Boski's Blogopoluza!

That is a question that was probably on the minds of some of the parents at my nephews bounce-house birthday party as I again showed that I am a eight year old. Chasing kids and being chased for a couple of hours. I did show some restraint. I did not go Thunder Dome which the parents would have probably frowned on. But who I am kidding those kids would have beaten the crap out of me and taken my lunch money.

That reminds me, if I had only know as a younger man the racket that is kids parties. I would have gone into that. I would be rolling in the money, well after I had settle those cases involving shooting kids out of a cannon. Sure it would have been bad, but not WKRP dropping turkeys from a helicopter bad. So let us never speak of it again.

Afterwards we did make it to UCLA, sadly and probably thankfully we could not go to Culver City, stupid traffic. But going to Pauley was a blast. You are sitting in history. You look up and you see those banners, it is quite impressive. Speaking of impressive, the Bruins held a ceremony they held at halftime to celebrate the 1967 National Championship team. I know not very interesting to most, but I am a very simple man. A man easily entertained by sports and shinny objects.

Afterwards wandered through Westwood, it had to be a good day since we found parking within 5 minutes.

Sunday was the end of the nephew birthday festival with dinner at my Mom's. It is always fun hanging with the nephews and the family, well almost the whole family. It is a long story and I may one day tell you fine people, but I am not ready to. Let me say because of some family dynamics it makes these celebrations not as fun.

I did not catch much of the Oscars, pissed that our man Dan did not win for Babel, but was happy to see that Forest Whitaker win. It made me wonder, what would have happened if Sean Penn had been up for an Oscar as well. Would he have finally told Forest that he wrecked his bitchin Trans Am because he was blasted, or would he go on and lie that it was the rival high school who trashed his car. So I must ask, did I miss much?

Well I am off to fight traffic and start the weekend. Got a full social calender this weekend. Well actually my nephew does and I just show up.

Saturday it is Bounce House time, and Uncle Boski gets chased by 8 year old's. Thankfully they will not have torches and clubs like I have experinced in the past.

After that, the Better Half and I are going to Pauley Pavilion to watch UCLA vs. Stanford. I have never been and I have always wanted to go. All these years and I have never gone to this Sports shrine. Afterwards we may fit in some wandering through Westwood.

But before the game, we will be stopping up in Culver City. The Better Half wants to go to Serfas which is a kitchen wonderland, you name it they have it. It is always fun wandering through the aisles. Sadly, I have a feeling I will not be with my wife at that point, since I will be camped out side of the NFL Network Studios, crying. I will be groveling at the door asking for some NFL Combine scraps. In short not a pretty sight. Again I present my shame for all to mock.

Sunday it will be day two of the festival of my nephew with a party at Casa de Mom. Which should be a nice time.

So now I am off, please take some caulk and spare tires before you go.

... my original assessment of Britney needing to be kenneled.

Thankfully she's back into rehab, yet again (I hope they told her that going in and out of rehab like will not get her free frozen yogurt any sooner).

But I have to ask, if she does get out again, will they need Animal Control?

Look she went feral last time she was out on the streets.

Seriously how close are we to seeing her attack humans?

In this man's humble opinion, not very far.

Right now I think the best thing for the kids is to let them be raised by wolves. Look it may have worked for these guys. Look the wolves would have more manners and be a little bit cleaner than K-Fed and Brit, but again it is just this man's opinion.

I really should be ashamed that I have taken the time to even care about Brit, considering how f'ed up things are in the world (the destruction of the Constitution, the Iraq war, coming soon the Iran War, global warming, Darfur and so on and so on), but I am sorry. I just get so mesmerized when Hillbillies, Chavs (for our British fans) or dumb ass celebs go astray from the law and reality.

There I have admitted it, it is the first step in recovery.

Adam "Pac Man" Jones Defensive Back for the Titans is waging a one man battle against the Cincinnati Bengals. To show who is the is the king of the Numerous Felony League.

It appears that during the chaos (Thanks to Jason Whitlock at AOL) errrr I mean the fun that was NBA's All Star Weekend, that Mr. Pac Man ran had a situation.

