Boski's Blogopoluza!

No! Please say it's not so! Some one get that man a bottle of Crown Royal. Hey Pat I am glad that you have decided to clean up, you ol' booze hound. But I am not happy with the apology crap. Okay you may need to apologize for legal reason, but do not be ashamed of some great comedy. Those tapes are gold. (thanks Mr. Thigh Master) But Pat (didn't he suggest doing that to Nancy O'Dell while Billy Bush watched?) has to get back to his important work. He is going to help American learn and understand the important topics. No, not Social Security (maybe we should contact Joe millionaire, he will know what to do), or Iraq (are we still there, I thought that ended with Friends Finale), or even the assault on the constitution (didn't that get voted off Survivor?). It's about our entertainment industry. Oh sure, we may be spending $3.00 a gallon, billions in Iraq, with a a health care system that sucks, but our reality shows and over-exposed stars are safe.

Pat, I salute you for our courage to come back and hop into the frey as we face a possible American Idol Scandal. Something that the American public has more passion voting on then political elections. What could this scandal be? What that it sucks? Paula on drugs? (maybe she heard one of her albums) Is the show rigged? There are 3-masted ships that are less rigged. Damn, you would think this ABC Primetime was the Warren Commission Report.

Thank goodness I do not commit most of my waking hours following something where people are over exposed and paid huge amounts of money to play "games". That would just be foolish. Now where is the sports section?

Alright got that out of the way. Well the weekend has come and gone.

Saturday – went out to the memorial service and spent some quality bonding time with the family and friends. Hung out and remembered the good times we had with Mr.G. When I got home was so drained and tired I could not even watch the draft.

Sunday – Even after braving the early morning showers took the Better Half, her Mom and my nephew to the Festival of Books. We always love going and it fun taking the nephew getting him new books to read, and getting him see characters from the books he reads. We also have a good time running him around and riding the shuttle bus across the UCLA campus. I was able to duck in and catch a panel discussion with my Mother-in-Law, as the Better Half took Tom. It was a great panel Writing Epic History. For me I find these more interesting than fiction. I went to see Adam Hochschild who wrote “King Leopold’s Ghost” a powerful book. He has a new one out on the End of Slavery in the English Empire. The other authors were great and I plan to read their work soon.

Steve Fraser has a fascinating book on Wall Street.
Hector Tobar – an interesting looking book on immigrant lives and their journey to America and through America.
A.J. Langguth – Our Vietnam was his book, which I plan to read along with Mr. Tobar’s book when my Mother-In-Law is done.

So that was the weekend. I am still trying to absorb the NFL draft right now. So far my thoughts are:

I am happy that the Broncos made the trade to get a #1 next year and #4. Thank you Washington. Double thanks in taking Jason Campbell. He could become a great QB in the league, but how could you make that pick with all the money you have tied in the QB position already and with other positions that needed to be filled. Here is hoping for a 4-12 season.

Do not know what to make of the Bronco draft? Maurice Clarrett, seriously? I just waiting for someone to come by and kick me in the nuts. So, is this what it means to be “punk’d”. He could be a good back, I leaning toward no. I think they should have gone WR or DE, but I am not the GM. They took 3 DB’s with hopes of shoring up the secondary and also hopefully looking to get some speed on special teams. We will see.

The Chiefs had the crappiest draft. They took Craphonso Thorpe. Can you say Snoop Minnis? I thought you could. I hate to say they drafted decently and got some DB help with Surtain so they trying to pull out the stops for Vermeil Crying Cavalcade last run.

The Raiders checking in with some questionable characters (Hawthorne in the 6th cough, cough and Routt in the 2nd) and players who can run (Washington 1st and Routt).

The Jets – you first pick was the Motor City Madman, oh sorry Mike Nugent Kicker. But taking a kicker as your first pick is still a head scratcher. This guy is no Morten Anderson, but he should be better than Russell Erxlaben.

The 49ers – Wow you guys picked the wrong year to get a franchise QB. I am not sold on him or Rodgers as the #1. But we will see, if they give him something to work with he could avoid being a bust, but I see Tim Couch, with just a hint of Cade McNown.

Ravens- got the guy they wanted and I hate them for that. Why couldn’t they draft a punter in the first round? But I think they may be the team to beat in the AFC this year.

Colts – Lee Evans. What is with all the short players?

Lions – Mike Williams was worth the pick. He is a guy you don’t pass up on. Even thought he is from SC he is special talent. Also Charles Rogers' porcelain collarbone is still an issue.

Jags – Matt Jones in the 1st. I thought there was a drug policy in the league. Look, you have the makings of the offensive version of Mike Mamula. That pick for a guy who has not played that position. That’s a bold statement.

Well that is what I have on that, more as I digest the info. What do think I did on Monday? I spent all day printing out draft info.

How can I say it is good to be back when no one missed you when you were gone? Well I now finally have time to blog, on company time. Well at least till the end of this week. Yesterday they let me know that my assignment ends this Friday. I should not be surprised this assignment was two weeks longer than expected. The good news is, this due to the department’s budget. They would have liked to have me stay longer, but can’t justify the cost. But then they could be saying that so I do not go all Private Pyle on them, and start shooting. I can understand their fear, if so. I am not as imposing as Vincent D’Onofrio character in the movie, but I am as retarded and slovenly. I will miss working for the district. The people were great and they made me feel welcomed.

So it is back to the temp pool again. I think I may just have to come to the conclusion that I will never be more than a temp. At the most, I will be at a position for a year or two and then I will be laid off, downsized, fired, beaten, scorned, tarred and feathered, and etc. I will be on temp assignments, probably not moving above an administrative assistant level (hey it’s my day today, oh boy!), from now till the end of time. I should have realized that success and I were not going to be on speaking terms. I should have known that when my Guidance counselor advised me that my options after high school were the Carney Sciences, Fast Food Theory or Hobo Studies.

So, I would like to be a cautionary tale for everyone out there that has kids, or will have kids. Make them go to school. Make sure they find a single career path, and make them stick to it. Also try to steer them toward something that has a future. Make them complete said degree, even if they hate it before they are done. That way they can at least have something to fall back on. Also make sure they are obtaining job skills worth a damn. You see knowing the Presidents of the Gilded Age, cracking on Conrad Bain and making esoteric remarks on the Holy Roman Empire will get you nowhere in life. I know I live it everyday. Also make sure they know how to write and understand the English language. That they know all the components like: grammar, spelling and syntax. Next to checking for drugs and if you kid is having sex, you should go all Homeland Security on them and make sure they can write. I was too lazy and dumb to fix my problem. I managed to enough to eek by. I was able to pull the wool over my parents and my teachers. I just wished someone would have come along and said “You’re going to fail miserably in life with your language and comprehension skills. You need remedial help and learn the language from the ground up. Just maybe you might be able to learn enough so you can give yourself a chance in the world”.

Oh Boksi, you’re being too hard on yourself. I say yes and no. Oh sure I am hamming some of this up and I have been very fortunate to be in wonderful family. Have a wonderful wife, who has helped me immensely and has helped me in walking upright. Who if I didn’t have in my life, I would be living under the 57 Freeway overpass at Chapman Ave. But if you ever saw any paper I turned in high school or college (that did not get an extensive review or a couple near rewrite) the returned papers looked at if you had tried to kill a buffalo with a butter knife. Red was everywhere (corrections) and everything was complete mess (my wonderful penmanship). Somehow even when I would type things out, it still looked likes a 6-year old finger-painting project. Thinking about some of the written exams I took, I do not know how anyone was able to read and understand anything I wrote. Even when I knew what the hell I was writing about. So please make you kids read, write and proof their work. Look at it as an investment in your future. I am thankful my Mom has four other kids who are not a mess. It’s good to know that I am in no way responsible for anything important to my Mom’s future care and wellbeing.

So please learn from me. Now I have to go back and edit this and try to make it sound coherent. I feel better now. I just need to get that out. Thank you for your patience, during this public flogging. Tip the wait staff Please try the Shrimp Scampi.

Well tomorrow is the NFL Draft and thousands of freaks like me will be gathering around the tube and watch hours and hours of people talking about: upside, tweener's, Raider fan's, reaches, fluid hips, (wow that almost sounds like the AVN's) Mel Kiper's Hair and the Wonderlick (wait, now it definitely sounds like the AVN's). Well I would love to have sat and watched every single minute of the draft, but I actually have a couple prior commitments. Saturday, sadly is a memorial service for a family friend you heard me talk about a couple of times. So it is off to the High Desert.

Sunday, it will be off to the the L.A. Times Festival of Books. The Better Half and I have been going for about six years. I know you are all surprised, but they have enough coloring books on hand to keep me occupied. It is a great event, with good authors and great forums. This is one of those rare times I try to walk upright and put my opposing thumbs to use.

Well I have to get going and get this weekend started. I will save you from my nonsense, till next week. So please sit back and enjoy the dulcet tones of Rammstein.

Blogger: "Yes, Boski."

Boski: "I want to hurt you."

Blogger: "What was that?"

Boski: "You heard me"

Blogger: "I am sorry, what ever you were trying to say or post has disappeared"

Boski: "Blogger"

Nothing.

