I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. I have been busy with getting stuff done and recovering from the Holiday. I would like to say thank you to anyone of you out there who helped with my birthday/Christmas gift, look you all have done enough first the White Sox and now... whoa I just got a little lightheaded thinking about it, but Ron Dayne hitting not one hole but hitting two. In the same game, come on. Holy crap did I see that, did he save the Broncos on national television. Look I will say this now, skip giving Shanahan Coach of the Year. Just give him a Noble for science since he has been able to craft a 9-2 team with Dayne, the Cleveland Boatlift and Jake Plummer.

Other than that I have gotten a couple of things done, some shopping, some home repair, important football watching. You know the important stuff. Well it looks like my free time ends today. I wish I could have done more blogging on my time off, but then I do my best work when in captivity and without a dial up.

So I will make my pre-Boxing Day resolution, more grain alcohol and more blogging.

So again to all of you out in Bloggytown I wish you a belated Happy Holidays.

Now back the best of "What's Happening"



Did my reading up on this weeks NFL games

Checked my Roto lineups

Berated the Cubs on Sportingnews.com

Put people on hold

Thought out Birthday/Christmas List

Planned for Vegas

Make football picks

Commented on blogs

Checked e-mail

Played Spider Solitaire

Had lunch

Man they are working me to death here. I am earning every cent I am being paid. This is really cutting into my time wasting exercises.

Well today ends my foray into the world GPS and vehicle tracking. It was just yesterday I started as a fresh faced lad, and now battle hardened veteran of a month. I think about the memories I as I reflect on the hours spent here (cue Kenny Roger's "Through the Years"). I realized that this is not what I did not want to do. The people here were great, very kind and patient, but the job and the customers sucked a lot of ass. Many of them I wish that their holiday are filled with swift kicks in the colon.

Well I must get going, I have to check imdb.com for something very important. Hmmmmm the filmography of Jimmy Walker, intresting.

Yesterday was blistering fury of action, on the most furious but tastiest blog this side of Ontario. Wasn't just yesterday I got to 300. Now I am at 375 and I am still making very little sense and in fact at this point I may have already stopped making sense.

I am still trying to figure out my blog's voice. Where do I take this blog? Other than running it, and the English language into the ground. I want to entertain you good people and since my off, off, off, off Broadway production of The Norman Fell Chronicles failed misarably (It was panned after just one performance at the TGIF foray in Brea, California). I have been at loss for good ideas. Well I am still hard at work trying to make all you at least chortle and maybe guffaw during the day.

Coming up next C.S.I. Liddsville.

Good to see Dick is back and as angry as ever.

I love to hear him say, what we were witnessing was "a wild departure" from the tradition of truth and good faith in conducting national debate". That's funny Dick thats the problem I have with you underling, sorry again I am always forgetting your boss. Mr. Dickus any good faith this administration had is gone with all the B.S. that has been allowed in Iraq, in our name. Let us not forget that little thing called the Downing Street Memo. And those guys are on our side. Also thanks to the atmosphere you help creare there was no room for any kind of opposing viewpoint on this war. If you did not support it, then you were either a coward or a traitor. Let us not forget that this junta also exposed a CIA Op. because it did not like that her husband questioned our information and reasons for this war.

I also love the whole, "well you Dems saw the same info as everyone else and supported the war". So shut you mouths and do what we say. Again it was information you provided, so it show that you are the world class douches for being so blind and ignorant, you are right though we should have made more of an effort to make you bastard explain yourselfs. That would have been fun.

And cute cuddly Dick also tossed out,

"What we're hearing now is some politicians contradicting their own statements and making a play for political advantage in the middle of a war,".

Wow, shame on those who want accountability and clear answers to an issue that will affect us for years. Let's not forget thanks to the taxes cuts, disasters and this war, we are working on not leaving any of kids behind when it comes to the national debt. They will all have enough.

and finally,

"The saddest part is that our people in uniform have been subjected to these cynical and pernicious falsehoods day in and day out." Hey Dickie what about those people in uniform subjected to falsehoods by the people who sent them. Again Dick you are right we should not think about under armored vehicles, stop-loss orders, lack of body armor, and serving our troops rotten food (thanks KRBie). All the while you are cutting VA benefits. Shame shame on us.

So Mr. Cheney please go make sweet, sweet love to blowtorch.

Ford announces a new incentive plan to help with sales. Maybe they will actually make some thing that is not a truck or a small nationsized SUV's that does not suck ass.

Hey Ford, how about also not trying to buy other manufacturer and try to screw them up, oh like Mazda and Volvo. Your doing just fine screwing up your own product. I am just trying to be helpful.

