It's Over. Due to low ratings and lack of ingenious ways to talk about how I forgot my watch at my gym we have ended this segment.

So thank you watch for the couple of months we had together. I hope many happy days for you if you taken and then donated to some one who could really use it. If not then I hope you develop jagged rusty edges and subject said hooligan to tetanus.

In it's place we will showing never aired of episodes of Push Nevada.

Suck a lot of ass.

Last night while at the KDH's home I just felt like crap and when I got home I just kept feeling more and more like Britney Spears' TV show "Chaotic". I felt empty, sluggish, incoherent and oozing of mucus. I am sorry if I have grossed anyone out, and I would like to apologize to mucus for putting into the same category as Britney Show. A flower bouquet is on the way.

So I tried to the right thing and cancel the cold by pounding an Airborne, getting some sleep, drinking water and getting drugs this morning. But like "Chaotic" I am still feeling the effects, kinda like radiation poisoning. As I sit here blogging it is still not getting any better.

Loud Sneeze

Loud Sneeze

groan

Loud Sneeze

Great my nose has just clocked its 6th straight sub-4:00 mile.

If I find who gave this to me I hit smack their spleen with my shoe.

Last night had another Roto Draft. This time I was actually able to attend. So after eight hours of cramming for the draft and goofing off I drove up to the land of Gracious Living to go to the King of the Desert Hooligans home. My careful planning, extensive research and inhalation of cleaning products helped me assemble a team that will make mediocrity shutter.

So please let me know what you think of the greatest team ever named after a place kicker who now does NFL broadcasting in Spanish.

So here is "In Fuad We Trust"

QB Tom Brady
QB Eli Manning

RB Jamal "Big House" Lewis
RB Kevin Jones
RB T.J. Duckett
RB Eric Shelton

WR Chad "Pepto" Johnson
WR Isaac "the" Bruce
WR Eric Moulds
WR T.J. "Hooker" Houshmandzadeh

TE Todd "Uriah" Heap - Sorry to go all Berman on that one.
TE "North" Dallas "40" Clark

DEF - Jacksonville
DEF - Denver

K - Ted "The Motor City Madman" Nuget

Season tickets are on sale at the box office or any participating DMV offices.

In Fuad We Trust Football 2005

Behold the Wrath of Fuad!

Irvine CA - Faux News reports that Mr. Boski is now asking Aruban officials to assist with the investigation of his missing watch.

"Well they have been practicing haven't they?" Mr. Boski asked during his own news conference held out in the parking lot of the 24 Hour Fitness in Irvine. "But if they are no help I will go get Geraldo. I know then we will get shit found. Look at what he did for Al Capone. He found a lot of Al Capone's nothing. Now that says something, doesn't it?"

Mr. Boski then rambled on, "Look I have got my beat up old Swatch and we will get through. I just hope the ruffian or ruffians who absconded my watch, even though it was through my own negligence, never have the right time on that watch."

At this point Mr. Boski then lit some sparklers and yelled to the crowd which consisted of himself, Cory Hart, a landscaper, Big Foot and his bride Nia Pebbles, three Falco impersonations, and members of the press (Faux News, Cat Fancy for Seniors, Guns & Gardens, and Highlights). Mr. Boski then discussed his future plans.

"I am working on a Broadway Musical about The War Of Jenkins Ear. The music will be scored by Chumbawamba and it will be performed by chimps. This will raise Broadway to new levels of excellence according to USDA standards. My watch is gone, but I am not going to pay a lot for this muffler".

Then Mr. Boski ran to his vehicle and drove off leaving everyone stunned, except for Mr. Hart who expressed anger.

"That dude was my f'ing ride. Now I am going to be late for my shift at IHOP."

I probably butchered that, but hey it's a dead language people. Sunday, Team Boski watched Rome and I enjoyed it. It was what I was hoping for. The review I had read that it moves slow due to the fact that this is and HBO BBC joint. Which I did not find slow at all. It moved well. Also if it is anything like Dirty War then I will be impressed. Now they just have to keep it up without going overboard. I think of this as a cross between Cleopatra and Gladiator for scope and "I Claudius" for the political and personal intreage.

I know that some of the history and story lines are as fabricated like most of what we get from the administration, but that is fine, I understand. The Romans did a great job at recording their leaders and their military actions, but did little of or nothing on the common person.

I am curious on how far they will take the series. Will we get to Caligula, Claudius or even Nero. Or will they have Larry David time travel? Hell, no matter what they do it would still be better than the majority of network TV.

Well it looks like it ended up being nearly as bad as they feared. And that we will be discovering the depths of the damage for weeks to come, not only in human life, but of property, infrastructure and environmental damage. I will not bore you will any thoughts and rants other than, if you are , or will be looking to profit from this disaster. Then I hope they make a nice cozy room for you in hell. This goes from oil companies to store owners gouging $100 for a bottle of water. Help your fellow man not your bottom line!

So my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who suffering from this disaster. And the hope that they will be able to put their lives back together. Also my thoughts go out to all the household pets who got caught up in this. They didn't barging for this and they can't just hop in the minivan and drive away, or run like animals in the wild. Okay, I am sucker for animals there I have said it.

Okay I got that out. I am most likely done with that here on the Blog of fun. You will be hearing about it everywhere you go, and I do not have anything I could add. So we will return this AMC Pacer of fun back on the highway of hilarity, or at least surface streets of snickering.

8/29/05

Wow time files.