Apparently the NFL and the law do not appreciate when you go into a strip club, bite the bouncer and leave the club after your friend shoots three people. All of this stemming from an incident with a trash bag filled with $81,000 dollars. (Deadspin)


Hey I think the man is innocent and the police are looking for the wrong guy. In fact we all know who really behind this. It was these guys, they are still pissed at Pac Man.

It makes sense. After all those years of being chased, eaten and cut out from the profits. It was only a matter of time before they were going to get back at Pac Man.

I am sorry I mean rehab, that was a low blow and I apologize to all dogs and dog owners for that last remark.

I think this article from Defamer puts it nicely. This is getting ridiculous.

So Brit you could not handle rehab, or is re-rehab now since she has already bolted once. Oh well does is it matter? She probably out freebasing tweaking on Meth and Cheetos. But congrats Brit you should be getting that the "Rehab is for Quitters" card from Mrs. Lohan shortly.

I am probably not the only who thinks those two kids are so screwed. You know things are bad when Kevin Federline is the one who looks like the respectable one.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Presidents Day. I am enjoying is so much I am working. Well no matter, I have lit the candles and left 8lbs of aged deli meat at my shrine for Grover Cleveland, my favorite President. He edges out Ulysses S. Grant as my favorite. I know I can hear you now, "Mr. Boski those are odd choices, wouldn't a better selection be Lincoln, Kennedy or Washington. Even for comedy purposes couldn't you just go with James K. Polk?"

To all of you I say yes, those are great suggestions, but I have my reasons.

Sure Grant's administration was racked with scandal. Along with not properly handle a volatile situation that would scar the nation for many decades after (Reconstruction and sadly not Tales of Reconstruction). But after toiling on a paper I wrote as a college senior on him and Mark Twain, I have a soft spot for the guy. Also that paper kicked ass, if I have not mentioned it like a millions times.

Come January 2009, as I have mention before he will be off the hook for most corrupt two term administration when George steps down, that is if he does step down. Unlike Shrub, U.S. Grant won his elections. His biggest mistake was trusting the wrong people and not doing anything to change it.

As for my man Grover, he had it all:

He was a Gilded Age President

He won an election with support of the Mugwumps

He's on the $1,000 dollar bill ,

He was our only non consecutive termed president

And he was the first recorded Presidential Baby Daddy.

That is the Royal Flush Presidential frippery.

It trumps these tasty presidential nuggets:

James Polk's "K"

Chester A. Arthur's' facial hair

William Henry Harrison dying only after a month

President Garfield hated Monday's

Harry Truman beating Dewey in a game of horse that turned the 1952 election in his favor. Dewey could not duplicate Truman's rim rocking tomahawk jam.

Old Pork and Beans - William Howard Taft could beat box like a young Doug E Fresh, sadly there was no Russell Simmons or Rick Rubin around to sign him.


But in my search of useless Presidential knowledge I have found a new shinning star of Presidential nonsense.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I present to you Warren G. Harding.

Not only did he have G in his name, the man was a G by making sure the White House was stocked with liquor during Prohibition.

Warren was also a player with the ladies while in the White House. He too may have Federlined a couple of his lady acquaintances. This did not make Mrs. Harding very happy.

Had the largest feet ever of a sitting or standing president, size 14. If it was not for his scandals it would have been the Warren G. Harding Big Ass Clown Shoe Bridge, not the Golden Gate.

Supposedly lost a china set that belonged to Benjamin Harrison in a poker game. White House historians say false, just like John Quincy Adams victory over the Martian King in a backgammon match. I say they are lying and that both are true.

Four Words - Tea Pot Dome Scandal

Lastly the one that may move him into the # 1 spot, Harding did not die of a heart attack. He may have been the first case of Pac-Man Fever. Thanks to that stupid time machine that William McKinley left lying around.

But to today I close this salute to President's day with this question that I would like to throw out to you after reading this Yahoo article

Bush compares Revolutionary, terror wars.

Um, Mr. President I think you may have things mixed up. You see your actions are more along the lines of the other George involved with the Revolutionary War. You know King George, but unlike him Mr. Bush you are truly mad and not suffering from a medical condition that King George was.