When after sneezing you are in pain from shoulders down through your hands that lingers for a little bit. Hmmm, it looks like I am going to have to put off taking up sniffing snuff. Damn, I was so looking forward to pulling out the old powdered wig.

Friday night the BH cemented the "Best Wife for Goofy Husband Award". She is taking me to a magical place. A place I have not been in seven years, Las Wonderful Vegas.

She was going to keep the location a surprise, but was tripped up accidentally by my sister. Who will be their with he husband/brother-in-law and all-around great guy, the same weekend as us. I will be chilling at the Venetian. There I will be headlining two shows nightly with Shecky Green opening. The last time I saw the place it was under construction. I hope I can remember the rules of gambling. Hey splitting face cards is good right?

Oh this is going to be like so awesome. Listen to me you think it was the week TigerBeat had Scott Baio on the cover. . . oh again I have said way too much.

One month away. I just have to get through the next month. Just in time, now I will be able to say I go to Vegas during its centennial. YEEEESSSSS!

Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles kicks some serious ass.

Drew Olson throwing for half a K against ASU. It hearkened back to the days of Cade McNown. He was one of the most exciting college QB's ever. I still get chills thinking about the comeback against SC in '96. Man did he flame out in the pros. Cade you should have read the fine print on that contract with Satan.

It was good to see them win. Wished they showed the effort in Tucson. But now the Bruins get two weeks to prepare to take on USC. Of what joy it would be if the Bruins end the streak, and keep the Trojans out of the Rose Bowl. Even though the Trojans should go even if they lose. I think (even though I hate to say it) they deserve to be there and play Texas. But then what do I know about college football, the "experts" think college football does not exist west of Oklahoma, except at USC.

Well kids I have been busy of late, but got some unexpected good news. This assignment is ending this week. This week has been just one big festering assclam of hate. I have been doing front desk duty the past two days which sucks ass. I can do it and I do "break" the person who is the receptionist, but 8 hours I just want to punch someone in the mouth. I hate the barrage of calls mostly for jackasses who think being put into voicemail is worse than being beaten with a rake. I keep hearing "I want to talk to someone about my account or bill no one gets back to me". Well if you improve that attitude and pay your bill in a timely matter maybe people would talk to you. To all of you people may someone punch you in the colon.

But Monday afternoon I got a pardon from the governor. Why do I feel more confident in the metaphorical governor in that phrase than I do in our alleged governor? I had just gotten back from a short lunch, in which I drove by the agency where I wanted to walk in and say, "I am done. I can not handle this any more", I was having my will to live being drained from me, my rep from the Temp agency came in. She said hello and then gave me a serious look, like "Matt we know you have been stealing weapons grade plutonium and pens and we know you running a midget rodeo out back." But it was better. She told me that they were moving the customer service department to Canada. Thank you NAFTA! I am going to be out of this assignment and I still look good doing it. But the only drawback to being a free man is I will be spending it cleaning our house as we will be having the BH's dad and wife coming down for a state visit. Yikes! There is so much shit to be done and I am not the man to do it, well do it right. But I will try. So it is back to free agent pool. I swear I think I am becoming the Vinny Testeverde of temps.

11/11/05

Oh P.S.

Hey Dick you new Chief of Staff is also an asshole as well. I really love that he help author the "torture memo". The Yahoo story I read said he is just like you and he take the limelight. Does this mean you and Rove had a vampire like child. Hey, I am just asking.

it makes me sad that we have had so many die in defense of this country and the freedoms we should cherish.

What makes me think this on Veterans Day?

First Bill O'Reilly step up you are a contestant on "The Biggest Jackass". I should not be surprised that you would say something this dumb. But I hold out hope that one day you will realize that you are an asshole and will think before you speak. Hey I do not mind we hold different political views, but seriously. You know what Bill it is people like you that make me say, "wow, I think Cromwell did not go far enough."

Second, Dick Cheney at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Mr. "I had other priorities so I need a deferment". Hell at least George went through the motions by hiding in the National Guard. I am glad we are honoring those who served and fell in combat defending this country. It just make me angry to see him a man who has a hand in "Messopotamia" (thanks Daily Show). You are such an ass.

Lastly, Alfred E. Newman. I would like to thank you Mr. President for your contributions on Veterans Day. Thanks to you, you have added to numbers of those who fallen. But then it was "Mission Accomplish" wasn't it? So you take today to try to prop up your mess.