When you are working at not doing work. Today has been blur of checking e-mail, reading up on sports and blogging and bombarding the blogwaves with my obtuse and random comments. I am not a blog stalker, but I do play one on TV. So to all those whose blogs I have blacked with my presence I apologize, but it's all your own fault for making such entertaining reading. So I am looking to admit myself to a clinic. I can not afford Betty Ford, so I going to try to weasel my way into the Caroline Lavinia Scott Harrison Clinic and Fondue Shack.

I see that China is getting ready for the games with a huge opening and closing ceremonies.

"Surprise is key to the success of an opening ceremony."

"We will try to keep the opening and closing ceremonies in mystery until the last moment."


Yes, I am sure they are. My guess is it's the invasion of Taiwan.


Waterlooo!

No, I was not in San Dimas, but I did go to a Wild Rivers in the shire of Irvine. My nephew wanted the Better Half and I to come along with him and enjoy a day of blistering heat, chlorine, a near concussion, and serious questioning of public health codes. We did and we did have a good time. It is always a hoot to see him excited. I suggested to my brother in law that you could hook up major household appliance to him when he like this. As excited he was he was very well behaved.

I will say the day was life affirming that I do feel better about my self. Considering Mayo and White Out are darker than me. Yes, when I took my shoes off it still looked like I was wearing socks. Look I do not tan, I burn. It was the right day to do it since it was damn ass hot. We would have gone nuts in the heat coming off the Costa Mesan savanna. So thanks Peanut for thinking of your Uncle and Aunt Boski.

Mr. President, I would like to thank you for mishandling of Iraq and skyrocketing cost of fuel. Wow, what a brilliant little show you got going there. I am so glad you have done something to get the thought of skyrocketing health care off of my mind.

Kudos.

It's a city I have wanted to see and one I have wanted to avoid. I heard so many people talk about how they hated being there and if there at the wrong time it can be oppressively hot. I have also listened to the horror stories of the drunkards on Bourbon Street and other tales of urban blight.

But in this city that sweats, it does sweat history. I know a disgusting analogy, but this town oozes history, again sorry for the crudeness. But the place holds a ton of history both good in bad. The American Constantinople, just a lot younger and without the Turks trying to breach the walls. I would love to see it and view some of that rich history. The other main reason for me to go, is to wander the setting of my favorite book, "A Confederacy of Dunces". I would have like to traipse the same path Ignatius J. Reilly took. I would do it without the heavy wool coat or dragging a hot dog cart around.

Sadly today we are staring at the possibility that some, most or even all of the charm and wonder of New Orleans may be lost forever. Which on top of some of the frightening scenarios calculated and realized about the affect of Katrina (yes this is worse than Katrina and the Waves) on New Orleans and that part of the gulf makes this chilling.

As I finish typing this it looks that New Orleans has lucked out to a some degree, there is still a ton of damage and their will be flooding, so not out of the woods yet. But let us hope that this storm ends up causing less damaged then feared.

We will now return you to bad puns, arcane historical references and sports.

Hey does this mean the Saints will be coming to L.A.?

Still no watch. Went back today and checked again, nothing. I fear that 24HR Fitness' team of investigators have run cold, but they are close to getting D.B. Cooper to join for 3 years.

But the news was not all bad. As I purchased a drink from their vending machine, I ended up with two overpriced bottles of energy drink. Ah vengeance is mine!

So now I just need to have that happen about 49 more times and I will break about even.

8/26/05

Latin Hip Hop.

If the Romans had gotten into hip-hop, would it have made the empire stronger and prolonged it's reign?

Think about it for a minute. Who would have had any chance, when the centurions broke it down with the vicious flow. Where would the empire have stopped?

Would Rome's enemies have tried to duplicate? Couldn't you see Hannibal crossing the Alps with his elephants lugging giant turn tables and using samples from Alexander and some old Spartan grooves and get up in the Romans Kool-Aid.

What affect would it have had when the empire split and Constantine created Tetrarchy Crew? Would the empire have held together, or would have gotten ugly and degenerated into East Coast/ West Coast feud. Constanisoplizzle in the heezzey!

We need the answers. Where is the History Channel? Oh they are too busy devoting a week to Hitler's shoes.

I don't know, but it is something to think about.

This morning, I had a good workout and made great time getting to work, about 20 minutes early. I was ready to get a jump on the day, when I realize I had forgotten my watch.

Oh it is not a Rolex, but it is nice watch and I like it, so I had to call my agency tell them I was going to be late because of my watch. Great way to start the day.

So I turn around, just moments from the office. Fight the crap pool that is the 5 North, which is just stop and go from Mission Viejo to Irvine. I finally get off the freeway get to the 24 HR Fitness. Run in and go to the locker I was using. When surprise, surprise it is now being used by someone else. Arrrrrrgggggg!

So I give front desk my info. At which point, I come to realization that the watch be with a new owner, in the near future.

So its back on the 5 for stop and stop traffic. Just because of one truck on the side of the road its panic. Finally I wade in to work now 20 minutes late. Nice.

So far I have called the 24 HR Fitness and surprisingly their crack staff has not found anything. I think I should have told them that my watch wanted a membership. Hell, they would have found that thing in seconds. Oh well.

To my wonderful neighbor who was nice enough to have a meeting of the minds. Thanks for being a jackass and sparking up the cannabis with your delightful friends. I was really happy that you got things rolling at 10:30 and kept the party going on till 3:00. Just loud enough to keep us awake, because it was too f'in hot to keep the window closed, but not loud enough to bother others. We should have said something, like "please keep it down" or "We are coming over to punch all of you in the face". We walked over to the young derelicts house to see if this was going to be a big party, if so then it easier for the cops to break up. Sadly no, but I so wanted to urinate on your car you ferret humping bastard. I do hope you choke on your own bile and that you have your nuts crushed by midgets with toffee hammers.

