Boski's Blogopoluza!

Back from lunch and I was able to hold sloth at bay for an hour. Got two things accomplished. One, went to Costco and picking up a few things. Two, getting outside in this beautiful 80 degree weather(It is about freaking time). So I can now say today was not a complete waste.

To top it all, listening to NWA's "Straight Out of Compton". Nothing like seeing MC Wonderbread here listening to Old School Gangsta rap.

Sweet.

I can say I have achieved very little today. Other than my doctoral paper on the Broncos off-season, I can safely say that today is a waste. No ones hassling me. So I am just chilling, reading blogs, posting on this sorry, blog, writing scary letters to Ruth Buzzi and planning to get Illka Sinisalo, Teemu Selanne, and Saku Koivu together and form either an Asia tribute band or jug band, not sure yet. Off to lunch.

As baseball approaches my minds wanders to. Drum roll please......the NFL. I am kind of curious about what is going on with the Broncos. I not so sure about this whole lets get the entire Cleveland Brown Defensive Front plan. I hope this is not Cleveland revenge for punking them in three AFC Championship Games. But hey we need DT and DE's. Our pass rush was craptastic. We need bigger and more talented bodies to free up the LB's. Right now the thought is they are going to try the Patriot hybrid and mix in 3-4 and 4-3 fronts. Which is great, if it works. But maybe we will see that (please excuse me for saying this) Butch Davis was right that these are good players, but he could not coach for shit at the pro level.

Quick thoughts on transactions this off season:

Hamilton (Resigned) - They needed to keep him, heir to play Center when Nalen hangs it up.

Neil (FA)- I think he will be back at a lower cost, no one has picked him up, yet.

Hayward (Lost FA Jacksonville)- He was alright, but not at the price Jacksonville paid. He may be worth it with Henderson and Stroud, but they said the same thing with Hugh Douglas.

Warren (Trade) - I think he will be worth a 4th round pick. He better be, since we will not have a 4th and 5th this year. Thank god we got the two 3rd round free-agent compensation picks, or the draft would really suck this year.

Herndon (Restricted FA Lost SEA)- He played very well, at least until the Indy beat down. But they could not afford him and they were not going to get any compensation for him. This means that Walls has to stay health. We need him to match up against Moss in the Red Zone. We also need Middlebrooks to prove he is not a bust, and someone else needs to step up.

Putizer (Restricted FA Resigned)- Listen Jeb, catch the ball in the Red Zone and you will keep your family feed.

Alexander (FA) - I am not sold on him, but they need more options in the passing game especially near the goal line.

Gold (FA) - Great to have him back. Thanks you Jon Gruden for renting him for a year. That rental got us a 3rd round draft pick as compensation, this year. I love having him back as a weapon to rush the QB and run with RB and TE's in space. If they can stay healthy this is a great LB group on paper. Now they just have to play up to their potential.

Burns, Leach and Baker (FA and resigns) - Please do not suck, our special teams suck enough. Hopefully Burns will provide leadership. Leach - long snapping is the NFL version of crafty left hander. These guys stay in forever. All I ask is do not go Trey Junkin on us. Baker, the first kickoff you knock out of bounds, you are getting a 5-iron beat down.

Carsile (Re-signed) - The team is high on him and enough so that they did not have Neil come back, so hopefully their faith will be rewarded.

Droughns (Traded to Cleveland) - I am sorry to see him go, but with Griffin, Bell and Anderson it would not be fair to him. Also the team like Johnson in the FB slot. The team really needs a hammerhead with some hands in the FB spot. They need to find the heir to Howard Griffith. The unsung hero of the Super Bowl years.

Brown - (FA) Please, please try to stay healthy and make some kind of impact. You do not have to go to the Pro Bowl, but make some plays.

Ekuban (Trade from Cleveland) Great name, please go Alfred Williams on us and surprise up with you ability. Give us a consistent presence off the edge and don't be a liability against the run.

Myers (Trade from Cleveland) I will buy the hockey mask, just as long as you go all Crystal Lake over the opponents. He will fill the need for a big ugly in the middle along with Warren.

Pryce (????) I do not know where I stand on this. DL who can rush the passer and post against the run are rare these days. Anyone who can play every down is vital, but what do you do? He has a huge cap number, which he has earned. But he sat out almost all of last season because of a back injury. So he might be damaged goods. Right now, I still leaning toward keeping him and try to rework his contract, because now they DL that is a good deal better than last year's. But if they can swing something to move up in the first to get a play maker WR or DB then do it, or get picks for next year. I will miss him if he goes. The man wore 93 and did not look like a fool doing it.