Hey, I loved that you and the "cadre of crazy" are more concerned about who leaked where we are torturing people, than finding out who is leaking info about CIA ops, or that the wonderful war you lead us into was based on lies. Oh sure I am not a fan of Saddam and that the nation majority was held suppressed, but thanks to your quick thinking and action we screw it all up. You could not take the time to read or listen to your dad about Iraq. If you were going to fight this war you should have at least done it right. Now you have compromised our military and home land security. This, your tax cuts, and budget slashing, you wonder why people feel like this (it is a shame more could not have felt like this in Nov.) But hey you have the last laugh you in office for the next three years and if you play your cards right maybe more. So get some rest, "playing president" is tough work.

Good job Georgie.

that he is going to punch Pat Robertson in the mouth.

I glad to see that you have so much hate that you can share with everyone.

Good job Robertsonie!

It is not even nine yet and I am already done. Note to self ask for Motivation and Ambition for Christmas. But wait, that will take effort to write that down. Rats!

Hey Kristy Alley is no longer a fat actress, now just annoying one. Good for you Kristy.

I am not surprised. I just wish you could have done a better job on I and II. Come to think of it I do have a hankering to shoot an Ewok right now.

To our lovely Govenator, SCOREBOARD!

Oh the irony, Texas has voted for a ban against gay marriage, but still supports a president intent on sodimizing this country.

Terrell the only thing missing from your press conference was Vince McMahon. If you are going to go the WWF route get a new agent. I think you would have your new contract if you had Classy Freddy Blasie in your corner, God rest his soul. The Eagles would be trembling after a couple, "you pencil neck geeks". But then no one listens to me.

This would have never been allowed if Maggie Thatcher was still in charge.

Come on they have suffered enough.

I am going to step bravely into that world of MP3 Players. I do not think I am ready for the 40 GB Ipod. I am looking for something from 512K to 2 GB. I want one that can hold a little music but I could take to the gym.

I don't know why I did not see this sooner. But I think I know what has been the cause of George W. Bush's problems. The writing at MAD Magazine has been awful for years and Cracked has not been funny since his dad was in office. Look its probably the only things he can read, well at least on his own. Well he still need Grampa Cheney to help with the big words.

Look I love football just as much as the next guy. Okay I am lying, I love it and you have heard me rant about that on this Farroe Island of a blog. But I was dumbstruck by the current issue of Sports Illustrated. On the cover was a huge splashy headline about tonight's game. I know it is a big game, but it is a regular season game still. Yes it could decide home field down the road, but a regular season game non the less. So Boski why are you squawking? Well I am smidge perturbed that the White Sox are given a silver dollar sized mention in the upper right corner. WTF? 88 years is not good enough for a cover, come on. I really love the extensive 5 pages you gave to it. I have one theory is that they are "saving" the White Sox stuff anyone who wants to get a subscription. Which is piss poor. As mad as I got at the Sporting News for their low opinion of the Sox come playoff time they at least gave the Sox the cover this week.

Are the White Sox that offensive to everyone.? Was this World Series such a shame that we have to sweep it under the rug. The Sox had a great post-season run and was the team I hear everyone pine about. But know its like the lights went on in the club and people are taken aback by what they see. I think the Cubs, Twins and Indians are all behind this?

Look last year the Red Sox swept the World Series and got the cover they were not punished for finishing off the Cards. It was made into a celebration. The White Sox, nope, thanks for coming. I know for Damn sure if the f'ing Cubs won we would be subjected to 24 hours of Cubapoluza. A whole cable channel dedicated to the cable channel dedicated to celebrating the Cubs. Look I should not be bitter, we won. But come on America take some time and savor what just happened. A team that had been label a "loser" finally won. It crawled out of the mire of its inepititude and won, when no one thought they would. It is a great American story no matter where you put, well execpt Cleveland, Minnesota and the Northside of Chicago.

Sorry to rant, but come on 88 years and we can't get a cover.

11/4/05

Odds and Ends.

Is this the Vikings new ad campaign to sell tickets?

It only getting better for Louisiana, I wonder what two Republican controlled states will be asked for. Knowing this president, nothing.

Excuse me Mr. President I think I found the WMD's, oh wait it's just K-Fed's "record". Still I think you may need to step in here. Someone is going to get hurt.

No, they are saying "Boooooosh" Mr. President. Funny that never happens when you have your "town hall meetings" , or "talking" the troops. They must not get Fox News there.

It is about time to hear what Mr.Cheney has to say for himself, since most of the time he has his hand up GW's ass making him talk.

I think some of this needs to get to the Tobin's.

That all for now, lets get back to a very special episode of Benson.

Last evening the Better Half was continued toward winning the 2005 "Best Wife for a Goofy Husband Award". I thought the champagne after the White Sox win was enough, but she pulls out one more thing. M&M's, yes i said M&M's. Last evening we arrived home from a hard days slog in the free market system to see a package. It was from M&M/Mars company. Inside were packets of specialty colored M&M's. A couple of bags of black, white and silver. Okay, Boski that's nice and all. Wait there is more. She had them put on the M&M's "2005 WS Champs". Now that is an awesome wife. Those will be the tastiest M&M's I will never eat.

