Boski's Blogopoluza!

Well I have finally forced myself to sit down and type this out.

What has my extensive research has concluded is . . .

Some crazy ass crap is going to happen, but most of the usual suspects will be there at the end so let's take a look at the National Football Conference

East South

Dallas
Philadelphia
Washington
New York

South
New Orleans
Carolina
Tampa Bay
Atlanta

North

Chicago
Green Bay
Detroit
Minnesota

West
Seatlle
St. Louis
San Francisco
Arizona

AFC

East

New England
New York
Buffalo
Miami

South

Indianapolis
Jacksonville
Houston
Tennessee

North

Baltimore
Pittsburgh
Cincinnati
Cleveland

West

San Diego
Denver
Oakland
Kansas City

NFC Wild Cards Philadelphia and Carolina
Conference Title Game: Dallas over Chicago

AFC Wild Cards Denver and Pittsburgh
Conference Title Game: New England over San Diego

Super Bowl XLII New England over Dallas

I plan to give more detailed explanation about these picks, but knowing me I will watch Week#1 and panic. So I reserve the right to make retractions and corrections.

Here are my picks for Week#1

Buffalo (+3) over Denver - Buffalo 27 - 14 (That ones for you Eric)

Houston (-3) over K.C. - Houston 24 - 9

Minnesota (-3) over Atlanta - Brain Brohm Watch starts today -Minnesota 27 - 17

New York (+6) vs. New England. Pats win, but the Jets keep it close 27 - 24

Philadelphia (-3) over Green Bay. Pack has made strides and will be close, but Eagles put them away late 28 - 21

Pittsburgh (-4.5) over Cleveland. Another horrible year starts yet again for Cleveland. Pittsburgh 34 - 17

Washington (-3) over Miami. I have a feeling that Trent Green will play like he did in K.C. Sadly I am thinking of Week#1 of last year. He is not going to make through this season. Washington 23 - 10

St. Louis (+1) over Carolina - Even though the Panthers have been able to contain the Rams at the Dome, they won't be able to do this Sunday. St. Louis 26 - 14

Oakland (-1.5) over Detroit. The Lane Kiffin Era begins with a win. Raiders 21 - 10

Seattle (-5.5) over Tampa Bay. Not the way Gruden wants to start the season since his job is on the line. Seahawks 30 - 20

Game of Day

San Diego (-6) over Chicago. Bad Rex stops by and hilarity ensues. San Diego 35 - 17

Dallas (-6) over New York. Sunday night is family night and do we need to show this slaughter. Dallas 28 - 13

Monday Night

Baltimore (+2.5) over Cincinnati. The Bengals will show their true stripes. No not prison stripes, just it can't play D. Baltimore 31 - 19

San Francisco (-3) over Arizona. They are who we thought they are, the Cardinals. San Francisco 31 - 24

All right I have to get some sleep.

FOOOTTTTBBAALLLL SEASON IS HERE!!


Yes, the NFL is back and I can truly put the festering wound that was Chicago White Sox baseball away.

So it begins tonight. I am doing my last minute research and I will present to you the world my illustrious picks.

(Crickets)

Tonight we have the World Champions opening at home (1st time in 4 years) vs. the Free Good Hit of 2006.

New Orleans at Indianapolis (-6) (OU 52)

Well it looks like the a dream matchup of two team that can go up and down the field, with defenses that are not spectacular. I do not see the same amount of fireworks that everyone expects. There will be flashes, but it will be more start stop.

Saints will win if:

Remind the Colts front seven exactly who Deuce McAllister is. The Saints will still give some exotic looks and try to spring some quick strikes, but they will take from the "How To Play The Colts Manual" and run 50 Gut, Counter Trey, Iso plays and then cut them down and open up the back side running that zone.

Keep the Colts out of 3rd and manageables. For most teams that is 3 and less than 4, but the Colts you can stretch that 3rd and 7. The Colts can nickle and dime you to death, but better than leaving yourself exposed trying to get to Manning on a blitz and snap you done 14 points and you have to throw. Drew Brees please meet Dwight Freeney.

Make plays on special teams. This is the area the Colts have issues. Other than Vinatieri they don't have great coverage teams and no one really know if Hunter Smith is in the NFL since he is seen less than the Loch Ness Monster.

Colts win

If they can actually focus on the game. How many times do you see a team celebrate their championship only to get waxed. The Colts are 48-16 at home since 99.

Doing the three step. Everyone seems worried about the Colts taking a Ugoh out on the open road. It won't be a problem, even with the Saints have great DE's. The Colts will try to run quick hitters and slow up the rush. If the Colts can do that and not have to bring Clark into block, they will maintain a huge advantage. The 3 WR's will be enough, but having Clark up the the seam will be deadly.

The best defense is a kick ass offense. Colt D is at it's very best when on the sideline. The Colts have the ability to get quick scores and also grind up with the short stuff. Which make a sorry D work. Last vs. the run, and since they were so bad it made their passing #'s look good.


Survey Says

Colts win but won't cover the -6. Even though the Colts have been 48-16 at home since 99. They are also 30-32-2 against the line at the Victrola Dome. The Saints 37-28 in that same period. Last three years they were 16-9 ATS on the road (throw out 05 and its 13-3) 14-7 (11-2 if you again throw out 05) as a road dog. As for the Over/Under the two team will come close, but not over.

I am hoping for a thrilling start, but it will be interesting for 3 Quarters and then the Colts grind down the Saints, who will get a late score to make it close.

Colts 28 Saints 24

P.S. Take the over on the number of not so sublet hints that John Madden wants to meet Brett Farve in bathroom stall at the Minneapolis Airport (Not that there is any wrong with that)

Today I sit here in my cube actually doing office labor. Well that was as of an hour ago. I have been prepping for another roto draft this weekend. I have already completed one. One, may I say, as the now defending champion. I have the Burger King Crown and Silent Bob Bobble head to prove it.

So what does "In Faud We Trust!" Have to look forward to in 2007

QB
Roethlisberger
Leftwich . . . . errrrrr Jason Campbell (Thanks Del Rio, I would not like to ask you do your best impression of the City of San Diego and go . . . .)

RB
Gore
J. Lewis
L. Betts
D. Rhodes (He will be very rested come Week 6)

WR
Harrison
T.J. Whoseyourdaddy
Evans
Stallworth
Hackett
K. Curtis
Hackett
Hard Hittin' Mark Witten

DEF

Oh Carolina, jump across

K

Mike "Not the Motor City Dumbass" Nugent


Let's see I have had to already release a QB. My top back is coming off a broken hand, one plays for the Browns, one may not be the starter depending on the health of Southside Jerome and one who suspended. I took way too many Wideout's. So I feel very confident about this season.

Right now I am trying to fine tune my NFL picks for 2007. I work hard on these things, so you will all have something to laugh and mock me about. Tomorrow more football that counts will be at hand. Let see what we have, in a sea of cupcakes will there be anything entertaining or shocking? Probably not too many, but let's see what we have:

Folks you heard it hear first.