So my question is this, if George Washington knew that the future of America held George W. Bush, would he have just surrendered shortly after Bunker Hill?

Thank you everyone, please enjoy the tacos.

He is wanted for grand theft. He is stealing this season of Extras. Which is no easy task mind you when you have moments like:

- David Bowie's appearance where Andy thinking he finally getting some respect, but ends up with Mr. Bowie breaking into spontaneous song about how Andy's pathetic life.

- Orlando Bloom getting shot down over and over by Maggie

- Getting caught in a bathroom stall by the BAFTA organizers after his agent (seen above) drags him in trying to get him to snort some Colombian Marching Powder with him and British comedy actor Ronnie Corbet (who looks like the woman that Andy lost his virginity when he was 28 and drunk, but that another story) and now Andy is banned from either winning or going to the BAFTA, well he can go to the Welsh BAFTA's.

- Chris Martin doing his PSA all the while he is trying to push the new Coldplay Greatest Hits

- Then there is Daniel Radcliffe, Henry Potter himself, trying way too hard and quiet unsuccessfully to try to be some kind of Lothario on set. Who in his stumbling attempt to be something he is not, accidentally flings a condom that lands Dame Daine Rigg head.

Add those moments with the bumbling of his agent and you have priceless comedy. I did not think Mr. Gervais could top the Office, but this is getting to that level.

So damn you Ricky, damn you and your wonderful show.

So if you are not watching it, I command you do to so!

Hello everyone, sorry the blog has been sub-standard of late. It has been nuts here at the hospital, but I always seem to be saying that.

I know everyone thinks today is just Valentines Day, but you are wrong. It is the birthday of this spectacular human being.

Go stop by and wish him well.

Along with that I hope everyone has a nice Valentines Day.

I should have seen it coming. There I was crowing how I can now injure or maim myself. Well little did I know I would have to put my new benefits into action. Tuesday morning after a crappy night of sleep when I got out of my car to go into the office, I was mugged and assaulted by the flu, that bastard. Man I felt sore, cold so in a word awful. I tired to get through a the day at work but thankfully I was ordered home. Thankfully it was only the flu, I was worried I had been struck down by Pro-Bowl Fever, hey it's catching.

So since that Tuesday I have been trying to recover from that viral ass beating. So today with they help of the love of my wonderful wife and powerful antibiotics I can see colors again. So I hope to be back blogging with my usual nonsense.

Well Super Bowl XLI is in the books. I want to apologize to everyone out there for not giving you my pick before the game, it could have helped out some of you degenerates out there. The game kinda went the way I expected, well at least with the under, but I thought the Bears would have covered the 7. Again that is why I am blogging to you at lunch instead of puttering about town in my solid gold rocket car.

The score I saw for the game was Indy 26 Chicago 20, but I put too much faith in Rex Grossman.

Here are some of my observations:

Sunday was a perfect reason why L.A. or Orange County should have an NFL franchise back. Miami rainy, Los Angeles 85 and sunny. I have more reasons to support why this area should get a team back, but I will not bore you with that right now.

The "performance" by Cirque de Soleil before the game might be the best PSA to keep people off of drugs, since the fired egg PSA's. I kept waiting for Mr. Mackey to say, "mmm drugs are bad".

The commercial were so-so, the only one that I agreed with was Emerald Nuts ad. You see Robert Goulet is an a office gremlin, whose only goals in life are to belt out a tune, and steal the TPX Cover sheets. To me it crystallized why Elvis shot out a TV when he heard Robert signing on TV. Maybe Elvis knew this all along and he felt that Mr. Goulet had to be stopped. Or maybe it was the 36 pounds of drugs Elvis consumed a day.

So did you take the over/under on Billy Joel singing the National Anthem in under 1:42. If you took the under you were a winner!

The first quarter was great. Nothing like a game opening kickoff return for a TD. After that it was just not pretty football.

Made a killing during the game, well I got my money for winning my fantasy football league. So I felt like I won betting on football.

Speaking of sloppy football, great game Sex Cannon.

Stat of the Night - The Bear offense did not run a play for 57 real-time minutes. That time includes half-time. That is not going to get it done, but it did keep the Bears in the game in that Rex could not do anymore damage. But I did hear he threw three picks in the locker room as well.