It was just so much fun. Oh it seems just days ago I was sweating out some of the best October baseball I will ever see. Hmmmmmmm playoff baseball.

Again I think I have to file this under, "Holy Shit is this really real, but then I should not be surprised since this is one of GW's lackeys" My this file is one that keeps getting larger.

Some of my favorite snippets

"Shortly after 7 a.m. on the morning of the storm, a FEMA public affairs official sent Brown an e-mail complimenting him on the outfit he wore during a national television briefing. In response to the e-mail, whose subject was Re: New Orleans update, Brown said, "I got it at Nordstroms, then added, "Are you proud of me? Can I quit now? Can I go home?"

and

"On Aug. 31, FEMA official Marty Bahamonde sent Brown a desperate e-mail
from New Orleans, calling the situation past critical. Describing patients in
temporary emergency shelters, Bahamonde wrote, Estimates are many will die
within hours.

He also wrote, "We are out of food and running out of water at the dome, plans in works to address the critical need."


Brown's reply to the e-mail was: "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?"

WTF! Oh I sorry if thinterrupting is interupting your day. Wow if this was your best effort ("Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job.") I shutter to think what would have happened if you were at your worst.

Wait, I have thought it over Mr. Brown, I will not hurl any more blame on you and the job you did. I will only hurl my fists into your grill. Have a nice day.

50 Cent and Kanye square off. But I do not think that Douglas punked Lincoln about his album.

This harkens back to when the Sugar Hill Gang and Funk Four Plus one got into a heated debate over the impact of trade deficit.

Hey I am all for freedom of speech, even though I think 50 is wrong. Mr. Cent, if Mr. Bush cared then he would have reacted more like (to use a paraphrase from your song "20 Questions") a "fat kid likes cake", to the disaster then maybe everything would not be f'ed up.

Thank you now try the salmon.

Mr. Reid thank you for pissing off those jackasses.

I just love how Frist and those other chuckleheads are yelling this is not fair. Hey, here is an idea read the f'ing rules. Well you know what, go make love to a hot plate. America and the world needs answers and the White House has not been accountable.

I can not stand the whinnying that the Cons make over this and all of the Bush mistakes. That W is always right and the Dems just want to hijack this country and destroy it by lying and cheating. And they have the never to call us the whinners. I also love how they are calling this whole CIA leak is a witch hunt. What has Whitewater and Monica Lewinski? I am sorry last time I checked that leaking a CIA ops identity was a crime. The difference between this and other Bush blunders and Clinton's misteps is that there are people dying. And this little military misadventure could lead to serious geopolitical ramifications that could make things even worse than we could have imagined. But hey I should be a "good American" and take everything on faith from this administration. Look at how well everything is working out.

So it seems that we are being graced with the presence of Charles and Camilla. Everyone is worried that Camilla won't be received well. Maybe who knows. Following Diana is a tough act. Yo, Charles it is your life and your poor life choices are your own. I am glad you found someone who reminds you of your mother.

Camilla has some big shoes to fill. Come to think of it probably not, the blacksmith she goes to most likely has to use a big shoe for her. I know I should not be mean, and she is probably very nice person, but she reminds too much of a horse I lost money on at Santa Anita a couple of years back. Camilla you are no Smarty Jones.

Lets get a birdbrain to fight the bird flu.

Hey George are you going to get Brownie to help since he did such a great job in New Orleans.

Well George this may be your great moment to save on Health Care and Social Security. If most of us get it and pass on, you will save billions!

Sorry Mr. President if I do not show a lot of faith in you actions.

Hold on, Mr. President I think Nero is checking in. He is asking if you could be just a little more responsible.

Sad to say I just didn't feel it this year. Being busy with a job that I think that I now offically hate, and the White Sox winning. I just did not really care about Halloween. And it did not help having a hoops draft that took place at 3 on Saturday and ended around 7:30, to take the wind out of any possibilities on Saturday. The closest I got to being in spirit was watching part of Tree House of Terror. The only reason was it came on right after game 3 1/2 of the WS. But since I had to get to sleep when it got to the break, the TV was silenced. One of the few times I will ever do that.

We just did not want to do anything last night. The BH and I were tired and beat down from work, so we slinked home. Snuck into the house turned off the lights and watched TV by candlelight. Finally watched Sideways, enjoyed it.

I just hope I can get revved up for the holidays. If I can not get up for Boxing Day then I might as well check out.

the Thin Man series. I wish you a safe journey back to the East Coast.