Idaho will beat USC. Tell your friends and neighbors. I have done a great deal of studying on this game and the numbers I crunched and all I have read and heard lead me to the Vandals beating USC hands down.

They will beat USC off the field at half time and then beat USC to the buses, during halftime to avoid having to come out for a second half Marvis Frazier beating.

USC 35(-46) Idaho 0 Now if Idaho does sticks around for the 2nd half then it will be USC 73 Idaho 3

Wisconsin (-14) 23 Wash St 16 I think this one will be closer than expected

Arizona 28 BYU 26 - The Cats steal one at Provo

G.T. (+1) 23 Notre Dame 10 It is going to be a long year at South Bend. As long as Charlies Wies' litigation.

Mizzu (-4.5) 31 Illinois 20 - Tigers could be the surprise of the Big 12 North Division

Georgia 27 Oklahoma State 19 Cowboys get trimmed like the hedges at Athens

B.C.(-6) 31 Wake Forest 14 The Deacons come back to earth

Miami (-17) 48 Marshall, Marshall, Marshall 20

My Eric Upset Special

The Orange 20 Huskies 13

UCLA (-16.5) 23 Stanford 10 The Cardinal will cover because the Bruins O will still be a question mark, and Harabaugh finds out that this ain't D.III anymore

GAME OF THE WEEKEND

Cal (-6) 46 Tenn 23 Even as much as this pains me because this make the MIL in the Bay Area happy. The Bears are good and they will have the jug blowers on the ropes and exact some revenge. Making Fulmer feel like me and the Better Half did last year at this time while in the Bay Area.

Okay I am rolling out, I am off to go back to the sweat lodge that is my home. We live close to the ocean and we really don't need AC, expect for about a week or two. Well it happens to be in the middle of those two weeks.

But before a shove off.

Hey Time Blair Warner Is A Bitch Project Cable, you think by giving me ESPNU that this makes things square. HORSESHIT. You know what you have to do, so do it! Also we are not paying good money to have a crappy signal. You have already replaced the box and cable and our problem has returned. Time to time when we try to Tivo something there are points it craps out and is unwatchable. We checked the Tivo Box and it works, and how dare you speak ill of Tivo!

Look Time John Warner Retiring Cable you not only have me to worry about. The Better Half is as close as I am to storming your offices. You messed with her "So You Think You Can Dance" one too many times. But you probably don't care Stalin Warner Cable Gulag you just love counting your money, but I know you have issues. You think you can give me the song and dance that you cable service don't stink. But you A-holes can't keep up with demand because you are beyond capacity. And for your F'up that you are not going to really fix any time soone, we all pay. Why don't let me pick the channels I want and pay for that? No you can't do that because it may actually make the customers happy. Also it screw with your fleecing of your subscribers. I know you have to have your solid gold rocket cars and fund those trips to Bangok to do lord knows what.

Not to go off on too much of a tangent speaking of fleecing I found this article about what is being done with out tax dollars in Iraq. Even though it will not come as surprised to anyone, I still ask you not read it near anything you value. (thanks Crooks and Liars for pointing me to Rolling Stone, who knew they were still doing something relevant)

Okay you have all suffered enough today. Have a great Labor Day.

Yes, oh dear god yes. I can not get here soon enough.

If College Football was not starting this weekend I would need Animal Control to put me down since I would be feral.

Ever since June I have been reading what ever I could get my grubby little hands on glorious football. You name it: pro, college, betting and fantasy.

Here is a list of what I have read. To show you why the NFL should have a restraining order out on me and how shallow my life is:

Pro Football Weekly - NFL Preview & the Summer issues of Pro Football Weekly

SportingNews - NFL, College & Fantasy Previews

2007 Pro Football Prospectus & paying for it Player Projection Program

Athlon's NFL & College Previews

The Goldsheet College and Pro Preview

The Marc Lawrence Playbook - Football Handicappers Yearbook

Lindy's NFL Preview

Phil Steele College Preview, all 6 of the regional preview Mags and Pro Football (which I got for free, I should have gotten it for the money I laid out)

Street & Smith Pro Football Preview (the only one that has a CFL preview, so go heavy on the Argos this season)


So all in all I have laid out probably about $200 bucks. Yes, I am a loser. I just can help myself. I love collecting these things I have been doing this for a while. I have some going back to '89. When I finally got a grown-up job in '96 it became an addiction.

Secondly, I have always wanted to see if I could be football handicapabler instead of just a dude who gets park really close to things. For all the gambling stuff I look at, I don't do a lot of betting. Other than $5 a week office pool and a couple of squares at the Super Bowl, the last bet I made on a football game was September of last year. I know I have droned on about it in the past, but this fascinates me to no end. I have never had a desire to bet other sports, well except for Snooker and Monster Trucks. Hey if I am in Vegas I'll throw something on whatever going, but betting the Hawks to beat the Nets by 4 on a Tuesday in February holds no allure.

Coming Up:

The E! True Hollywood Story: The Great Spacecoaster

Here's a preview:

"Just as things seem to be going great, Gary Gnu was tumbling into $10,000 a week, hooker and blow binge that he thought it would last forever, or till Thursday. Sadly Gary's love of the White Lady and Ladies of the Night came all crashing down when Gary was arrested in Guam after using his shrimp fork to eat soup while driving. The authorities found .02% blood in his cocaine, but the cops and the world was rocked when they opened the trunk of his Suzuki Sidekick. hookers midget jugglers, alpaca's, Rollo's and Dick Cavet in drag.....

it tasted more like Guantanamo Rice.

L.A. in 1,000-year Earthquake Lull.

(Thanks or no thanks to Livescience.com via Yahoo News)

I read this and I feel that this is like talking about a no-hitter around the 5th inning.

Livescence.com I will come for you, if I survive!

So long you torture approving, domestic spying, political firing, obstructionist, douche bottle.

Please let the door hit your dumb ass on the way out.

Glad to see it but it looks like our next AG will be Micheal "The Gut" Chertoff. And as we can see with his stellar work with Homeland Security, we can expect more great Bush B.S.

I know I have not been chatting about baseball of late.



As a White Sox fan this weekend may be a low point. A point I have not seen since the late 80's. Which were the Dark Ages. Just imagine the world of Theodoric of York. This weekend is being swept by the Cubs bad, but the Red Sox treated us baby harp seals. I think Mr. Tobin puts it best with his recap. (Bugs and Cranks)

But things with baseball have not been a total loss of late.

Tuesday, thanks to my wife, we enjoyed the Anaheim Angels of Los Feliz, by way of Long Beach beat the tar out of the Yankees. The Better Half was beat from work, so we took off before watching Garrett Anderson collect his 10th RBI. But we enjoyed chilling in a Suite, at the Big A of Burbank.

Now I have been fortunate to have watch a NBA game from a Suite. Sadly that was Donald Sterling's Suite at the old Sports Arena which was great, if it was still the 60's and if one liked being as far away from the floor as possible.

