Boski's Blogopoluza!

I wish I had actual content for some on the titles I create. Because I think a couple of you out there are curious about what those wacky TV killing Scotsmen are doing. Without having to go look them up. But sadly all you get is this. Yes, I know I have already contacted the BBB and have tried to turn myself in a couple of times. I am working on it people.

A pleasant weekend was spent with some of my family, actually ventured outside with out my PS2 controller. Had a good time watching T-Ball. May is time for the playoff run and we see which 5 and 6 year olds are going to be the next Mr. June. Also another side note. Never, ever bet a T-Ball game. I looked at the match-up and thought it would be a pitchers duel and I was wrong, so wrong. They have to get steroids out of T-Ball.

Hung out with the King of the Desert Hooligans his wife and their beautiful child. Good to hang out in the Land of Gracious living and dry heat. I forget how hot it can get back around the old homestead. All the summers without AC, how did I survive? I know you are asking why didn't you have AC? Well the answer is my father. All of us would have had to get 2nd and 3rd jobs to support is Freon habit. My father would have run that AC all year long. Let's just say that we would have had rain everytime we opened the front door. Even though I do not like the heat, I still have a fascination with desert and being in Vegas. Kind like Randall in Clerks.

"You hate people."
"But I love gatherings, isn't ironic."

I think I butchered that like Ryan Leaf.

Sunday was a day out with the Better Half and my Mom. Had a good day hanging with them as they went through the OC Swap Meet. Not great for shopping, but great for seeing that Darwin was wrong.

On the sports front, it was a bad weekend the Sox split a four game series. Wow, I never thought that sentence would ever comeout of my mouth. They major league record ended Sunday. Another impress your friends fact. That this is second major league streak that that O's have stopped in Comiskey. 1988 they ended their 0-21 start at the Old Comiskey and Sunday they ended the White Sox streak of 36 consecutive game holding a lead to start a season. Hmmmmmm! Well I hope they get rolling again. Well at least through next week when they stop in Anaheim.

Well I must get back to work so please enjoy the grounds and remember to get you parking validated at the front desk.

I have a couple of possible band names that I think would be huge success.

Taco Marmalade - I am thinking a cross between Stan Ridgeway and Evelyn Champange King meet Wasp.

Bad Pop Culture Reference - This screams college band that thinks it too cool for the room.

Tales from the Bunko Squad - I see Royal Crown Review meets the ghost of Richard Marx.

Slurry Wagon - Megadeath and Jill Osborne have a kid, this is there off-spring.

Well it is Friday and I have wasted enough time today that I could have used to do my job. Oh well.

Which of these teams is the most random:

1. 1978 California Angels

2. 1974 Detroit Lions

3. 1993 Dallas Mavericks

4. 1983 Minnesota North Stars

5. 2001 Colorado Rockies

6. 1998 New Orleans Saints

Just asking.

Who did captain Stubing think he was? Oh sure he was the "captain", but you never saw him on the bridge. What the hell did he do? I think the only thing he tried to steer was an unauthorized boarding of Englebert Humperdinck while Elke Sommer watched. Now Dr. Bricker, he was the man, not Issac, not Julie and certainly not Gopher. He ran that boat like Sebastian Coe running the mile. I mean shit was tight! The only thing Dr. Bricker was missing was the pimp hat and cane.

No class. I got a chuckle at first and then I got angry after reading this. Tom, the only smearing I am seeing is what you and those of your ilk are doing to the Constitution. You are wiping the crap that you spew all over it. Thanks jackass.

The way things are going we are going to have ourselves our own "Reign of Terror". There seems to be an inverse French Revolution in the works, minus the bloodshed, yet. Here the Upper Class and the Church are looking to take over and work to create a "version of utopia". One they would like to inflict on all of us, no matter who it hurts. Next stop feudalism. When will Walmart send me to fight in the Holy Land? You can see some similarities don't you. Look the Department of Homeland Security and the Committee of Public Safety, both looking to rid themselves of "enemies of the state". The Directory then and Bush, Cheney, Rove, Fist in the ass, oh I mean Frist, and De Lay now. We also have tribunals, foreign wars and demands for sweeping social "change".

All I ask is that at least the Jacobians..er the NeoCons should at least start wearing the red hats, so we all know where we stand. So it will Liberty (only for those who do not question), Equality(only for the rich and the true believers) and Fraternity (we will all have to move back to our parents homes since we will be broke. Or join colonies of non-commissioned mobile free lancers aka the homeless, living under the crumbling freeways and roads)

Well kids wake me when it is time for the Thermidor Reaction. Mmmm Lobster Thermidor.

I never imagined I would still be speaking about the Sox. I am so pleased that sports mags and the papers have to write about them (even though the Sporting News is pissing the hell out of me) and ESPN shows their highlights toward the beginning of SportsCenter not at the end after "Did You Know", world ice dancing highlights and a couple of ads for "Stump the Schwab".

Oh sure they have teased me in the past and I should not get my hopes up. A prime example of this behavior was demonstrated last season. They were doing great until the Twins rolled into town for a four game set in August. Our hard fought 3 game lead became a free-fall. Strangely this season has a different feel to it (at least till the free fall). The only thing that sucks is we are playing so well and we are only four ahead of the tax cheating, dog kicking, red wine with chicken drinking, non VCR tape rewinding Twins. But the plucky little White Sox are doing their best at making me forget that the Broncos have taken every Cleveland Brown defender they could find. I think they may have been desperate when they were trying to sign Frank Minnefeild and Hanford Dixon. What they could not find Clay Matthews or Chip Banks? Look Bob Golic is always looking for work. Well I am going to enjoy it while it last.

Coming up Laurie Anderson's Tribute to This Week In Baseball.

Well I finally have some access while I am at work. My boss is out for till Monday so I am on my own. Which means I will think I am making progress but Monday find out that it is all wrong. I would love to sit and blog all day, but I have to actually do the work and I am in a very open space. So I can not view all that Finnish dwarf tossing. Damn!.

Last night went to the Big A to catch a game with some friends I had not seen in forever. Thanks to the King of the Desert Hooligans for the tickets. Had a good time, but after going to Petco I felt a let down. Great I have become a stadium snob. I think as my penitence I should be forced to go back to Shea, Yankee Stadium and Oakland Coliseum. That will learn me.

I forgot one other item on my "brushes with sports greatness". Hanging with Charlie Hough eating KFC and watching the highlight film of the 78 All-Star game at my elementary school.

Not making the list:

Walking by Robert Horry at the Hard Rock.

Passing Danny White at Treasure Island

Watching Jenny Finch be bored out of her skull as she had to do an appearance at my gym's Hawaii Trip Give Away.

If I have any more I will let you know. Please fill out those comment cards.

This weekends NBA MVP voting made me thing about those special moments when I have crossed paths with sports greatness. So here are great moments personal sports moments with Boski. Wait what they hell does Steve Nash have to do with this? I am getting to that.

I played football with two future MLBer's - Phil Nevin and Matt Luke

Played hoops with a current MLB pitcher Brett Tomko.

(Note when I said played that mean they played and I was riding pine or being used as tackling dummy)

Shared and Elevator with Steve Nash in 96 as he was playing in the NBA Rookie league and I was at Sports Broadcasting Camp. He was not impressed with my Rick Fox Mike Smrek reference. That went over well. Oh yes Boski had a dream of being a broadcaster, but poor speaking skills and too many esoteric remarks about the Estate General mean no future.

Met NFL CB and Kick Returner Jackie Wallace back in Kindergarten. Watch the Highlight film of Super Bowl IX you will see him trying to tackle Franco Harris all day. He was dating our teacher. I actually gave him artwork. My family got very little art from me because I knew even at an early age I sucked at art. I drew him a football field.

Chilled with Max Venable at a function at a health club I use to sling burgers at. A bonus point for you if you know who he is.

Nearly got run over by former Angel Infielder Dick Schofield as he was leaving the Camelot Batting Cages in '87.

Hung out with Former All-American and a member of 1984 Olympic Hoops teamer and now NBA ref, Leon Wood. I actually got to do it twice. Once in 94 when I was coach soph hoops in Dana Hills and again at that broadcasting camp. (One final note, during that camp I can swear to this on a stack of bibles. I watch Kurt Warner play Arena football as he was playing for the Iowa Barnstormers as they beatened the Anaheim Parhania's. Not the Colts vs Giants in 58).

Met Rex Hudler who is genuinely insane, but in a good way. Back in 95 during great Angel Collapse, I caught a ton of Angels games that season. The Hud Dog is a character and someone who did love playing the game. The Better Half and I went to meet him and get something signed. The night before we caught a game against the O's. Harold Baines was playing so I had to be there. But the Hud Dog had been slumping and hit a routine single to center, but Andy Van Slyke was loafing so the Dog took second. When I brought this up the Hud the next day it was as if he was talking about the greatest Christmas gift ever, but it was about an extra basehit in May. God bless you Hud Dog, go out an eat a bug.