Well Mike, the ball is your court. You have the final say in the personnel moves and you have kept this team winning since Elway, but we have not won when it counts. Look like I have drunk the Kool-Aid don't make me regret it.

Well it looks like my quick observation has turned in a Proust-fest. Don't worry it is not as bad as the Creative Writing project I did in college on the Broncos which ended up be hand written 12 pages, front and back. And that was just my memories from '77 till '92. I am a sad little man.

Sadly this has become a lost art. I can not stay a sleep, at nights. I sleep in 2 hours shifts, then I am up, but usually I get back to some kind of sleep. Well except last night. I just could not get to sleep. When the alarm went off me to go to the gym, I was fried. I just could not get up and get going. To make things worse, I still could not get any real rest after that. I laid there tired, but I could not even get a hour worth of sleep. So I am trashed for today. This is starting to piss the hell out of me. I do not remember the last time I slept uninterrupted through the night. Arrrrgggghhhhh.

Hello kids, I back. I had to go take care of very personal business yesterday. My brother and I went out to Apple Valley to see a family friend who is very ill.

When did Rancho Cucamonga go from being a punch line to a major suburb? Well it is still a punchline. It is not worth it people. I know housing prices suck and it is a crime that people can not find affordable housing in the areas they would like, but come on. Oh sure, you have a lovely home, but all the money you saved will go to gas and A/C. So you live in Hisperia, but you work in LA. Is four hours in you car worth it? That's right I didn't think so. I have no problem with people living there, but have a plan and develop a proper infrastructure. The High Desert is such a beautiful place, if you remove the Meth'd out Mullet's of the 909 and the land developers who are running amok. I like being out there, and would love to spend time in it, away from the all the crap. Yesterday was spectacular seeing the snow on the mountains from the other side, without the smog. That is what I love not seeing rows and rows of cookie cutter homes.

The Joshua Tree, not only a great album, but a wonderful place it see. A place I will go and see one day.

Coming back was tough, if we did not have to be anywhere my brother and I thought "we can get to State Line in two hours." Just two hours away from the Bonnie and Clyde Death car. I so badly need to get to Las Vegas.

More on that later.

Well had a decent weekend. The wife and I got out Saturday and took in the Irvine Farmers Market and plundered what we needed. Then went to my friend The King of the Desert Hooligans and his wife's home for their daughters second birthday. They thanked us for bring a gift that did not make noise. I had a good time even though most of the kids their were more mature than me and probably better behaved. My wife had too worry about her 33 year old "child" running around the yard like a crazy person with the kids. I think a six year old asked me to "grow up".

After hanging out there, we had to shuffle off to wife's alumni even for her university. It was a small group this time, but we had fun. My wife organized a night of dinner and some lacrossey goodness. Which was a great game. I was glad the Anaheim decided pull their heads out and not blow another 3 goal lead late in the game. Oh they tried and allowed San Jose to score with under a minute of regulation. But that just meant we were going to be treated to "Free Lacrosse".

Sunday got up and went to Mass at 11, which was not too bad. I did not have someone ramming their elbow into my ribs for an hour. But after that finally got back to playing my PS2. It was so good to play Madden again. But I forgot that I need to readjust the setting. It was on a lower skill level. I knew something was not right when I was taking Frankfurt and putting up 56 points on Colonge with J.T. O'Sullivan. Yeah, I know I was using two NFLE teams but still I am not that good to be putting up a 56 spot on someone in the first half. Speaking of not right, I am going to do the following.

Sunday afternoon watched clips of the Easter Egg Hunt and Egg Roll on the White House lawn. I will say that Congress needs to look at testing these kids. There were quite a few of these kids that just did not seem right.

Quite a few kids with serious back acne.

One kid had a horn growing out of there head.

Nothing like seeing 6 year olds with 11 inch arms.

One seven-year old knocked over Marine One.

BALCO President and Tower Power Bass Player - Victor Conte was the MC.

There was also an adorable set of twin girls who did every well in the competition. They were so cute with their pig tails, their Easter bonnets and their matching Mark McGwire goatees.

Finally, the kid who really impressed me was this 4 year old who did had 4.45 40 time. The kids has a future in the NFL, along with egg hunts, but the kid is only 33 inches tall, so he would not match up well against the bigger wide receivers. Also the kid only did 9 reps of 225 and he colored all over the Wonderlick. I think this kid should not come out for the draft yet. It would be best if they could get another year of Kindercare, but the NFL needs DB's. We will just have to wait and see.