I have been in one for a football game, which was alright, but since it was in San Diego I could not enjoy it. One being it was the Chargers, and two was spending most of the 2nd half worrying about when we need to go, so we would not be stuck in the parking lot at the Murph for days. I am sure there are worse parking situation at other stadiums, but San Diego has to be in the top 10. I mean I had trouble getting out of there for Padres game during the Fire Sale years.

Until this past week I had not done it at baseball game. Well that is not entirely true. I have eaten Prime Rib at the Dodgers Stadium Club for a game, which was surreal. And then there was the suites at the Big A. A friend of mine's dad company had a suite for one season, but they never returned the keys. And as we would find out they did not change the locks. So one Sunday afternoon during a Blue Jays/Angels tilt, we ventured to see if it would work. So we snuck to the club level (Oh the days of ticket upgrading, when it use to be a subtle art) Then a couple of us snuck into the section to see if there was anyone in the suite. After our recon, we tried the lock and we were in. Alright this is great we in a suite this is awesome and we are going to live large. Then it hit us. As we rummaged through the suite we realized that it was nearly bare. We did find something. We found condiments. No food, no drink, just condiments. And since we were all broke it began to take a shine off the suite. But we pooled our cash and got popcorn, which was to use on the condiments. A barbaric practice, I know and one I could not be a part of. I am still a little queasy thinking about relish on popcorn. The other item that made the suite more Sweet & Low was the level of paranoia we had that we were going to be rousted. So anytime there was a sound at the door we were all looking for cover like a Bush Appointee when asked a direct question. Thankfully we did not get caught.

We did try it one more time and it was pretty much the same as the first, well expect for the popcorn. We grew tired of it and realized that we should be with the people. Also they finally changed the lock. Even though it was not as cool as we hoped it was still fun since it was like the forbidden doughnut.

All of this leads me to Saturday Night where my wonderful wife obtained tickets for another suite and we were able to find friends and it was a great experience. Even thought the Suite was in the left field corner, it was still a great view of the field. We had decent food and plenty of drink. I got to catch up with some friend and repay others who have scored me tickets in the past. It was nice sitting in AC comfort, eating taquitos, watching the NFL Network, and talking sports with friends. You could not ask for more, you could but they are very strict about shooting fireworks from the suites.

I now have to get back to work and try to forget about the mess that is Chicago White Sox Baseball.

Drop the Lucky Lager!

Moose belching causing Global Warming! Great, so now I have to worry if Marty Moose from the Getalong Gang starts doing keg stands.

Mad!

The world has gone mad I tell you.

What's next? Juvenile delinquents are pelting the elderly with pork products.

Wait a second, sadly I do live in that world.

Thanks to Crooks and Liars

someone brought in Ginger Ale for our office lunch.

I know, I know, how am I even able to dress myself and even function? I ask that about myself many a day.

You see Ginger Ale is one of things you have on special occasion, or if your traveling. Sure it around and I could pick up at the store, but I always forget about it until someone brings it up. I think 4 of the last 5 times I have had Ginger Ale, it was on a plane. The fifth was at a wedding.

So to me it is the soft drink equivalent to an assembly day at school.

Finally went and saw the Simpson's Movie this last weekend. I have the heat to blame for it.

I enjoyed it, no surprise. What surprised me was how adult they went on some of the humor. Not that I did not find it funny, but just surprising. I was also surprised on the lack of cameos. Never the less it was worth it even though I think Hans Moleman did not get enough screen time, but I was happy to see Hollis Hurlbut get over a serious case of Jebeditis. I won't ruin it for you but Homer is Charles Kane's sled. True.

So if you have not seen it and you enjoy the Simpson's, then go see it. If you don't enjoy the Simpson's then you are on my list . . . just kidding then you should go see anything, except the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Seriously Jason Lee, you are making money now. You do not have to take everything they offer. Now if you want to see the movie, but you have been forbidden to see it by your father. Then I advise you to avoid trying to read the Mortimer Adler's novel the movie is based on. You will just have to wait 40 years and become a Supreme Court Justice, mmmmm Warren Burger mmmmmmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!

People, please do not feed the ducks.

Seriously.

Read the goddamn signs. Don't feed them. Sure it looks cool and hell I used to do it. I thought it was helping them out, but you know it doesn't. It leads to avian botulism and sick birds might be a health hazard, but hey the bird flu is irrelevant right?

Also feeding ducks at a park hurts them. It makes them become dependent on people for food and the lose the desire to seek food which leads them to not migrate. At this point you now f'ing with nature.

But it's not the aholes who are too dumb to read the sign or those who can't read it due to the language barrier that really piss me off. What gets me are the vigilante feeders. These people are the worst and the most dangerous. We have encountered a couple of these folks who feel that it is there responsibility to take care of the birds.

Backstory on how I got to this point.

A couple of months back the park had some Egyptian Goslings hatch. There were 7 goslings and a duck who they adopted. Very cute I have pictures, I will need to bring them in, but I am digressing. As these geese grew there were people who showed up and were feeding them grain. Which is also a no-no. Animal Control wants you not to feed them anything. The reason being, they do not eat grain, they eat grass, bugs and other things found in nature. Along with not wanting to migrate, the other problem is if you feed them they lose their fear of people and that's when bad shit happens. How do I know there is a problem. Well the other morning we had a white duck follow us through the park on foot. When we stopped and were looking about the duck was right at our feet. The duck then tried to nibble my shoe, twice. That folks in not right.

So to the old man and his bike who has tracked these birds across to other parks. All of your justifications still does not make it right. If there is a problem call the city or county to fix it, or let the birds figure it out. If there is not food then they need to leave and find it. So take your bike and the boots you use to waddle in the lake to put out food and fix their nest and shove it up your old ass.

To the woman in the brown Toyota 82 Celica you can go F yourself. You are the worst. Yes I am talking to you "Mrs. I Volunteer at an Animal Shelter, so I Know More Than You". Just because you life is empty, it does not mean you have to do something harmful to the animals you think you are helping. If you did work at a shelter they would tell you the same. Oh but I am wrong and so is Animal Control, and Fish & Game. Those assholes don't know anything, how could we challenge you oh wise one. Oh wait you're driving a Toyota from the 80's. Which tells me you have not made great life choices, so please as the poet Ice Cube once opined "check yo'self before you wreck yo'self". Also I have not forgotten you yelling "Go to Hell" at us a month ago when we brought this up. Just remember the "road to Hell is paved with good intentions", so shut up and get back to your macrame owl and leave us all alone.

Hey while on a tirade about the park I have some more people to point out and direct my scorn at:

To the kids that chase the birds around or pull out crawdads and thrown them. Stop it you crap eating punks. Would you like it if I came to your home and chased you around with a wiffle ball bat with pennies in it. You wouldn't, even though I would enjoy the hell out of it. Every time I see the kids chase them I pray that they will fall into the lake. Sure some do it out of excitement and they don't mean any harm, and I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. Now for the brats that do it because they just little hooligans, I hope birds crap on you for many a moon.