Other than that, god bless.

If you are not watching this, you should.

This season has been hilarious, so far. The only problem is the studio audience (well that is the price of success) and it kind of crowds the intro to sketches. The audience also steps on some of the punch lines, but it is freaking sweet.

So watch it. Enjoy it.

Isn't it time you did something for you?

apparently the Sox decided to show up for this series. Taking two of three from those Kirby Puckett worshiping cave-dwellers. Oh sure they had to do it the hard way today. No we just could not walk out with a 1-0 win and give Garland his 17th. No someone wanted a little free baseball and we had to let them tie it up. But we sucked it up and won in 10. Look I will go to Cincinnati and pick up Griffey if that is the problem. It would be no bother guys. Now it is off to Seattle to hopefully get back on track. Because if we blew this one I was going to let the Giant Pandas out early and let the carnage begin early.

If the MTV Music Awards were delayed, or gasp, canceled because of this. I could only hope. But what will MTV do? I shutter to think that Sway and Jon Norris will be prisoners in their hotel rooms. And does this mean that Missy-Diddy-Green Day Parade will be canceled. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The terrorist have won if we allow this. What kind of world do we live in where bad and oversaturated musical acts can not get together and crap all over music. We need to support really bad hip hop and Gwen Stefani, if we don't people may have to listen to . . . music that does not suck. We also need to be there for MTV, so they can work on trying not have any music on it, and MTV2. They know what we want and that is crap.

Note: Boski Corp does enjoy some rap music, but a lot they roll out on MTV sucks so much ass.

Maybe this is really why P. Diddy dropped the P. He was scared it was going to fly away. Seriously Mr. Puffy Shawn Diddy Badboy Records Rockefellar-Skank Combs. But you said you did this for your fans, since the P was causing problems for the fans. Well I know that I am not a fan because of the urinesque aroma that music evokes. You are here and Biggie's dead, I hope that deal with Satan was worth it.

For Bolton to start f'ing around at the UN. It looks like we want to screw around at the UN and ensure we piss off everyone. Just so Bolton can run over to FOX and yell, "look the UN is awful and they are like so not us and like we need to be like better and stuff." The Article shows us some of the wonderful Boltonian Diplomacy we are in store for.

Vetoing Genocide and Ethnic Cleansing, hell no!

Global warming, go f yourself hippies!

International Criminal Court, screw you we got Judge Joe Brown!

Reduce Poverty and preventable diseases in poor countries, that sounds like communism! They should be free to be poor and get the diseases of their choice.

Promote Human Rights and democracy, sure only if you agree with us. Don't go all Hugo Chavez, or we will sick our Mullahs...er I mean televangilist on you.

I know that there are more to the points the Mustachioed Madman is making and some in principle I agree on (how it is to be implemented thats where I think we would be at odds, also there were probably not his ideas anyway). I would like to see nuclear weapons dismantled, human rights promoted (including here) and some accountability on aid (to ensure it is going to where it needs to go). But a lot of this is crap in this blogger's opinion and I love making fun of him, the sham of his appointment and his god-awful facial hair.

So, I hope that Mr. Bolton is shown to be a complete and utter disaster at the UN.

Please enjoy some aged Pepsi Free.

Well I had not thought too much about long term employment with the trip coming up. But three things today made me think about it.

1. I working a temp gig deep in the heart of the "Old Mission". It's not rocket science even thought faxing and calling vendors is such a delight. I should not complain too much. They are very nice and they have me in a office, so I can feel important. But I thought this thing would be done by this week, but it looks like this thing will take weeks. I wonder if the agency told them that I will be gone for two weeks this September. Knowing temp agencies the answer would be no.

2. Now I get a call for an interview during lunch tomorrow, working for a temp agency. Lord knows I should know how they operate, since there are only six I have not signed up with (an exaggeration, the real answer is eight). So it should be fun dressing up for an interview, without looking like I am dressed for an interview. This is one of the few times I wish it was not business casual.

3. Lastly the company I interviewed at twice for two different positions and then was told I was not the right fit, sent me an e-mail about another position. Which sounds great, but I do not think this person realizes that I was there interviewing back in July for this position. But I will see what they want. Hopefully it will not be another couple of hours of my time for nothing.

Well I must go fight the 5 and the 405. Wish me luck.

You contact Dr. Nick Riviera, he would not say those things to you. In fact he would probably tell you that you are dangerously "under weight".

This whole matter is as pointless as Steve Kemko.

I hate to say it but this division is not over. If I yell please forgive me I can not hear anything in this free fall.

Man last nights loss was a tough one. Freddy pitched one hell of a game only to be punked by Sanata. That was such a waste of a great performance. Cleveland and Twins are now closing in at 7 and 9 games. We still have 9 more with the Twins. Who I really want to wipe the smugness off their faces. Kenny, if you can hear me, get someone even if we overpay. I know it is shortsighted but I think when your last World Series title was back during the Wilson administration you need to roll the dice if the opportunity to erase some much bad history. I know I am panicking, but its what I do best when it comes to the Sox.

Ozzie, rally the troops and if you have to you could always ask your bench coach to come our of retirement to give you some quality AB's in September. Paging Harold Baines, paging Harold Baines. I know that would be impossible but what a story. Look he keeps in shape and he still younger than Julio Franco, who may have been born during the Wilson administration as well.

They just need to string a couple of wins together and get back to what they do. Pitch, scrap and win the close ones.