Boski: "Hello Blogger!"

Blogger: "Yes Boski"

Boski: "I am going to crack you head open and feast upon the gooey innards"

Silence

Blogger: "Boski were you saying something? Oops, just lost someone's post about coming up with a cure for Cancer. Wait one second someone has something very funny to say. Oh, I just lost it. So Boski, I have been waiting for uncreative rambling hairballs you cough out, as posts"

Boski's profanity laced tirade has been lost by Blogger.

Blogger: "Oh hello Boski, how long have you been sitting here?

Boski: "Why do you hate Blogger?"

Blogger: "How can I hate Mr. Boski, I am Cubs fan."

Boski: "I am so killing you"

Blogger: "What was that?"

Boski: "That's it. I am signing you up for Columbia House. Good luck trying to return that Best of Moby Grape."

Blogger: "Hey, who's hating now. That is just mean Boski."

Boski:"You bastard."

Message lost.


Boski Corp. does enjoy the free use of Blogger. This bad attempt at humor is a Boski Corp. Playhouse Players Productions feeble attempt to blow off steam after having another post lost. It may Blogger is actually doing the world a service.

Thank you for your patronage now enjoy "Match Game P.M. On Ice".

Mr. Gibson, you must be baking on something, because this so absurd. Damn, a Pauley Shore movie has more legitimacy than this.

Thinking about it here are a couple of items more plausible than that story:

Sirhan Sirhan marring a Kennedy.

The White Sox winning the World Series (a recurring theme)

German's scared of the French

Jerry Fallwell opening a casino in Vegas

Paris Hilton Pulitzer Prize Winning Author

The Saints covering when they are the favorite

The next pope: Ian Paisley.

Jar Jar Binks' face on Mount Rushmore.

The NHL returning.

Me rooting for USC.


Congrats Mr. Gibson you are now on the city council of Crazyville.


Oh I almost forgot. Sorry to be all on the political today but also caught a gander of this.

Mr. DeLay you are bucking for Mayor of Crazyville aren't you.


Thanks to Atrios for doing the heavy lifting.

From the Independent Republic of Texas.

After reading, I shouldn't be really surprised by it at all.

I don't know how the penguin driving is going to explain this one to the insurance company.

They are just going to screw it up all over again. Look I love college football, but this BCS sucks ass. Oh sure, I got to see a great Rose Bowl game, but the system is Howard the Duck bad. They will screw this up some how. The BSC has been tampered with more times than the Hilton Sisters. Just play the bowls and have a four team playoff, or something. There is a way that can be done profitably. Wouldn't be great to have more definitive way of determining a national champ. Hey, I am just saying.

No, my name is Clarence.


Just a snippet from Paul's Boutique, a classic. I heard that this morning, I could not resist. That is all now back to Quincy takes Manhattan.

I read this and it got me thinking. I wonder if these elephants are on DeLay's payroll (which is not a bad gig from what I hear) and that there were trying to get after any one in Seoul for leaking any info about his trip in 2001. It would not suprise me one bit if he did.

Well I did not injure, maim, fold, spindle or mutilated myself playing softball last night. A little sore, but not too bad. I am also pround in the fact that I did not doing anything that will permanently scar me.

Dateline Rome - When the Poppa John's delivery guy drove up people realized that the white smoke was not the Conclave making pizza it because the new Pope has been elected. He's German, which means the French are scared. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, is our new Pope. So that's what he been up to since Cheers. Hey it's Pope Cliff. No actually he will be named Livan and he will be a good man. Again just kidding, he will be name Pope Benedict XVI. That just does not roll of the tongue as well. I am surprised that this went so quickly. The Vatican got off cheap, what no haggling over salary or at least an new Papal Escalade. I think this was the third or fourth quickest election of a pope. I wish they would have taken more time. Our new pope is a conservative hardliner. Lets just say he thinks Pope Urban VIII was too leintent on Galileo and that because of it we have been tricked into believing this "revolve around the sun nonsense". I would like to have a Pope that can build a bridge between the conservative and more liberal wings of Catholism. There are issues that need to be addressed and the standard SOP is not going to cut it. Issues like: contraception, AIDS (esp. in Africa), the abuse scandals, apathy in Europe and North American, women in the church, continuing the fight for 3rd World Nations.

Well enough of that back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Coming up next: Judge Joe Brown Sings the Classics.

Well back from a pleasant weekend.

Friday got one last opportunity to watch the Anaheim Storm blow another three goal lead. Good to see they did not disappoint. Had a good time and will miss it until it come back next January. The Better Half and I hung out with my friend Dave and had a good time.

Saturday - got the car's A/C fixed. It sucked not having it, as the weather got warmer. Also it is nice to be able to turn on your A/C and not have it sound like flying the Red Baron. Saturday we helped out at a Habitat project. Well, we sat at the media table waiting for media that did not show up, but got to sit outside on a nice day. After getting the car, went home and watched what the Tivo had collected for us.

Sunday - we left the friendly confines of Fort Boski and wandered around and got some things done. Which culminated in the making of a Carne Asada Pizza, and it kicked ass.

So today as I get back into the swing of work and not writing volumes on athlete's I paid to see. I have to go get cleats. I am being drafted to play softball for the Better Half's company. 99.9% of the times I jump at it but I am not felling it. Oh I will still play, but I am dreading it. Either I screw up my knee or I am getting clocked in dome. Maybe both. Well if things go well I will only hurt what is left of my pride. Wish me luck and if I don't come back, please burn all of grammar and spelling errors and spread them across the parking lot of The Bun Boy Restaurant in Baker CA.

Did I hear this right? Madden on ESPN?(Or will he? I think he may get out of his contract and go back to Fox. Just a thought) Real football on NBC? No Pro Football on ABC? Has the world gone mad. Nope not really, just big bucks talking. I am surprised a little though. I did not think the Monday Night package was going to go to ESPN. But it makes a lot of sense. ESPN does a great job with Monday Night Countdown. So I see this working well for the NFL, ESPN and the viewer. Now there will be no more uncomfortable moments at sports bars and homes at 6:00 PST, when the TV is not turned and Monday Night Hype turns into Triple Lutz's and Ice Skating Challenges. I am also going enjoy no more really bad plugs for ABC shows that I am not going to watch. I just have to suffer one more year, I hope.

Football on NBC, I will like to see that. I did miss not watching games on NBC. Since NBC was the AFC network I was always watching it. It was my portal to the Broncos in the 80's and 90's. I was able to catch a ton of Bronco games during that time, thanks to the Raiders not selling out the L.A. Coliseum. Wow, I can thank the Raiders for something. Who knew? Oh those were the days. A young Bob Costas behind the desk. Ahmad Bobby Moore Rashad actually doing interviews worth watching before he rammed his head so far up Michael Jordan's ass. And finally Pete Axthelm. Oh Pete was gold. Think Jimmy the Greek but funnier, less drunk and not spewing racist comments.

Even as a Catholic there is a question I have never had answered. Is there a Junior College of Cardinals? You know for Bishops and priest who are not ready for a 4 year Cardinal College. It would be great if there was one. I hear it is a pain in the Papal Bull to get some of the required lower division courses you need to get before can graduate. Courses like: Pope History 200 (A & B), Intro to Sainthood 150, Papal Canon 301, and English 100.

Right now I am blogging from the comforts of the Boski compound. My boss let me leave very early today. They had an appointment and was not coming back, so away I go. The downside is missing out on the pay and the unfettered internet access. Arrrrggghhh!

The Better Half and I will be off for the last installment of Lacrosse tonight. So you will not have to hear me yammering about it for another year. So, if I do not blog for the rest of weekend, please enjoy. Also there are some Otter Pops in the fridge help yourself. But please leave me an Alexander the Grape. That is all I am asking people.

This article caught my eye this morning. I had to laugh at the 'I believe in open government...but I don't want you reading my stuff' comment. Oh you are a such a card sir. Part of me thinks the reason he does not use e-mail is because Cheney had to break it to him that his Speak N Spell does not have e-mail capability. The other part of me thinks that he and Jeff Gannon or Gerkin or whatever are the ones behind all the obscene spam e-mails everyone gets.

I was wondering if I had a T-shirt with Cardinal de Richeleau on it. Would I be cool, or would I just be another jackass? Maybe I should just stick with the George Gobel sucker punching a hobo.

I should not be surprised by this. Holy crap, I think Barry Goldwater called Tom and he would like for you to tone it down.

Thanks to Wonkette for the link.

Today, I felt a little like Navin R. Johnson when the NFL released it 2005 schedule.

I looked over the Broncos schedule and I can safely say. We are screwed. I have to stop being such a pessimist, but it is tough. I am a glass is smashed to pieces and the water has tried a long time ago kind of person. I am just going to have to relax, watch the draft, monitor training camp and hope every team loses all their starters to injury and bad clams.

Looking over some of the highlights of the new schedule.

Week #1 - @ Miami - Great, Nic Saban will win one game this year and it will be opening day. We have never win in Miami (Unless it is Super Bowl XXXIII). Broiling Hot, Muggy great way to start the season.