Parents of these kids. Hey keep an eye out on your kids. Hell put a leash on some of them. Look why should others look out for your kids when you are out. Hey you are parent 24 hours a day till they on their own feet, so parent. Sure I know you can't see their every move and kids will be kids, but come on when your kids are swinging sticks at birds you should do something about other than yell at me for yelling at your kid. Which brings me to. . .

Dog of leash guy/girl. Hey I know your dog is the greatest dog of all time and is as smart as Steven Hawking, and they listen to every command, but they need to be on a leash. And hey don't get pissed at me when I politely say something about it. Hey I am not trying to be a jerk, I am just looking out for the dog. Look the rules are not guidelines or suggestions, they are rules, follow them. Oh, your wonder dog just eat duck shit, good luck with that.

Midnight Natty Light Drinker Who Leave There Cans Laying Around Guy - Hey sounds like fun guys, all I ask is next time if you guys have one of your ragers at the park that you just go into the lake and not come back up. It would help us all greatly.

Okay, I am done with my irrational rage about the park and park etiquette. If I have offended any of you I apologize, except for those who are the basis of this rant. You know who you are. Also I am not one to support violence even toward those who may be deserving of it, but damn it felt good to write it and get out of my system.

Okay back to your business everyone. I have to get back to killing time at work.

Jack Klugman as Quincy or Norman Fell as Mr. Roeper?

The fate of the free world may depend on this.

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08' - Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove - Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell - Sad to see Hell's Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II - I could watch ol' Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare's this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert - I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can't assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking's Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony - I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love - Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain't worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball - Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football - To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden - Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh - A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er's I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

"Red Right Tight--Sprint Right Option"

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson's Movie - I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What's wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis' of Springfield's Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons - I still have not seen the movie yet. What's wrong with me?

Old Yeller - No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis - Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin - You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic's to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was de-Kitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico's boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly - Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

and it's FOOTBALL!

Yeah!

Sure it was only the Hall of Fame Game but it is football none the less. I would have enjoyed it a great deal more, but since it was on that network that those evil people will not let me have you know the rest of the story.

Finely diced bacon, or just fake pork scented shrapnel?

How are you doing? It has been a long time since we last spoke. Oh I keep tabs on you, but I am worried. It used to be I could be content hanging out with you for hours, hell days on end. Sadly those days are far and few in between. I am glad that you have confidence yourself, but I think you are believing too much of your own hype. Hey you can keep your "World Wide Leader In Sports" title. I know you have already bought the stationary and monogram towels. I just think you have gone over board.

The past few years I have tried to look past your transgression, but this "Whose Now" is just too much. I tried to watch it a couple of weeks back. I had heard about this through Deadspin and through the Petros and Money Show. I knew it was bad, but I did not think it this bad. I would have been better off huffing gas and ramming framing nails into my skull. Which would have done less damage to my brain. Seriously, do I need Stu "Crazy Eye" Scott and the cast of "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" to tell me that Derek Jeter is more now than William Hung. F you ESPN, F you with broom handle in your ass, which I hope breaks and splinters in your ass!

What more do I and maybe many Americans have to suffer through. This is not Extra or Access Hollywood. I want Sports and maybe a human interest story once in a while. Your freaking job is about reporting sports not superseding the sports your are broadcasting. When I watch, I am watching to see the game or to get insight about the games. It seem to me that the sports seem to be getting in the way of you pimping, you! Okay pimping your self and the next Yankees/Red Sox series.

Tonight on Baseball Tonight, how will Friday's batting practice affect the ESPN Sunday Night game Sponored by Crucial.com!

But I have has enough of the BS. The following crap has to stop:

Stu Scott

The caricature that is Chris Berman - Hey Chris, if you bring down Tom Jackson, I will come for you fat man and I will hurt you.

The Firing of Harold Reynolds

The end of Cheap Seats

ESPN the Mag - Stu Scott but in written form

ESPN the Restaurant - OVERRATED!

ESPN the Cell Phone - how do that go?

ESPN the Home Pregnancy Test - If the stick shows Charlie Stiener then your pregnant!

The destruction of ESPN Classic

Enough of the Poker - Jesus H. Christ I am sick of watching classic flops from W.S.O.P. past and present.

The cancellation of Sports On Tap- which was a game show that saw a goofy kid from Orange County try his luck and come up short. Wait maybe this is actually good. People, I going to say that when the red light goes on, you can get dumb in a hurry. One day I will sit down and tell you this tale.

Dick V, I think it's time to put down the pipe and walk away.

Evening at the Improve or as you say SportsCenter - Come on, this use to be the show piece. It was my favorite hour of TV. Got all the scores and tons of highlights and analysis. But then you pushed it. Hey you were witty and I fell in love with some of the catch phrases, but now it just wrong. Look even the "Boom Goes the Dynamite Kid" thinks what you are rolling out is crap.

Hey you can fix this, and you still are doing a couple things right like:

Scott Van Pelt - Craig Kilborn but with humility

ESPN News Ticker - getting scores during commercial breaks is a wonderful thing.

Jeremy Green's football podcast

College Football

Ron Jaworski - I love NFL Edge Match Up, and I hope he does well on Monday.

Hey if you could, bring back Aussie Rule Football. I need me some Essendon vs. Fitzroy, or St. Kilda vs. Carlton

But take me seriously, I have got them Internets (where there are way better rants against you than I could muster) to give me what I want. Maybe one day someone will figure it out and have a channel that challenges you, so in closing I would like to quote the great American Stephen Colbert you are on notice!

but while out with the Better Half it hit me.

I really hated Dinosaurs. No not the reptiles that Carl Everett does not believe in, but the TV series. Not your usual, "wow I find this show awful", but Time Warner hate.

I know. Very strange.

. . . Michael Vick endorsement deals.

Seriously folks I hear for the next decade!

I am trying, but I have been busy. I am trying to keep this blog going. The blog has been something that I have done as long as many of the jobs I have held. It is a matter of time and material (hey football is around the corner).

I do promise you this, all three of you, I will keep trying, well at least continue my work on assaulting the English language.

Please enjoy our complementary fudge.

Cheney to take reins during Bush medical procedure.

So the president is having a colonoscopy Saturday, so that means two things.

Darth Cheney is legally in charge according to the document that he and the President like to shit on. But that fourth brancher has been in charge all along it's just odd that they are still trying to appear like they are following the Constitution. Wow it makes me long for the days when Al Haig was in charge.

Two, looking at this headline, the jokes just can't write themselves up quick enough. From the sites I have seen today I have seen the usual suspects:

- Which end will they do the colonoscopy
- Will they find his head?
- How will they get Roger Ailes and the rest of the Fox News Channel out of the way?
- Mr. Bush will get to experience a little bit of what he has subjected us all to.
- The procedure may keep the President from speaking for a couple of days.

