Boski's Blogopoluza!

I blame my absence on being busy with a lot of things and not a state advised respite. Life complicated as it is has been a wee bit more complicated than it has been before, but I thought I could at least show up and fire off some random nonsense at you my audience. Yes I am talking to all three of you (but if we included the voices in my head we would have a nice crowd)

Campaign 08' - Hi, I am voter and it is great that we are talking about the issues and having the candidate debating, but we are still more than a year away. This coverage is ridiculous, to the point the NHL regular season called and said it was this was a little much.

Karl Rove - Go F yourself fat man. May cinder block fall from the heaven onto your junk. Now shove off to Hell.

Speaking of Hell - Sad to see Hell's Kitchen end and I am so going to miss Aaron cracking up. Glad that Rock won, but I think he may have been a ringer. I am too lazy to look it up, but he was working at a pretty swank establishment.

Gordo Part II - I could watch ol' Gordon all day. No surprise I have told you that before, but now people I am going to tell you this, and please take heed. Watch the U.S version of Kitchen Nightmare's this fall, it will spectacular.

Aaron Eckert - I am going to spare your life. I finally saw Thank You For Smoking and you were great. So was everyone else, well except for Katie Holmes. I am sorry buy rebar is less stiff. So Mr. Eckert this means that crappy movie you and that Octogenarian loving Welsh woman made will be forgiven by me. But I can't assure your safety from Anthony Bourdain (cooking's Lou Reed, but with loads less heroin) who will come down there and extinguish a couple lung darts on your eye lids.

Speaking of Tony - I hope you are all watching his show, I am trying to read his books and from what my life has told me, I will not be disappointed.

Big Love - Chet errrrr Bill, what the hell are you doing? Pride gose before the Fall. When you are picked up by cross dressing loons who make the UEB look sane, then brother you got to let shit slide. Weaver gaming ain't worth it, but I am glad Ellsworth was able to get out. Is it me or did Roman start uttering lines from Repo Man in his delusional state. Also Nicky, drop the dime on Alby and tells everyone that the prophet has another daughter (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Baseball - Well thankfully the White Sox have decided to stop playing with my heart. As they finally seem to understand the concept of winning. Guys would have been nice to see this maybe back in May.

Football - To say I ready for football season would be a gross understatement.

Madden - Yesterday my wife showed why she is the Better Half. Even though it lurks in my mind constantly, it was only yesterday I actually said something about getting the new Madden game when it came out. I usually get it around my birthday or Christmas. Little did I know my wife had been planning to get me the game. So yesterday evening, I was like many other degenerates who were skipping and giggling about like a school girl. All over a video game. Eric bad news, I stomped on your Bills 34 -0. Good news is that mean come September it will be the other way around. Now what was I saying about pride? What has my life become?

Bill Walsh - A football visionary who advanced this game leaps and bounds. Even though I hated the 49er's I could not hate him. The man was a genius. So I would like to say a couple of words,

"Red Right Tight--Sprint Right Option"

I Klondike Bar for any of you who know what that means.

The Simpson's Movie - I must be busy because I have not gone to see it yet. What's wrong with me?

Last week here in L.A. a legend pass. Hal Fishman. A man who was one of the basis' of Springfield's Channel 6 News, Kent Brockman. I will miss you, your crotchety commentaries and your lazy eye. I will pour out some of my 40 for you dog.

Speaking of the Simpsons - I still have not seen the movie yet. What's wrong with me?

Old Yeller - No not Homer, but when is Animal Control going to come in and just put Britney down. I mean this is now just cruel.

Blur vs. Oasis - Look it has been 17 year and I still have not chosen a side.

Merv Griffin - You will be missed by almost everyone, well except Deney Terrio. I will miss you Merv, but I am pissed about one thing. Why did sell the Beverly Hills Hilton and allow the great Trader Vic's to be destroyed. The worst part was before it was taken from us, it was de-Kitsched and moved. You might as well shot Bambi, because that is how it felt to me and the wife. Merv you had some big bread, why did you sell? Ah forget it!

Dog days of summer are barking, but not like Ron Mexico's boys are doing to the Feds. Ron you are done at least for this year. I think you may want to take that plea agreement and spend some time in the hole, because it will get ugly if this goes to trail. Because Mike this could run off the rails like some of your late season performances. And when you go to the big house you will need to tell your future husband that you have herpes. And the Herp Dog is a dog that bites back.

Now if Vick does go to trail and we find out there are other famous names involved, then we will have pandemonium.

R. Kelly - Whacked out R&B alleged pervert or Evil comedic genius? Because there is more Trapped In A Closet coming people. Right now I may be leaning toward genius.

Okay, that was fun. Well kids I am off and I will be back Friday, I have some business I need to attend to tomorrow.

and it's FOOTBALL!

Yeah!

Sure it was only the Hall of Fame Game but it is football none the less. I would have enjoyed it a great deal more, but since it was on that network that those evil people will not let me have you know the rest of the story.

Finely diced bacon, or just fake pork scented shrapnel?

How are you doing? It has been a long time since we last spoke. Oh I keep tabs on you, but I am worried. It used to be I could be content hanging out with you for hours, hell days on end. Sadly those days are far and few in between. I am glad that you have confidence yourself, but I think you are believing too much of your own hype. Hey you can keep your "World Wide Leader In Sports" title. I know you have already bought the stationary and monogram towels. I just think you have gone over board.