Sunday night had a lovely Easter dinner with my family, except for one who out of town on business and could not get back. We went to my oldest brother's mother-in-law's home. Everyone had a good time, even me until midway through dinner when I decided to wallow in my own self-hate, which was brought on by my nemesis, myself. I had one of those, "what they hell are you doing with you life?" And "why are you still underachieveing at this point in your life"? So I moped the rest of the night. I tried to play it off as being tired and having a lot on my mind. Sadly, I do this time to time. I just wish I wouldn't have done it, so I could have enjoyed being with the people I love.

Just when you thinks things can't get any stranger.

For what its worth, I still think the Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall is better.

Oh wait, I just remembered, I do have something that will top that. Listen yo, 911 is a joke. Especially, if you can't get your burger, your way.

I both laughed and cried over this one. Laughed because this woman took the time to call 911, about her burger. Then cried because that woman lives in Orange County. Someone needs to take the kids away from her.

Thanks ATC for the link.

Last night, my 80's tie chances of being in the hunt for one of my pools was saved thanks to the Illini, Louisville and Arizona. But I am pretty sure that UNC right now is enjoy a pre-game meal of bad clams and poorly prepard pork. I look for them to foul things up tonight. But there was some good hoops at least. Hey any time Bobby Knight loses, its a good thing.

As I prepare to head home, I see that the Illini are only up 4 to UWM. If the UWM wins, I am so going Frank DeFazio on their asses, until they are just a pile of Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The player I most want to see come out of the NFL draft and be a star is Craphonso Thorpe. I can already see Mel Kiper piping in, "Well the Saints really stepped into it, with that pick." Oh the scatological humor to be had.

Here's to you Mr. Thorpe may you be the crappiest draft selection, since Ryan Leaf.

Oh Pat O'Brien, what hilarity are you up to next. I hope everyone takes the time to listen to Pat dialing while drunk. It makes me ponder a hypothetical (Which should be a band name). Do you think these kind of phone calls were made back in the 70's and 80's? Do you think a person like Foster Brooks would get on the phone and make obscene calls to Angie Dickinson, Betty White and Charles Nelson Reilly, while liquored up? For all of those concerned and want to keep up on Pat. I recommend that you go here to get a "first hand" account on how Pat is doing. Remember Pat, courage.

Must give credit to TWS site for the "Insider" dirt on Pat and his addiction to Vodka and schlocky self-promotion. I know, I know I should not kick the guy when he is down, but it is the only chance I can kick and then run away unharmed.

A couple of days ago a ran across an SNL sketch I had forgotten about.

Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Best dam salesman in the office!

Some of my favorites:

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

And just like the Death Star it will probably get blown apart, but I have tried to make this look like a grown up blog, not one a parent puts on the fridge. Well it is a start. I am almost proud of myself, until I realize a chimp could have done this...weeks ago.

I have always wondered about if there was a hierarchy for the following groups:

Hobos
Bums
Vagabond's
Tramps
Gypsy's
Carneys
etc.

It is a question that has always vexed me. I need to know! I must know the correct etiquette when I am amongst them. For example, would it be offensive if I showed up to Hobo hootenanay, with a couple of Bums? Would I be insulting their Hobo King, or duly elected Hobo Representative? If so then what? Should I expect to be cut by a band of blood-thirsty hobos? Could I bargain my way out with beef jerky? So as you can see I am in dire need of knowledge on this subject. So please if you have a heart you will help.

Thank you, now please enjoy Ultimate Fighting Championship featuring Glass Tiger.

ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH. I hate that we are still having real weather. This is Southern California, it only rains for about 7 to 10 days and that is it. The rest of the time it's 70's and 80's.
Even our local news is getting board with the rain. They have called off Storm Watch 2005 due to indifference.

In my opinion, this current storm is just Jesus crying that Pat O'Brien is in rehab. NOOOOOOO! What about the Insider? Who is going to shamelessly drop names and be a whore for celebrates. Why did they have get Pat, he was so young!

My god, if we lose the 'The Insider' then the Terrorists have won. We will have only 20 hours of daily programming dedicated to entertainment news. We can not let the American people be forced to watch the "real" news. Some of them may accidentally go to news outlets that actually talk about the news. News outlets that are not "fair & balanced"/prepackaged/fake.

I think this country can come together and rally behind it beloved entertainment news. Right now they need us more than ever. Pat O'Brien would want us to.

Courage.