All very good, but I wonder if Ol' Darth will keep Bush under sedation and tell us that he needs to for national security reason. Darth will inform us that,

"if we allow the doctors to cut and run before the Bush's colon is ready to stand on it's own, it will be disastrous. We need to hear from the Doctors in charge of this colonoscopy surge and review their report. That may be September or October or whenever. When that report is complete it will hopefully show that Mr. Bush's ass has met those Gastrointestinal benchmarks. America has to continue the spread democracy across his colon and intestines, which have always been a cauldron of anger (especially after the President knocks back some chili dogs). The Socialized Medicine Surrenderist will want to just walk away. Even a phased redeployment will not work. It will only allow the Islamopolyps a safe haven in which to launch further attacks and that he has it on good intelligence that these polyps were seen in Prague talking to Iraq Intelligence."

(Please send your virtual tomatoes and lettuce to my comments, thanks)

I really should not be worried about Darth, I mean what could he do in two hours. . . oh wait just thought about it and I am really worried. That bastard could could get into a whole mess of trouble.

Baltimore mayor replaces police chief.

They probably passed over Daniels again, bastards.

you have the oven set to evil.

Those were oven's that if the secret ingredient is love, then it's a love that requires a restraining order.

Hey parents just play it safe and get your kids something they will love.

Log - from Blammo

What rolls down stairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog.

What's great for a snack
And fits on your back
It's log, log, log!

It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's better than bad, it's good.

Everyone wants a log,
You're gonna love it, log
Come on and get your log,
Everyone needs a log...

I heard two people on a news show debating a serious topic without yelling at each other. I have heard about this before but I thought it was a myth. I have heard the locals say that NPR has this sort of thing. Hmmmmm, interesting.

Oh that wacky BBC, what will they think of next.

and very little work. About 40% of my work today was turning on the computer.

That is how today has been.

I feel quite Haliburtonish today.

brought his dim witted robot wife (I thought robots were supposed to be smart, but David is not the sharpest tool himself so it makes sense)





and he helping a pyramid scheme




What is Becks going to be rolling around in his Bentley with a "Ask Me About Herbalife" bumper sticker?


I think not.


Seriously, did Herbalife beat out Amway for this spot? Also where does Herbalife have that kind of scratch? I thought they needed that cash to stay ahead of the Feds? And fighting lawsuits ain't cheap kids.


I wish David well and I hope this helps American soccer, even though I still can't get into it. I am sticking with the EPL till further notice. The man is not the best footballer to walk on the pitch but he is amazing at what he does and he seems to be marketing gold.


Even though I am soccer novice, I do know that from what I have seen of Becks in the past it is special. I know this man is fantastic delivering the ball to others. I mean some of the long balls he strike are amazing. He is hitting guys 40 yards up field, in stride, right at their feet. He is one of the best at delivering the ball from a set piece. Penalties, Corners Free kicks, he lethal. The guy has been really trying to show he's a 90 minute player. He made a nice little run with Real Madrid this past season, but he not a complete player. So for those expecting something just remember he's no Pele. The biggest problem is not Beckham is will the Galaxy actually have people who can finish. If they don't then it will be a huge waste.


I just hope this does not become George Best II Electric Bugaloo. But every time I see him I will have to spit on the ground in anger. Because all that money could have been better sent on the Kings. Instead I have a team that maybe years away from the playoff while the Anaheim F%$#'s win the Cup. And no I am not getting over this anytime soon, so get used to me beating this into the ground.

That someone was Bush. In fact he gave us all the finger again yesterday at his press conference.

That America was a big FU to everyone, well accept that 20% that still are delusionaly behind this jackass piloting this country.

I wish he would just come out and say, "hey, I going to do whatever the hell I want since I do not care about any of you or the law of the land". I would be pissed but I would actually respect him for being honest for once.

All I can do is go on another profanity laced tirade, probably because I am suffering from war fatigue and I should get behind the surge since the insurgency is in it's last throws, so I will let someone with more skill go over the B.S. that was just pouring out of that soup cooler of his. (Thanks Crooks and Liars, please go over and enjoy the site, but read at your own risk since you will want punch or smash things afterwards).

I am sorry Mr. Bush has gone from an mind numbingly inept to down right dangerous. Nothing is more dangerous than someone who has nothing to lose and has no care for the consequences.

Post Script - Since it looks like things are going poorly it looks like the White House and Neocons are pulling out the same old tactics again. Either by using scare tactics or release bad news on Friday to make us take focus off the White Houses nonsense.

This time it looks like those guys and that organization that attacked us back in 2001 are back to pre-9/11 levels. How could this be since we removed Saddam and we so close finding Osama? I have no clue why. It could not be because i al-Qaeda has set up a great Club Med resort along the Pakistan/Afghanistan boarder. Well I should just blame the Clinton's, Pro-Choice supporters and the gays. They have all held us back. The whole item about Rummy calling off an attack in 2004 along the Pakistan boarder must be false. Hilary must be behind it since al-Qaeda where partners in the Whitewater affair.

So we find out about the new and improved al-Qaeda, just right after hearing they could be planning an attack this summer. An attack that was brought to our attention thanks to the bile duct of a bile Bush cronie. Hey FU Chertoff and your gut you hunch driven clown (Thanks C & L and Keith Olbermann)!

Don't even get me started on health care. I need to go see Sicko, I am curious to see what Micheal has to say.

Okay, the anger is out of my system for now.


The Iraqi government has not meet many of its goals and

Right now what he is doing to this country is tanamount to this. It the money after and he is not going to respect us, or call us back. He has also taken money our of our wallets, made a sandwich (which he did not clean up after) and then pissed all over the sink.

I am trying to come back down from the emotional roller coaster that was the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. What an epic display by those gastrointestinal gladiators. It is a moment of such historical proportions that years down the road we all remember with crystal clarity where we all where.



I was sitting in air conditioned blissed at the Caliente Tropics Palm Springs Resort.





Had a good time just lounging at the pool and vegging in the room over the 4th and 5th.

Like the Thrilla in Manila or the Brawl in Montreal, this Choleric Clash at Coney is the stuff of dreams, or nightmares. So Mr. Chestnut joins a 1,500 pound bear in a very exclusive club, but not a Club Sandwich, since it would be eaten. They are the only two beings to beat Kobayashi in open competition.


Sadly I was pulling for Kobayashi, yes I am an awful American, must be because I do not support Bush. Hey I thought this could be his last time and I wanted to see him go out like Jordan part II. Pushing off Chestnut like he was Bryon Russell and sinking that last dog. But I am happy to see that mustard belt back in the good ol' US of A and that Jimmy did it against the best. I however was not happy to see that reversal of fortune at the end of the contest. EEEEWWWWWWWWW!


But again it was a pleasant holiday trip. That evening we watched a nice little fireworks display. We were smart and instead of spending hours in the heat and amongst the masses. We drove and found a parking lot where a couple of other people had gathered to watch the show. So we got to view it from the comfort our car. We kicked back and cranked up the Classic Rock and enjoyed. Just as the Simpson's showed us that every Airshow has to play "Rock You Like A Hurricane" you must watch firework accompanied by Classic Rock. It does not matter if you like the genre or not, it is law. That's is not only because it's probably in most city, state and federal statutes, but it is also may an empirical law.