Bring on more Manning ads. I am glad for the guy in that he can just go out and play now. It will no longer be about Florida, New England or protection problems. He has put up and now the critics will have to shut it, for a little while.

Speaking of Manning, I wonder if this off-season in between his commercial shoots, will he take his new car (which I think him getting the MVP was BS, Should have given it to Addai and Rhodes) and do doughnuts on Brady's and Spurrier's lawn.

Oh the Bears finally converted a 3rd down, almost 24 hours after the Colts left the field.

The Bears could be in for a bigger loss. Right now they still have not resigned Lovie Smith to a contract. Lovie may go an interview for the Cowboy job, if not him then surely it will be his defensive coordinator Ron Rivera. Now if there was more than one job open they could have lost both of them. This is where the rule about assistants have to wait to be finished with the playoffs before they could interview saves the Bears.

Speaking of selections, I am alright with the Hall of Fame class this year. I am not a huge Michael Irvin fan, but he did deserve to go, even with all the baggage. Art Monk, should get in, but it shows that the NFL Hall of Fame voting is as screwed up as Baseball. That is another long blog rant for another day. It was good to see Roger Wehrli a great DB (6 Pro Bowls and named to the All 70's Teams) who played on bad teams get in. The thing that shocked me along with the continued snubbing of the Broncos. Was former commissioner Paul Tagilibue was not elected. When he stepped down he was hailed as a hero and he got the CBA done, or so I thought. It has not been ratified so we could see football meltdown if they do not get it fixed. If that happens they will blame Tags. So do not be surprised if Paul tries to help with the negotiations.

Congrats to Dungy for his win, I think yesterday we all would be happy no matter who won him or Lovie (unless you had a house payment on the losing team), since both appear to be, since I have no personal experience with either, genuine nice guys. The color of their skin should not matter, they can flat out coach. One had to get their with no-defense and the other had to get their without a QB. Chew on that.

Speaking of coaches, a sign that the Raiders new coach may be in trouble. Lane Kiffin the son of the Bucs Defensive Coordinator is leaving his job as Offensive coordinator to take the Chernobyl of the NFL. Let's say that he did not garner much respect from his charges at USC. Who gave him the nickname Coach Lunchmoney. Many people here in the who are Trojan fans are happy to see him, go. I am not since I want USC to take a nose dive. Now Lane has tried to bring in some veteran coaches to help out, but rumor has it that Lane has tired to contact Randy Moss after being hired and Moss wont call back since he wanted Rex Ryan to coach. So I am hoping that this continue the Raider downward spiral.

Prince - I think that next to the first quarter his performance was the best part of the game. Okay, the "I Love Lucy" head scarf not the greatest idea, but considering the conditions he did a great job. I have seen him live and the guy flat out is fantastic in concert and unlike the Bears he sucked it up and got the job done. I wanted the halftime show to be boring so I could get up, but it didn't. Kudos small purple dude, kudos.

Mr. Spade I have been pissed that I have been waiting for the "Showbiz Show" to come back. That you decided to get a show and forsake us. Well, after seeing the promos, should I set my Tivo to start up with the Showbiz Show in about a month or two months?

My wife's Carmel corn kicks ass.

Beer, football, friends and Carmel corn kick is a great way to spend a Sunday.

When will they finally realize that the Monday after the Super Bowl should be a Holiday as well.

Break out the sharp objects and firearms, I officially have health coverage again!

To quote from the Mark Harmon seminal work (outside his performance on the Battle of The Network Stars) Summer School,

"Enough of the safe and sane crap, it is time to get dumb and dangerous!"


WHOOOHOOOO!

Excuse me I have to go run with scissors!

So it looks like Der Popemeister will use the same publishers that published the Da Vinci Code.

Excuse me Popey, didn't you spend sometime last year trashing the book and the movie? It was along the lines of "blasphemous" I believe were you words.

Oh Popey, what are we going to do with you?

Again I am sorry to my Catholic peeps out there (As if my opinion matters since I am not the greatest Catholic. I do fancy myself a modern day Catholic Constructive Deist), I just have not been able to warm up to Der Pope Ratsenkeller.