Week #4 @ Jacksonville - Another peach, going on the road after two tough home games S.D. and K.C. (Mon) to play in another hot muggy game. So we could be looking at 1-3 at this point. Maybe we will be still pissed about blowing last years game, that will we come to play.

Weeks 6 thru 8 - Two home games with a road game in the middle. What is the problem here Boski? Well the problem is those home games Philly (Week6) and New England (Week8) with the New York Giants as the road game. The Giants will win one game this year, and it will be Week 7. Screw you Eli and screw you New York. Thanks for giving the Chargers those draft picks. Nice, I can enjoy Martyball blow it in the playoffs again (wait , I kind of enjoy that though).

Week 12 - Thanksgiving - Great my family has to deal with me worrying about this one as we try to enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner. It will go over real well when the yams come back up as the Cowboys get a pick for six late.

Weeks 14 Baltimore - They beat us like Ray beats murder raps.

Weeks 15 thru 17 - All Saturday games. Three Saturday games? Nothing like Buffalo in December. Then it's home to Oakland and then off to S.D. to finish.

So after looking everything over, I say we are looking at 4-12, maybe 5-11. I know I am being too harsh. I do it so I will be surprised when they win 9 to 10 games. Shanahan has only had three non-winning seasons since he took over in '95. So, I should have some faith.

This has been a Martin Quinn Production.

Was trying to do some quick adjustments to the old blog and things got messed up and I can not blame Blogger. This time it was on me. I wish I could say it was due to head injury, or a drug addiction. Saddly it is just my amazing ability to be dumb. So please enjoy the minor tweaking.

This is a question that has plagued me for years and I have finally realized what my answer to it would be.



SURPISE!


I have not busted that one out since my days shooting hippos for Disney. It was either that or Xenon. I have always wanted to be noble (please insert bad laugh track here). Well I have Bohr'd you enough. Thank you folks that is all I have today in Chem Lab of Comedy. Tomorrow, "Mutiny on the Botany".

Blogger, I hate you. Oh sure I will keep using you since you are “free”. But I will secretly loathe you. Actually I will take back that “free” comment. Blogger is not free considering when you take the time to type up something that you put some heart and feeling into and then lose it because Blogger has to shit all over itself.

Well yesterday was that day. I took some time to talk about my weekend and how it fluctuated from great to awful. Talked about the fun time I had with my family, watching my nephew Tom play T-Ball, getting him his first set of baseball cards and then taking him to an Anaheim Storm game. And also finding out a family friend had passed away along with a family pet.

I spent about an hour working on it and to see it just disappear. Arrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg! Well I am not going to try to rescale that mountain today. But I just wanted to get that off my chest and return you to the poorly written, grammatically challenged and boring View Master Slide that is my life.

Thanks.

I would like to correct a mistake from last week. Larry Bowa was fired at the end of last season. How could I forget that. So you can see I just don't have the baseball chops I used to.

Yes more stupid Lacrosse for you. Some how the sub .500 Anaheim Storm still have a shot at the last playoff spot in the West.

The wife and I are going to take our nephew after his little league game and dinner with the family. That will be a lot of fun. My sister told me that he got three hits in a game this week. Already at 6 better than I was. I went seasons with only 3 hits. I loved playing Little league, but I was so awful. I did not play well until the very end. At that point, I was playing against kids younger than me and I did not even reach Senior Majors. Wow, I sucked. Nothing worse than a slow uncoordinated kid trying to run the bases. Never hit a home run in my years of little league, but I did break a car window with a foul ball.

Also this weekend I am going to introduce my nephew to the world of baseball cards. I use to collect them back when it was fun and not an investment. My god, does the world really need that many choices in trading cards. Also 2.99 for 12 cards, WTF? No gum and no Biff Pocaroba's and Enos Cabell's! What is the point. So I got him some Topps cards and grab bag of no-bodies of the 80's & 90's. I hope he enjoys it. I can still remember my first pack of baseball cards. I got them for $0.20 on Catalina Island back in '78. I still can remember two of the cards I got out of that pack. They were Fergie Jenkins and Bill Campbell. What is scarier is one back of those cards they had a game you could play. Each card had a result. Single, Double, Fly Out, Pulled groin, you know the basics. But for Fergie he was Base on Balls and Campbells was Home Run. I can not remember what I filled this morning but I remembered that. I collected cards the old fashion way. Bought them by the pack. None of this get the whole set. So that way every time was like a lottery. But every time I would get a Carlton Fisk, the rest of the pack would be Mike Cubbage and Rafael Landestoy. I stopped in High School, when cards were costing the same as the GNP of most small nations. Since then I grab a pack or two when it hits me. But there was one card I need to get. A friend of mine busted this one out a couple years back and I still laugh about it.

I wanted this 1979 Topps card.

You think the name is good, it gets better.


On back of card:

Mark Lemongello is a cousin to Mike Lemongello, professional bowler, and Peter Lemongello, professional singer.

Oh wait there is more.

How can you top that.

Today went out to lunch with co-workers. It is a glorious day here, and all I could think about was Midnight Oil's Blue Sky Mining. I always drag that out when the weather gets nice. But it made me sad. Sad that I will never see them play live. No, Australia's Favorite Bald-Headed Activist, Singing and Dance Sensation (Please see the "Power and the Passion" video, you will know what I am talking about) had to go on leave. The Oil's (as the cool kids would say. Oh God they will beat me up if they know I am trying to be like them.) peaceably split up and stop making great music while groups like Hoobastunk, Sum 41 and New Found Glory are still allowed to breath? I ask where is the justice? Now Peter has gone. That is just great. While he is trying to help out his native land. What is doing for me?

Damn it guys, will you please get back together and come back one last time. I swear I will show up. I still kick myself for missing you in 90 and 2000 and every other time in between. Arrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh! Look if you playing in a parking lot in Beaumont. I will show up. Hell, I bring the Foster's. Come back please!

Great job guys. I thought he got rid of Billy Koch and his wonderful goatee that magically allowed teams to comeback from 3 runs down. Yesterday they did a stirring tribute to him with this performance fleece effort. Coco Crisp going deep WTF! Speaking of Billy, I wonder what he is up to these days?

Seriously Blogger what is up. Are back to huffing gas? What. I had more poorly spelt, grammar-challenge comedy iron-pyrite on my hands yesterday and only the voices in my head got the pleasure. Wait thinking about it I think Blogger may have spared you.

The White Sox are your AL Central Winner. At 2-0 the projections have been extrapolated and it will be Chicago 162-0 with a + - of 160.

Well today they put on some wonderful theatrics they spotted the Indians 3 runs. Go to the ninth and put up a four spot win. That's what I am talking about. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! I am just so giddy. I will enjoy this for the next couple of hours before reality sets in. Thank you for listening.

So are you ready to head off to Vegas with this gold I am giving you. Probably not, actually you are more likely to get ahead not listening to me anyway.

AL West

The California Angels - Not any of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim bullshit. Hell I just got use to the Anaheim Angels. You take away that crap and it is amazing what has happened with franchise since Disney got serious about selling and putting real baseball people in. Now they have an owner who will grab big name players while they are still able to get around without use of a walker. Even though I am a White Sox fan I grew up within a Bobby Grich home run from the stadium. I grew up in that park. Saw go from open stadium, to closed, back to open. I really enjoyed watching them exercise their demons in 2002, so I do have a soft spot for them. Well except for the team name issue, which again is crap. But they have the horses and will win this division, the post season we will see if not having an ace will bite them in the ass.

A's - Moneyball rides again. They clean house again and will still probably win. Like the Marlins they need a new stadium or be the next contestant on "Whose Moving to Vegas"

Rangers - Can we just have them and the Rockies play each other. It would be they great slow pitch softball game ever! Their pitching will let them down about July when their Middle relievers are getting more innings than the starters.

Mariners - Offense meet the Mariners, Mariners meet offense. Great idea guys, but you should have gotten some sticks when you have the pitching and defense.

AL

Twins - Oh look at us we are the Twins. We get no respect. We have no money. Waaaaaaaahhhhh! I do not care. Yes I am jealous and I do marvel at what they do and glad to see the White Sox trying to win the Twins way. But I am sick of the, "we do not get respect" when everyone does. The Twins do not get the respect because of two things. First is they are a small market team, sorry but true. Secondly, people are still pissed at Minnesota for Soul Asylum, Prince's Under the Cherry Moon and for allowing Husker Dü to break up. I hope Kent Hrbek makes a return to the Dome only to be put down by Animal Control because he has eaten and mauled most of the team.

White Sox - We are not going to be as bad a people say and I think we have a shot at the division. Why? Well the Twins are so due for a letdown (You can hear the begging in my voice can't you). The Sox could not win with the long ball, so why not pitching and defense. What we don't win anyway. Look, I am use to it. But I really want this team to succeed for Ozzie's sake and also they have my hero as the bench coach. They can't let me down, again?

Indians - I still hate these guys. So freaking smug during the 90's Well where did it get you. What's that David Justice's HR is about to land. Wow he hadn't hit anything that hard since his he was married to Halle Berry (I know it is dated and a low blow, but I pay the rent here)

Tigers - This is the hip new team that everyone thinks will hit it big. I think they will be entertaining, but a year away. Also Maggilo's knees. Since he not with the Sox it will mean he will hit 74 HR's and cure cancer.