The 'Back to Future Franchise' would have sucked major ass, it if wasn't for this guy. Let' see if Bob Zemeckis gets a sequel, if tried using a Reliant K Car.

John DeLorean has left us for that big auto manufacturer in the sky. Either that, or he is really sleepy. I would like to thank him for creating the greatest stainless steel, cocaine induced auto ever to be manufacturer in Northern Ireland. Thanks for helping trying to give so folks jobs. But you will be missed you Coke selling, wacky gull-winged auto designing, Day-Time TV Hostess marring, crazy S.O.B.

But on a darker note, I am shocked and saddened beyond all reasonable thought. I have not been this sad since, the Chief died on 'Gimme a Break' . What is America doing to protect it's 80's icons. We have already lost Falco. And who did not cry when science proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pia Zdroa had no talent. Right now many of this national treasures are at risk. Has any one heard from Skippy from 'Family Ties' or Boner from 'Growing Pains'? Are Men Without Hats, still hatless? Where are all the Atari 2600's? Look people we have to get on this, or one day we will wake up in a world without Taco. How can we face future generations and tell them that we let this one man Dutch supergroup just fade away. I shutter at that thought.

Well as Monday dawns, I have climbed out of the wreckage that was my brackets. All I can say is I am a total failure when it comes to these things. I think in one pool I have achieved a negative score.

Well an end of another uneventful week in which I have reconfirmmed that when it comes to picking the NCAA tourney. I suck and maybe developmentally challenged. Let's say that the difference between me and Corky from 'Life Goes On'. He has an agent.

So far today I am doing alright other than the Lobos. Hey great job New Mexico, 11 points in the first-half. Way to get it done.

Last night was a wonderful display of suckatude. How about that wonderful performance from LSU last night? Look gentlemen, it is not advised to be huffing gas before a big game. You could have waited till Saturday. Let stay in the S.E.C sucks as department. Alabama thanks for soiling yourselves in front of a national audience. Florida nearly got mauled by those pesky Bobcats of Ohio. UCLA, it wouldn't have killed you to take a jumper inside of 27 Feet. Something to think about. But I do have confidence that by the end of this evening I will be in no danger of success, and I can enjoy the well earned ridicule from friends, family and myself.

Greetings everyone, I want to wish a Happy St. Patrick's day to all of you who are either sober, or in various stages of puking up a hubcap for a 74 Firebird.

I love St. Patrick's Day, and not for the drinking. It has always been a holiday in the Boski home. Nothing elaborate, but we would have corn beef, play the Clancy Brother tunes and watch the Quiet Man. Since it was the only Irish movie they would show on TV.

Boski Film suggestions for St. Patrick's Day - Well I am not going to give you anything heavy, like the Bloody Sunday or The Magdalene Sisters. I suggest the these:

Waking Ned Devine

The Snapper

The Van

and one of my personal favs An Everlasting Piece


It is also a holiday I really miss my father. I would have loved to been able to send a couple St. Patrick's Days with him after college. I think it would have been fun. Well I have rambled enough about this subject.

Speaking of green. Last night I witnessed something that I did not believed to be true. Oh, I heard stories about it, but I thought it only existed in the minds of a sick individual. I would thought I would have seen the following before I saw this:

a unicorn

the Loch Ness Monster

Atlantas

A German stand up comic

A White Sox World Series

and a Fox reality show that has dignity.

Yes, Fear Factor for Green Cards. I think this fall I will be watching a Unicorn from Atlantis lead the White Sox to a World Series title. During that World Series, I will be seeing promos for a new reality show about a German stand up and the Loch Ness Monster helping blind kids on Fox.

After watching this show the Frito Bandito and Speedy Gonzalez called and asked if they could tone it down.

After that, my wives addiction to Road Rules/Real World returned. It is fun watching. It is very life affirming, like Springer. You can not feel that you are a better person because you are not one of these knobs, even though they are getting nice swag and money for being complete a-holes. After an hour of the Miz, we could not help but watch Newlyweds. I know I rant about reality TV. But this is not reality this is bizzaro world. How is she even able breath being that dumb. Nick, thanks asshole, because of you I picked Iowa in the tourney. He used to have some redeeming qualities, even though he was in a boy band. But he did a lot of it on his own and he busted is ass to get to where he was. But now he is as much of a jackass as she is dumb. He could have toned down the jackass he would be set when after he kills Jessica. Because we all seeing it coming. He could of pull out the tapes and said "Judge, did you see what I have to deal with". (Boski Corp. does not condone killing and only uses the remake for comic purposes. If you are offended and live to complain, please send all complaints to Food and Drug Administration) But now it is nice to see him rotting in his own little hell. So Nick, Jessica and all the Simpson, that includes you cousin O.J. go make sweet, sweet love to a meat grinder.

