when he gets home.

Just a thought Arena League. Chew on it, if you like it you know where to find me.

This will be my second foray into Arena Football. 11 years ago I watched an epic tilt between the Anaheim Piranhas and the Iowa Barnstormers. It was a game that did have playoff implications. I was there since the man who ran the Broadcasting Camp, had part ownership of the team. So in a way we where helping him bankroll this venture. A venture that ended the next season. But what I did not realize is that during the game that we all making fun of one player. A player we kept referencing to as former Seattle Seahawk great. Little did we know it would be future Super Bowl winner, NFL MVP, and selling his own soul to the devil for fame Quarterback Kurt Warner. Some of you thought I was going to say Dan Doornick. Psych!

I can tell by the yawns you are fascinated by that to no end.


As for the rest of the weekend,


Saturday - a little bit of this, a little bit of that.


Sunday - Brunch with my wife's Mom at Castle Boskistein, Then Easter egg/nap hunt with this guy:






Next up is Mass, then it is off to my Mom's for the Nephew's Million Dollar Egg Hunt - Sponsored by Cisco Information Systems. Depending on the the loot I may need to get in on it. Look, I am not afraid of moving aside an 8 year old, or 3 year old, to get a Lincoln or two. Hey they need to know about competition, and their Uncle Boski will be the one to teach them.

I am know I am a horrible person.

I hope everyone has a good weekend and blog at you Monday.

with the blog Bedazzler. So please mind the mess.

The White Sox win, White Sox win. They win on a dramatic walk off . . .

Hit Batter.

Is this a good omen? I am hoping it is, but knowing my luck that this is a good omen in Haiti.

Casino Owners beat White Sox 8-7.

Oh this one was as bad as Monday's ass whopping. The Sox could not stand prosperity as they could not hold the lead twice and when they had chances to comeback they shot themselves in the foot.

It appears that I missed another NCAA Championship game. I looks like I did not miss much last night. Florida beating up Ohio State and it's 45 year old Center. Come on when LeBron James thinks you are older than 18 then you are not telling the truth.

Missing the game seems to be pattern for me.

This year I was working till about 7:00 PM and got home after 8:00 PM.

Last year I was in Northern Ireland.

Year before that stuck at the office again.

So where am I going with this?

Let me tell you a story about a man trying to find work a couple years ago who stumbled into pyramid scheme.

It was the Spring of 2002 and I was looking for a job. I had been beating the pavement since December. The job market sucked a lot of ass. I was ran across an ad for marketing position. I had been very interested to get into marketing and media. I have always been fascinated with the work the Better Half did. So I ran across an ad for a entry position. I sent them my resume and I heard back from them. I was so geeked at the possibility of a full time job, I actually faked being sick at a temp assignment to go to the interview. A temp assignment that I got dumped from 2 days later. They thought I was too quiet for the position so I got the boot. Jerks!

The initial interview went well enough that they called me back. If I only known, I would have come into the interview drunk. Wait looking back on it if I did they would have hired me on the spot.

So Boski what's the deal then?

I am getting to that. About a week later I get a call telling me about coming down for a full day of unpaid "training". Being the sharp bulb I am, I bit. So on April Fool's Day 2002 I became the biggest fool by going on this interview. I get to a place in Anaheim, it actually a stones throw from the Big A. It is about 10:00 and I show up in my suit ready to learn and see if this is the career for me. I walk into the office and I notice a ton of people going in and out. I should have seen this during the interview but I did not care I was just in dire need of a j. o. b. At first I was okay with it being frantic, hey I worked at Disney I could handle this. I should have know from all those days playing Oregon Trail and that if you do not have a good oxen you are going to die on the Plains. Well by being on this interview I cheaped out on the oxen.

My trainer shows up and starts asking me some questions about marketing, and I am answering like a champ. We do not talk about what we are "marketing" and I should have asked. Big mistake. As we get into his car I have a sinking feeling and then


hits me with a trash can lid and steals my wallet.


Not really.