Finally my favorite. Back in 92 I was fortunate to have tickets to go to the NFL experience in Pasadena. Way back when there was football in LA. Had a great time and we travel back to the Placentia and we had to eat. So me and a couple of my friends stop at Taco Bell. As I walk in I see two gentlemen in baseball jersey's. One was a Dodger jersey and the other a Mariners. Who were these gentlemen? Was it Griffey Jr. and Strawberry? No Lenny Randle, the man who deck his manager back in '77 and Ken Landreaux the man of a 38 game hit streak and a coke problem. They had been at a card show near by and where finishing the fare Taco Bell had to offer. They told us they had to get going and to stop by the card show. None of this was solicited. I think the look on my face tipped them off that I knew who they were. I was excited. To me I thought, if you two are here does that mean Bob Bailor and Rob Wilfong are in the dining area getting their Nacho Bell Grande on. Sadly no. But then that is how Boski's mind works.

Thank you listening now "Great Moments in the WFL"

It is Mother's Day weekend it is time to give thanks to Mom.

This weekend Team Boski will be out early enjoying a lovely breakfast with the Better Half's Mom. Which will be nice. Then in the afternoon we head to the stately Boski Manor to enjoy dinner with Matriarch of the Boski Klan, and family, at the show palace of the Placentia Riviera.

I could spend hours listing all the wonderful things that my Mom has done for me, so instead I will just say thanks Mom.

When did the Boxing Commission in this state end the 3 knock down rule. I felt like Randall Tex Cobb this week during this temp assignment. Holmes kept beating on me, but the ref would not stop the fight. Oh I know I am being melodramtic, but still sucked ass. But hey, I can't complain. I not in coal mine or drumming for Spinal Tap.

If you have BBC America, then watch Shamless. Try it you will like it.

That pretty much sums up my week so far. Okay not as bad as that, almost.

This assignment sucks. I have been dropped into the wonderful world of Escrow. Oh what joy it is to be thrown into something, and have no clue about it. What they hell is going on? I am a little slow on the up take, but people give me a little more training. Well you know what they say about being thrown in to the deep end? There is a good chance you will drown. Right now, I am so lost, and next week I will be so screwed. I will not feel as liberated as Matthew Brodrick felt in the Freshman, when things when you are completely screwed. My biggest fear, that I am going to piss these people off to the point they will punish me by keeping me longer.

When this is done I have to get a real job because I have got to put an end to this 56K dial up crap.

As we hurtle toward Mid May the Chicago White Sox are 21 - 7, 4 1/2 up. Did you know the Sox set a MLB record this week by holding a lead in 28 straight games to start a season. Go ahead and amaze your friends. The scary part about that is there were at least four of those games that the Sox should have won. I hope that is not a bad omen come October.

Kellen Winslow II - WTF dude. I hope for your sake you say that you were high. Because that could be one of the all-time worst decisions in history. Moving ahead of the Donner Party, but just short of Maginot Line.

The NBA Playoffs are going on. Hmmmm. Note to Phil Jackson, we are sorry, please come back.

Did I mention 56K dial up sucks.

There are Koi in the lobby of the place I am temping at, along with a bronze deer, lamp posts and a water fall. Imagine if a law firm from the 80's made sweet sweet love to the set of the New Zoo Review. The office would be their love-child.

Paula Abdul drugged up and boinking contestants. Hey, she can take Pat O'Brien's spot in rehab. Oh great job, Slappy Mc Drunkmiester on Dr. Phil McCracken's yesterday. If only a meteor could have stuck that set. I would be so happy.

Well I must get back to writing the Broadway adaptation of Hardcastle and Mc Cormick. Thank you and good night.

Boski will not be a vagrant next week. He has picked up a temp assignment for 3 weeks. I was actually looking forward to catching up on my soaps. . . oh I have said too much. Well I will miss out on Jerry Springer, which I will say is life affirming. I watch and it makes me feel better about myself, but at the same time scared that these people exist. But I do need to updated my resume. I think the part about be proficient on the Apple IIe may need to adjusted. I will not however take off that I kick ass on Choplifter.

I am still a little partial to Bill Brasky but this has potental.

Here are some of the early favorites:

Vin Diesel does backup vocals on Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes". This concerned Cameron Crowe and caused him to cast John Cusack over Vin Diesel for the Lloyd Dobler role in "Say Anything". An oversight Vin Diesel considers, some real bullshit.

He once asked to borrow a cup of sugar from Benjamin Franklin. When Franklin said no, Vin Diesel killed him with a sword.

Is both the architect of, and banned by the Geneva Convention.

God is Vin Diesel's third grade Science Fair project.

Vin Diesel has a seat on the United Nations Security Council; despite not being a sovereign nation.

Beat Bobby Fischer in a game of chess. And by that I mean, beat Bobby Fischer into a coma using only the white rook.

I would like to thank Best Week Ever for this.

President Bush will take time out of his schedule to speak to America. We should all be pleased that he is taking the time, since being the president is "hard work". Why is he doing this during sweeps? Great piss off advertisers. Also, why do I have the feeling that when he discusses his Social Security Plan he will trying to explain it while using a the game board from Chutes and Ladders.

Give it up Mr. President, the whole "private accounts" idea bites (that's a fancy debating rebutal). I know that you want American's to become the "Ownership Society", just like your dad's old boss. But the problem is I do not want to take ownership of your debt. Oh there are changes that need to be made. Moving the cap and encouragement of people to save on their own along with other ideas, that I forget since I did not take Economics.

You will also be discussing your brilliant Energy Plan. Great, drilling in Alaska. Sure their is oil there, but can you ensure it will be done properly. Heaven forbid we would like to keep a party of the nation wild and undisturbed. Also that will be good for only a short period of time. Hey we need our giant SUV's and China and India are upping their need for oil. But hey it's only a couple of billion of people. China and India you remember. China they are flooding the markets with their copied American products at Walmart. In fact China and Walmart have had more impact on the economy than the tax breaks. (I forget the book that is from so I apologize for forgetting) But then we should envy China all that cheap (slave) labor while the government directs the population to worry about being good consumers than their rights. (Okay I may have gone a little far on that one) India, Mr. Bush that is where our high tech jobs are going to. You have heard of it? Oh I forgot you cried when you dad wanted watch Ghandi. You and Dan Qualye threw such a fit they rented you Herbie Goes Banana's. How could I forget.

Mr. Bush we need to develop other methods of energy. Do not get me started on nuclear power. We need more targets for the terrorist. Look we can develop cleaner energy in which it can be a winfall for both the consumers and the developers. You can make money going green, it is not against the law, or is it? Just imagine this approach if this was the space program in the 60's. NASA would have been outsources to East Germany and the Russian would have been on the moon. The whole time we tried to put a rocket on DC-3. Okay enough venom from me, I will try to get back to the comedy that made Greg Evigan weep.

I was working out Tuesday morning when I say that "CNN Live" in which they spent time to discuss this literary/self-help gem. I thought there was going to be news. Nope, I got Victoria Gotti who is a cross between Donnatella Versace and an ape. I would like to apologize to apes and Ms. Versace. And he son Frank who "wrote" this seminal piece of literature. How he went from a fat ass to a guy who has a hair cut that Moe Howard wants back. I do hope you enjoyed the soup that came with that haircut. How did he accomplish this Herculean goal. What is the genius he is about to give the world. Eat less, work out and cut carbs. Holy crap! Stop the presses this is Gutenberg Printing Press kind of news. Really, that is all. Look if I wanted this crap I could watch Katie Couric's colon being checked, or watch Harry Smith artificially inseminate a cow. It hurt watching this. Thank god I did not have my glasses or I would have been blinded.

Speaking of bad CNN moves. Nancy Grace this woman is insane and I wish nothing more than a life full of bad clams. I think this article and this one sums up some of my feelings.

No! Please say it's not so! Some one get that man a bottle of Crown Royal. Hey Pat I am glad that you have decided to clean up, you ol' booze hound. But I am not happy with the apology crap. Okay you may need to apologize for legal reason, but do not be ashamed of some great comedy. Those tapes are gold. (thanks Mr. Thigh Master) But Pat (didn't he suggest doing that to Nancy O'Dell while Billy Bush watched?) has to get back to his important work. He is going to help American learn and understand the important topics. No, not Social Security (maybe we should contact Joe millionaire, he will know what to do), or Iraq (are we still there, I thought that ended with Friends Finale), or even the assault on the constitution (didn't that get voted off Survivor?). It's about our entertainment industry. Oh sure, we may be spending $3.00 a gallon, billions in Iraq, with a a health care system that sucks, but our reality shows and over-exposed stars are safe.

Pat, I salute you for our courage to come back and hop into the frey as we face a possible American Idol Scandal. Something that the American public has more passion voting on then political elections. What could this scandal be? What that it sucks? Paula on drugs? (maybe she heard one of her albums) Is the show rigged? There are 3-masted ships that are less rigged. Damn, you would think this ABC Primetime was the Warren Commission Report.