Well if this book does not go well, I wonder if the Vatican will still go ahead with the Pope's first feature film,

"Bless it Like Benedict"

I am worried it will be all action and no plot. Look Michael Bay is directing need I say more.

Please do not take your anger out on The Aqua Teen Hunger Force for what happened today. It was not their fault, they are just your average wad of meat, milkshake, and fries, trying to fight crime and piss off their neighbor Karl.

A note for the people at The Cartoon Network, you may want to rethink your marketing strategy. I am thinking that this can't just be blamed on a unpaid intern. Heads will roll, oh they will roll.

Reading my last entry that is. Jeez, if it was any longer I would have had to give it own year-end review.

I know from time to time I give writers like Faulkner, Proust and Hugo, crap about flapping the ink gums. I am pretty certain that when (and a big if) I get to the pearly gates or a bus stop in Boise. I will be met by those gentlemen who will then beat the ever living crud out of me. I can see them now kicking me and yelling, "oh you want a comma, here's a comma, a comma to your groin sir!"

Well kids it has been awhile since I last baked up something new for you here at the Old Blog O’ Fun. Well thankfully, for you very few but proud readers, or un-thankfully for any English teacher out there, I am back. Well I am going to try to be back. Wow work has been busy. Before I begin I would like to say to all those English teachers out there I am going to reach out to the community. I am going to try to give something back. I am in works to produce an AfterSchool Special. It is a heart-wrenching tale about a boy who abused English grammar and who had a spell check dependency problem. The special is titled, “The Boy Who Could Not Get Their From Hear. The Boski Story”.

So I am going to just dump the Mental Superfund Site that is my head and give you some of my random and probably radioactive thoughts, in no particular order.

- I hope everyone reviewed my championship picks and made a ton of money better on the Colts and Bears.

- I wonder how Thurston taking it that Lovie is at the Super Bowl.


- I only have 13 days to prepare for my Pro Bowl Party and I still have so much to do.


- What will I do when football is over? I may actually wander outside.


- So with Payton Manning making it to Super Bowl XLI, I wonder what the over under on ads featuring him will be. I think the early line is MMCXXIV. I am taking the over.


- Again I am suffering at the hands of Time Warner Halliburton. I have found out that along with a Special they have been playing going over the greatest Super Bowl Teams, they have also been playing the rebroadcasts of past Super Bowls. So I missed the chance to watch and TIVO the glory that was Super Bowl XXXII. When the Broncos beat the 11-½ point favorite Packers. The game would have been a blowout if Terrell Davis had not missed the 2nd Quarter and if Eugene Robinson had decide that he would part take in finding a independent contractor in the fornication industry. Just like he did the next year, right after accepting an award from a Christian Athletic Award the night before the Super Bowl. So again damn you TWH and damn me for not getting a dish.


- So it appears that people are upset with Kevin Federline doing a Super Bowl commercial. In the ad it shows him flipping burgers. Think about it, even I agree with the ad, I can see that those who flip burgers would not want to be associated with that.

- Work has been so hectic as I mentioned before and I do like what I do and the people I work with, but I have noticed one problem. I can’t watch medical shows the same anymore. I get angry every time the physicians screw up. Because that means more work some poor factious character who slaving away in Quality/Risk Management. And no, they don’t show the real cool people like me. The only time they show anyone they make the Quality/Risk person out to be really A-hole.

- Even though I love my Sirius, I have found radio gold on crappy terrestrial radio. The Petros and Money Show. Yes I know they look goofy, but it is my new crack addiction. Now they have to be good because if you know me two of my sport hates are USC and the Chicago Cubs. Petros was a former team captain for the Trojan (but the worst Trojan team in school history) and Money who is a huge Cubs fans, but I had listen to him as replaced Jimmy Kimmel as the sports guy on KROQ. But it is 3 hours of sports, musical and pop culture references. If you add some circus music then you have what my goes on in my head.


- I realized the other problem when football season ends; I will have to come to grips with the mess that is the L.A. Kings. I was looking at the sports page. It listed the Campbell Conference (I can kick it Old School NHL) standings. The Kings were so far down, if you looked at is quickly you would think that they were 4th or 5th in the Prince of Wales Conference.