I wished that had happened, it would have been more productive and I would have felt less shame. That sinking feeling was probably the best that I felt about the whole ordeal.I was confused about what was going to be done. I held out some hope that it would not be something too embarrassing. Maybe part of this position is about going to merchants and so on and maybe the product we are marketing would be something I could handle like Angel tickets. That hope would soon be crushed like the media on Anna Nicoles funeral. We drive to another section of Anaheim where we meet another "rep" and we are going to canvass a neighborhood to see if people want to have an ADT sign on their lawns to advertise and if they wanted to they could purchase an ADT system. Great I am in a F%$#ing pyramid scheme selling! This crap is a step above the magazine kids you hear about on the news. Except I could do this only here in the O.C., and with a lot less drugs and crime. Oh wait, since I did such a great job walking around and answering a couple questions that I became a candidate for the management training program. Wow that was some great vetting done there. The trainer sat down with me and discussed that if I showed the gumption that in a couple of months I could be running a crew in exotic places like Fresneck or Stockton. Oh boy sleeping at a Red Roof Inn with 8 other dudes. Hell where do I sign?

I was told this at our lunch at the Carl's Jr. where I use to go and pound my head on the table when I had my most embarrassing job I may ever hold, selling kids clothes. Which I did as a senior in high school. Kids nothing boost your self esteem like being a bench-warmer on a team that would end up being the worst in school history (0-10) and selling kids clothes. Yes, the women do flock to that. I still find it a shock that along with the above mentioned along with my lack of looks, social graces (folks I was a couple of links away from the missing link), and the 79 Toyota Corolla (which was a fly ride) that I did not go to prom.

So now I have spent eight plus hours walking around knocking on doors and feeling like a grade A jackass. The day would have been seriously more productive if stayed home and watched that episode of Quincy. Hey when did the Q not give you a nugget of truth to live by. By the very end when we actually got a bite, instead of listening intently of what was being said, I had tuned it out. I was sitting in some one's home try to see what was on the TV. Now the guys I was with were not awful, I hated what they do for a profession, but hey god bless you if want to do this and you make a career. I just ask that you don't come to my house please, or you get the hose. But we did waste some of the time talking sports and I learned how to better dig a trench.

Now it is dark and I am tired from walking around for eight hours. We are heading the the Valley of Kings. On route my trainer went over the important item that I needed to know and that I was going to be quizzed on, during my interview. Huh ????

I needed to know about the "law of averages". That in one day a marketer should be able the canvass 100 homes, and you should get at least 3 or 3%, to be technical, to talk to you about purchasing a Home Security Package (which is probably as worthless as our current Homeland Security). It was stressed to me that I need to know this. If I didn't I would blow the interview, and a chance at this sweet gig. I also think the fate of the free world depended on it.

Now here is where it got weird. We get back to the office and when I walked in it looked like a cross between a dorm party and office holiday party. A lot of college age people standing around. They had a boom box blaring, I was waiting for the keg stands. This is really not the atmosphere to conduct an interview, but reality and this day had long ceased to communicate with one another. So I took a seat and began to fill out a questionnaire as I waited to be spoken too. I was scared, confused, and I felt clammy, even more so then when I hear anything sung by Fergie. As I sat there just wanting this to end, somebody walks up and sits down next to me and makes chit-chat. How's it going? Who are you? How was it out there? The usual conversation so I thought. After about a couple of minutes they get up and walk away. Then someone else comes over and is doing the same thing, but at this point I feel that they are not doing this to be polite more that this was the interview. Halfway through my second chit-char session I hear a group across the room from us run a ring a bell and cheer. What I do not know, it may have been "ask me about Herbalife". I would hear the room erupt into this cheer three more times before I left.

WTF is going on here? By this point I was so ashamed of myself for getting sucked into this and wasting a day. Then a third person came a long and did the same drill, but it was more about about the job. If this was a job interview then this was one honked up one. I was just waiting for someone to hand me a tracksuit and some Nike's.

After the third and thankfully final drive-by interview they took my questionnaire and I sat there. I sat there for about 20 minutes waiting to be interview and watching the machinations of this pyramid scheme, when my trainer came by and walked me out. He told me the job was mine and I just had to say yes. I was getting the hard sell. I told him, thank you but I need to talk with the wife about this since this is a big decision and I would call them the next day. Which I never did. I walked out into the pleasant April evening and I felt like Scott Wolf and Jay Mohr did in Go when William Fincher and Jane Krakowski tried to sell them Confederated Products. I felt so so dirty.