Royals - Holy Amos Otis, this franchise is horrible. Wow they are making the old Kansas City A's look respectable. Wow it was just 20 years ago the Denkinger blew a call in game 6. It was a bad day for St. Louis and toilets. Mr Andujar, you know what I am sawing.

AL East

Yankees - I hate you pompous jackasses and I want you to fail. This goes double for Yankee fans, except those related to me and Artie Lange. Again this is out of pure jealousy. Lining up to buy another title.

Red Sox - Congrats on winning and breaking the "Curse" , but enough. Can you tone it down just a tad. Fine yell all you want when some one is wearing a Yankee hat near by, but the rest of us do not want to hear it. There are 28 other team other than you and the Yankees. Well maybe 20 if we take out the Royals, Brewers, Devil Rays, White Sox (Hey stop that), etc. First the Pats and now this, look Boston if the Celtics start winning again then I will check out. I am very sorry Chowd's but you people are unbearable when you win. Right now I can only stand a Cousin, Bill Simmons and a couple of Bloggers out there. Okay I feel better I have to get this off my chest.

Blue Jays - Don' t like the lids, but does it matter. Really pissed the Expos left. They have lost, well at least we are not the worst team in Canada. Right now their is a Canadian kid who thinking. Wow when do the Argonauts start training camp.

The O's - Even though this team is a favorite of my good friend Eric. I have only one things to say. The suffering you feeling now is all because of Tito F&^%ing Landrum. I hope that '83 World Series is keeping you warm at nights because you crushed the hopes and dreams of young White Sox fan. I think the curse will end when the homerun ball Eddie Murray hit in game 3 lands, so you have a while. So enjoy Sammy Sosa. What a horses ass. No Sammy you could not produce for us, you leave and get on the Juice and you can drive in runs. May the clams you eat always be bad. You see I have a problem letting things go.

Devil Rays - I think the D'Rays have a chance to get the Wild Card. A couple of breaks and about 1,293 injuries to all the AL teams and they about 8 games back. But if not , Tampa needs to seriously think about one thing. Insurance Fire. Think about it.

So here is what we have for the AL:

East - Yanks - Stupid jerks
Central -Twins - See above
West - Angels
Wild Card - White Sox!!! No they will come up short. I think that it will be close but the A's will weasel their way in. The White Sox will come up short and the Red Sox starting pitching will be a headache.

Your AL Champs - The Kansas City Royals. No I hate to admit but the Yankees will buy their way in after a 7 game series with the Angels.

The World Series - We will have a rematch of one my favorite books "October 64" and the Cards will win again in 7 and the Yankees will be pissed. Hopefully they will fall into dispair as they did the last time the played the Cards in the World Series.

Well that wasn't too bad. Oh wait you are reading it, but my speelling and graammar is not never bad.

Please file all complaints to management and you will get a free 12 piece Jackie Stewart coaster set.

Well, I thought since I am still interested in the season, well at least till the White Sox are eliminated. Hopefully that will be after they roll into town in May. But I thought I would give my amazing predications, dare I say Jane Dixonesque.

The National league

NL West

Giants - I think they will be able to hold the fort till Barry gets back and he will. I use to hate these guys because I have wonderful distaste for Northern California, not the place, just the people. But I somebody I went to school with is playing for them so I root for him more than the Giants. But they have the horse.

Dodgers - I do not know why everyone is down on them. A good part of me thinks they could win this division. The problem I have with Dodgers fans is they want it both ways. I am not the biggest McCort fan but he is getting things in line and DePodesta is trying to get this team out from under the Fox fiasco. I love the Dodgers sense of tradition, but they have to let some things go. Piazza is not coming back, yes it was a bad deal, but it is done.

Padres - You can not help but root for these guys. I have one suggestion. Stop the Camo Uniforms and go back to Old Carl's Jr. Uniforms (This is a long story and I will not bore you with it).

Rockies - Just like me, just waiting for the Broncos to start up.

Diamondbacks - Jerry Calengelo, I hope that World Series title was worth it. Look at what are left with, this, a lot of debt and the Suns, who you sold, are now #1 in the West.

NL Central

The Cards - Few holes and some more pitching, so I think they take home the title.

Astros - I just wish they would go back to the Rainbow Sherbert Uni's. Also is Roger Clemens worth that much? Roger got a great deal from the devil to still be pitching. I think went it is said and done the devil is getting the short end of this deal

Reds - No need for A/C in the Queen City as long as Adam Dunn plays. Plenty of cooling breezes.

Milwaukee - A city named which means the good land has a bad team. This season could be another Ben Ogilive special (ugly).

Pittsburgh - A great park with a bad AAA team. Look Dave Parker and Kent Tekulve are still alive, go out and get the cake hats and bumble bee uni's stat!

The Cubs - I hate this jackasses. As any self respecting White Sox fan should. I hate all of bastards and I hope all choke on your vomit. In fact, I may head to Rome and try to rekindle my attempt to make Steve Bartman a saint. More Cubs hate later.

NL East

Braves - All they do is win Division titles and then soil themselves in the post season. It's kind of a rite of Autum

Marlins- The New Expos, but with talent and two titles. I think it is time to either get them a stadium in Miami or move them to Vegas.

The Mets - Speaking of spring and another rite is about to begin. The Mets spend a ton in the off-season and come up short. Yes I do remember the 2000 World Series but they have spent a ton of money since and get little back. Come on people, Tom Glavine has not been the same and how can we forget the Mo Vaughn experience. The man pulled a groin trying to run out a ham sandwich. Again I could be wrong. I like Beltran, but Pedro is done and all he will be doing is cashing checks.

Philles - Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Just wanted to make them feel welcomed here. Thank god you are out that stadium and the Eagles are playing so well our you guys would be screwed. How does Larry Bowa have a job. They will hit a lot of HR's but come up short.

Nationals - Welcome back to DC it will be like you never left, you will still be losing.


So I am going with

Giants
Cards
Braves
Dodger - Wild Card

Cards NL champs again.

Hey the White Sox won 1-0 today. Sweet have we wrapped up the division yet? I know it is wishful thinking, but I can dream.

Yes.

Something has happened that I can not even believe myself. I got into an office pool where I found people who were worse than me. Some how I have staggered out of the wreckage of flaming brackets (I think they are playing at the Whiskey in May), a champion. Even before tip off tonight I have won an office pool. Even though I do not work at that office, I won none the less. Well the wife was the financial backer I just supplied the dumb luck. So hello new tax bracket because here comes Boski and his $30. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their weekends. I can honsetly say I came very close to accomplishing absolutlty nothing this week. Watched my NFL Eurpoe, watch some college hoops and enjoyed a lovely meal with the wife on Saturday. Other than that, not a damn thing. I think I was out of my house for about 2 hours Saturday and on Sunday I took 4 steps outside my home.

I hope that this is some kind of bad April Fool's gag. Seriously Ron Dayne. Isn't he wanted in the Tri-State area for grand theft and impersonation of an Pro Football Player. I do now officially have a really bad feeling for the upcoming season. WTF! Well I am calling it a weekend. Ron Dayne, Ron Flippin Dayne!

It is that time folks. Can you feel the excitement? No, I thought so. Well tomorrow I can wake up tomorrow and watch this. I should be ashamed, but I not. I do enjoy watching it, not because I have a great desire to root on the Frankfurt Galaxy, even though they have appeared in 6 of the 12 World Bowls. I watch because I love seeing the technical side of football and trying to get a better understanding of playing calling and strategy. The play-by-play does a good job going into it. It is needed, since there are times the action may not be the most scintillating (surprise, surprise). So for the next couple of months I will be enjoying this sports equivalent of a trashy romance novel. Another example of why my wife is wrapping up sainthood.

It worked never mind, please go back to your business.

I going to kill Blogger and just like there service, I will do it for free. I just had some comedy gold be destoryed. Arrrrrggggggghhhhhhh.

Could not help but get a chuckle out of this. I need to ask if this was hit ordered by John McLaughlin. The notorious head of the McLaughlin Group.

We do live in scary times when Pat Buchanan seems moderate.

I do miss watching the Mc Laughling group from time to time. Well I liked the SNL version, but I did watching it with my dad back in my youth. I can hear it like it was just yesterday.

Mc Laughlin: Next question. What did I have for lunch, Jimmy Jimmy Jack Germond?

Germond: "I don't know how that fits in with this debate on Social Sec."

Mc Laughlin: "Wrong. Morton Kondracke, Kondracky, Jack Kerouac"

Kondracke: "Veal"

McLaughlin: "Wrong. The answer is 12 lbs of cocktail franks. Next question. On a scale from 2 to 34.872, with the letter Q being in just right of center-left. How will the Senate react to the season finale of Yes Dear? Lets start with Eleanor Clift, Clift, Montgomery Clift."

Clift: "I have never"

McLaughlin: "Wrong, Fred, Fred Right Said Fred Barnes what say you?"

Barnes: "4.89"

McLaughlin: "Wrong! Kondracke, Kondracke Smoke some Crack!

Konderacke: "I.."