- A few words on David Beckham. Thanks David the money being spent on you better be worth it, since I may have to suffer though years of bad hockey for it (See above) Yes A.E.G., (Owners of the Kings) I know that you have a huge stake in the MLS and you are trying to grow the sport. But you couldn’t have given the Kings some of that scratch. Any way the problem with US Soccer is two fold. One it will never reach football or baseballs status. Two, we do not need aging mid fielders who are great with direct kicks and putting a ball on a guys foot from 50 yards, we need a freaking striker that put the fear of god into opponents come World Cup time. Work on that.


- Man it has been cold. Yes cold even for Southern California. This winter has been even more chillier than usual. How do I know, look, when you go to the store and see that your orange juice is now $8, it’s cold.


- Along with the cold it has been very dry. Dry to the point that Steven Wright would feel uncomfortable. Dry to the point, I may be killed or seriously injured by static electricity. My car is the biggest culprit. Getting shocked when opening or closing the door, and even when I am kissing the Better Half as I drop her off at work. When I go to my car in the morning I should know that I am in for a long day of shocks when I see my car covered in socks.


- Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles – kicks ass.

- Hello 1983 calling, hello. The Police begin rehearsals. Now this had better not be a joke, because I have to find away to see them. First I hear that the Happy Mondays and these guys are back together and playing Coachella. What is it reunion season, what is next Morrissey and Johnny Marr going to actually get into a room?


- Russia considers investigating Uranium Theft. Yeah, you may want to look into that, but hey what danger could arise from Uranium?


- Poor Barbaro.

- Will someone also please put an end to these awful spoof movies? Did we really need “Epic Movie”?


- Can they just end American Idol? I know people love seeing the nonsense of the delusional ones who think they can sing at the beginning, but this needs to end for the love of god.

- Got my tickets and my hotel room for Tuscon to go catch some Spring Training. I have to see who is left since Trader Kenny went a little nuts this off-season.

- Stay classy Miami’s Cuban Exiles – Exiles Plan Huge Party When Castro Dies. Look the dude is an asshole, I am not going to argue that, but when that day comes what will be done for the people of Cuba, are things going to revert back to the days of Batistia and if my memory is correct that is what caused the mess to begin with.


- Is it me, and I could be wrong, but I have notices the flags around here are still at half-mast. I thought the period of mourning for Ford had already passed. My goodness it seems the flags are at half-mast longer than he was president.

- I know earlier in my rambling I mentioned TIVO the bestest invention ever. But I finally found a huge flaw in it. It is a flaw that I hope is fixed. The problem I have is this. Right now you can give a program either a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down. But the three thumbs down just does not fit my true feelings, when I want to label any Fox News programs. Seriously, Bill O’Reilly deserves more than three thumbs. Like Dirty Larry he gets the finger!


- Speaking of Fox News, it appears they will be showing The Path to 9/11 with the more ridiculous errr controversial segments of the movie put back in. Call me suspicious but why do I feel somehow the Fair and Balanced people at Fox will be CGI’ing in Hilary Clinton into the movie to make it look like she called off the hit on Bin Laden, or showing Barack Obama giving Al-Qaida weapons and fake visas, and maybe a scene of Nancy Pelosi and her “San Francisco values” distracting Airport Security allowing the terrorist to slip. Since as Fox tells us they all hated America.

- Speaking of Hilary, I just don’t know if I could back her. If she wins the ticket then that is what we have, but I am just not a huge supporter of her. Not that she or any woman could not be president. Hell, Hillary is probably better qualified than most to take the position. Now I know she regrets voting for the war, but it took he a while to get to her position now. It has the hint of following popular opinion than true conviction. She would have to do a lot to make me change my opinion. Also all the Republicans and the Fox News' of the world have been waiting for the day Hillary would announce. They have been prepping for this day ever since Bill won the 1992 election. They have been waiting to do the mother of all swift boats. Maybe we are at a point where that would not work anymore, but I am afraid that it would take everyone away from the issues and again on things that don’t matter and as we have seen there are too many out there who will vote against their best interest just because of some sound bite. Also we do not need to hear from Alleged toe-sucking Woman of the Night partaking Dick Morris.