Thank goodness I do not commit most of my waking hours following something where people are over exposed and paid huge amounts of money to play "games". That would just be foolish. Now where is the sports section?

Alright got that out of the way. Well the weekend has come and gone.

Saturday – went out to the memorial service and spent some quality bonding time with the family and friends. Hung out and remembered the good times we had with Mr.G. When I got home was so drained and tired I could not even watch the draft.

Sunday – Even after braving the early morning showers took the Better Half, her Mom and my nephew to the Festival of Books. We always love going and it fun taking the nephew getting him new books to read, and getting him see characters from the books he reads. We also have a good time running him around and riding the shuttle bus across the UCLA campus. I was able to duck in and catch a panel discussion with my Mother-in-Law, as the Better Half took Tom. It was a great panel Writing Epic History. For me I find these more interesting than fiction. I went to see Adam Hochschild who wrote “King Leopold’s Ghost” a powerful book. He has a new one out on the End of Slavery in the English Empire. The other authors were great and I plan to read their work soon.

Steve Fraser has a fascinating book on Wall Street.
Hector Tobar – an interesting looking book on immigrant lives and their journey to America and through America.
A.J. Langguth – Our Vietnam was his book, which I plan to read along with Mr. Tobar’s book when my Mother-In-Law is done.

So that was the weekend. I am still trying to absorb the NFL draft right now. So far my thoughts are:

I am happy that the Broncos made the trade to get a #1 next year and #4. Thank you Washington. Double thanks in taking Jason Campbell. He could become a great QB in the league, but how could you make that pick with all the money you have tied in the QB position already and with other positions that needed to be filled. Here is hoping for a 4-12 season.

Do not know what to make of the Bronco draft? Maurice Clarrett, seriously? I just waiting for someone to come by and kick me in the nuts. So, is this what it means to be “punk’d”. He could be a good back, I leaning toward no. I think they should have gone WR or DE, but I am not the GM. They took 3 DB’s with hopes of shoring up the secondary and also hopefully looking to get some speed on special teams. We will see.

The Chiefs had the crappiest draft. They took Craphonso Thorpe. Can you say Snoop Minnis? I thought you could. I hate to say they drafted decently and got some DB help with Surtain so they trying to pull out the stops for Vermeil Crying Cavalcade last run.

The Raiders checking in with some questionable characters (Hawthorne in the 6th cough, cough and Routt in the 2nd) and players who can run (Washington 1st and Routt).

The Jets – you first pick was the Motor City Madman, oh sorry Mike Nugent Kicker. But taking a kicker as your first pick is still a head scratcher. This guy is no Morten Anderson, but he should be better than Russell Erxlaben.

The 49ers – Wow you guys picked the wrong year to get a franchise QB. I am not sold on him or Rodgers as the #1. But we will see, if they give him something to work with he could avoid being a bust, but I see Tim Couch, with just a hint of Cade McNown.

Ravens- got the guy they wanted and I hate them for that. Why couldn’t they draft a punter in the first round? But I think they may be the team to beat in the AFC this year.

Colts – Lee Evans. What is with all the short players?

Lions – Mike Williams was worth the pick. He is a guy you don’t pass up on. Even thought he is from SC he is special talent. Also Charles Rogers' porcelain collarbone is still an issue.

Jags – Matt Jones in the 1st. I thought there was a drug policy in the league. Look, you have the makings of the offensive version of Mike Mamula. That pick for a guy who has not played that position. That’s a bold statement.

Well that is what I have on that, more as I digest the info. What do think I did on Monday? I spent all day printing out draft info.

How can I say it is good to be back when no one missed you when you were gone? Well I now finally have time to blog, on company time. Well at least till the end of this week. Yesterday they let me know that my assignment ends this Friday. I should not be surprised this assignment was two weeks longer than expected. The good news is, this due to the department’s budget. They would have liked to have me stay longer, but can’t justify the cost. But then they could be saying that so I do not go all Private Pyle on them, and start shooting. I can understand their fear, if so. I am not as imposing as Vincent D’Onofrio character in the movie, but I am as retarded and slovenly. I will miss working for the district. The people were great and they made me feel welcomed.

So it is back to the temp pool again. I think I may just have to come to the conclusion that I will never be more than a temp. At the most, I will be at a position for a year or two and then I will be laid off, downsized, fired, beaten, scorned, tarred and feathered, and etc. I will be on temp assignments, probably not moving above an administrative assistant level (hey it’s my day today, oh boy!), from now till the end of time. I should have realized that success and I were not going to be on speaking terms. I should have known that when my Guidance counselor advised me that my options after high school were the Carney Sciences, Fast Food Theory or Hobo Studies.

So, I would like to be a cautionary tale for everyone out there that has kids, or will have kids. Make them go to school. Make sure they find a single career path, and make them stick to it. Also try to steer them toward something that has a future. Make them complete said degree, even if they hate it before they are done. That way they can at least have something to fall back on. Also make sure they are obtaining job skills worth a damn. You see knowing the Presidents of the Gilded Age, cracking on Conrad Bain and making esoteric remarks on the Holy Roman Empire will get you nowhere in life. I know I live it everyday. Also make sure they know how to write and understand the English language. That they know all the components like: grammar, spelling and syntax. Next to checking for drugs and if you kid is having sex, you should go all Homeland Security on them and make sure they can write. I was too lazy and dumb to fix my problem. I managed to enough to eek by. I was able to pull the wool over my parents and my teachers. I just wished someone would have come along and said “You’re going to fail miserably in life with your language and comprehension skills. You need remedial help and learn the language from the ground up. Just maybe you might be able to learn enough so you can give yourself a chance in the world”.

Oh Boksi, you’re being too hard on yourself. I say yes and no. Oh sure I am hamming some of this up and I have been very fortunate to be in wonderful family. Have a wonderful wife, who has helped me immensely and has helped me in walking upright. Who if I didn’t have in my life, I would be living under the 57 Freeway overpass at Chapman Ave. But if you ever saw any paper I turned in high school or college (that did not get an extensive review or a couple near rewrite) the returned papers looked at if you had tried to kill a buffalo with a butter knife. Red was everywhere (corrections) and everything was complete mess (my wonderful penmanship). Somehow even when I would type things out, it still looked likes a 6-year old finger-painting project. Thinking about some of the written exams I took, I do not know how anyone was able to read and understand anything I wrote. Even when I knew what the hell I was writing about. So please make you kids read, write and proof their work. Look at it as an investment in your future. I am thankful my Mom has four other kids who are not a mess. It’s good to know that I am in no way responsible for anything important to my Mom’s future care and wellbeing.

So please learn from me. Now I have to go back and edit this and try to make it sound coherent. I feel better now. I just need to get that out. Thank you for your patience, during this public flogging. Tip the wait staff Please try the Shrimp Scampi.

Well tomorrow is the NFL Draft and thousands of freaks like me will be gathering around the tube and watch hours and hours of people talking about: upside, tweener's, Raider fan's, reaches, fluid hips, (wow that almost sounds like the AVN's) Mel Kiper's Hair and the Wonderlick (wait, now it definitely sounds like the AVN's). Well I would love to have sat and watched every single minute of the draft, but I actually have a couple prior commitments. Saturday, sadly is a memorial service for a family friend you heard me talk about a couple of times. So it is off to the High Desert.

Sunday, it will be off to the the L.A. Times Festival of Books. The Better Half and I have been going for about six years. I know you are all surprised, but they have enough coloring books on hand to keep me occupied. It is a great event, with good authors and great forums. This is one of those rare times I try to walk upright and put my opposing thumbs to use.

Well I have to get going and get this weekend started. I will save you from my nonsense, till next week. So please sit back and enjoy the dulcet tones of Rammstein.

Blogger: "Yes, Boski."

Boski: "I want to hurt you."

Blogger: "What was that?"

Boski: "You heard me"

Blogger: "I am sorry, what ever you were trying to say or post has disappeared"

Boski: "Blogger"

Nothing.

Boski: "Hello Blogger!"

Blogger: "Yes Boski"

Boski: "I am going to crack you head open and feast upon the gooey innards"

Silence

Blogger: "Boski were you saying something? Oops, just lost someone's post about coming up with a cure for Cancer. Wait one second someone has something very funny to say. Oh, I just lost it. So Boski, I have been waiting for uncreative rambling hairballs you cough out, as posts"

Boski's profanity laced tirade has been lost by Blogger.

Blogger: "Oh hello Boski, how long have you been sitting here?

Boski: "Why do you hate Blogger?"

Blogger: "How can I hate Mr. Boski, I am Cubs fan."

Boski: "I am so killing you"

Blogger: "What was that?"

Boski: "That's it. I am signing you up for Columbia House. Good luck trying to return that Best of Moby Grape."

Blogger: "Hey, who's hating now. That is just mean Boski."

Boski:"You bastard."

Message lost.


Boski Corp. does enjoy the free use of Blogger. This bad attempt at humor is a Boski Corp. Playhouse Players Productions feeble attempt to blow off steam after having another post lost. It may Blogger is actually doing the world a service.