Mc Laughlin: "Wrong! Patahtola Patterson.

Buchanan:"John"

McLaughlin:"Wrong! The answer is Lawrence Welk. Next issue, how pretty am I feeling?"

Back from lunch and I was able to hold sloth at bay for an hour. Got two things accomplished. One, went to Costco and picking up a few things. Two, getting outside in this beautiful 80 degree weather(It is about freaking time). So I can now say today was not a complete waste.

To top it all, listening to NWA's "Straight Out of Compton". Nothing like seeing MC Wonderbread here listening to Old School Gangsta rap.

Sweet.

I can say I have achieved very little today. Other than my doctoral paper on the Broncos off-season, I can safely say that today is a waste. No ones hassling me. So I am just chilling, reading blogs, posting on this sorry, blog, writing scary letters to Ruth Buzzi and planning to get Illka Sinisalo, Teemu Selanne, and Saku Koivu together and form either an Asia tribute band or jug band, not sure yet. Off to lunch.

As baseball approaches my minds wanders to. Drum roll please......the NFL. I am kind of curious about what is going on with the Broncos. I not so sure about this whole lets get the entire Cleveland Brown Defensive Front plan. I hope this is not Cleveland revenge for punking them in three AFC Championship Games. But hey we need DT and DE's. Our pass rush was craptastic. We need bigger and more talented bodies to free up the LB's. Right now the thought is they are going to try the Patriot hybrid and mix in 3-4 and 4-3 fronts. Which is great, if it works. But maybe we will see that (please excuse me for saying this) Butch Davis was right that these are good players, but he could not coach for shit at the pro level.

Quick thoughts on transactions this off season:

Hamilton (Resigned) - They needed to keep him, heir to play Center when Nalen hangs it up.

Neil (FA)- I think he will be back at a lower cost, no one has picked him up, yet.

Hayward (Lost FA Jacksonville)- He was alright, but not at the price Jacksonville paid. He may be worth it with Henderson and Stroud, but they said the same thing with Hugh Douglas.

Warren (Trade) - I think he will be worth a 4th round pick. He better be, since we will not have a 4th and 5th this year. Thank god we got the two 3rd round free-agent compensation picks, or the draft would really suck this year.

Herndon (Restricted FA Lost SEA)- He played very well, at least until the Indy beat down. But they could not afford him and they were not going to get any compensation for him. This means that Walls has to stay health. We need him to match up against Moss in the Red Zone. We also need Middlebrooks to prove he is not a bust, and someone else needs to step up.

Putizer (Restricted FA Resigned)- Listen Jeb, catch the ball in the Red Zone and you will keep your family feed.

Alexander (FA) - I am not sold on him, but they need more options in the passing game especially near the goal line.

Gold (FA) - Great to have him back. Thanks you Jon Gruden for renting him for a year. That rental got us a 3rd round draft pick as compensation, this year. I love having him back as a weapon to rush the QB and run with RB and TE's in space. If they can stay healthy this is a great LB group on paper. Now they just have to play up to their potential.

Burns, Leach and Baker (FA and resigns) - Please do not suck, our special teams suck enough. Hopefully Burns will provide leadership. Leach - long snapping is the NFL version of crafty left hander. These guys stay in forever. All I ask is do not go Trey Junkin on us. Baker, the first kickoff you knock out of bounds, you are getting a 5-iron beat down.

Carsile (Re-signed) - The team is high on him and enough so that they did not have Neil come back, so hopefully their faith will be rewarded.

Droughns (Traded to Cleveland) - I am sorry to see him go, but with Griffin, Bell and Anderson it would not be fair to him. Also the team like Johnson in the FB slot. The team really needs a hammerhead with some hands in the FB spot. They need to find the heir to Howard Griffith. The unsung hero of the Super Bowl years.

Brown - (FA) Please, please try to stay healthy and make some kind of impact. You do not have to go to the Pro Bowl, but make some plays.

Ekuban (Trade from Cleveland) Great name, please go Alfred Williams on us and surprise up with you ability. Give us a consistent presence off the edge and don't be a liability against the run.

Myers (Trade from Cleveland) I will buy the hockey mask, just as long as you go all Crystal Lake over the opponents. He will fill the need for a big ugly in the middle along with Warren.

Pryce (????) I do not know where I stand on this. DL who can rush the passer and post against the run are rare these days. Anyone who can play every down is vital, but what do you do? He has a huge cap number, which he has earned. But he sat out almost all of last season because of a back injury. So he might be damaged goods. Right now, I still leaning toward keeping him and try to rework his contract, because now they DL that is a good deal better than last year's. But if they can swing something to move up in the first to get a play maker WR or DB then do it, or get picks for next year. I will miss him if he goes. The man wore 93 and did not look like a fool doing it.

Well Mike, the ball is your court. You have the final say in the personnel moves and you have kept this team winning since Elway, but we have not won when it counts. Look like I have drunk the Kool-Aid don't make me regret it.

Well it looks like my quick observation has turned in a Proust-fest. Don't worry it is not as bad as the Creative Writing project I did in college on the Broncos which ended up be hand written 12 pages, front and back. And that was just my memories from '77 till '92. I am a sad little man.

Sadly this has become a lost art. I can not stay a sleep, at nights. I sleep in 2 hours shifts, then I am up, but usually I get back to some kind of sleep. Well except last night. I just could not get to sleep. When the alarm went off me to go to the gym, I was fried. I just could not get up and get going. To make things worse, I still could not get any real rest after that. I laid there tired, but I could not even get a hour worth of sleep. So I am trashed for today. This is starting to piss the hell out of me. I do not remember the last time I slept uninterrupted through the night. Arrrrgggghhhhh.

Hello kids, I back. I had to go take care of very personal business yesterday. My brother and I went out to Apple Valley to see a family friend who is very ill.

When did Rancho Cucamonga go from being a punch line to a major suburb? Well it is still a punchline. It is not worth it people. I know housing prices suck and it is a crime that people can not find affordable housing in the areas they would like, but come on. Oh sure, you have a lovely home, but all the money you saved will go to gas and A/C. So you live in Hisperia, but you work in LA. Is four hours in you car worth it? That's right I didn't think so. I have no problem with people living there, but have a plan and develop a proper infrastructure. The High Desert is such a beautiful place, if you remove the Meth'd out Mullet's of the 909 and the land developers who are running amok. I like being out there, and would love to spend time in it, away from the all the crap. Yesterday was spectacular seeing the snow on the mountains from the other side, without the smog. That is what I love not seeing rows and rows of cookie cutter homes.

The Joshua Tree, not only a great album, but a wonderful place it see. A place I will go and see one day.

Coming back was tough, if we did not have to be anywhere my brother and I thought "we can get to State Line in two hours." Just two hours away from the Bonnie and Clyde Death car. I so badly need to get to Las Vegas.

More on that later.

Well had a decent weekend. The wife and I got out Saturday and took in the Irvine Farmers Market and plundered what we needed. Then went to my friend The King of the Desert Hooligans and his wife's home for their daughters second birthday. They thanked us for bring a gift that did not make noise. I had a good time even though most of the kids their were more mature than me and probably better behaved. My wife had too worry about her 33 year old "child" running around the yard like a crazy person with the kids. I think a six year old asked me to "grow up".

After hanging out there, we had to shuffle off to wife's alumni even for her university. It was a small group this time, but we had fun. My wife organized a night of dinner and some lacrossey goodness. Which was a great game. I was glad the Anaheim decided pull their heads out and not blow another 3 goal lead late in the game. Oh they tried and allowed San Jose to score with under a minute of regulation. But that just meant we were going to be treated to "Free Lacrosse".

Sunday got up and went to Mass at 11, which was not too bad. I did not have someone ramming their elbow into my ribs for an hour. But after that finally got back to playing my PS2. It was so good to play Madden again. But I forgot that I need to readjust the setting. It was on a lower skill level. I knew something was not right when I was taking Frankfurt and putting up 56 points on Colonge with J.T. O'Sullivan. Yeah, I know I was using two NFLE teams but still I am not that good to be putting up a 56 spot on someone in the first half. Speaking of not right, I am going to do the following.

Sunday afternoon watched clips of the Easter Egg Hunt and Egg Roll on the White House lawn. I will say that Congress needs to look at testing these kids. There were quite a few of these kids that just did not seem right.

Quite a few kids with serious back acne.

One kid had a horn growing out of there head.

Nothing like seeing 6 year olds with 11 inch arms.

One seven-year old knocked over Marine One.

BALCO President and Tower Power Bass Player - Victor Conte was the MC.

There was also an adorable set of twin girls who did every well in the competition. They were so cute with their pig tails, their Easter bonnets and their matching Mark McGwire goatees.

Finally, the kid who really impressed me was this 4 year old who did had 4.45 40 time. The kids has a future in the NFL, along with egg hunts, but the kid is only 33 inches tall, so he would not match up well against the bigger wide receivers. Also the kid only did 9 reps of 225 and he colored all over the Wonderlick. I think this kid should not come out for the draft yet. It would be best if they could get another year of Kindercare, but the NFL needs DB's. We will just have to wait and see.