I have to get back to watching the rest of my brackets fall to pieces. Already lost three games so far. Sweet.

I think I may be in trouble already with my picks. I think just before tip-off of the Play-In game I was mathimatically eliminated in my pool.

But there are a couple of things I do know:

Never pick a team that sounds like a person's first or last name, unless that name is Duke or Stanford, maybe Butler.

More directions and add-on's a school name has means a far greater chance of not advancing. Example North Carolina good - East Northwestern Missori Southern State A & M will not advance or collect $200 if it ever got to the toruney.

Please sit back and enjoy Moby Grape.

Today we celebrate the birth of the first player selected in the 1977 amateur draft and the one of the greatest White Sox of all time. Harold Douglas Baines.

Career Ave .289
6 Time All Star
2866 Career Hits
384 Career HR's
1,628 Career RBI's

One of the greatest thrills was being able to see him play in Chicago back in '96.

War Harold Baines!

Well your intrepid mongoloid has made it back from his week end adventures.

Friday night - the wife and I had a lovely home made meal at her mom's house. We had tacos, the first time I have had meat on a Friday since I was 8. No I am not giving up being a catholic, even though the Buddhist do have a better softball team. It was the only night we were going to be able to see her Mom, so it was meatless Thursday and Friday until the tacos.

Saturday - After a couple of errands and some craptastic traffic we made to San Diego. We had a great day wandering through Balboa Park. The went to Old Towne to wander around the shops and grab some Mexican food at Casa de Pico. Which was awesome. Had a big ass margarita that when I was finished made me feel pretty and that walking and standing was way over-rated. Speaking of over rated. The La Quinta Inn Old Towne. You suck and you know it. I was so disappointed at our stay there. Look I was not expecting the Taj Mahal, but please a little effort. Look this not even fit to kill a hooker in. Oh did I say that. (No hookers were harmed in the making of this blog).

Sunday started early about 1:30 AM when someone thought it was a great idea to drop something very heavy and large in the hallway above us so that the whole 2nd floor shook like they had drop the bomb. But after a couple of hours of fruitless attempts at sleep we checked out of the squalor and headed home. We got home and made our way to catch some lacrosse at the Pond and instead of a game we got a great display of the home team soiling itself. It was 8-0 at the half. But we had a good time. We took our nephew and he had a good time. Then it was home to unwind. My wife had a good time this weekend so my mission was accomplished.

Here is my first installment of band names I thought of in hopes that someone will pay me money for them, so I can buy every Quincy episode and stay home in a bathrobe and wooden shoes.

Midgets with Toffee Hammers - I am thinking industrial meets the Crystal Gayle.

Gravy U-Boat's - I see the Aqua Bats meet Merle Haggard with a twist of E.M.F.

Danish Facisist Movement - Speed metal with a touch of cinnamon.

Pork Disco - I see the Scissor Sisters deep fried then mashed with Jan Hammer. The first album would have to named "This S*&% ain't Kosher"

Smurf Suicide Pact - Christian Rock all the way on this one.

Lance D. Carbuncle - Just imagine Harry Connick Jr. having a civil lunch with Cannibal Corpse.

The Norman Fell Youth - Clean cut looking punkers from the burbs, with a heavy dose of Crystal Meth, and an undying love for Susanne Vega.

The Louis Rukeyser Blues Explosion - What happens when you take 5 Heavy Metal loving lads from Finland, who barely speak English and dress then up as the former host of Wall Street Week in Review. The whole time they are singing Whitney Houston tunes. Gold, pure Gold.

Well that is all I have for now. Please stay tuned for the Nitzer Ebb Discuss Classic Literature.

The week is crawling to a close. I have been tooling around on the internet for about the last 6 hours. While still looking busy. It has been slow, too slow. I tell them that I have work to do. But I am dragging my feet. I am worried they may pull the plug since they are not working on the project that was the reason for hiring a temp. Or it might mean a longer stay. I do not know. I was not happy to see another Temp agency sending a fax about an HR assistant. Well my boss has gone home, so I should be safe for at least another week.

When I blow this fire trap, it is off to my wife's mom's for dinner. She having us over for my wife's birthday. Since tomorrow we are off to San Diego. Along with Old Town, we may head by Balboa Park, maybe swing by my former employers San Diego office and raze it. The salt the earth it stood so nothing will ever grow. Wait, did I let that slip.