Thank you for your patronage now enjoy "Match Game P.M. On Ice".

Mr. Gibson, you must be baking on something, because this so absurd. Damn, a Pauley Shore movie has more legitimacy than this.

Thinking about it here are a couple of items more plausible than that story:

Sirhan Sirhan marring a Kennedy.

The White Sox winning the World Series (a recurring theme)

German's scared of the French

Jerry Fallwell opening a casino in Vegas

Paris Hilton Pulitzer Prize Winning Author

The Saints covering when they are the favorite

The next pope: Ian Paisley.

Jar Jar Binks' face on Mount Rushmore.

The NHL returning.

Me rooting for USC.


Congrats Mr. Gibson you are now on the city council of Crazyville.


Oh I almost forgot. Sorry to be all on the political today but also caught a gander of this.

Mr. DeLay you are bucking for Mayor of Crazyville aren't you.


Thanks to Atrios for doing the heavy lifting.

From the Independent Republic of Texas.

After reading, I shouldn't be really surprised by it at all.

I don't know how the penguin driving is going to explain this one to the insurance company.

They are just going to screw it up all over again. Look I love college football, but this BCS sucks ass. Oh sure, I got to see a great Rose Bowl game, but the system is Howard the Duck bad. They will screw this up some how. The BSC has been tampered with more times than the Hilton Sisters. Just play the bowls and have a four team playoff, or something. There is a way that can be done profitably. Wouldn't be great to have more definitive way of determining a national champ. Hey, I am just saying.

No, my name is Clarence.


Just a snippet from Paul's Boutique, a classic. I heard that this morning, I could not resist. That is all now back to Quincy takes Manhattan.

I read this and it got me thinking. I wonder if these elephants are on DeLay's payroll (which is not a bad gig from what I hear) and that there were trying to get after any one in Seoul for leaking any info about his trip in 2001. It would not suprise me one bit if he did.

Well I did not injure, maim, fold, spindle or mutilated myself playing softball last night. A little sore, but not too bad. I am also pround in the fact that I did not doing anything that will permanently scar me.

Dateline Rome - When the Poppa John's delivery guy drove up people realized that the white smoke was not the Conclave making pizza it because the new Pope has been elected. He's German, which means the French are scared. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, is our new Pope. So that's what he been up to since Cheers. Hey it's Pope Cliff. No actually he will be named Livan and he will be a good man. Again just kidding, he will be name Pope Benedict XVI. That just does not roll of the tongue as well. I am surprised that this went so quickly. The Vatican got off cheap, what no haggling over salary or at least an new Papal Escalade. I think this was the third or fourth quickest election of a pope. I wish they would have taken more time. Our new pope is a conservative hardliner. Lets just say he thinks Pope Urban VIII was too leintent on Galileo and that because of it we have been tricked into believing this "revolve around the sun nonsense". I would like to have a Pope that can build a bridge between the conservative and more liberal wings of Catholism. There are issues that need to be addressed and the standard SOP is not going to cut it. Issues like: contraception, AIDS (esp. in Africa), the abuse scandals, apathy in Europe and North American, women in the church, continuing the fight for 3rd World Nations.

Well enough of that back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Coming up next: Judge Joe Brown Sings the Classics.

Well back from a pleasant weekend.

Friday got one last opportunity to watch the Anaheim Storm blow another three goal lead. Good to see they did not disappoint. Had a good time and will miss it until it come back next January. The Better Half and I hung out with my friend Dave and had a good time.

Saturday - got the car's A/C fixed. It sucked not having it, as the weather got warmer. Also it is nice to be able to turn on your A/C and not have it sound like flying the Red Baron. Saturday we helped out at a Habitat project. Well, we sat at the media table waiting for media that did not show up, but got to sit outside on a nice day. After getting the car, went home and watched what the Tivo had collected for us.

Sunday - we left the friendly confines of Fort Boski and wandered around and got some things done. Which culminated in the making of a Carne Asada Pizza, and it kicked ass.

So today as I get back into the swing of work and not writing volumes on athlete's I paid to see. I have to go get cleats. I am being drafted to play softball for the Better Half's company. 99.9% of the times I jump at it but I am not felling it. Oh I will still play, but I am dreading it. Either I screw up my knee or I am getting clocked in dome. Maybe both. Well if things go well I will only hurt what is left of my pride. Wish me luck and if I don't come back, please burn all of grammar and spelling errors and spread them across the parking lot of The Bun Boy Restaurant in Baker CA.

Did I hear this right? Madden on ESPN?(Or will he? I think he may get out of his contract and go back to Fox. Just a thought) Real football on NBC? No Pro Football on ABC? Has the world gone mad. Nope not really, just big bucks talking. I am surprised a little though. I did not think the Monday Night package was going to go to ESPN. But it makes a lot of sense. ESPN does a great job with Monday Night Countdown. So I see this working well for the NFL, ESPN and the viewer. Now there will be no more uncomfortable moments at sports bars and homes at 6:00 PST, when the TV is not turned and Monday Night Hype turns into Triple Lutz's and Ice Skating Challenges. I am also going enjoy no more really bad plugs for ABC shows that I am not going to watch. I just have to suffer one more year, I hope.

Football on NBC, I will like to see that. I did miss not watching games on NBC. Since NBC was the AFC network I was always watching it. It was my portal to the Broncos in the 80's and 90's. I was able to catch a ton of Bronco games during that time, thanks to the Raiders not selling out the L.A. Coliseum. Wow, I can thank the Raiders for something. Who knew? Oh those were the days. A young Bob Costas behind the desk. Ahmad Bobby Moore Rashad actually doing interviews worth watching before he rammed his head so far up Michael Jordan's ass. And finally Pete Axthelm. Oh Pete was gold. Think Jimmy the Greek but funnier, less drunk and not spewing racist comments.

Even as a Catholic there is a question I have never had answered. Is there a Junior College of Cardinals? You know for Bishops and priest who are not ready for a 4 year Cardinal College. It would be great if there was one. I hear it is a pain in the Papal Bull to get some of the required lower division courses you need to get before can graduate. Courses like: Pope History 200 (A & B), Intro to Sainthood 150, Papal Canon 301, and English 100.

Right now I am blogging from the comforts of the Boski compound. My boss let me leave very early today. They had an appointment and was not coming back, so away I go. The downside is missing out on the pay and the unfettered internet access. Arrrrggghhh!

The Better Half and I will be off for the last installment of Lacrosse tonight. So you will not have to hear me yammering about it for another year. So, if I do not blog for the rest of weekend, please enjoy. Also there are some Otter Pops in the fridge help yourself. But please leave me an Alexander the Grape. That is all I am asking people.

This article caught my eye this morning. I had to laugh at the 'I believe in open government...but I don't want you reading my stuff' comment. Oh you are a such a card sir. Part of me thinks the reason he does not use e-mail is because Cheney had to break it to him that his Speak N Spell does not have e-mail capability. The other part of me thinks that he and Jeff Gannon or Gerkin or whatever are the ones behind all the obscene spam e-mails everyone gets.

I was wondering if I had a T-shirt with Cardinal de Richeleau on it. Would I be cool, or would I just be another jackass? Maybe I should just stick with the George Gobel sucker punching a hobo.

I should not be surprised by this. Holy crap, I think Barry Goldwater called Tom and he would like for you to tone it down.

Thanks to Wonkette for the link.

Today, I felt a little like Navin R. Johnson when the NFL released it 2005 schedule.

I looked over the Broncos schedule and I can safely say. We are screwed. I have to stop being such a pessimist, but it is tough. I am a glass is smashed to pieces and the water has tried a long time ago kind of person. I am just going to have to relax, watch the draft, monitor training camp and hope every team loses all their starters to injury and bad clams.

Looking over some of the highlights of the new schedule.

Week #1 - @ Miami - Great, Nic Saban will win one game this year and it will be opening day. We have never win in Miami (Unless it is Super Bowl XXXIII). Broiling Hot, Muggy great way to start the season.

Week #4 @ Jacksonville - Another peach, going on the road after two tough home games S.D. and K.C. (Mon) to play in another hot muggy game. So we could be looking at 1-3 at this point. Maybe we will be still pissed about blowing last years game, that will we come to play.

Weeks 6 thru 8 - Two home games with a road game in the middle. What is the problem here Boski? Well the problem is those home games Philly (Week6) and New England (Week8) with the New York Giants as the road game. The Giants will win one game this year, and it will be Week 7. Screw you Eli and screw you New York. Thanks for giving the Chargers those draft picks. Nice, I can enjoy Martyball blow it in the playoffs again (wait , I kind of enjoy that though).

Week 12 - Thanksgiving - Great my family has to deal with me worrying about this one as we try to enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner. It will go over real well when the yams come back up as the Cowboys get a pick for six late.

Weeks 14 Baltimore - They beat us like Ray beats murder raps.

Weeks 15 thru 17 - All Saturday games. Three Saturday games? Nothing like Buffalo in December. Then it's home to Oakland and then off to S.D. to finish.