Now please enjoy an incredible voyage through LaMar Hoyt's beard.

Yes, you were right and I am not disagreeing, but it does not bring it back. You can not replay it, it is done. Look I think it balances out the 66 World Cup with West Germany. I just glad Maradona took the time to get off the drugs to let us know.

To our neighbors behind us. One I would love to thank the family that has their dog outside all night and do nothing to control the barking. I do not blame the dog I think he angry at the people who own him, even though the dog is a bit of an ass. You never lift a finger to ask the dog to quiet down or put him in the garage or a pen if he is agitated. What are you people that deaf. But I really love it when you are out of town and the poor dog is barking is brains out. Thank I hope all of your shoes are filled with dog crap.

Also I want to thank the wonderful slacker who also lives behind us who loves to have his friends over drinking and probably sparking up the weed. Hey I was young and though I have not taken the Chronic, I did hang with friends at late hours, but we did try to do one thing. Not bother anyone!

I hope you enjoy partying and trashing your house, as your mom works nights. She must be so proud. I swear every summer like the evil swallows returning to Capistano, you and your burnout friends decided that being out doors drinking from 10:00 till about 1:00 at a loud level is really cool. Can you take it inside? What do you want an Air Conditioner?. Look I will fucking come over and build you one if you just go the fuck inside and be quite. You see where you love to have your thrilling discussions on world events, particle physics or what bitchen off road equipment you have destroyed is really close to our bedroom and you know we would like to sleep. I know it sounds silly but people do have to get up before noon. You will find this out if you get a job (unlikely), or if you spend time in rehab or a correctional facility. Look Team Boski does not want to be dicks and we do not want to waste till of CMPD by calling. Sadly you at the point where you are a nuisance. That they would tell us to settle it ourselves, but if we did tell you, you would get it lost in that Steven Hawking mind of yours. I will commend you that you have not had sex out in the back yard at 3:00 in the morning in awhile. Oh you pushed it that night. I do regret not allowing the Better Half to get the hose and spray you and your woman or goat you were with. But thanks, thank you so much. I wish I could repay you with a cheese grater to your nuts or pillow case of door knobs.

Okay I feel better now.

To the 666 Club.

WTF Pat! I do hope the man upstairs takes the time to involve you in the biggest gay sex scandal the world will ever know and may he take the time to involve sheep and other animals. Pat I think you may have scared some of the students at Bob Jones University, not all some. Also, I think Oral Roberts is on the phone asking if you could be "taken home".

I don't know what is scarier?

1. That he said it and said it on his airwaves, which are conveniently unregulated.

2. That there are many of his cadre. . . er flock that nod and say well he's right.

Or

3. That there are some who think Pat's being too soft and has gone too PC.

You say you are a man of God. When in your statement I think you asking for the breaking of at least two commandments. I think you can get ticketed for "Thall shall not Kill" and I think we can replace "Coveting Your Neighbors Wife" with oil. So book em Danno!

Pat, since I will not even dignify you with Mr. Unless I add Assclam to it, All I see from you is hate plain and simple. What do you do with all that money you generate from your followers? Hey it is a free country and if you feel your voice and views need to be heard then fine, but what help are you doing for the world other than keep mock turtle neck sweater manufactures happy? What about helping your fellow man, or does it matter how he or she votes?

I think Pat if you hung with Jesus you would think he was not "Goddy" enough for you, I think you would even call him a communist.

So Pat I hope years and years of bad soup and locus.

The views express here at the Blog of Fun are those of Management and without the written consent of Major league Baseball and New Coke. Any reuse or rebroadcast of this blog will only result in shame and death to small house plants.

I think he got busted on S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night, alright.

Oh this is truly a blow to the Tartan Pop Star world.

Wow now the Maytag Repair Guy has enough cash to blow on hookers, crack and Hummel figurines to forget that he is not needed.

I know it is a staple of this little blog, but I going to try to work to tone down the "woe is me", "I have no career", "waaa!" crapitude. Oh don't worry I am not going to let the Self Deprecation Masters go to waste. It still will be put to use but hopefully in a more comedic and entertaining fashion. Think of it as Scooby Doo, but a lot less Scrappy Doo.

As you can see I have some access at work today. I am going to run it for all its worth, while trying to accomplish something.

Congrats to my man the Red Head IT man on his birthday. Thanks for the wonderful party you and your wife do a fantastic job hosting. Great to see some of old friends. It is also great to sit back and recount our days working for the Mouse and realize how much we got away with, while at the same time not killing anyone. The only thing we hurt were rude guests' feelings.


So I am Tom Boskidett and we will leave the blog on for you.

Well I see Mr. Phillips is back in the news again. I think every Arena league team is on the phone looking for his magical talent. I think Nebraska should return the National Title they won with him, just out of decency.

The Royals East win one. Take that Big Mullet!

Now can we please go and ruin the Twins this week. These are truly the dog days.

And I thought they called me Asshat because it was a term of indearment. Well that will learn me.

Maybe just maybe if Snoop ran the XFL it would stayed afloat. Well at least for a couple of seasons.

And I thought it was he listend to his last three albums.

8/17/05

PacMan Fever?

Adam "PacMan" Jones has been providing some wonderful humor during his hold out, which has been over shadowed by T.O. In his comments to the press he made reference to himself in the third person, but he used his nickname.

Which leads me to a question. Could referring to your nickname in the third person make really referring to yourself in the fourth person? Just curious.

Thank you and now please enjoy great moments with Warren G. Harding.