Sunday night had a lovely Easter dinner with my family, except for one who out of town on business and could not get back. We went to my oldest brother's mother-in-law's home. Everyone had a good time, even me until midway through dinner when I decided to wallow in my own self-hate, which was brought on by my nemesis, myself. I had one of those, "what they hell are you doing with you life?" And "why are you still underachieveing at this point in your life"? So I moped the rest of the night. I tried to play it off as being tired and having a lot on my mind. Sadly, I do this time to time. I just wish I wouldn't have done it, so I could have enjoyed being with the people I love.

Just when you thinks things can't get any stranger.

For what its worth, I still think the Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall is better.

Oh wait, I just remembered, I do have something that will top that. Listen yo, 911 is a joke. Especially, if you can't get your burger, your way.

I both laughed and cried over this one. Laughed because this woman took the time to call 911, about her burger. Then cried because that woman lives in Orange County. Someone needs to take the kids away from her.

Thanks ATC for the link.

Last night, my 80's tie chances of being in the hunt for one of my pools was saved thanks to the Illini, Louisville and Arizona. But I am pretty sure that UNC right now is enjoy a pre-game meal of bad clams and poorly prepard pork. I look for them to foul things up tonight. But there was some good hoops at least. Hey any time Bobby Knight loses, its a good thing.

As I prepare to head home, I see that the Illini are only up 4 to UWM. If the UWM wins, I am so going Frank DeFazio on their asses, until they are just a pile of Carmine "The Big Ragoo" Ragusa.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The player I most want to see come out of the NFL draft and be a star is Craphonso Thorpe. I can already see Mel Kiper piping in, "Well the Saints really stepped into it, with that pick." Oh the scatological humor to be had.

Here's to you Mr. Thorpe may you be the crappiest draft selection, since Ryan Leaf.

Oh Pat O'Brien, what hilarity are you up to next. I hope everyone takes the time to listen to Pat dialing while drunk. It makes me ponder a hypothetical (Which should be a band name). Do you think these kind of phone calls were made back in the 70's and 80's? Do you think a person like Foster Brooks would get on the phone and make obscene calls to Angie Dickinson, Betty White and Charles Nelson Reilly, while liquored up? For all of those concerned and want to keep up on Pat. I recommend that you go here to get a "first hand" account on how Pat is doing. Remember Pat, courage.

Must give credit to TWS site for the "Insider" dirt on Pat and his addiction to Vodka and schlocky self-promotion. I know, I know I should not kick the guy when he is down, but it is the only chance I can kick and then run away unharmed.

A couple of days ago a ran across an SNL sketch I had forgotten about.

Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch! Do you fellas know Bill Brasky?

Best dam salesman in the office!

Some of my favorites:

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp scampi."

"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong."

"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

And just like the Death Star it will probably get blown apart, but I have tried to make this look like a grown up blog, not one a parent puts on the fridge. Well it is a start. I am almost proud of myself, until I realize a chimp could have done this...weeks ago.

I have always wondered about if there was a hierarchy for the following groups:

Hobos
Bums
Vagabond's
Tramps
Gypsy's
Carneys
etc.

It is a question that has always vexed me. I need to know! I must know the correct etiquette when I am amongst them. For example, would it be offensive if I showed up to Hobo hootenanay, with a couple of Bums? Would I be insulting their Hobo King, or duly elected Hobo Representative? If so then what? Should I expect to be cut by a band of blood-thirsty hobos? Could I bargain my way out with beef jerky? So as you can see I am in dire need of knowledge on this subject. So please if you have a heart you will help.

Thank you, now please enjoy Ultimate Fighting Championship featuring Glass Tiger.

ARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH. I hate that we are still having real weather. This is Southern California, it only rains for about 7 to 10 days and that is it. The rest of the time it's 70's and 80's.
Even our local news is getting board with the rain. They have called off Storm Watch 2005 due to indifference.

In my opinion, this current storm is just Jesus crying that Pat O'Brien is in rehab. NOOOOOOO! What about the Insider? Who is going to shamelessly drop names and be a whore for celebrates. Why did they have get Pat, he was so young!

My god, if we lose the 'The Insider' then the Terrorists have won. We will have only 20 hours of daily programming dedicated to entertainment news. We can not let the American people be forced to watch the "real" news. Some of them may accidentally go to news outlets that actually talk about the news. News outlets that are not "fair & balanced"/prepackaged/fake.

I think this country can come together and rally behind it beloved entertainment news. Right now they need us more than ever. Pat O'Brien would want us to.

Courage.

The 'Back to Future Franchise' would have sucked major ass, it if wasn't for this guy. Let' see if Bob Zemeckis gets a sequel, if tried using a Reliant K Car.

John DeLorean has left us for that big auto manufacturer in the sky. Either that, or he is really sleepy. I would like to thank him for creating the greatest stainless steel, cocaine induced auto ever to be manufacturer in Northern Ireland. Thanks for helping trying to give so folks jobs. But you will be missed you Coke selling, wacky gull-winged auto designing, Day-Time TV Hostess marring, crazy S.O.B.

But on a darker note, I am shocked and saddened beyond all reasonable thought. I have not been this sad since, the Chief died on 'Gimme a Break' . What is America doing to protect it's 80's icons. We have already lost Falco. And who did not cry when science proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that Pia Zdroa had no talent. Right now many of this national treasures are at risk. Has any one heard from Skippy from 'Family Ties' or Boner from 'Growing Pains'? Are Men Without Hats, still hatless? Where are all the Atari 2600's? Look people we have to get on this, or one day we will wake up in a world without Taco. How can we face future generations and tell them that we let this one man Dutch supergroup just fade away. I shutter at that thought.

Well as Monday dawns, I have climbed out of the wreckage that was my brackets. All I can say is I am a total failure when it comes to these things. I think in one pool I have achieved a negative score.

Well an end of another uneventful week in which I have reconfirmmed that when it comes to picking the NCAA tourney. I suck and maybe developmentally challenged. Let's say that the difference between me and Corky from 'Life Goes On'. He has an agent.

So far today I am doing alright other than the Lobos. Hey great job New Mexico, 11 points in the first-half. Way to get it done.

Last night was a wonderful display of suckatude. How about that wonderful performance from LSU last night? Look gentlemen, it is not advised to be huffing gas before a big game. You could have waited till Saturday. Let stay in the S.E.C sucks as department. Alabama thanks for soiling yourselves in front of a national audience. Florida nearly got mauled by those pesky Bobcats of Ohio. UCLA, it wouldn't have killed you to take a jumper inside of 27 Feet. Something to think about. But I do have confidence that by the end of this evening I will be in no danger of success, and I can enjoy the well earned ridicule from friends, family and myself.

Greetings everyone, I want to wish a Happy St. Patrick's day to all of you who are either sober, or in various stages of puking up a hubcap for a 74 Firebird.

I love St. Patrick's Day, and not for the drinking. It has always been a holiday in the Boski home. Nothing elaborate, but we would have corn beef, play the Clancy Brother tunes and watch the Quiet Man. Since it was the only Irish movie they would show on TV.

Boski Film suggestions for St. Patrick's Day - Well I am not going to give you anything heavy, like the Bloody Sunday or The Magdalene Sisters. I suggest the these:

Waking Ned Devine

The Snapper

The Van

and one of my personal favs An Everlasting Piece


It is also a holiday I really miss my father. I would have loved to been able to send a couple St. Patrick's Days with him after college. I think it would have been fun. Well I have rambled enough about this subject.

Speaking of green. Last night I witnessed something that I did not believed to be true. Oh, I heard stories about it, but I thought it only existed in the minds of a sick individual. I would thought I would have seen the following before I saw this:

a unicorn

the Loch Ness Monster

Atlantas

A German stand up comic

A White Sox World Series

and a Fox reality show that has dignity.

Yes, Fear Factor for Green Cards. I think this fall I will be watching a Unicorn from Atlantis lead the White Sox to a World Series title. During that World Series, I will be seeing promos for a new reality show about a German stand up and the Loch Ness Monster helping blind kids on Fox.

After watching this show the Frito Bandito and Speedy Gonzalez called and asked if they could tone it down.

After that, my wives addiction to Road Rules/Real World returned. It is fun watching. It is very life affirming, like Springer. You can not feel that you are a better person because you are not one of these knobs, even though they are getting nice swag and money for being complete a-holes. After an hour of the Miz, we could not help but watch Newlyweds. I know I rant about reality TV. But this is not reality this is bizzaro world. How is she even able breath being that dumb. Nick, thanks asshole, because of you I picked Iowa in the tourney. He used to have some redeeming qualities, even though he was in a boy band. But he did a lot of it on his own and he busted is ass to get to where he was. But now he is as much of a jackass as she is dumb. He could have toned down the jackass he would be set when after he kills Jessica. Because we all seeing it coming. He could of pull out the tapes and said "Judge, did you see what I have to deal with". (Boski Corp. does not condone killing and only uses the remake for comic purposes. If you are offended and live to complain, please send all complaints to Food and Drug Administration) But now it is nice to see him rotting in his own little hell. So Nick, Jessica and all the Simpson, that includes you cousin O.J. go make sweet, sweet love to a meat grinder.