So after looking everything over, I say we are looking at 4-12, maybe 5-11. I know I am being too harsh. I do it so I will be surprised when they win 9 to 10 games. Shanahan has only had three non-winning seasons since he took over in '95. So, I should have some faith.

This has been a Martin Quinn Production.

Was trying to do some quick adjustments to the old blog and things got messed up and I can not blame Blogger. This time it was on me. I wish I could say it was due to head injury, or a drug addiction. Saddly it is just my amazing ability to be dumb. So please enjoy the minor tweaking.

This is a question that has plagued me for years and I have finally realized what my answer to it would be.



SURPISE!


I have not busted that one out since my days shooting hippos for Disney. It was either that or Xenon. I have always wanted to be noble (please insert bad laugh track here). Well I have Bohr'd you enough. Thank you folks that is all I have today in Chem Lab of Comedy. Tomorrow, "Mutiny on the Botany".

Blogger, I hate you. Oh sure I will keep using you since you are “free”. But I will secretly loathe you. Actually I will take back that “free” comment. Blogger is not free considering when you take the time to type up something that you put some heart and feeling into and then lose it because Blogger has to shit all over itself.

Well yesterday was that day. I took some time to talk about my weekend and how it fluctuated from great to awful. Talked about the fun time I had with my family, watching my nephew Tom play T-Ball, getting him his first set of baseball cards and then taking him to an Anaheim Storm game. And also finding out a family friend had passed away along with a family pet.

I spent about an hour working on it and to see it just disappear. Arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg! Well I am not going to try to rescale that mountain today. But I just wanted to get that off my chest and return you to the poorly written, grammatically challenged and boring View Master Slide that is my life.

Thanks.

I would like to correct a mistake from last week. Larry Bowa was fired at the end of last season. How could I forget that. So you can see I just don't have the baseball chops I used to.

Yes more stupid Lacrosse for you. Some how the sub .500 Anaheim Storm still have a shot at the last playoff spot in the West.

The wife and I are going to take our nephew after his little league game and dinner with the family. That will be a lot of fun. My sister told me that he got three hits in a game this week. Already at 6 better than I was. I went seasons with only 3 hits. I loved playing Little league, but I was so awful. I did not play well until the very end. At that point, I was playing against kids younger than me and I did not even reach Senior Majors. Wow, I sucked. Nothing worse than a slow uncoordinated kid trying to run the bases. Never hit a home run in my years of little league, but I did break a car window with a foul ball.

Also this weekend I am going to introduce my nephew to the world of baseball cards. I use to collect them back when it was fun and not an investment. My god, does the world really need that many choices in trading cards. Also 2.99 for 12 cards, WTF? No gum and no Biff Pocaroba's and Enos Cabell's! What is the point. So I got him some Topps cards and grab bag of no-bodies of the 80's & 90's. I hope he enjoys it. I can still remember my first pack of baseball cards. I got them for $0.20 on Catalina Island back in '78. I still can remember two of the cards I got out of that pack. They were Fergie Jenkins and Bill Campbell. What is scarier is one back of those cards they had a game you could play. Each card had a result. Single, Double, Fly Out, Pulled groin, you know the basics. But for Fergie he was Base on Balls and Campbells was Home Run. I can not remember what I filled this morning but I remembered that. I collected cards the old fashion way. Bought them by the pack. None of this get the whole set. So that way every time was like a lottery. But every time I would get a Carlton Fisk, the rest of the pack would be Mike Cubbage and Rafael Landestoy. I stopped in High School, when cards were costing the same as the GNP of most small nations. Since then I grab a pack or two when it hits me. But there was one card I need to get. A friend of mine busted this one out a couple years back and I still laugh about it.

I wanted this 1979 Topps card.

You think the name is good, it gets better.


On back of card:

Mark Lemongello is a cousin to Mike Lemongello, professional bowler, and Peter Lemongello, professional singer.

Oh wait there is more.

How can you top that.

Today went out to lunch with co-workers. It is a glorious day here, and all I could think about was Midnight Oil's Blue Sky Mining. I always drag that out when the weather gets nice. But it made me sad. Sad that I will never see them play live. No, Australia's Favorite Bald-Headed Activist, Singing and Dance Sensation (Please see the "Power and the Passion" video, you will know what I am talking about) had to go on leave. The Oil's (as the cool kids would say. Oh God they will beat me up if they know I am trying to be like them.) peaceably split up and stop making great music while groups like Hoobastunk, Sum 41 and New Found Glory are still allowed to breath? I ask where is the justice? Now Peter has gone. That is just great. While he is trying to help out his native land. What is doing for me?

Damn it guys, will you please get back together and come back one last time. I swear I will show up. I still kick myself for missing you in 90 and 2000 and every other time in between. Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh! Look if you playing in a parking lot in Beaumont. I will show up. Hell, I bring the Foster's. Come back please!

Great job guys. I thought he got rid of Billy Koch and his wonderful goatee that magically allowed teams to comeback from 3 runs down. Yesterday they did a stirring tribute to him with this performance fleece effort. Coco Crisp going deep WTF! Speaking of Billy, I wonder what he is up to these days?

Seriously Blogger what is up. Are back to huffing gas? What. I had more poorly spelt, grammar-challenge comedy iron-pyrite on my hands yesterday and only the voices in my head got the pleasure. Wait thinking about it I think Blogger may have spared you.

The White Sox are your AL Central Winner. At 2-0 the projections have been extrapolated and it will be Chicago 162-0 with a + - of 160.

Well today they put on some wonderful theatrics they spotted the Indians 3 runs. Go to the ninth and put up a four spot win. That's what I am talking about. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! I am just so giddy. I will enjoy this for the next couple of hours before reality sets in. Thank you for listening.

So are you ready to head off to Vegas with this gold I am giving you. Probably not, actually you are more likely to get ahead not listening to me anyway.

AL West

The California Angels - Not any of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim bullshit. Hell I just got use to the Anaheim Angels. You take away that crap and it is amazing what has happened with franchise since Disney got serious about selling and putting real baseball people in. Now they have an owner who will grab big name players while they are still able to get around without use of a walker. Even though I am a White Sox fan I grew up within a Bobby Grich home run from the stadium. I grew up in that park. Saw go from open stadium, to closed, back to open. I really enjoyed watching them exercise their demons in 2002, so I do have a soft spot for them. Well except for the team name issue, which again is crap. But they have the horses and will win this division, the post season we will see if not having an ace will bite them in the ass.

A's - Moneyball rides again. They clean house again and will still probably win. Like the Marlins they need a new stadium or be the next contestant on "Whose Moving to Vegas"

Rangers - Can we just have them and the Rockies play each other. It would be they great slow pitch softball game ever! Their pitching will let them down about July when their Middle relievers are getting more innings than the starters.

Mariners - Offense meet the Mariners, Mariners meet offense. Great idea guys, but you should have gotten some sticks when you have the pitching and defense.

AL

Twins - Oh look at us we are the Twins. We get no respect. We have no money. Waaaaaaaahhhhh! I do not care. Yes I am jealous and I do marvel at what they do and glad to see the White Sox trying to win the Twins way. But I am sick of the, "we do not get respect" when everyone does. The Twins do not get the respect because of two things. First is they are a small market team, sorry but true. Secondly, people are still pissed at Minnesota for Soul Asylum, Prince's Under the Cherry Moon and for allowing Husker Dü to break up. I hope Kent Hrbek makes a return to the Dome only to be put down by Animal Control because he has eaten and mauled most of the team.

White Sox - We are not going to be as bad a people say and I think we have a shot at the division. Why? Well the Twins are so due for a letdown (You can hear the begging in my voice can't you). The Sox could not win with the long ball, so why not pitching and defense. What we don't win anyway. Look, I am use to it. But I really want this team to succeed for Ozzie's sake and also they have my hero as the bench coach. They can't let me down, again?

Indians - I still hate these guys. So freaking smug during the 90's Well where did it get you. What's that David Justice's HR is about to land. Wow he hadn't hit anything that hard since his he was married to Halle Berry (I know it is dated and a low blow, but I pay the rent here)

Tigers - This is the hip new team that everyone thinks will hit it big. I think they will be entertaining, but a year away. Also Maggilo's knees. Since he not with the Sox it will mean he will hit 74 HR's and cure cancer.

Royals - Holy Amos Otis, this franchise is horrible. Wow they are making the old Kansas City A's look respectable. Wow it was just 20 years ago the Denkinger blew a call in game 6. It was a bad day for St. Louis and toilets. Mr Andujar, you know what I am sawing.

AL East

Yankees - I hate you pompous jackasses and I want you to fail. This goes double for Yankee fans, except those related to me and Artie Lange. Again this is out of pure jealousy. Lining up to buy another title.