- Oh hey Rush, I think they may finally have your size in robes from the Klan. Seriously Rush what is with that Obama Half-Rican Bullshit. You are such turd soufflé.

- Now since I have wadded into the abysmal world of GW. Well George it seems that you are going to continue to F things up by sending more troops into Iraq. Even though the people and many in Congress feel this is another bad idea. Oh no you are the Decider and you have decided to f’ it up more. Well Mr. Bush, I think the idea is splendid one, but there are two small problems. First is a surge is a shade late, but hey what is a couple of years. Also that surge # is about right 20,000, but only if you multiplied by ten asshole! And where are those troops coming from. Oh that's right we can take them from Afghanistan, since everything is hunky dory there. This mess is beyond a military solution and we need a political solution. Hell right now we are probably training an Army and police force that will turn around and turn on us, leading to a probable complete melt down of the Middle East. Instead of a leader we a goof ball who doing a great impression of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." And George instead of brooms with buckets of water flooding the basement we have militias rampaging a country. Mr. President you have seen Fantasia haven’t you? No I am not talking about the person who won American Idol. Oh that is right you tried to watch it but the pink elephants had you having flash backs to the Skull and Bone days at Yale, or what ever Community College/ Special Ed classes they told you was Yale. When you and your frat buddy got drunk and paddled each other in some sick and twist Masonic ritual. You are a freaking peach sir!


- Hey as for your Library at SMU which will probably make Ronald Reagan’s look like the Library of Congress. Hearing that they would be building the Bush library reminded me of a gag that was on the old “Not Necessarily the News” where Reagan’s advised were standing around a index card holder and reading all of Reagan’s “papers”. I see that for W., but it would just be his copy of Superfudge which he still has not finished and most of his signing statements on a VeiwMaster. The thing that truly sucks about it is not a presidential library, but that the university also has to accept a conservative think tank along with it. Excuse me President Douchebag this is a library not a bill where you can a stupid rider to it.


- Speaking of that, how about the GOP sinking minimum wage. Classy as always.

- As for the President’s baby sitter Dick Cheney. Hey Mr. Cheney fuck you! I say that in the most complementary of way, since that is probably how you used it on Pat Lahey. How could looking into a camera and say that we have achieved a great deal in Iraq. Outside of Haliburton bottom line, what have we done well there? But I should not be surprised since you have no soul and you are a vortex of evil. I know one of things I have heard on why impeachment is not being bandied about is if W is impeached the nation will be left with Cheney as President. So really no change other than George’s mouth would stop moving. But I think that it should not matter since Cheney should be bounced out of the White House for treason. He worked so hard to cover up the bogus intelligence and his work to blunt any investigations into it. Also for dropping a dime on a CIA op. For all of this I do hope you have a cell with Karl Rove (who also had to be in on the Plame issue). The two of you could pick out a nice China pattern when you finally have your commitment ceremony, not that there is anything wrong with that. Out of all of this we still do not know what they hell your secret energy committee meeting was all about. They way things are going, along with helping your Buddy Ken Lay, you probably laid out plans to attack Iraq and make a killing on the oil. And just to go all Oliver Stone on it, but did Ken Lay have a heart attack just before he was going away to protect your secret. Hmmmmmm.

- Even though I don't watch 24 (I plan to change that) I think we really need Jack Bauer to fix this.


Okay that is a lot from a very small brain. I have to get back to the fun and glamour.

Pro Football is ramping up for it's biggest event. I know you are all thinking about it, I know I am. I can just see it now.

Yes, 2007 Pro Bowl. Awesome, I know. Man, nothing beats seeing the best football players walk through a glorified touch football game. But before we get to that we have to settle this NFL Playoffs and get to that paltry Super Bowl thingy.

So lets look at what we have have for Championship Weekend

Let me put on my ill fitting handicapping cap, yes the one that cuts off blood to my head so I make awful picks.