I have to get back to watching the rest of my brackets fall to pieces. Already lost three games so far. Sweet.

I think I may be in trouble already with my picks. I think just before tip-off of the Play-In game I was mathimatically eliminated in my pool.

But there are a couple of things I do know:

Never pick a team that sounds like a person's first or last name, unless that name is Duke or Stanford, maybe Butler.

More directions and add-on's a school name has means a far greater chance of not advancing. Example North Carolina good - East Northwestern Missori Southern State A & M will not advance or collect $200 if it ever got to the toruney.

Please sit back and enjoy Moby Grape.

Today we celebrate the birth of the first player selected in the 1977 amateur draft and the one of the greatest White Sox of all time. Harold Douglas Baines.

Career Ave .289
6 Time All Star
2866 Career Hits
384 Career HR's
1,628 Career RBI's

One of the greatest thrills was being able to see him play in Chicago back in '96.

War Harold Baines!

Well your intrepid mongoloid has made it back from his week end adventures.

Friday night - the wife and I had a lovely home made meal at her mom's house. We had tacos, the first time I have had meat on a Friday since I was 8. No I am not giving up being a catholic, even though the Buddhist do have a better softball team. It was the only night we were going to be able to see her Mom, so it was meatless Thursday and Friday until the tacos.

Saturday - After a couple of errands and some craptastic traffic we made to San Diego. We had a great day wandering through Balboa Park. The went to Old Towne to wander around the shops and grab some Mexican food at Casa de Pico. Which was awesome. Had a big ass margarita that when I was finished made me feel pretty and that walking and standing was way over-rated. Speaking of over rated. The La Quinta Inn Old Towne. You suck and you know it. I was so disappointed at our stay there. Look I was not expecting the Taj Mahal, but please a little effort. Look this not even fit to kill a hooker in. Oh did I say that. (No hookers were harmed in the making of this blog).

Sunday started early about 1:30 AM when someone thought it was a great idea to drop something very heavy and large in the hallway above us so that the whole 2nd floor shook like they had drop the bomb. But after a couple of hours of fruitless attempts at sleep we checked out of the squalor and headed home. We got home and made our way to catch some lacrosse at the Pond and instead of a game we got a great display of the home team soiling itself. It was 8-0 at the half. But we had a good time. We took our nephew and he had a good time. Then it was home to unwind. My wife had a good time this weekend so my mission was accomplished.

Here is my first installment of band names I thought of in hopes that someone will pay me money for them, so I can buy every Quincy episode and stay home in a bathrobe and wooden shoes.

Midgets with Toffee Hammers - I am thinking industrial meets the Crystal Gayle.

Gravy U-Boat's - I see the Aqua Bats meet Merle Haggard with a twist of E.M.F.

Danish Facisist Movement - Speed metal with a touch of cinnamon.

Pork Disco - I see the Scissor Sisters deep fried then mashed with Jan Hammer. The first album would have to named "This S*&% ain't Kosher"

Smurf Suicide Pact - Christian Rock all the way on this one.

Lance D. Carbuncle - Just imagine Harry Connick Jr. having a civil lunch with Cannibal Corpse.

The Norman Fell Youth - Clean cut looking punkers from the burbs, with a heavy dose of Crystal Meth, and an undying love for Susanne Vega.

The Louis Rukeyser Blues Explosion - What happens when you take 5 Heavy Metal loving lads from Finland, who barely speak English and dress then up as the former host of Wall Street Week in Review. The whole time they are singing Whitney Houston tunes. Gold, pure Gold.

Well that is all I have for now. Please stay tuned for the Nitzer Ebb Discuss Classic Literature.

The week is crawling to a close. I have been tooling around on the internet for about the last 6 hours. While still looking busy. It has been slow, too slow. I tell them that I have work to do. But I am dragging my feet. I am worried they may pull the plug since they are not working on the project that was the reason for hiring a temp. Or it might mean a longer stay. I do not know. I was not happy to see another Temp agency sending a fax about an HR assistant. Well my boss has gone home, so I should be safe for at least another week.

When I blow this fire trap, it is off to my wife's mom's for dinner. She having us over for my wife's birthday. Since tomorrow we are off to San Diego. Along with Old Town, we may head by Balboa Park, maybe swing by my former employers San Diego office and raze it. The salt the earth it stood so nothing will ever grow. Wait, did I let that slip.

Sunday it time for some lacrossey goodness we will probably get drilled but it will be a pleasant afternoon in Orange County.

In basketball news, I have not had any early symptoms of March madness. I am worried. I used to love the tourney. I still do, but I use to have a better sense of college hoops come March. But like my football picks it never equated to success. I still love being in the pools though even though I have never come close to money. But then there is something comforting watching a whole bracket melt down on Day 2 after an amazing round one where you missed 16 for 16 by 8 points. Come next week I will arm myself with the LA Time Sports section and try to formulate a bracket so brilliant you could see it from space. So that way everyone will see my shame.

It used to be a dream that come tourney time when I was of legal age I would go to Vegas and just soak in the hoops. But now I do not think I would go during the first round. Too crowded and Vegas aint cheap anymore. White Tigers cost money. And protecting Austrian Magician from those tigers is even costlier!

On other Basketball News. The last-place Old Dirty Bastards of the Brookhaven Basketball league are in the process of wheeling and dealing. I have shipped out Jason Kidd and Shaq. With more trades looming. I know how can you trade Kidd or Shaq. Easily, I am in last and I need cheap young talent. I have three other trades pending and maybe one more. So what does this all mean. It means I have a lot of time on my hands at work. But the O.D.B's will be back next year with a core Jermaine O'Neal, Bobby Simmons and Dwayne Wade. O.D.B. is for the children!

I was just thinking about Canseco. He admits to juicing, but others had to be involved. The Logic behind it. Did anyone watch Canseco play defense. Even things hit to him were an adventure. Oh sure Mongo hit ball, hit ball far, but you have to have some skill to operate a glove. Jose had none, what make anyone think he could use a needle. I am just saying.

Hey speaking of over-hyped, limited hitters with holes in their swings that you could drive a truck through. Here are some of my favorites.

Rob Deer
Gorman Thomas
Cory Snyder
Tony Armas Sr.
Juan Samuel
Pete Incaviglia
Cecil Fielder
Ron Kittle
Steve Balboni
and
Dave "King Kong" Kingman

That has the making of the greatest slow pitch softball team ever.

Well I must shuffle off, it is time for VH1 Behind the Spin-Off - The Roper's.

Thank you and good night.

If you had to create a baseball team that had to be the ugly, who do you pick first? Now I am not talking run of the mil ugly. I am talking clock-stoppingly ugly. So many choices: George Foster, Otis Nixon, Ben Ogilve, and Gorman Thomas. It is like picking your favorite child.

7 TV Habits of Successful People – The Spring '05 edition

Shows you should be watching. It might just save your life!

Cheap Seats – Watched the season premier and was rolling. Nothing like an ESPN SportsCentury: Cheap Seats. It was nice to stroll down memory lane and see how the world has changed since March 2004.

Robot Chicken – If you have ADD and you want to see Voltron Break-dance then this is the show for you. You may love it so much you will want to break the laws of man and nature to marry it.

Any BBC mystery/Cop Drama – well except for that Jonathan Creek bullshit. I swear the United Kingdom does a great job with mystery’s and cop dramas. You can have entertaining Murder in Suburbia or Murphy’s Law (You can not hold the Northern Irishman down!) to your hardcore, oh no they did not do that shit like Wire In the Blood and Waking the Dead.

Jimmy Kimmel – Yes I know a lot of people did not know he had a late night show and his rating reflect that, but damn I love this show.

English Premier League Fan Zone – I know, I know it is soccer. But as I have said before, if there is a score involved I will watch it. Over the years I have actually taken a small liking to the EPL because the people there are crazy about it. So before the NFL starts, and after the Super Bowl ends I just need something to amuse me in between all the other sports I watch. I love it because is play by play by fans, who sometime are not using their inside voices, provide colorful commentary and appropriate bashing of the other EPL clubs. If you do watch the EPL and understand what goes on then you will love the text messages that they fan send in. But if you have Fox Sports World (now the Fox Soccer Channel) then watch it! Look if you do not enjoy it then the Government of Norway will refund you the money. What a deal.

The NFL Network – If you did not see this coming. Yes, I am one of those sick bastards that will watch this network, even after the season is over. If my wife and I did not have commitment last Saturday then I would have watched more then the 45 minutes of the Workout from the NFL Combine. I was watch Offensive Linemen run the 40. I have no shame.

Deadwood – Do I need to say anymore? If you do not like this show then I will feed you to Woo’s pigs.

Again in my rush to publish, grammar, tact and a point were all harmed in the making of this entry.

Well it is Tuesday afternoon and winding down another exciting day. I have worked on scheduling interviews for the Finance Department, review incoming resumes, update the chemical inventory, split the atom and traded Shaquille O'Neal for three players. Look, I am in last I need players for next year. It is apart of my 72 year rebuilding project.