Red Sox - Congrats on winning and breaking the "Curse" , but enough. Can you tone it down just a tad. Fine yell all you want when some one is wearing a Yankee hat near by, but the rest of us do not want to hear it. There are 28 other team other than you and the Yankees. Well maybe 20 if we take out the Royals, Brewers, Devil Rays, White Sox (Hey stop that), etc. First the Pats and now this, look Boston if the Celtics start winning again then I will check out. I am very sorry Chowd's but you people are unbearable when you win. Right now I can only stand a Cousin, Bill Simmons and a couple of Bloggers out there. Okay I feel better I have to get this off my chest.

Blue Jays - Don' t like the lids, but does it matter. Really pissed the Expos left. They have lost, well at least we are not the worst team in Canada. Right now their is a Canadian kid who thinking. Wow when do the Argonauts start training camp.

The O's - Even though this team is a favorite of my good friend Eric. I have only one things to say. The suffering you feeling now is all because of Tito F&^%ing Landrum. I hope that '83 World Series is keeping you warm at nights because you crushed the hopes and dreams of young White Sox fan. I think the curse will end when the homerun ball Eddie Murray hit in game 3 lands, so you have a while. So enjoy Sammy Sosa. What a horses ass. No Sammy you could not produce for us, you leave and get on the Juice and you can drive in runs. May the clams you eat always be bad. You see I have a problem letting things go.

Devil Rays - I think the D'Rays have a chance to get the Wild Card. A couple of breaks and about 1,293 injuries to all the AL teams and they about 8 games back. But if not , Tampa needs to seriously think about one thing. Insurance Fire. Think about it.

So here is what we have for the AL:

East - Yanks - Stupid jerks
Central -Twins - See above
West - Angels
Wild Card - White Sox!!! No they will come up short. I think that it will be close but the A's will weasel their way in. The White Sox will come up short and the Red Sox starting pitching will be a headache.

Your AL Champs - The Kansas City Royals. No I hate to admit but the Yankees will buy their way in after a 7 game series with the Angels.

The World Series - We will have a rematch of one my favorite books "October 64" and the Cards will win again in 7 and the Yankees will be pissed. Hopefully they will fall into dispair as they did the last time the played the Cards in the World Series.

Well that wasn't too bad. Oh wait you are reading it, but my speelling and graammar is not never bad.

Please file all complaints to management and you will get a free 12 piece Jackie Stewart coaster set.

Well, I thought since I am still interested in the season, well at least till the White Sox are eliminated. Hopefully that will be after they roll into town in May. But I thought I would give my amazing predications, dare I say Jane Dixonesque.

The National league

NL West

Giants - I think they will be able to hold the fort till Barry gets back and he will. I use to hate these guys because I have wonderful distaste for Northern California, not the place, just the people. But I somebody I went to school with is playing for them so I root for him more than the Giants. But they have the horse.

Dodgers - I do not know why everyone is down on them. A good part of me thinks they could win this division. The problem I have with Dodgers fans is they want it both ways. I am not the biggest McCort fan but he is getting things in line and DePodesta is trying to get this team out from under the Fox fiasco. I love the Dodgers sense of tradition, but they have to let some things go. Piazza is not coming back, yes it was a bad deal, but it is done.

Padres - You can not help but root for these guys. I have one suggestion. Stop the Camo Uniforms and go back to Old Carl's Jr. Uniforms (This is a long story and I will not bore you with it).

Rockies - Just like me, just waiting for the Broncos to start up.

Diamondbacks - Jerry Calengelo, I hope that World Series title was worth it. Look at what are left with, this, a lot of debt and the Suns, who you sold, are now #1 in the West.

NL Central

The Cards - Few holes and some more pitching, so I think they take home the title.

Astros - I just wish they would go back to the Rainbow Sherbert Uni's. Also is Roger Clemens worth that much? Roger got a great deal from the devil to still be pitching. I think went it is said and done the devil is getting the short end of this deal

Reds - No need for A/C in the Queen City as long as Adam Dunn plays. Plenty of cooling breezes.

Milwaukee - A city named which means the good land has a bad team. This season could be another Ben Ogilive special (ugly).

Pittsburgh - A great park with a bad AAA team. Look Dave Parker and Kent Tekulve are still alive, go out and get the cake hats and bumble bee uni's stat!

The Cubs - I hate this jackasses. As any self respecting White Sox fan should. I hate all of bastards and I hope all choke on your vomit. In fact, I may head to Rome and try to rekindle my attempt to make Steve Bartman a saint. More Cubs hate later.

NL East

Braves - All they do is win Division titles and then soil themselves in the post season. It's kind of a rite of Autum

Marlins- The New Expos, but with talent and two titles. I think it is time to either get them a stadium in Miami or move them to Vegas.

The Mets - Speaking of spring and another rite is about to begin. The Mets spend a ton in the off-season and come up short. Yes I do remember the 2000 World Series but they have spent a ton of money since and get little back. Come on people, Tom Glavine has not been the same and how can we forget the Mo Vaughn experience. The man pulled a groin trying to run out a ham sandwich. Again I could be wrong. I like Beltran, but Pedro is done and all he will be doing is cashing checks.

Philles - Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Just wanted to make them feel welcomed here. Thank god you are out that stadium and the Eagles are playing so well our you guys would be screwed. How does Larry Bowa have a job. They will hit a lot of HR's but come up short.

Nationals - Welcome back to DC it will be like you never left, you will still be losing.


So I am going with

Giants
Cards
Braves
Dodger - Wild Card

Cards NL champs again.

Hey the White Sox won 1-0 today. Sweet have we wrapped up the division yet? I know it is wishful thinking, but I can dream.

Yes.

Something has happened that I can not even believe myself. I got into an office pool where I found people who were worse than me. Some how I have staggered out of the wreckage of flaming brackets (I think they are playing at the Whiskey in May), a champion. Even before tip off tonight I have won an office pool. Even though I do not work at that office, I won none the less. Well the wife was the financial backer I just supplied the dumb luck. So hello new tax bracket because here comes Boski and his $30. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends. I can honsetly say I came very close to accomplishing absolutlty nothing this week. Watched my NFL Eurpoe, watch some college hoops and enjoyed a lovely meal with the wife on Saturday. Other than that, not a damn thing. I think I was out of my house for about 2 hours Saturday and on Sunday I took 4 steps outside my home.

I hope that this is some kind of bad April Fool's gag. Seriously Ron Dayne. Isn't he wanted in the Tri-State area for grand theft and impersonation of an Pro Football Player. I do now officially have a really bad feeling for the upcoming season. WTF! Well I am calling it a weekend. Ron Dayne, Ron Flippin Dayne!

It is that time folks. Can you feel the excitement? No, I thought so. Well tomorrow I can wake up tomorrow and watch this. I should be ashamed, but I not. I do enjoy watching it, not because I have a great desire to root on the Frankfurt Galaxy, even though they have appeared in 6 of the 12 World Bowls. I watch because I love seeing the technical side of football and trying to get a better understanding of playing calling and strategy. The play-by-play does a good job going into it. It is needed, since there are times the action may not be the most scintillating (surprise, surprise). So for the next couple of months I will be enjoying this sports equivalent of a trashy romance novel. Another example of why my wife is wrapping up sainthood.

It worked never mind, please go back to your business.

I going to kill Blogger and just like there service, I will do it for free. I just had some comedy gold be destoryed. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh.

Could not help but get a chuckle out of this. I need to ask if this was hit ordered by John McLaughlin. The notorious head of the McLaughlin Group.

We do live in scary times when Pat Buchanan seems moderate.

I do miss watching the Mc Laughling group from time to time. Well I liked the SNL version, but I did watching it with my dad back in my youth. I can hear it like it was just yesterday.

Mc Laughlin: Next question. What did I have for lunch, Jimmy Jimmy Jack Germond?

Germond: "I don't know how that fits in with this debate on Social Sec."

Mc Laughlin: "Wrong. Morton Kondracke, Kondracky, Jack Kerouac"

Kondracke: "Veal"

McLaughlin: "Wrong. The answer is 12 lbs of cocktail franks. Next question. On a scale from 2 to 34.872, with the letter Q being in just right of center-left. How will the Senate react to the season finale of Yes Dear? Lets start with Eleanor Clift, Clift, Montgomery Clift."

Clift: "I have never"

McLaughlin: "Wrong, Fred, Fred Right Said Fred Barnes what say you?"

Barnes: "4.89"

McLaughlin: "Wrong! Kondracke, Kondracke Smoke some Crack!

Konderacke: "I.."

Mc Laughlin: "Wrong! Patahtola Patterson.

Buchanan:"John"

McLaughlin:"Wrong! The answer is Lawrence Welk. Next issue, how pretty am I feeling?"

Back from lunch and I was able to hold sloth at bay for an hour. Got two things accomplished. One, went to Costco and picking up a few things. Two, getting outside in this beautiful 80 degree weather(It is about freaking time). So I can now say today was not a complete waste.

To top it all, listening to NWA's "Straight Out of Compton". Nothing like seeing MC Wonderbread here listening to Old School Gangsta rap.

Sweet.