To the gentleman in the large yellow (fanny packesque looking) truck, that burning rubber and roaring through a parking garage makes you so very cool. I don't know how you hold up the mantle of coolness on those narrow shoulders. Maybe you get help from the other asshole in his 70's muscle car who feels the need to rev the car for a minutes at a time, so everyone in the County of Orange can hear him. Just wanted to say,"way to go guys, I wish I could be a cool as you one day".

I keep forgetting that the Better Half and I leave for our HFH trip to Kauai in less than a month. I have to get water wings this weekend.

Great job guys. Thanks for sucking ass this weekend in Boston and now with the Twins at home. We could have been better host and at least have Santana throw the no-hitter, then we could have said we accomplished something. These last two though are ones to tell the kids about. Losing in 16 innings by 5 after allow in the game to get tied up in the 9th, and today's little humiliation. I know we are hurting but damn it show some life. I swear if we blow this season, I do not know if I can recover from it. I thought this was going to be one of those out of the blue seasons like the Tigers in '84, but this may end up being like the '84 Cubs where it all for nothing. If there is failure I may just have to change teams, hell I may even change leagues. I think I may just adopt a Japanese team. I could go for the Giants, or maybe settle for the tastiest team in the Japanese Central league, the Nippon Ham Fighters.

But after typing my handwritten diatribe where I was going to get all heavy about President Bush comment on "all the options are on the table" for Iran. It fizzled into a long winded history and geopolitical rant. Which sounded great to me, but after typing some of it I realized it sucked, so I will save you the trouble.

As mayor of the Village of White Sox I have a small message for the Sox.

Having the best record in baseball will mean jack if we soil our selves in
the playoffs
.


Why am I having flashbacks to 2000.

Maybe just maybe this little swoon will be exactly what is needed to get the focus back and hopefully mean success in October, or it just means I will get my hopes crushed again.

"This does not concern you fat man."

This borders on if O.J. asked to mediate for the Goldman's if they were seeking a divorce.

I think we need to check if he's having the maid run out for some of that hillbilly heroin. But maybe just maybe it would work in that T.O. and McNabb would unite to fight Mr. Staypuff.

9-8 loss Friday, 7-4 loss Saturday and finally when it looked like we were going to salvage some pride the skies opened and made it a lost weekend for the greatest franchise to ever throw a World Series and wear shorts. But the Broncos won a meaningless preseason game and Manchester United did win its opener. Come on I am grasping here people.

I think my blog is being spamed. Is this happening to anyone else? I think I may have made one too many Amway jokes and now it bites me on the ass.

Yesterday, I heard about the passing of Ted "Double Duty" Radcliffe. It took me back to September of 1996 when a young Boski freshly matriculated from the C.S.U.F. had finished his five year tour of duty at Disney. The end of that summer the Better Half and I went back to visit her family in Southern Illinois. But in the course of the trip we caught a game a Busch Stadium and thanks to her work connections, at the time, a game at Comiskey. We flew in to Chicago and raced to Comiskey see the Sox drop a game to the Tigers on Labor Day. A game that they, if they had won would have set up a possible playoff with the O's for the Wild Card that year (well that's what I going to keep telling myself). But that loss did have a bright side. Playing for the Tigers was former C.S.U.F. All-American and former EDHS alum Phil Nevin. Who we were able to flag down after the game (thank god I had my Titan sweatshirt) and say hello to. We were able to chat for a couple of minutes and he was gracious enough to give us tickets (great tickets) for the next night. Hey he was in a good mood, he had hit his first American league Homer. He must of also forgotten all the passes I dropped on him in practice.

So where am I going with this, well the next night Team Boski gets to the New Comiskey and took a tour around and soak it in. We had finished our tour around and were going to head to our seats when we say a elderly gentleman in a wheelchair. He must of known that I was not a local. The shorts, polo shirt, White Sox hat and goofy look on my face may have given it away. But he said hello and we talked for a couple of minutes. At first I did not realize who it was, the usher who was assigned to him let us know. Then I could almost hear a melancholy version of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and David McCullough narrating. I had just watch that Inning of the documentary about three months back. So realizing I was talking to baseball history I excused myself and ran to the souvenir stand and got a baseball. The usher also let us know that he would sign it. So here I was talking to a man who played with Jackie Robinson, Satchel Paige, Josh Gipson, Cool Papa Bell, I could go on and on. And it not like he was a utility man who hung on. The man was an All-Star. Hell, the man got his nickname for catching the first game of a doubleheader and then pitch the second. In fact I think there is a story of him catching a Satchel Paige no-hitter then he pitched a shutout the second game. Which sounds great, but Paige was pissed that he gave up a hit and didn't talk to him for a week. We both thanked him for his time and the autograph and that we were very honored to meet him. The Better Half even got a couple of photos of it. Which I will drag up one day and put them on here. But he was just such a nice man even if he was not a former baseball player. I can still remember him telling me as the Better Half was taking the picture that I should marry her and not let her go. Which I did. I know that sounds hokey, but he did say it. That was one of those moments in my life that gives me chills in the positive way. That here I am seeing history in its purest form. Like going to the The Huntington. Walk by a copy of a Gutenberg Bible, then being able to view actual Mark Twain manuscripts. I know I have said this before, but its like porn for historians.

That night was sports hat trick. Met a baseball legend (Double Duty), watch my hero play in the uniform he should have always been in (Harold Baines) and the Sox won 6-4. Not too shabby.

So thank you again Double Duty.