I concerned about the Broncos off-season moves. I just do not have a good feeling about the draft. So many holes and so few draft picks. I am not liking free-agency so far. We need someone to take Pryce for a 1 in '06. We need to get more from the Jets on Putzier. Gerald Warren, I hope you are not a younger version of Darryl Gardner. We got Ian Gold back, which is nice, if we go to a 3-4. I wish we had some cap room I would like to have Smoot, but that is wishful thinking. But that is the great thing about the NFL. Because of parity I can make myself believe that they have a shot until about week 6 or 7. I hope I am wrong, like most things I pontificate on.

Baseball is almost here, but I am not excited. I think after the NCAA tourney is over I can get motivated, but wait NFL Europe will be starting and then their the NFL draft... No I still do love baseball, but I have not had they love I had for it since the early 90's.

Things I would love to say in a meeting or a professional setting:

1. "Yes El Guapo"
2. "I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler"
3. "I am Michael Eisner and I am not wearing any pants" (Long story)
4. "San Dimas Football Rules!"
5. "Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor"
6. "Ham, it's the Cadillac of deli meats"
7. "These are not the droids you are looking for"
8. "Hey they bought their tickets I say let them crash"
9. "Wow, I shouldn't have drunk all that cough syrup this morning"
10. "Ask me about Amway"

I have only been able to successfully use #8 in an HR meeting.

Hey a special shout out to America's Beloved Jay Leno. Jay, go make sweet, sweet love to a light socket. Yes, I am talking to you, Mr. "Oh I don't want a gag order on me telling god-awful Michael Jackson jokes". I say this not because I am defending the Goofy Gloved one, it that I hate you Jay. God, what a tool. You are a soul-less, humorless jackass. There is not a colostomy bag big enough for you and the waste products you spew out of pie hole. But I do have to thank you so stealing errr hiring Stutter John. It has made listening to Howard a great deal more enjoyable. By the way, that was a loving tribute to Johnny Carson. Especially from the man who forced him out, made Letterman move (to a network I did not start watching again until it had football and CSI), and is a complete and total bastard. I just wish that the day comes that Jimmy Kimmel can beat you with a shovel, till you are red pasty mess.

Viva Jimmy Kimmel.

Good night Moline.

Well after a hard week of defending democracy for the county from the Huns, the
Goths, the vandals and Moonies. I was off for a couple days of rest bit.

Friday night – got home from work and the Better Half and I went to dinner with a friend of mine from my day working for the Mouse. We enjoyed a nice meal and then went over to my newest shame. Indoor Lacrosse. Yes I stand before everyone bearing this new shame. I am an Indoor Lacrosse fan and I am a fan of probably the worst team in the lot. And you know what, I like it. I have never played the game but I am so enthralled by it. We may need to get a restraining order. But I watched our beloved Anaheim Storm play well, but not well enough. Everything was going great until the last three minutes where a two-goal lead disappeared and at 48 seconds any chance of overtime was stomped out. I was actually frustrated by the outcome. I feel for these guys. They do so much to keep at their dream. These players maybe be playing pro, but they are not getting rich at it. Only a couple of them are making decent money. I will say the majority of the players in the league have work during the week at real jobs. So it is fun watching them lay it all out because they love playing. I know that sounds like a cliché, but I feeling clicheish right now. So go out and support your local lacrosse team. Hell, do it to scare the NHL.

Saturday – woke up hung out caught up on some Tivo. Watched “In America”. Love the movie, but damn Jim Sheridan, could you cut some of the emotional stomach punches you throw. It is a story based on Jim Sheridan’s family’s life through the kids’ eyes. How they came to New York City, illegally, to live in high-rise flophouse, after the death of one of their children, as the father is trying to peruse an acting career. After that bit of fun we were off to meet friends for lunch. So we meet at Wahoo’s for some tasty goodness. If you do not know of Wahoo’s or not near a Wahoo’s then I feel infinite sadness for you. After lunch the wife and I just wander around the South Coast Plaza behemoth. It was nice to be chilling and not worrying about work.

Sunday – Not much read, more Tivo and ran some errands, but another pleasant day with the Better Half. I need to get going on her birthday planning. She wants to go down to S.D. for dinner at a great Mexican restaurant in Old Towne, Casa de Pico. It is a great place with great Mexican grub, and some big ass margaritas. We will crash at hotel near by and get home Sunday for Lacrosse. I have forgotten to mention that my wife is big into the lacrosse as well. She got a reason. She went to school back east. So I must get in gear. Also have to get that watch she pointed out.

I want to send a big shout out to my good friend Geoff and his wife on the birth of their second child. The Boski clan would like to extend its best wishes and a case of Crystal Pepsi to you.

Hello kids, it is Friday and the free world is safe. I am just winding down week working for man. Nothing to exciting to report. They seem to like me and I have not screwed up too much. I just wonder how much more I would have gotten done if I did not have ADD. Stupid internet and minimal attention. I did get to see what is going on in NFL free agency, world events, celebrity news. Belgian Soccer hooligans, Trapist Monk on glue, the club scene in Ulan Bator. So you can see important work was done.

Sorry to go all Larry King but here I go:

Just imagine what a world we would have if John Sanunu and Sheneneh Jenkins from that TV gem Martin had married. She would be Sheneneh Sanunu. Damn Gina!

Why isn't Fudge on the Periodic Table

Danish Imperialism - coming to a neighborhood near you.

Icky Woods - the world will not forget

Everything time you laugh at a Jeff Foxworthy joke, a puppy dies.

Screw March madness, I want my NIT narcolepsy we are 66, we are 66.

Is it time for NFL Europe yet . . .

The Oscars

watched, not too bad. Pissed to find out that anything with Ashton Kutcher was not nominated. My god didn't they watch The Bosses Daughter. (Note Terence Stamp - I do not know how bad you needed the money, but why, why?)

Chris Rock did as well as he possible could on network TV. I did love his Renee Zellweger gained 30 pounds to play Bridget Jones and next will gain 80 pounds to play Deacon Jones.

Speaking of Zellweger. What is up with her grill. Why does she look like she has either slamming straight lemon juice or has had really bad soup.

Paul Giamatti - not being nominated, biggest rip since Bill Murray in Rushmore.

Too much Oprah no Uma.

The whole lets put all the nominee on stage and announce a winner. That was horseshit. You want rating. Have all the nominees on stage. Then take an Oscar and put it on the ground and have them go after it. Let us see who wants it the most.

Four plus hours of the Oscar's and not one veal reference.

The Aviator would have won more awards if they movie was more about Old man Hughes making sweet, sweet love to the crazy.

Some one need to stop Joan and her spawn. Enough is enough.

Star Jones / Warren Sapp have you seen either at the same event.

Over the years, I have thought that I have a talent that I am not sharing with the world. A talent that should provide me with wealth beyond my wildest dream or at least the first 20 minutes of and MTV Cribs episode. It is a talent that was inspired by my man with the blogging empire Eric. Back in the carefree days of our youth. When young Eric was on loan to West Coast he told me one day out of the blue. "Matt do you know what a good name for a band would be?" I was clueless, as usual uttered "I don't know". "Power Cords from Hell" Eric then followed that up with Motor Vomit. I did not realize it at the time, but would find out that I have the gift of creating cool band names. Along with my talent for naming pets: Drinking Buddy, Phil, Marco, Tamerlane, etc. Sadly over the years I did not have the forsite to write this stuff down when it came to me. So many have been lost, lost forever. I had planned on having a web page one day that would have a page on it that was a fake venue with these amazing bands like Techincolor Yawn (Speed Metal/Reagge band) Iridescent Clam Bake (Think Haircut 100 meets Black Flag) The Greg Evigan Experience (Bread + KMFDM + Blue Oyster Cult + Captain - Tennille = awesome). You see if I can put these thoughts down. I may beat someone to the punch and get paid for coming up with band names that may put state mental health officials on edge. So I will do my best to work on providing bad college and garage punk bands names to inspire and shame them. So I salute you Eric, a true American Hero.

P.S. If any of you take Power Cords From Hell and Motor Vomit and with out written consent of MLB and Eric you will be beatened severely.

I would like to extend a very belated birthday greeting to my man. The King of the Desert Hooligans. I know you deny their existence, but we all know that you are their King. Well I feel like a total and complete bastard for forgetting your birthday which was nearly a month ago. Typical ignorant Boski bastardness (that is not a word, but I am taking it back). Forgetting to drop a line or call the gut who was your best man and someone who will actually take you on as a roto owner. Look I should have time. I am not playing Madden. So I have free time now. I am now going to crawl under my desk and bash my head in with the tape dispenser.

Yes, I am off the dole. Well at least for two months. Working as an HR grunt for the County Water district. But it was actually kind of nice working. Who the hell am I kidding. I am only saying that because I gave up PS2 for lent. We will see when this week is over. I really need to get my Keno skills sharpened so I can make it big and be the greatest Keno player of this century.

Right now, I know that this blog is not very interesting and that there is very little traffic to see this work of art so I am asking for help from the good people in blog world to help out and give me suggestions on how I can improve this blog, other than quit. I would like to spice it up and make it something you can hang on the fridge next to your kid‘s finger painting. Maybe if I can improve the looks. I can find a writer to add content to it. Free "mints" with comments.