I can say I have achieved very little today. Other than my doctoral paper on the Broncos off-season, I can safely say that today is a waste. No ones hassling me. So I am just chilling, reading blogs, posting on this sorry, blog, writing scary letters to Ruth Buzzi and planning to get Illka Sinisalo, Teemu Selanne, and Saku Koivu together and form either an Asia tribute band or jug band, not sure yet. Off to lunch.

As baseball approaches my minds wanders to. Drum roll please......the NFL. I am kind of curious about what is going on with the Broncos. I not so sure about this whole lets get the entire Cleveland Brown Defensive Front plan. I hope this is not Cleveland revenge for punking them in three AFC Championship Games. But hey we need DT and DE's. Our pass rush was craptastic. We need bigger and more talented bodies to free up the LB's. Right now the thought is they are going to try the Patriot hybrid and mix in 3-4 and 4-3 fronts. Which is great, if it works. But maybe we will see that (please excuse me for saying this) Butch Davis was right that these are good players, but he could not coach for shit at the pro level.

Quick thoughts on transactions this off season:

Hamilton (Resigned) - They needed to keep him, heir to play Center when Nalen hangs it up.

Neil (FA)- I think he will be back at a lower cost, no one has picked him up, yet.

Hayward (Lost FA Jacksonville)- He was alright, but not at the price Jacksonville paid. He may be worth it with Henderson and Stroud, but they said the same thing with Hugh Douglas.

Warren (Trade) - I think he will be worth a 4th round pick. He better be, since we will not have a 4th and 5th this year. Thank god we got the two 3rd round free-agent compensation picks, or the draft would really suck this year.

Herndon (Restricted FA Lost SEA)- He played very well, at least until the Indy beat down. But they could not afford him and they were not going to get any compensation for him. This means that Walls has to stay health. We need him to match up against Moss in the Red Zone. We also need Middlebrooks to prove he is not a bust, and someone else needs to step up.

Putizer (Restricted FA Resigned)- Listen Jeb, catch the ball in the Red Zone and you will keep your family feed.

Alexander (FA) - I am not sold on him, but they need more options in the passing game especially near the goal line.

Gold (FA) - Great to have him back. Thanks you Jon Gruden for renting him for a year. That rental got us a 3rd round draft pick as compensation, this year. I love having him back as a weapon to rush the QB and run with RB and TE's in space. If they can stay healthy this is a great LB group on paper. Now they just have to play up to their potential.

Burns, Leach and Baker (FA and resigns) - Please do not suck, our special teams suck enough. Hopefully Burns will provide leadership. Leach - long snapping is the NFL version of crafty left hander. These guys stay in forever. All I ask is do not go Trey Junkin on us. Baker, the first kickoff you knock out of bounds, you are getting a 5-iron beat down.

Carsile (Re-signed) - The team is high on him and enough so that they did not have Neil come back, so hopefully their faith will be rewarded.

Droughns (Traded to Cleveland) - I am sorry to see him go, but with Griffin, Bell and Anderson it would not be fair to him. Also the team like Johnson in the FB slot. The team really needs a hammerhead with some hands in the FB spot. They need to find the heir to Howard Griffith. The unsung hero of the Super Bowl years.

Brown - (FA) Please, please try to stay healthy and make some kind of impact. You do not have to go to the Pro Bowl, but make some plays.

Ekuban (Trade from Cleveland) Great name, please go Alfred Williams on us and surprise up with you ability. Give us a consistent presence off the edge and don't be a liability against the run.

Myers (Trade from Cleveland) I will buy the hockey mask, just as long as you go all Crystal Lake over the opponents. He will fill the need for a big ugly in the middle along with Warren.

Pryce (????) I do not know where I stand on this. DL who can rush the passer and post against the run are rare these days. Anyone who can play every down is vital, but what do you do? He has a huge cap number, which he has earned. But he sat out almost all of last season because of a back injury. So he might be damaged goods. Right now, I still leaning toward keeping him and try to rework his contract, because now they DL that is a good deal better than last year's. But if they can swing something to move up in the first to get a play maker WR or DB then do it, or get picks for next year. I will miss him if he goes. The man wore 93 and did not look like a fool doing it.

Well Mike, the ball is your court. You have the final say in the personnel moves and you have kept this team winning since Elway, but we have not won when it counts. Look like I have drunk the Kool-Aid don't make me regret it.

Well it looks like my quick observation has turned in a Proust-fest. Don't worry it is not as bad as the Creative Writing project I did in college on the Broncos which ended up be hand written 12 pages, front and back. And that was just my memories from '77 till '92. I am a sad little man.

Sadly this has become a lost art. I can not stay a sleep, at nights. I sleep in 2 hours shifts, then I am up, but usually I get back to some kind of sleep. Well except last night. I just could not get to sleep. When the alarm went off me to go to the gym, I was fried. I just could not get up and get going. To make things worse, I still could not get any real rest after that. I laid there tired, but I could not even get a hour worth of sleep. So I am trashed for today. This is starting to piss the hell out of me. I do not remember the last time I slept uninterrupted through the night. Arrrrgggghhhhh.

Hello kids, I back. I had to go take care of very personal business yesterday. My brother and I went out to Apple Valley to see a family friend who is very ill.

When did Rancho Cucamonga go from being a punch line to a major suburb? Well it is still a punchline. It is not worth it people. I know housing prices suck and it is a crime that people can not find affordable housing in the areas they would like, but come on. Oh sure, you have a lovely home, but all the money you saved will go to gas and A/C. So you live in Hisperia, but you work in LA. Is four hours in you car worth it? That's right I didn't think so. I have no problem with people living there, but have a plan and develop a proper infrastructure. The High Desert is such a beautiful place, if you remove the Meth'd out Mullet's of the 909 and the land developers who are running amok. I like being out there, and would love to spend time in it, away from the all the crap. Yesterday was spectacular seeing the snow on the mountains from the other side, without the smog. That is what I love not seeing rows and rows of cookie cutter homes.

The Joshua Tree, not only a great album, but a wonderful place it see. A place I will go and see one day.

Coming back was tough, if we did not have to be anywhere my brother and I thought "we can get to State Line in two hours." Just two hours away from the Bonnie and Clyde Death car. I so badly need to get to Las Vegas.

More on that later.

Well had a decent weekend. The wife and I got out Saturday and took in the Irvine Farmers Market and plundered what we needed. Then went to my friend The King of the Desert Hooligans and his wife's home for their daughters second birthday. They thanked us for bring a gift that did not make noise. I had a good time even though most of the kids their were more mature than me and probably better behaved. My wife had too worry about her 33 year old "child" running around the yard like a crazy person with the kids. I think a six year old asked me to "grow up".

After hanging out there, we had to shuffle off to wife's alumni even for her university. It was a small group this time, but we had fun. My wife organized a night of dinner and some lacrossey goodness. Which was a great game. I was glad the Anaheim decided pull their heads out and not blow another 3 goal lead late in the game. Oh they tried and allowed San Jose to score with under a minute of regulation. But that just meant we were going to be treated to "Free Lacrosse".

Sunday got up and went to Mass at 11, which was not too bad. I did not have someone ramming their elbow into my ribs for an hour. But after that finally got back to playing my PS2. It was so good to play Madden again. But I forgot that I need to readjust the setting. It was on a lower skill level. I knew something was not right when I was taking Frankfurt and putting up 56 points on Colonge with J.T. O'Sullivan. Yeah, I know I was using two NFLE teams but still I am not that good to be putting up a 56 spot on someone in the first half. Speaking of not right, I am going to do the following.

Sunday afternoon watched clips of the Easter Egg Hunt and Egg Roll on the White House lawn. I will say that Congress needs to look at testing these kids. There were quite a few of these kids that just did not seem right.

Quite a few kids with serious back acne.

One kid had a horn growing out of there head.

Nothing like seeing 6 year olds with 11 inch arms.

One seven-year old knocked over Marine One.

BALCO President and Tower Power Bass Player - Victor Conte was the MC.

There was also an adorable set of twin girls who did every well in the competition. They were so cute with their pig tails, their Easter bonnets and their matching Mark McGwire goatees.

Finally, the kid who really impressed me was this 4 year old who did had 4.45 40 time. The kids has a future in the NFL, along with egg hunts, but the kid is only 33 inches tall, so he would not match up well against the bigger wide receivers. Also the kid only did 9 reps of 225 and he colored all over the Wonderlick. I think this kid should not come out for the draft yet. It would be best if they could get another year of Kindercare, but the NFL needs DB's. We will just have to wait and see.

Sunday night had a lovely Easter dinner with my family, except for one who out of town on business and could not get back. We went to my oldest brother's mother-in-law's home. Everyone had a good time, even me until midway through dinner when I decided to wallow in my own self-hate, which was brought on by my nemesis, myself. I had one of those, "what they hell are you doing with you life?" And "why are you still underachieveing at this point in your life"? So I moped the rest of the night. I tried to play it off as being tired and having a lot on my mind. Sadly, I do this time to time. I just wish I wouldn't have done it, so I could have enjoyed being with the people I love.

Just when you thinks things can't get any stranger.

For what its worth, I still think the Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall is better.