Sunday it time for some lacrossey goodness we will probably get drilled but it will be a pleasant afternoon in Orange County.

In basketball news, I have not had any early symptoms of March madness. I am worried. I used to love the tourney. I still do, but I use to have a better sense of college hoops come March. But like my football picks it never equated to success. I still love being in the pools though even though I have never come close to money. But then there is something comforting watching a whole bracket melt down on Day 2 after an amazing round one where you missed 16 for 16 by 8 points. Come next week I will arm myself with the LA Time Sports section and try to formulate a bracket so brilliant you could see it from space. So that way everyone will see my shame.

It used to be a dream that come tourney time when I was of legal age I would go to Vegas and just soak in the hoops. But now I do not think I would go during the first round. Too crowded and Vegas aint cheap anymore. White Tigers cost money. And protecting Austrian Magician from those tigers is even costlier!

On other Basketball News. The last-place Old Dirty Bastards of the Brookhaven Basketball league are in the process of wheeling and dealing. I have shipped out Jason Kidd and Shaq. With more trades looming. I know how can you trade Kidd or Shaq. Easily, I am in last and I need cheap young talent. I have three other trades pending and maybe one more. So what does this all mean. It means I have a lot of time on my hands at work. But the O.D.B's will be back next year with a core Jermaine O'Neal, Bobby Simmons and Dwayne Wade. O.D.B. is for the children!

I was just thinking about Canseco. He admits to juicing, but others had to be involved. The Logic behind it. Did anyone watch Canseco play defense. Even things hit to him were an adventure. Oh sure Mongo hit ball, hit ball far, but you have to have some skill to operate a glove. Jose had none, what make anyone think he could use a needle. I am just saying.

Hey speaking of over-hyped, limited hitters with holes in their swings that you could drive a truck through. Here are some of my favorites.

Rob Deer
Gorman Thomas
Cory Snyder
Tony Armas Sr.
Juan Samuel
Pete Incaviglia
Cecil Fielder
Ron Kittle
Steve Balboni
and
Dave "King Kong" Kingman

That has the making of the greatest slow pitch softball team ever.

Well I must shuffle off, it is time for VH1 Behind the Spin-Off - The Roper's.

Thank you and good night.

If you had to create a baseball team that had to be the ugly, who do you pick first? Now I am not talking run of the mil ugly. I am talking clock-stoppingly ugly. So many choices: George Foster, Otis Nixon, Ben Ogilve, and Gorman Thomas. It is like picking your favorite child.

7 TV Habits of Successful People – The Spring '05 edition

Shows you should be watching. It might just save your life!

Cheap Seats – Watched the season premier and was rolling. Nothing like an ESPN SportsCentury: Cheap Seats. It was nice to stroll down memory lane and see how the world has changed since March 2004.

Robot Chicken – If you have ADD and you want to see Voltron Break-dance then this is the show for you. You may love it so much you will want to break the laws of man and nature to marry it.

Any BBC mystery/Cop Drama – well except for that Jonathan Creek bullshit. I swear the United Kingdom does a great job with mystery’s and cop dramas. You can have entertaining Murder in Suburbia or Murphy’s Law (You can not hold the Northern Irishman down!) to your hardcore, oh no they did not do that shit like Wire In the Blood and Waking the Dead.

Jimmy Kimmel – Yes I know a lot of people did not know he had a late night show and his rating reflect that, but damn I love this show.

English Premier League Fan Zone – I know, I know it is soccer. But as I have said before, if there is a score involved I will watch it. Over the years I have actually taken a small liking to the EPL because the people there are crazy about it. So before the NFL starts, and after the Super Bowl ends I just need something to amuse me in between all the other sports I watch. I love it because is play by play by fans, who sometime are not using their inside voices, provide colorful commentary and appropriate bashing of the other EPL clubs. If you do watch the EPL and understand what goes on then you will love the text messages that they fan send in. But if you have Fox Sports World (now the Fox Soccer Channel) then watch it! Look if you do not enjoy it then the Government of Norway will refund you the money. What a deal.

The NFL Network – If you did not see this coming. Yes, I am one of those sick bastards that will watch this network, even after the season is over. If my wife and I did not have commitment last Saturday then I would have watched more then the 45 minutes of the Workout from the NFL Combine. I was watch Offensive Linemen run the 40. I have no shame.

Deadwood – Do I need to say anymore? If you do not like this show then I will feed you to Woo’s pigs.

Again in my rush to publish, grammar, tact and a point were all harmed in the making of this entry.