Thankfully the pyramid scheme never came after me, but I did have to go to everyone I listed as reference and tell them, if they were to call that they were to say I was dead.

So please learn from your Uncle Boski, if you or any one you know ever thinks about applying for a job that looks like this you are to run away, or punch the sense back into that person. So please learn and grow from my shame, it is my gift to you.

Worst Opening Day Ever!

Sox get donkey punched by the Casino Owners 12 - 5!

Holy crap Jose did a great impersonation of Jamie Navarro.

My kingdom for a rain delay.

Ozzie, please do not let anyone to get anything from the Snack Shack after this one.

Please make it stop.

Hello teens, sorry I have been away, it has been hectic at work and at home. Last weekend and until Midnight Tuesday Team Boski was prepping the house for a house guest and since we had a lot of stuff to move. But enough of that and lets talk some baseball.

Ah yes it is Opening Day and I am excited, not at the fevered pitch I use to be as young lad, when Opening Day was the one day the White Sox were not eliminated from playoff contention. This year it is more trepidation since the White Sox had a scintillating Spring Training where they went 10 - 22 - 1. Most of those beating where at the hands of D'Backs and Rockies. Since those and two and '27 Yanks are mirror images I really should not be worried.

Right now I am both angered and scared by many of the preseason projections. Sure there were a couple that have the Sox winning, but most say 4th, including Baseball Prospectus that has the Sox going 70 - 92. Which would be great news for the Broncos, since it will mean more time getting excited about them. The other scary thing is this team may have a good season and still finish 3rd, since the AL Central has four teams that can make a case for the title and I hate it.

This years Sox team has so many questions:

1. Have Buehrle and Contreras hit the wall? Mark has no velocity and Jose looked awful in the second half. I pray that they can forget 2006.

2. Is it Podsednik or Podsedsuck? Last year was a disaster, sure he drove in some runs, but that is not his job. His job is to be a pest, get on base and help manufacture run. They were 24-6 in games he swiped a bag, but too many nights you could find his name next CS. Also Scott, I love you but you D last year was so bad that Jose Canseco squirmed.

3. Speaking of D - Mr. Mackowiak you are going to get yourself killed out there either by the ball, Ozzie or a rabid Sox fan, so please, please use your glove for good. That goes for everyone else, please.

4. Building a bridge - Hopefully this team can get back to getting starters getting throw Complete games, but since that won't happen I will settle for getting to the 7th. Because what killed this team was the bullpen was awful. Too many guys pitching too many inning and pitching them terribly. Jenks had to do too many Inning plus appearances and he ran out of gas. So this year we will see if power arms Kenny has brought in will work. The key to me is the two lefties. If Sisco and Thornton can be effective that will be huge. Cotts could not never get out of Jury Duty. McDougal will be the Set-up man and Bobby will close it. Ozzie and Don, make this work since I do not want to see the Charlotte Shuffle this season.

5. Javy, just throw %$#*ing strikes, have confidence in your stuff and also you have people playing defense behind you so let me work for you. You got an extension and a live arm, so use it!

6. Manufacutre Runs - The Sox got too comfy with the big inning. Look this team beat the World Champs silly last season and it got us no where. This team O is still potentially potent, but we need to create runs when guys are not hitting. Which leads me to.

7. Get back to winning the close ones. The Sox won it all in 2005 because it played playoff baseball as soon as they broke camp. This goes back to pitching, defense and get runs when the hits are scare.

8. Toby we hardly knew ye - The Sox brought in someone to spell A.J. (Please hold your boos to the end) but that possibly ended with his shoulder popping out. So to start the season the Sox will have to roll with Gustavo Molina. No he is not a part of the Catching Molina's. So if everything works out Toby will be back by May. If not the dreaded call for the Zombie Sandy Alomar Jr. will be made and nobody wants that.

9. Ozzie - I love Ozzie, I don't love everything that comes out of his mouth, but he is what this organization needed when he was brought in. Ozzie please get this team to focus and back to playing that brand of ball we all know and love. It does not have to be pretty, just get the W's. Also Ozzie, let Brian Anderson play, the kid plays D and he will hit, have faith.