Since coming back I have just been plugging along at work. As you can all tell that it has been busy since I have not blogged. Even though it is Friday and I am burnt out I have to make at least a half hearted attempt at working.

I am wrapping up work and I am off for the cool environs of Palm Springs. Yep, 115 tomorrow. But the Better Half and I are going to get away from the asshats who are laughing ordnance that could be used in Iraq. We are going to do some lounging, some reading and some swimming with the Old People.

Hey speaking of the 4th, what is it with White Trash, Fireworks and alcohol? It like the holy trinity. Throw in a NASCAR race and forget it. Look I love seeing things go boom, but if I want to see a big boom, I will go watch the pros do it. I not up to watching cousin Jethro all lubed up on Natty Lights and Smirnoff Ice gluing M-80's, he got illegally from Mexico, to a tree. Hey I will wait till the next day and watch them blow each other up on YouTube. Hell, I personally would be okay if this year at least in California we passed on the fireworks. Considering how dry it has been I not up for tempting fate. The up coming fire season because it is going to be a big bitch. I think it will be one that's going to make what happened in San Diego county a couple months back look like a campfire. But the it is the 4th and if you want fireworks, go watch them.

Knowing is half the battle. . . .

So go forth and be merry, Throw that meat on to the grill, relax and please remember what it means to be free and American. Also think about how after this holiday we all need to work to help keep this country that way by telling the asshats we are not going to put up with BS. That the government no matter if there is a R, a D, or what ever the F Joe Lieberman is going with. Dude you are batshit crazy and we don't need you telling us we have to go after Iran. (Crooks and Liars) I know this sounds naive, but until the Constitution is officially thrown out they work for the people and it is their sworn duty to serve and protects it's citizens.

Even though there are days it is tough, I am and will always be proud to be American. That I will be disgusted with my countries action only because it can and should do better. We don't have to rule to the world, but we should play a better part in it to make it better for everyone.

Okay I am now done, go you rascals go and enjoy your holiday.

I am still steamed about yesterdays actions which if you go on the politico sites will make you ponder finding a rifle and a tower.

It was bad enough that Time Warner called and said they felt bad.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

this is something I have wanted to do for the longest time.



I would love to take batting practice on Fremont Street in Las Vegas. Set up home plate on the Corner of S. Casino Center Drive and Fremont right at Binions. For some reason I have a the great desire to hit baseballs and watch them hit off





Found on Flickr from this guys collection


Maybe it some deep seeded resentment of how the Irish are characterized, maybe it's some self hate. Who really knows. I just know that I have always wanted to hit baseballs there and watch them bounce off the hotel and the overhang, if I could even hit that far.


I could never hit for power. Hell I do not think I have ever really pulled a ball, baseball or softball. Everything is up the middle and to the right side. I blame Charlie Lau and Walt Hriniak for that.


I know, I know I should be committed.

Yesterday was the birthday of one of the greatest NFL QB's of all time.





John Albert Elway. ALL HAIL #7!


Also yesterday Frank Thomas clobbered his 500th Home Run.(MLB.com) It is sad he did not do it as a White Sox, but I am happy for him. Yes I have come down from my contempt for him after the 2005.

During the 90's it was all about these two.

I watched John Elway start the decade willing his team to a Super Bowl and coming within a Deep Thigh Bruise and a Steve Sewell fumble from another Super Bowl bid. Then go through some lean years only to see him end on top with back to back Super Bowl titles.

I also remember watching a young Frank Thomas fresh from AAA, go 1 for 4 with a walk in a White Sox 9 - 5 win at the Big A (9-1-90).




As the scrappy Sox moved within 5.5 of the A's. The same day Bobby Thigpen tied the MLB record for saves in a season (46) on his way to setting the current record of 57. Not that I remember any of that.

I watched this giant of a man who had a Ted Williams command of the strike zone develop in a terror weapon who helped put the White Sox back on the map. I watched him win two MVP's (should have had a third in 2000). Let us not forget he was putting up huge numbers in 1994 before the strike came.

I also watched Frank languish as the Sox floundered in the late 90's. Also watched him suffer through injuries and be an a-hole at times. Which I had to get a little bit of a chuckle see Frank get ejected in the 9th for arguing balls and strikes. I was happy to see Frank get a ring with the Sox, even seeing him limp through the season, it was just right to see him be apart of White Sox winning a title. Look I think Harold Baines is Mr. White Sox, but it is a title that fits Frank better.

So congrats Frank.

So you have heard me whiny not so poetic of my youth thank you for listening.

Why do people gotta to hate.

NFL Europa is no more.

Me and the 3 other sick bastards who cared about this are going to cry about this.

So don't come crying to me when one day you all wake up and realize that it's all gone. No more Rhine Fire, no more Berlin Thunder.

Time Warner it's on you. If I had the NFL Network, maybe I could have saved us all, you cheese eating bastards.

California has worst U.S. traffic: study.

When did this happen?

So you are you telling me that it's not supposed to take hours to drive from the Orange County to L.A.? Or nearly a day to drive to San Diego on a weekend?

Color me shocked. I had no inkling that the highways were overcrowded. No one ever told me.

Well I know here in Southern California we have a great public transit system that can help . . . oh wait that was scarped back in the 40's to build freeways. . .

Oh irony.

Impeachment Pie!

What a failed war that we were lied to about

Waste of billions on it

The casual nature the administration took with the destruction of a major U.S. city and no Mr. Bush just because a cities team goes to the NFC Championship Game does not mean everything is peachy.

The continued crapping upon of the Constitution. I can hear Nixon right now from the grave calling bullshit. (Yahoo News)

Speaking of overstepping the Constitution, I will have to hand it Cheney. Maybe he is just so awesome that he his own branch of government, but then since it is possible that since the Bush was not elected in 2000 and possibly 2004 that because of that it means they can work outside of the law of the land since it does not apply to them. It is amazing that I never knew about this new branch. I checked my pocket Constitution and it's not showing 4th branch of government. Maybe my copy is not been up dated yet, that or my version is a part of vast plot planned by our Founding Fathers to weigh down government with Check and Balances.

Maybe I should will go over and check Conserveapeida for some "truth".

Okay, I just checked, and I found the info and their are four branches.

1. Executive Branch - (Or the Decider Branch) It's role is to execute the Constitution. (I know I have used it before but it works)

2. Lobbislative Branch - In Abramoff We Trust!

3. Injustice Branch - I actually had a a great e-mail about what goes on in this branch, but it was deleted and you can't make me retrieve it.

4. The Dark Sith Branch - Naturally the one that Sith Lord Cheney would be in charge of.

So again I ask that someone get the Impeachment train rolling, because what more has to be done, or proven to show that this government is running far outside the law. If we can't get this rolling can we at least cut off Cheney's allowance for this outside the Executive Branch B.S.

Sorry I was watching way too much of the James Bond Marathon this weekend.