Oh wait, I just remembered, I do have something that will top that. Listen yo, 911 is a joke. Especially, if you can't get your burger, your way.

I both laughed and cried over this one. Laughed because this woman took the time to call 911, about her burger. Then cried because that woman lives in Orange County. Someone needs to take the kids away from her.

Thanks ATC for the link.

Last night, my 80's tie chances of being in the hunt for one of my pools was saved thanks to the Illini, Louisville and Arizona. But I am pretty sure that UNC right now is enjoy a pre-game meal of bad clams and poorly prepard pork. I look for them to foul things up tonight. But there was some good hoops at least. Hey any time Bobby Knight loses, its a good thing.

As I prepare to head home, I see that the Illini are only up 4 to UWM. If the UWM wins, I am so going Frank DeFazio on their asses, until they are just a pile of Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The player I most want to see come out of the NFL draft and be a star is Craphonso Thorpe. I can already see Mel Kiper piping in, "Well the Saints really stepped into it, with that pick." Oh the scatological humor to be had.

Here's to you Mr. Thorpe may you be the crappiest draft selection, since Ryan Leaf.

Oh Pat O'Brien, what hilarity are you up to next. I hope everyone takes the time to listen to Pat dialing while drunk. It makes me ponder a hypothetical (Which should be a band name). Do you think these kind of phone calls were made back in the 70's and 80's? Do you think a person like Foster Brooks would get on the phone and make obscene calls to Angie Dickinson, Betty White and Charles Nelson Reilly, while liquored up? For all of those concerned and want to keep up on Pat. I recommend that you go here to get a "first hand" account on how Pat is doing. Remember Pat, courage.

Must give credit to TWS site for the "Insider" dirt on Pat and his addiction to Vodka and schlocky self-promotion. I know, I know I should not kick the guy when he is down, but it is the only chance I can kick and then run away unharmed.

A couple of days ago a ran across an SNL sketch I had forgotten about.

Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Best dam salesman in the office!

Some of my favorites:

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

And just like the Death Star it will probably get blown apart, but I have tried to make this look like a grown up blog, not one a parent puts on the fridge. Well it is a start. I am almost proud of myself, until I realize a chimp could have done this...weeks ago.

I have always wondered about if there was a hierarchy for the following groups:

Hobos
Bums
Vagabond's
Tramps
Gypsy's
Carneys
etc.

It is a question that has always vexed me. I need to know! I must know the correct etiquette when I am amongst them. For example, would it be offensive if I showed up to Hobo hootenanay, with a couple of Bums? Would I be insulting their Hobo King, or duly elected Hobo Representative? If so then what? Should I expect to be cut by a band of blood-thirsty hobos? Could I bargain my way out with beef jerky? So as you can see I am in dire need of knowledge on this subject. So please if you have a heart you will help.

Thank you, now please enjoy Ultimate Fighting Championship featuring Glass Tiger.

ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH. I hate that we are still having real weather. This is Southern California, it only rains for about 7 to 10 days and that is it. The rest of the time it's 70's and 80's.
Even our local news is getting board with the rain. They have called off Storm Watch 2005 due to indifference.

In my opinion, this current storm is just Jesus crying that Pat O'Brien is in rehab. NOOOOOOO! What about the Insider? Who is going to shamelessly drop names and be a whore for celebrates. Why did they have get Pat, he was so young!

My god, if we lose the 'The Insider' then the Terrorists have won. We will have only 20 hours of daily programming dedicated to entertainment news. We can not let the American people be forced to watch the "real" news. Some of them may accidentally go to news outlets that actually talk about the news. News outlets that are not "fair & balanced"/prepackaged/fake.

I think this country can come together and rally behind it beloved entertainment news. Right now they need us more than ever. Pat O'Brien would want us to.

Courage.

The 'Back to Future Franchise' would have sucked major ass, it if wasn't for this guy. Let' see if Bob Zemeckis gets a sequel, if tried using a Reliant K Car.

John DeLorean has left us for that big auto manufacturer in the sky. Either that, or he is really sleepy. I would like to thank him for creating the greatest stainless steel, cocaine induced auto ever to be manufacturer in Northern Ireland. Thanks for helping trying to give so folks jobs. But you will be missed you Coke selling, wacky gull-winged auto designing, Day-Time TV Hostess marring, crazy S.O.B.

But on a darker note, I am shocked and saddened beyond all reasonable thought. I have not been this sad since, the Chief died on 'Gimme a Break' . What is America doing to protect it's 80's icons. We have already lost Falco. And who did not cry when science proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pia Zdroa had no talent. Right now many of this national treasures are at risk. Has any one heard from Skippy from 'Family Ties' or Boner from 'Growing Pains'? Are Men Without Hats, still hatless? Where are all the Atari 2600's? Look people we have to get on this, or one day we will wake up in a world without Taco. How can we face future generations and tell them that we let this one man Dutch supergroup just fade away. I shutter at that thought.

Well as Monday dawns, I have climbed out of the wreckage that was my brackets. All I can say is I am a total failure when it comes to these things. I think in one pool I have achieved a negative score.

Well an end of another uneventful week in which I have reconfirmmed that when it comes to picking the NCAA tourney. I suck and maybe developmentally challenged. Let's say that the difference between me and Corky from 'Life Goes On'. He has an agent.

So far today I am doing alright other than the Lobos. Hey great job New Mexico, 11 points in the first-half. Way to get it done.

Last night was a wonderful display of suckatude. How about that wonderful performance from LSU last night? Look gentlemen, it is not advised to be huffing gas before a big game. You could have waited till Saturday. Let stay in the S.E.C sucks as department. Alabama thanks for soiling yourselves in front of a national audience. Florida nearly got mauled by those pesky Bobcats of Ohio. UCLA, it wouldn't have killed you to take a jumper inside of 27 Feet. Something to think about. But I do have confidence that by the end of this evening I will be in no danger of success, and I can enjoy the well earned ridicule from friends, family and myself.

Greetings everyone, I want to wish a Happy St. Patrick's day to all of you who are either sober, or in various stages of puking up a hubcap for a 74 Firebird.

I love St. Patrick's Day, and not for the drinking. It has always been a holiday in the Boski home. Nothing elaborate, but we would have corn beef, play the Clancy Brother tunes and watch the Quiet Man. Since it was the only Irish movie they would show on TV.

Boski Film suggestions for St. Patrick's Day - Well I am not going to give you anything heavy, like the Bloody Sunday or The Magdalene Sisters. I suggest the these:

Waking Ned Devine

The Snapper

The Van

and one of my personal favs An Everlasting Piece


It is also a holiday I really miss my father. I would have loved to been able to send a couple St. Patrick's Days with him after college. I think it would have been fun. Well I have rambled enough about this subject.

Speaking of green. Last night I witnessed something that I did not believed to be true. Oh, I heard stories about it, but I thought it only existed in the minds of a sick individual. I would thought I would have seen the following before I saw this:

a unicorn

the Loch Ness Monster

Atlantas

A German stand up comic

A White Sox World Series

and a Fox reality show that has dignity.

Yes, Fear Factor for Green Cards. I think this fall I will be watching a Unicorn from Atlantis lead the White Sox to a World Series title. During that World Series, I will be seeing promos for a new reality show about a German stand up and the Loch Ness Monster helping blind kids on Fox.

After watching this show the Frito Bandito and Speedy Gonzalez called and asked if they could tone it down.

After that, my wives addiction to Road Rules/Real World returned. It is fun watching. It is very life affirming, like Springer. You can not feel that you are a better person because you are not one of these knobs, even though they are getting nice swag and money for being complete a-holes. After an hour of the Miz, we could not help but watch Newlyweds. I know I rant about reality TV. But this is not reality this is bizzaro world. How is she even able breath being that dumb. Nick, thanks asshole, because of you I picked Iowa in the tourney. He used to have some redeeming qualities, even though he was in a boy band. But he did a lot of it on his own and he busted is ass to get to where he was. But now he is as much of a jackass as she is dumb. He could have toned down the jackass he would be set when after he kills Jessica. Because we all seeing it coming. He could of pull out the tapes and said "Judge, did you see what I have to deal with". (Boski Corp. does not condone killing and only uses the remake for comic purposes. If you are offended and live to complain, please send all complaints to Food and Drug Administration) But now it is nice to see him rotting in his own little hell. So Nick, Jessica and all the Simpson, that includes you cousin O.J. go make sweet, sweet love to a meat grinder.

I have to get back to watching the rest of my brackets fall to pieces. Already lost three games so far. Sweet.

I think I may be in trouble already with my picks. I think just before tip-off of the Play-In game I was mathimatically eliminated in my pool.

But there are a couple of things I do know:

Never pick a team that sounds like a person's first or last name, unless that name is Duke or Stanford, maybe Butler.

More directions and add-on's a school name has means a far greater chance of not advancing. Example North Carolina good - East Northwestern Missori Southern State A & M will not advance or collect $200 if it ever got to the toruney.

Please sit back and enjoy Moby Grape.