Make the bad David Ortiz stop. Way to get off to a great start. Losing 9-8, after having a nice lead and then almost. Outstanding, I have a feeling I may have to drown out the pain with exhibition football. But I have to remember these White Sox are not the ones I have grown accustomed to, or so I think.

This weekend we must witness the clash of the Sox which splits this county into two camps. Those who root for the Red Sox and those who hate the White Sox, with a couple of outpost of people who root for America's Newest Cult Heroes.

After taking two of three and avoiding falling Yankee fans, we step into a hornets nest with the Red Sox. Who happen to be on an 11 game home win streak. Great, but this will be what the White Sox need. We need to play well in places we are not expected to, which means the Red Sox will sweep This team has been playing October baseball all year. Pitch, scrap and win one run ball games. This team has played great on the road. In fact they have surpassed their road win total from last year, and we have over a month left. So fight on White Sox, fight on!

This message has been approved by the Mayor of White Sox Village.

As I left my gym this morning I was watching Irvine's finest arresting a couple at the gas station by the gym. They looked like they came out of Central Casting for white trash methheads. They did drive a nice looking SUV, stolen? Maybe? I wish I had more time to digest the drama.

What were O's hoping to get David Lee Roth? Look Eddie got a live arm, give him a shot you need all the help you can get.

As I was biking along at the gym this morning watching ESPN I was disturbed by something. No not the 24 hour coverage of T.O., which is hilarity. I think all those who said he was going to be a distraction feel vindicated. Well it will be interesting to see what happens. Thanks to this I say take the AFC in the Super Bowl and the points. But I will say T.O. is providing some wonderful comedy this summer, but lets get back to what irked me.

I peddling minding my own business when I hear about a new show on ESPN2. ESPN Hollywood, you have got to be shitting me. Do we really need to know about which NFLer is hooking up with Ruth Buzzi, or which what Darko Milicic crib look like or even how Tony Graffanino pimps his Chevy Aveo. Come on people do we need another show about less than nothing. But it gets better. Your host Mario Lopez. Mario please get your agent something nice because I think you were a week away from managing a Shakeys in Pecomia. I thought it could not get any worse, but again like usual I was wrong. As they previewed this next gem of television which will be studied for perpetuity at the Museum of TV and Radio they discussed Jay-Z new sports bar in Atlantic City and a special surprise for the next Survivor. What? The big news is that one of the contestants is former NFL QB Garry Hogeboom. What Babe Laufenberg was busy? By looking at his stats you will ask yourself, was he really in the NFL? Look if you are going to do this do it right. Get some back up QB's of the 80's and 90's and put them on a island. Call it Clipboard Survivor.

You get the following:

Turk Shonert
Rusty Hillger
Take your pick of Billy Joe's: Tolliver or Holbert
Tim Rosenbach
Kelly Stoufer
Deiter Brock
Cody Carlson
Wade Wilson
Stoney Case
Tony Grazzani
Steve Grogan
Chris Miller - oh wait he just had another concussion reading this blog
Todd Collins
Gary Kubiak

and the Throwing Samoan Jack Thompson

And I could go on and on but we will start with this. Looking at it Thompson would dominate this competition his only rival would be Grogan. That was a tough S.O.B. the only QB I every saw wear a neck roll.

You get me that and I may actually watch.

I have reached a milestone. This is the 250th entry of the Boski blog. Wow I look back and I have to say that in these past 250 post, I have laughed, cried and attempted to abuse grammar and spelling over and over again. Wow it took this long to get to 250. I think I have some post that would equal 250 on their own. I would like to thank Blogger, because if it was not for them I would have never reached this spot today. I would be up to 300 post. Just kidding 350.

Well since blogger punch card is punched, here is that frozen yoghurt I promised. Enjoy and please share.

During my temping assignment someone had a quote posted on a door in the office.

Change is inevitable.
Embracing it is an opportunity.


It made me think and ask, would that be true if we move to a cashless society?

Hello kids it Uncle Boski blogging from an undisclosed location deep in the heart of Mission Viejo. I do not know how much I will be able to do, but I will give it a shot.

Let's see what's going on.

Look I draw the line at 48 hours of Madden. Did anyone tell him he could pause the game.

How could their be any problem? Spending billions to put late 70's and 80's technology into space. Look when you could go down to Radio Shack and pimp out your Yugo with better gear than the Shuttle then it is time to make some changes. Hell let's sell what's left on ebay and hopefully we can build something better. Just a thought.

Oh joy it looks like things are getting better in the Mid East. Fantastic.

Bush concerned with high fuel prices and health care. Would have gotten to being concerned about these issues but was too wrapped up in some old Marmaduke cartoons. But after expressing these fears Grampa Cheney brought out Georges new go-kart and everything was swell.

Wow, that Free Kenny campaign worked.

Ah, here are the wackos who think that Roberts is a little too liberal.

Betty Boop is 75. Glad to see we celebrate a tramp from the Hoover administration.

In the news that is important. The White Sox defeat the Yankees. We should all sleep well tonight.

I should be a sleep, but I just not ready to call it a night. Even though I am going to be stupid and try to get up for the gym at 5. That should be fun. Oh hey I am on post 246 a couple more and I get a small frozen yoghurt. Which I will share with all of you of course.

I was actually sad to hear about this. Growing up with in a Bobby Grich homer from the Big A, I followed the Angels. Yes I am a White Sox fan first, but I rooted and will still root for the Halo's. So thanks to being close to Anaheim Stadium and a father who taught me the importance of watching anything with a score, I watched a ton of Mauch's tenures at the helm. So I have a great amount of respect for the man. Sadly he will always be tied to the '64 Phillies and Chico "&*$%ing" Ruiz stealing home, and two monumental Angel playoff disasters.