Oh my aching Thunderballs.

Roger Moore you were not awful, but you were a better Simon Templar than James Bond.

Lazenby you just did not have enough mad game, but who am I to say. I actually thought Timothy Dalton was not bad. Look Dalton was going to have a tough time being Bond. Look after you played Prince Barin from Flash Gordon the only way to go is down. He made the best of a tough situation.

Now Flash Gordon is one of the best "bad" films ever.

SUMMER SOLSTICE!

Campaign 2008 Coverage

or that we have Bush till January 20, 2009.

What am I thinking Bush in a landslide.

Ran across these items on a this great site. I spend time here and it gets me nice and mad.

So it seems that Bill O'Riley has been on his pogo stick about how some news outlets are reporting the news that they are out to harm America, and that he and Fox News are about serious reporting. But Keith Olbermann gives us a slice of the serious reporting BillO delivers.
Bill are you sure you got a Peabody Award, I think you may need to check it and make sure it does not say Magoo Award. (Thanks Crooks and Liar)

So let me see, Stem Cells are evil, and staying in Iraq is good. (Thanks again to Crooks and Liar)

Also ran across this one, which pisses me off to no end. So we can have billions either be wasted or just go missing in Iraq, but a program that promotes community service is seen as waste at $25 million. I really should not be shocked, but I am still pissed about it. (Thanks to Crooks and Liars for getting me to this site)

When you are finished please use the hand sanitizer.

Jimmy Kimmel has Emergency Appendectomy



Yes I am blaming you Leno, you big chinned, soulless bastard!



You are up to shit you assclam.



You are so not going to step down when your contact is up. You are going to screw over Conan like you screwed Letterman. Even though I am Kimmel guy I can't hate Conan, the man wrote for the Simpson's. Even if he was to go head-to-head with Jimmy I would hold no ill will. Which reminds me. Hey ABC, it is time to end Nightline and move Jimmy up.

So Jay why don't go get your nuts caught in a fan belt of one of the many cars you own.

I don't.

So here is more of the Adorable Stalker for you.

Those bastards from What If Sports have me hooked on the crack they peddle.

Sure I have dabbled with their game simulator. Hey, I have always wanted to see an epic battle between the 1978 Brewers and the 1937 Pirates. So till I get a time machine, can you tell me a better way?

I thought so.

So I got sucked into a baseball league. Sure they said it was free, but they always say that the first taste free.

I have assembled a team of White Sox greats and not so greats, to play in this simulated league. Think of a geekier version of fantasy baseball. It simulates 3 games a day, against other disturbed individuals like myself.

I am so hooked. When I come in to work, it is the first thing I check. When I get back from lunch. I check. When I am walking out the door I check. I tinker with the roster kicking myself for taking Scott Radinsky circa 1992. Should have sucked it up and got the 1991 model.

I am blaming the 2007 White Sox and their putridity this season for all of this. They have been playing god-awful it hurts to watch. I do not want to totally ditch baseball yet, but since the Sox are floating near the to top of the tank and only about 45% of the football preview mags have been released, I need something to hold me till football.

So in short I need professional help.

Trying to get the ink well going again: We do have ideas in the hopper:

The passing of David Halberstan

The Ducks winning the Cup and bringing much shame as a Kings fan.

Seeing a Cool Maynard Dixon exhibit up in Pasadena

How much the White Sox have sucked ass this season.

The color green

Noble Gases (Not sure if I want to go with the Periodic Chart or just monarchs breaking wind.)

My continued praying for AT&T's U-verse, or Verizon's version comes to Costa Mesa, so I can drive to or through my local Time Warner Office and give them their box back. It may be on fire at the time of return but it will be returned.)

The impact of Francois Mitterrand on French Discos in early 80's


So please stay tuned.

It looks like there is a problem with the new Atlanta Aquarium.

I think the first thing they need to do in not fill the tanks with Coke.

The wife and I were going to take a walk this morning before work. As we were going, noticed that the driver side door of the Boskimoblie was was ajar. Great, I must of been a dumb ass and not closed it properly. I get into the car and check the battery. Good news the car turned over, but wait a second. Why is the glove box open along with the center console? Looks like hobos were a foot last night and got into the car. I must have been an idiot and not locked the car. But thankfully nothing was taken. CD were not touched or my Sirius unit. But still sucks to have someone invade your space. I dodged a bullet, unlike a neighbor a couple house down, they had a wallet taken from their vehicle, that according to the police.

just watch Hell's Kitchen. This season has been the bestestest Season, and we have had only two seasons!

One word sums it up

Aaron




This dude has been gold.





Hey I feel bad for the guy and I should be going to hell for laughing as hard as I do at the crying and passing out. But if it is wrong then I want no part of right. Look he bought his plane ticket, he knew what he was getting into. I say let him crash.

to some really boring basketball. And I thought San Antonio vs. Detroit would have been a snoozer.

The series so far has amount to a pile of crap that mankind has not constructed a shoe big enough to step into it, yet.

Note to you LeBron:

I am glad you have made it to the Finals, but other than the Second Half (nice elbow to Ginobli mug) in Game 2, you and the 11 other guys you are carrying look hopeless. Also another tip, it is not wise to spot team 30 points. Just saying.

The Spurs are not exactly lighting it up themselves, but it look like all they have to do is just have to put the screws the LeBron and it is game over. Thanks to this car wreck, we get Stu Scott and everyone else at ESPN trying to put lipstick on this pig. Even though I have the game on mute, Stu's voice still comes through and haunts me.

Last night I wanted to "Phil Leotardo" Mr. Chase for the ending of the Sopranos.

WTF!

Where is our Wild Bunch gun fight?

Or a Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid ending?

Hell, I could have handle Tony wakes up in his room. He hears the shower. He gets up and goes to the shower door. The shower door opens up and there is Patrick Duffy to find out the last seven years had been a dream.

I have come down a bit from last night when I was ready to storm my local Time Warner Office and burn it to the ground (which does not take much with those a-holes). But after a nights sleep, I kind of get what Mr. Chase was going with by making us draw our own conclusion about what will become of Tony. We are all trying to figure out what happens next: is he coming to get popped, busted by the Feds, or forced to go to a timeshare presentation (wait that may be too gruesome)? Look it worked, we are all here yelling about it. Except I was pushing for getting popped, only for choosing that Journey song. That song is the only thing I hated about the 2005 White Sox title, but you don't need to hear that rant again.

I think we should have something more to end the series on. I personally think it should have ended with:

Tony takes care of Phil
Gets NY in line
Keeps Janice from Uncle June's cash
Clips Carlo before he could be flipped
Avoids the indictments

In short, Tony gets peace in his Kingdom.

The final scene we have a long shot of the Sopranos backyard. The camera pans in. We see Tony raking leaves. All is calm and Tony hears ducks in the distance. Two Mallards land. The ducks root around on the grass looking for food. The ducks look happy. This warms Tony's heart, since we know his fondness of animals. He watches them and feel a sense calm he hasn't had in years. He looks at the house sees Carmella. He smiles and begins to walk back to the house and. . .