Well it is Tuesday afternoon and winding down another exciting day. I have worked on scheduling interviews for the Finance Department, review incoming resumes, update the chemical inventory, split the atom and traded Shaquille O'Neal for three players. Look, I am in last I need players for next year. It is apart of my 72 year rebuilding project.

I concerned about the Broncos off-season moves. I just do not have a good feeling about the draft. So many holes and so few draft picks. I am not liking free-agency so far. We need someone to take Pryce for a 1 in '06. We need to get more from the Jets on Putzier. Gerald Warren, I hope you are not a younger version of Darryl Gardner. We got Ian Gold back, which is nice, if we go to a 3-4. I wish we had some cap room I would like to have Smoot, but that is wishful thinking. But that is the great thing about the NFL. Because of parity I can make myself believe that they have a shot until about week 6 or 7. I hope I am wrong, like most things I pontificate on.

Baseball is almost here, but I am not excited. I think after the NCAA tourney is over I can get motivated, but wait NFL Europe will be starting and then their the NFL draft... No I still do love baseball, but I have not had they love I had for it since the early 90's.

Things I would love to say in a meeting or a professional setting:

1. "Yes El Guapo"
2. "I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler"
3. "I am Michael Eisner and I am not wearing any pants" (Long story)
4. "San Dimas Football Rules!"
5. "Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor"
6. "Ham, it's the Cadillac of deli meats"
7. "These are not the droids you are looking for"
8. "Hey they bought their tickets I say let them crash"
9. "Wow, I shouldn't have drunk all that cough syrup this morning"
10. "Ask me about Amway"

I have only been able to successfully use #8 in an HR meeting.

Hey a special shout out to America's Beloved Jay Leno. Jay, go make sweet, sweet love to a light socket. Yes, I am talking to you, Mr. "Oh I don't want a gag order on me telling god-awful Michael Jackson jokes". I say this not because I am defending the Goofy Gloved one, it that I hate you Jay. God, what a tool. You are a soul-less, humorless jackass. There is not a colostomy bag big enough for you and the waste products you spew out of pie hole. But I do have to thank you so stealing errr hiring Stutter John. It has made listening to Howard a great deal more enjoyable. By the way, that was a loving tribute to Johnny Carson. Especially from the man who forced him out, made Letterman move (to a network I did not start watching again until it had football and CSI), and is a complete and total bastard. I just wish that the day comes that Jimmy Kimmel can beat you with a shovel, till you are red pasty mess.

Viva Jimmy Kimmel.

Good night Moline.

Well after a hard week of defending democracy for the county from the Huns, the
Goths, the vandals and Moonies. I was off for a couple days of rest bit.

Friday night – got home from work and the Better Half and I went to dinner with a friend of mine from my day working for the Mouse. We enjoyed a nice meal and then went over to my newest shame. Indoor Lacrosse. Yes I stand before everyone bearing this new shame. I am an Indoor Lacrosse fan and I am a fan of probably the worst team in the lot. And you know what, I like it. I have never played the game but I am so enthralled by it. We may need to get a restraining order. But I watched our beloved Anaheim Storm play well, but not well enough. Everything was going great until the last three minutes where a two-goal lead disappeared and at 48 seconds any chance of overtime was stomped out. I was actually frustrated by the outcome. I feel for these guys. They do so much to keep at their dream. These players maybe be playing pro, but they are not getting rich at it. Only a couple of them are making decent money. I will say the majority of the players in the league have work during the week at real jobs. So it is fun watching them lay it all out because they love playing. I know that sounds like a cliché, but I feeling clicheish right now. So go out and support your local lacrosse team. Hell, do it to scare the NHL.

Saturday – woke up hung out caught up on some Tivo. Watched “In America”. Love the movie, but damn Jim Sheridan, could you cut some of the emotional stomach punches you throw. It is a story based on Jim Sheridan’s family’s life through the kids’ eyes. How they came to New York City, illegally, to live in high-rise flophouse, after the death of one of their children, as the father is trying to peruse an acting career. After that bit of fun we were off to meet friends for lunch. So we meet at Wahoo’s for some tasty goodness. If you do not know of Wahoo’s or not near a Wahoo’s then I feel infinite sadness for you. After lunch the wife and I just wander around the South Coast Plaza behemoth. It was nice to be chilling and not worrying about work.