1982 they won the first two from the greatest slow pitch softball team ever, only to lose the next three. Pete Ladd got his 15 minutes of fame.

Then 1986 that was just sad, but such great drama. Actually the whole playoffs were. A break here and break there and we are talking about an Astro/Angels World Series. He will forever be reamed for taking out Mike Witt, but he did the right thing. It seems that everyone forgets that Gedman was killing Witt, he tagged him for a double that came close to going through the fence. Also he was the only guy who Witt could not get out in Game 1. Gary Lucas had not hit anyone all year until then. Then poor Donnie Moore an angry man with a bum shoulder who just did not have it that day and what did it lead to. Yeah you know the story.

The guy could be a hard ass and not very flexible, just think Terry Collins but better by 1000. But he was a student of the game and he won 1900 games and lets not forget he spent a good bit of time with the Expos back in the early 70's which was not an easy gig.

He was the first to really use the double switch. He used every player on his roster. He played little ball with the best of him. I also learned a talent that is no longer needed. Now the box scores are incredibly indepth. But not too long ago they were pretty bear bones. I am talking in the days before the National. He used to be able to figure out how the games ended without seeing highlights. He could look at the box score and construct how the game ended. Who did what, who faced who and etc. He perfected this as a way to see how teams used their closers and how he would prepare for them. I know that sounds dumb, but I found it facisinating. In fact I still have that Sporting News article. Sadly I have forgotten the trick, but maybe I will try to dust it off and try it again.

The man won games using people like: Rob Wilfong, Jerry Narron, Juan Beniquez, Rupert Jones, Gus Polidar (we miss you as well Gustavo), Ron Romanick and Urbano Lugo. Let us not forget he won a AL West title in '82 with Tim Foli as his everyday shortstop. Sure you say the Pirates won with him, but they had more talent, and they were family. The man was a magician. We salute you "Little General".

Nothing like seeing people you have not seen in years.

Realizing your roto team has no hope at all.

Enjoy a nice BBQ.

Playing in a bounce house, yes another thing I will admit in open court. Why should only the kids have the privilege of playing in it.

Watching baseball and seeing the Sox continue to roll on.

Remembering how hot it gets where I grew up and being thankful for living closer to the water.

Having a great time playing with my nephews.

Showing the family the new car.

Knowing that Target hires the nicest transvestite Goth employees. Team Boski enjoyed the sullen yet professional attitude of the transgendered youth. We hope that he/she gets the cash soon and can make it to Sweden.

Just what you want in a summer weekend.

CKX should step lightly. You do not want to piss off the Sideburn Army.

First American Idol and now they buy Graceland. What's next buy Mt. Rushmore and replace the Presidents with Randy, Simon, Paula and William Huang.

Hey Elvis fans, or is it Elvi? This seriously could have been worse. Robert Goulet could have bought the place and get his revenge. I could just see Goulet driving a tractor through the place, yelling.
"Do you like my singing now bitch! Shoot out the TV every time I come on. Well take that you goofball taking, I died on the toilet son of bitch".

Now just picture that being said to the music from the "Man From LaMancha".

And we cut to the chase music.

Forsberg in Philly, Khabibulin in Chicago (they still have a team?) Kariya in Nashville. Next you are going to tell me the Kings signed Pavel Demtria and traded for Jeremy Roenick. Oh wait that did happen.

Mr. Roenick, I am still a little pissed at you for your comments, and so is this guy. You do not get far in this world pissing off Mr. Slappar, so I advise you stay out of Burbank. Since you are here we will try to get along. I did appreciate your trashing of the Ducks. Thanks for mentioning the current home of Team Boski and you are so right that there are no tall building in Anaheim. (no the upper deck at Angel Stadium and the Matterhorn do not count).

I am willing to give you a chance, but I will need you to do the following:

Score 36 goals (one for each year)

40 plus assists will be nice too

Not get hurt

Be a leader

Crush and shame the Ducks at every turn

and to get us past round two of the playoffs.

I don't know about you, but that sound good to me. Great, my people will send over the paper work to your people to be ignored. Wow, I am getting excited again about them. I now hear rumors that Plaffy is talking to them. If we can grab another defenseman and get Roman's head on straight, then we will might be a fun group to watch.

Last hockey note, Burke is a great hockey guy and he will be trouble. He gives the Ducks cre...cred...Credibility. Oh that was awful to say, I just wished he took another job elsewhere or came here when Disney owned team. I love and hate the pick up Niedermeyer. I hate the Ducks got him, the guy is money. But now the good news is I can do butcher the line from Animal House even more now, " Niedermeyer, dead!".

Now please put your hands together for Europe.

Did I just watch the last 30 minutes of a Packers/Bills scrimmage from Lambeau? Yes, yes you did. That is the football equivalent to huffing gas.

More of this fat pompous jackass. Thanks Oprah. I now want to go buy any Hermes, just to spite you. Well Oprah..er I mean Phil what do you have next? You managed to pull off your 'diet' program even though the Pillsbury Doughboy looks cut next you. I know you will go into hair care products you fat balding bastard. If your show is on till 2013, I just hope Patty "Drunky" O'Brien falls off the wagon again, and attacks you while you are filming.

So we have not even got to the first exhibition game and we get this. I should just get use to this.