BANG!

The ducks plug him, take the money from the Feeder and take over the Jersey operation!

They could have it this all for a song, but do they ask?

I feel a little better about the world today.


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Looks like Judge Sauer was not going to have any of these reindeer games. So they dragged her ass back to court and Judge Sauer proclaimed , "NO MORE MTV! NO MORE TWISTED SISTER (I will send you a shinny nickle if you know where that is from)! ". Well at least till she is done with her time (Thanks to TMZ).


Again I not always for laughing at other misfortunes, but this just feels so right with her.
I just now hope that the Dems will get a hint and take to Scrub and take him and his cronies to task for their crimes which dwarf this hot mess. I know a long shot, but a man can dream.

Seriously I do not think I can find a broom stick big enough for this shenanigans.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is so beyond BS. I am now truly ashamed to be a Californian. Considering what else is going on in the world I should not care, but my hate for her and her faux celeb cronies just sticks in my craw.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I forgot two other great shows from HBO.

Oz - I would to thank this show, along with my family, and social norms for reminding me that prison kind of sucks and I really don't need to find out about the scene.

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Oh Larry! Mr. David you are the most endearing assholes of our generation. Keep it up.

Carry on.

After what seems like 15 years the Sopranos ends. I will miss it. The show has been an excellent, even though it's had it moments of anger (for being off for so long) and ???? (did we need a Tony in the desert hopped up on nativie American goof balls?). But I hope HBO can keep rolling out the great programing and not allow shows to drift away (seriously Deadwood should have had another season)

But here is a quick list of my favorite HBO series from over the years

1. The Wire - If you do not agree I will have Omar come by and have a word.

2. Deadwood - Brilliant. Swearengen is my homeboy.

3. Sopranos - Should be higher, but too many delays and too many tangents they went off on. I just wonder what would have happened if the actress who played Tony's mom had lived. What direction would the story arch taken.

4. Entourage - Flat out funny, sure the "Hug it Out" maybe as overused as "Vote for Pedro", it still works and the show still is magnificent and from what I can tell from articles that it is based in a good deal of accuracy, well as much as we can get from Hollywood without threat of a court order.

5. The Chris Rock Show - I am glad for the success of Everyone Hates Chris, but I miss this show. Had some interesting guest, good musical acts and some great skits

6. Big Love - Moving up the charts, still trying to get over the fact that Chet has three wives.

7. Dennis Miller Live - I am really sad Dennis is dead and been replaced by a soulless chunk of carbon.

8. Not Necessarily the News - A forgotten classic

9. First and Ten - Bubba and Jethro you have not been forgotten.

10. Arli$$ - Yes, I enjoyed it. Hey I think Bob Whul is funny.

Not on the list

Lucky Louie - He was good as a writer for the Chris Rock Show, and is not bad as a stand up, but this show was awful

Carnivale - Never saw it, heard it was good.

The Mind of the Married Man - Awful, also it is not a good omen that the day you are going to flog your show on Good Morning America happens to be 9/11/2001.

Real Time with Bill Maher - A great show and I should watch this more, but he personally is such a pompous ass it is tough for me to even try watching him.

You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

and you do not touch Baron Von Beatitudes ride. Look buddy, you mess with the Pope you are going to get some Papal Bull Horns to the ass.

You have another winner on your hands this year. As I have said I am not the biggest reality show fan, but since there are so many on you can't avoid it. But this season of Hell's Kitchen after one episode has been awesomely awesome.

Just go here and click on Aaron breaking down in front of Chef Ramsey.

I know I am going to hell for laughing at this guy, but watch it and tell me you do not get a chuckle from it.

Sorry folks I will watch Gordan Ramsey all day and night. Sure his teaching may boarder on the Great Santini. but the man wants people to do there best. He cares about them learning, but since his name is on the show he takes it a little seriously. What you see is not an act. The man can be an angry bastard in the kitchen. He will not give ,or take quarter.

I would be too scared to work for him, but I respect the hell out of the man, even though he played for Rangers.

has brought on a spasm of blogging fury.

Will try to keep it up.

True.

Okay I did not dome her or hit her with my blazing batting practice fastball, which could get me work in the White Sox bullpen right now.

The Better Half and I were at an event for Project ALS. The Better Half got us in and it was a cool event for a good cause. It was on the lot at Paramount. So if you watch Everyone Hates Chris or if you watch an old episode of Fame, it was out front of that is where I accidentaly hit her. Look they had a stick ball game going and I was throwing the ball back in and she got in the way. It glanced off her and I was not asked to leave, so no biggie, but I can say I did hit her with a stick ball. Now if it was Richard Bey. I would have gone head hunting.

It was a good time, saw the studio, saw some stars and had a pleasant afternoon.

That dork would be me.

Hey here is me rubbing elbows with Karl Dorrell




and Ben Holland





Friends of the Better Half got us in and it was fun. I enjoyed it since I have a stalker-like infatuation with UCLA a school I never attended. I was not the sharpest tool in the shed and surprising a institution like UCLA is tough to get into especially when you know only 23 of the 26 letters of the alphabet. I would have been happy to just attend the university even though I do not know how UCLA, and nearly every D-I school missed out on my 5.4 40 speed and inability to even do 225 on the bench. They obviously never saw my highlight slide.

I am telling you that if coach had put me in we would have won state, No doubt in my mind . . . oh sorry I went Uncle Rico there. But I would have been so thrilled just to go and study history there.


Which leads me to a bit of sad news. One of my co-favorite professor I never took a class from passed away Dr. Eugne Weber, the other being my Better Half's Mom). Any time the The Western Tradition is on, I will watch it, even above some sporting events.



Yes, I said that.



But I am still happy that I went Cal State Fullerton, well that was up until The Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School visited. Right now I am telling people I just went to Fullerton Junior College.

Blog Pandemic?

Many it seems to be falling by the wayside, and this one has been feeling under the weather for a while. Some have just up and left and some have gone to greener pastures, but Blogflu this year has been quite potent.

I am going to try to stay on my blogging antibiotics and try to find things to write about for myself, and hopefully entertain you fine people. But looking at past entries I think some would have hoped I would have been struck down by this sooner.

Please use the virtual hand sanitizer before you leave.

Thanks,

Management

Stop with the Deadliest Catch.

I need to get my life back.

Your show has snared the Better Half and I in your Lobster Pot of captivating TV.

The past week and half we have been watching this show at all hours. Yesterday I spent hours watching stuff I watched before.

The worst part of all of this is not just the lost time, but I did not take Captain Andy in my Opilio Crab Fantasy League.

I am not one to enjoy another misfortune, but I may be a little too happy that Paris Hilton is now serving time. Wait who I am kidding, I am happy.

I am only miffed about two things about this whole mess. First, she is only going to serve a couple of weeks of time. Secondly, I just could not get to Lynwood to watch here get marched in. Rats!

Now if they can just round of the Crime wave that is Lohan I will fell safer on the roads.