New Orleans at Chicago (-2) O/U 43 America's newest Sweethearts (Saints) vs. Deadspin's and Kissing Suzy Kolber's favorite son, Rex the Sex Cannon Grossman. Him and Kyle Orton may have contributed to at least 29% of the entries on Deadspin, and 40% on KSK, since 2005. To me this one is all about the weather. Temperature is not the issue, it will be if there is either rain, snow, sheet or sweat from the Superfans. With a dry track the Saints should be able to move the ball even if it below zero. I am going to go with the Saints only because I think they have enough firepower to counter the Bears D which has not been sterling that last few months.

Saints 28 Bears 24

New England at Indianapolis (-3) 47.5 Sadly I have fallen into the camp of I hate that both of these teams are here and that we have to have a week of near ProBowl Hype...er Super Bowl Hype for this game. But I will be a bigger blogger and rise above that. This is and should be a great game, no matter who wins. Even if that means dealing with the Pats continuing dynasty, or the 8 million more Payton Manning TV spots that will be done, if they win this game, and then add another 8 million more on top of that as well. Both of these teams have made it here overcoming some tough obstacles.

The Colts beat an undeserving Chiefs team who should have been at home watching the Broncos beat the Colts, and then pull off a Steeleresque Postseason run to win Super Bowl 41, and make a little blogger from Costa Meas very happy. Again I think I have veered off course. But the Colts did beat the Chiefs and the Ravens in a very un-Colt like way. Great D and spotty O. As for the Pats, sadly Tom Brady is better than all of us and we should just give in. I think God looks down and gets pissed at Brady for being as good as he has been. This does not mean I will stop rooting against Brady, I just acknowledge that by doing that I will be on the short side almost every time, except when he face the Broncos, who have bested him 3 of the last 4 times they have met and that includes Brady's only playoff loss. There again the Bronco fan in me is getting carried away, and I will remind myself that Brady has three rings and we have not been in the Super Bowl since 1999. So suck it Boski!

So what does this mean for Sunday. Well it means that we will see an epic battle where through no fault of his own Manning will crowned King of "Can't Win the Big One". Because I think the Pats will grind it out at the very end and beat the Colts with their rookie kicker after a Vineteri miss. This is the Colts' shot, and if they lose this one they will be haunted by this for years.

Pats 37 Colts 35

Other quick NFL notes:

Ron Mexico (cough, cough, cough) what were you (cough, cough) thinking man? You can't bring (cough, cough) water bottles on a plane. Especially one that got the (cough, cough) Chronic.

Dolphins hire Kirk Cameron as they new head coach. Oh sorry about that. I meant Cam Cameron, but if this ends up like his stint at Indiana, then even Alan Thicke won't be able to save them.

Football All-American will play for the Cubs. I have a feeling that he will get hit more as Cubs pitcher than as a football player.

If the Steelers select Russ Grimm as their coach, will it be a fairy tale story.


I have to go, the Better Half and I are having dinner with some friends. So I will be back Monday with more nonsense.

Have a good weekend.

I thought that Walter Mondale was dead, but apparently he is not. Which is good because that means he can take a swipe at Darth Cheney while with the living,

Former VP Mondale criticize Cheney.

Unlike Gerald Ford, who waited till he cut the mortal coil to take a shot at the bastards that is the Administration.

At 72, Hylton plans comeback at Daytona 500

Hey I am glad this a guy who wants to pursue a dream and he is not letting his age stop him, but I think Mr. Hylton is going to face some problems:

The beating he gets for driving at 40 mph for the whole race

Double that beat down when he drives the whole race with his blinker on

Hip(s) popping out in one of the turns if he does hit triple digits

No one in the pit crew is going to touch that catheter

Other racing teams will sabotage his racing by making false reports in the pit area about when Matlock is coming on

Will infuriate racing sponsors when pull over and falls asleep after two laps of a night race, since he is up way too late

Will cause a multiple vehicle crash when dentures fly out

Will cause furor when he takes his grandkids along in the car

Another reason why I am not a NASCAR fan. First its not a sport, two it wastes gas and three now it is being used to endanger the elderly.

If someone one was to go into the adult video industry and they where to base their operations in Afghanistan, would the name of the operation be "The Mujaobscene"?

Just asking.