10. Darin Erstad is still alive? Look guys I love grinder ball, but Darin is busted up. I will be happy if he can be the new Ross Gload.

11. Is it wrong to hope that all the AL Central other than the Sox suffer from bad soup all year?

So the time has come for the questions to be answered. Oh wait as I type the Sox are already down to the Casino Owners. Great.

Well here is my lame-ass baseball predictions. If I had done this a couple weeks back it would have been better when I was prepping for my baseball draft, but I have been neck deep in NFL Draft stuff. Ask me who the Broncos should take I can answer that, but we are hear to talk baseball.

NL West

1. Dodgers - Love their pitching now if they can scrap enough runs together they win the division and maybe do some damage in October
2. Padres - Great pitching, but Wells and Maddux are not going to do it.
3. Rockies - I have been hearing the buzz and I think they are do to at least stay in the hunt till Sept.
4. D'Backs - Moving in the right direction, they are putting together some good young players.
5. Giants - Sorry Silly, but this team is too old. Love Bochy as manager, but they need to get Barry to 756 and then start building.

NL Central

1. Milwaukee - No I have not been drinking, I am just trying to be cool. If Shield can stay healthy they will make the post season for the first since Pete Ladd walked the earth.
2. "Gulp" - Chicago Cubs - I hope I am wrong. I would love nothing more than see the Cubs finish 0-162.
3. St. Louis - Showing that getting hot at the right time can go a long way. But I think they may not have enough arms.
4. Houston - Carlos Lee $100 Million. Really? I hope you kept your receipt
5. Cincinnati - I am curious to see if they can stay in the hunt with only two starter, no real closer and about 15 middle relief guys. Also Ken Griffy Jr. has been injured twice since I started this entry.
6. Pittsburgh - Arrrrrr it tough being a Pirate.

NL East

1. New York Mets - We will see what this team is made of after losing the NLCS. I think they will spring back
2. Philadelphia - Again will knock on the door, but will they get in?
3. Atlanta - They made some nice moves, but not enough to get by Philly or New York
4. Florida - great young talent, but they are down this far because I loath the MIL from the Bay Area is a fan.
5. Washington - Cue the Comic Store Guy - "Worst National League team ever!"

AL

East

1. Yankees - Will hit but can they get the pitching. They might be able to if Carl Pavano is monitored.
2. Red Sox - Loaded as well, but the key will be Schilling and not Dice-K. He has to hold up. They did make the right call moving Pappelbon to the pen.
3. Toronto - The Jays are a starter away, that and if Halladay can stay healthy. Could be a very dark horse.
4. Baltimore - Mr. Angelos please sell the team, hell sell it to Marlow. He knows how to run an operation. I would have suggested Stringer and Avon, but Stringer is dead and Avon is in lockup.
5. Devil Rays - Two words that could really help this team - Insurance Fire.

Central

1. Twinkee - Santana will pitch 140 games this year and I will spend a miserable summer as the Twins celebrate and annoy the crap out of me.
2. Pitty Kitty's - Screw the whole lot of you. May Gary be the biggest locker room cancer of all times.
3. The Casino Owners - Jacobs Park this. I hate you as well
Tie 4. The Constitutional Monarch & the White Sox - Right now the 70 - 92 that was predicted may be what we get. It is 9 - 2 already and it is not even the bottom of the third. So with that and probably an improved Royals. I see a basement in the future. Damn, damn, damn, damn it!

AL West

1 Anaheim - If they can find some hitting then they would be scary. Still they will win this division.
2. Oakland - They will miss Barry come September and October.
3. Texas - Until I see them get pitching past July 4th I will never believe in these guys.
4. Seattle - No not even the Dr's as Seattle's Grace Memorial Hospital can save this team.

Playoffs

NL

Phillies (Wild Card) over Brewers
Dodgers over Mets

Dodgers over Phillies

AL

Anaheim over Boston (Wild Card)
Minnesota over New York

Anaheim over Minnesota


World Series

Anaheim over Los Angeles

A Freeway Series or another World Series America will tune out since it will not have Yankee, Mets, Red Sox or Cubs in it. Also most of America will not care and since every game will end after 1 AM.


So please feel free to make fun of those picks, I know I will. Excuse me I have to get back to crying under my desk as the White Sox get Little Big Horned today.