Sunday – Not much read, more Tivo and ran some errands, but another pleasant day with the Better Half. I need to get going on her birthday planning. She wants to go down to S.D. for dinner at a great Mexican restaurant in Old Towne, Casa de Pico. It is a great place with great Mexican grub, and some big ass margaritas. We will crash at hotel near by and get home Sunday for Lacrosse. I have forgotten to mention that my wife is big into the lacrosse as well. She got a reason. She went to school back east. So I must get in gear. Also have to get that watch she pointed out.

I want to send a big shout out to my good friend Geoff and his wife on the birth of their second child. The Boski clan would like to extend its best wishes and a case of Crystal Pepsi to you.

Hello kids, it is Friday and the free world is safe. I am just winding down week working for man. Nothing to exciting to report. They seem to like me and I have not screwed up too much. I just wonder how much more I would have gotten done if I did not have ADD. Stupid internet and minimal attention. I did get to see what is going on in NFL free agency, world events, celebrity news. Belgian Soccer hooligans, Trapist Monk on glue, the club scene in Ulan Bator. So you can see important work was done.

Sorry to go all Larry King but here I go:

Just imagine what a world we would have if John Sanunu and Sheneneh Jenkins from that TV gem Martin had married. She would be Sheneneh Sanunu. Damn Gina!

Why isn't Fudge on the Periodic Table

Danish Imperialism - coming to a neighborhood near you.

Icky Woods - the world will not forget

Everything time you laugh at a Jeff Foxworthy joke, a puppy dies.

Screw March madness, I want my NIT narcolepsy we are 66, we are 66.

Is it time for NFL Europe yet . . .

The Oscars

watched, not too bad. Pissed to find out that anything with Ashton Kutcher was not nominated. My god didn't they watch The Bosses Daughter. (Note Terence Stamp - I do not know how bad you needed the money, but why, why?)

Chris Rock did as well as he possible could on network TV. I did love his Renee Zellweger gained 30 pounds to play Bridget Jones and next will gain 80 pounds to play Deacon Jones.

Speaking of Zellweger. What is up with her grill. Why does she look like she has either slamming straight lemon juice or has had really bad soup.

Paul Giamatti - not being nominated, biggest rip since Bill Murray in Rushmore.

Too much Oprah no Uma.

The whole lets put all the nominee on stage and announce a winner. That was horseshit. You want rating. Have all the nominees on stage. Then take an Oscar and put it on the ground and have them go after it. Let us see who wants it the most.

Four plus hours of the Oscar's and not one veal reference.

The Aviator would have won more awards if they movie was more about Old man Hughes making sweet, sweet love to the crazy.

Some one need to stop Joan and her spawn. Enough is enough.

Star Jones / Warren Sapp have you seen either at the same event.

Over the years, I have thought that I have a talent that I am not sharing with the world. A talent that should provide me with wealth beyond my wildest dream or at least the first 20 minutes of and MTV Cribs episode. It is a talent that was inspired by my man with the blogging empire Eric. Back in the carefree days of our youth. When young Eric was on loan to West Coast he told me one day out of the blue. "Matt do you know what a good name for a band would be?" I was clueless, as usual uttered "I don't know". "Power Cords from Hell" Eric then followed that up with Motor Vomit. I did not realize it at the time, but would find out that I have the gift of creating cool band names. Along with my talent for naming pets: Drinking Buddy, Phil, Marco, Tamerlane, etc. Sadly over the years I did not have the forsite to write this stuff down when it came to me. So many have been lost, lost forever. I had planned on having a web page one day that would have a page on it that was a fake venue with these amazing bands like Techincolor Yawn (Speed Metal/Reagge band) Iridescent Clam Bake (Think Haircut 100 meets Black Flag) The Greg Evigan Experience (Bread + KMFDM + Blue Oyster Cult + Captain - Tennille = awesome). You see if I can put these thoughts down. I may beat someone to the punch and get paid for coming up with band names that may put state mental health officials on edge. So I will do my best to work on providing bad college and garage punk bands names to inspire and shame them. So I salute you Eric, a true American Hero.

P.S. If any of you take Power Cords From Hell and Motor Vomit and with out written consent of MLB and Eric you will be beatened severely.

I would like to extend a very belated birthday greeting to my man. The King of the Desert Hooligans. I know you deny their existence, but we all know that you are their King. Well I feel like a total and complete bastard for forgetting your birthday which was nearly a month ago. Typical ignorant Boski bastardness (that is not a word, but I am taking it back). Forgetting to drop a line or call the gut who was your best man and someone who will actually take you on as a roto owner. Look I should have time. I am not playing Madden. So I have free time now. I am now going to crawl under my desk and bash my head in with the tape dispenser.