During my "summer vacation", I watched the end of King Arthur a couple of times. It made me ponder a hypothetical questions. What if the Romans had continued north pushing to Scotland and across into Ireland and established a stronger presence in those areas. How would it have affected the history of the British Isles. Think about it. Would there have been a St. Patrick if the Romans had made the journey to Hibernia? Would a stronger Roman influence made Ireland, Scotland and Wales more independent of Britain, or would it have led easier assimilation? It is just something that stuck me and now all of you are looking at me like some loon and you have every right to, since I am.

This just in, Reebok has been purchased by British Knights!

Not a moment too soon the failing shoe company had been looking to regain the top of the shoe industry. Hearkening back to the heady times that they had Kool Moe Dee as their spokesperson. What's next Vans to buy Nike so we can get the black/white checkered slip-on Jordans. I can already see the ads. Mars Blackman hit himself on the head ala Fast Times and saying "I am so wasted, that's my skull. It's got to be the shoes money".

Oh, I have just been informed that was a typo, addidas has bought Reebok for $3.8 Billion. I hope Dee Brown gets someone that cash. Well you will be seeing a lot of the three bars come football season. That would have been a sweet story if true, but I think the Nike/Vans thing has potential. No one steal that. In fact I just spit on this blog entry so don't even try to take it.

I had a song in my head and I do not know what was. It had some music and some words, but I can't think of it. Does anyone have any guess. This is driving me nuts.

Such movies as:

Gladys the Groovy Mule
Today We Kill and Tomorrow We Die

or from such telathons such as:

Out With Gout in '88
and
Let's Save Tony Orlando's House

I miss Phil "Troy McClure/Lionel Hutz" Hartman. I still love the Simpson and will always love the show, but I no longer take the time to watch it anymore. Sure I watch reruns from time to time or pop in the DVD. But I have not been motivated to watch newer episodes, for a couple of years now. I now get my fix from Family Guy and most of the Adult Swim line up. Is it me, am I missing something? I am someone who watches Andy Milonakis, so I could just be dumb and missing gold. Or has it just lost it's spark. Has it jumped the "jumping the shark"? If is has, I think the premature departure of Phil is the cause. Just curious.

Now please enjoy great moments from Fish Police.

The Better Half brought up a great point tonight. That this whole thing looks like a brilliant move by Rice. Now since Bolton is out of the State Department have you noticed North Korea actually wants to talk. Hmmmmmm. So for his failure we send him to the U.N., a bigger stage an more people to piss off. This a man who the North Koreans think is a wack job. Great.

8/1/05

John Bolton

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A couple of reasons why I think this is crap.

Never a good idea to appoint someone who is boorish to try to work on settling delicate international matters.

The guy probably has never read the U.N. Charter, let alone spell U.N. even if you spotted him a letter.

The Assclam lied repeatedly about his record and the intelligence that lead us to war, and we are sending him to reform the U.N. (Why do I have Doonseberry in my head, "I smell promotion")

My god that man is our face at the U.N. and that face that could stop a watch. Holy crap, the last mug I saw like that had a hook in it. Worst facial hair ever!

Now we get back to our booing in progress.


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh Rafael, the shame, the shame. Even jucing you could not stop the White Sox.

In hopes of getting some good Karma the Buffalo Sabers have renounced Satan. This will hopefully avoid another Brett Hull incident.

End up getting hurt. Well I think that's how INXS put it. No and I am not watching them find a replacement. There was only one Michael Hutchins end of story. As you good readers know that today was my returned to forced...er employment. The day started so well, got up, got to the gym and worked out. After that I coifed my bouffant and made sure the Garanimals matched and made my way to my assignment left with plenty of time, so I thought. I looked at the address they provided and felt confident that I would impress them with my punctuality. I was going to arrive at 7:50 AM. But can you guess when I got to my assignment. . . wait for it 8:57 AM. Yes it took me an hour to find this place because I am idiot. Nothing like panicking for an hour. Gets the heart going. I felt so dumb I called the agency and they gave me even more confusing directions. I felt so dumb that I topped the guy from Ruthless People. But Boski why didn't you look at a Thomas guide? Well I forgot to put in the car. Also in my defense there are two streets with the same name in Newport Beach that border Irvine. Holy crap how did I get this far in life being this dumb I thought? I also asked myself did I pack my drool bib? Well thanks to the Better Half she talked me down from the Bell Tower and got me to my destination. My employers were not angry and they actually understood. So they let me hog all the shame today.

After getting the car, we took it on a victory lap. Then went home and grilled up some wonderful stakes(thanks Trader Joes), enjoyed some Maginers and watched the Sox take another one from the O's.

Team Boski, a subsidiary of Boski Corp Aerospace and Liquor are proud to announce that I have reliable transportation that I do not have to be ashamed of.


Team Boski is proud to report that this vehicle was not raised at a puppy mill and is healthy. We got it for a great price. The scary thing is was one of those "ads in the paper" the we have only five of these ins stock. All are colors that would not even make the clearance rack at Old Navy, or that magically they are all gone so they up sell you. Well the ad said they had 30 so we took a chance and wadded through the den of iniquity that is an auto dealership. Our sales person was a nice guy, a little too honest at times but tolerable. We went in, found the model had to take my third choice on color but it had all I needed. And thanks to the Better Half's negoations skills we walked out under 19K. The only things I did not get that I would have liked were; leather seats, a moonroof, optional rally sports pack, the 32 inch plasma, and the breakfast nook. Even without those, I am very happy with it.

This another one of those moments in life when you realize you are an adult. This is a grown up car that people will only be ashamed to be seem with me, not the car. No more, "Hey Boski we'll walk", or my fav, "You see Boski it is against my religion to drive in a dingy beat up two door Civic Coupe". Oh happy days.