The past few years I have tried to look past your transgression, but this "Whose Now" is just too much. I tried to watch it a couple of weeks back. I had heard about this through Deadspin and through the Petros and Money Show. I knew it was bad, but I did not think it this bad. I would have been better off huffing gas and ramming framing nails into my skull. Which would have done less damage to my brain. Seriously, do I need Stu "Crazy Eye" Scott and the cast of "I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" to tell me that Derek Jeter is more now than William Hung. F you ESPN, F you with broom handle in your ass, which I hope breaks and splinters in your ass!

What more do I and maybe many Americans have to suffer through. This is not Extra or Access Hollywood. I want Sports and maybe a human interest story once in a while. Your freaking job is about reporting sports not superseding the sports your are broadcasting. When I watch, I am watching to see the game or to get insight about the games. It seem to me that the sports seem to be getting in the way of you pimping, you! Okay pimping your self and the next Yankees/Red Sox series.

Tonight on Baseball Tonight, how will Friday's batting practice affect the ESPN Sunday Night game Sponored by Crucial.com!

But I have has enough of the BS. The following crap has to stop:

Stu Scott

The caricature that is Chris Berman - Hey Chris, if you bring down Tom Jackson, I will come for you fat man and I will hurt you.

The Firing of Harold Reynolds

The end of Cheap Seats

ESPN the Mag - Stu Scott but in written form

ESPN the Restaurant - OVERRATED!

ESPN the Cell Phone - how do that go?

ESPN the Home Pregnancy Test - If the stick shows Charlie Stiener then your pregnant!

The destruction of ESPN Classic

Enough of the Poker - Jesus H. Christ I am sick of watching classic flops from W.S.O.P. past and present.

The cancellation of Sports On Tap- which was a game show that saw a goofy kid from Orange County try his luck and come up short. Wait maybe this is actually good. People, I going to say that when the red light goes on, you can get dumb in a hurry. One day I will sit down and tell you this tale.

Dick V, I think it's time to put down the pipe and walk away.

Evening at the Improve or as you say SportsCenter - Come on, this use to be the show piece. It was my favorite hour of TV. Got all the scores and tons of highlights and analysis. But then you pushed it. Hey you were witty and I fell in love with some of the catch phrases, but now it just wrong. Look even the "Boom Goes the Dynamite Kid" thinks what you are rolling out is crap.

Hey you can fix this, and you still are doing a couple things right like:

Scott Van Pelt - Craig Kilborn but with humility

ESPN News Ticker - getting scores during commercial breaks is a wonderful thing.

Jeremy Green's football podcast

College Football

Ron Jaworski - I love NFL Edge Match Up, and I hope he does well on Monday.

Hey if you could, bring back Aussie Rule Football. I need me some Essendon vs. Fitzroy, or St. Kilda vs. Carlton

But take me seriously, I have got them Internets (where there are way better rants against you than I could muster) to give me what I want. Maybe one day someone will figure it out and have a channel that challenges you, so in closing I would like to quote the great American Stephen Colbert you are on notice!

but while out with the Better Half it hit me.

I really hated Dinosaurs. No not the reptiles that Carl Everett does not believe in, but the TV series. Not your usual, "wow I find this show awful", but Time Warner hate.

I know. Very strange.

. . . Michael Vick endorsement deals.

Seriously folks I hear for the next decade!

I am trying, but I have been busy. I am trying to keep this blog going. The blog has been something that I have done as long as many of the jobs I have held. It is a matter of time and material (hey football is around the corner).

I do promise you this, all three of you, I will keep trying, well at least continue my work on assaulting the English language.

Please enjoy our complementary fudge.

Cheney to take reins during Bush medical procedure.

So the president is having a colonoscopy Saturday, so that means two things.

Darth Cheney is legally in charge according to the document that he and the President like to shit on. But that fourth brancher has been in charge all along it's just odd that they are still trying to appear like they are following the Constitution. Wow it makes me long for the days when Al Haig was in charge.

Two, looking at this headline, the jokes just can't write themselves up quick enough. From the sites I have seen today I have seen the usual suspects:

- Which end will they do the colonoscopy
- Will they find his head?
- How will they get Roger Ailes and the rest of the Fox News Channel out of the way?
- Mr. Bush will get to experience a little bit of what he has subjected us all to.
- The procedure may keep the President from speaking for a couple of days.

All very good, but I wonder if Ol' Darth will keep Bush under sedation and tell us that he needs to for national security reason. Darth will inform us that,

"if we allow the doctors to cut and run before the Bush's colon is ready to stand on it's own, it will be disastrous. We need to hear from the Doctors in charge of this colonoscopy surge and review their report. That may be September or October or whenever. When that report is complete it will hopefully show that Mr. Bush's ass has met those Gastrointestinal benchmarks. America has to continue the spread democracy across his colon and intestines, which have always been a cauldron of anger (especially after the President knocks back some chili dogs). The Socialized Medicine Surrenderist will want to just walk away. Even a phased redeployment will not work. It will only allow the Islamopolyps a safe haven in which to launch further attacks and that he has it on good intelligence that these polyps were seen in Prague talking to Iraq Intelligence."

(Please send your virtual tomatoes and lettuce to my comments, thanks)

I really should not be worried about Darth, I mean what could he do in two hours. . . oh wait just thought about it and I am really worried. That bastard could could get into a whole mess of trouble.

Baltimore mayor replaces police chief.

They probably passed over Daniels again, bastards.

you have the oven set to evil.

Those were oven's that if the secret ingredient is love, then it's a love that requires a restraining order.

Hey parents just play it safe and get your kids something they will love.

Log - from Blammo

What rolls down stairs
Alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog.

What's great for a snack
And fits on your back
It's log, log, log!

It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's lo-og, lo-og,
It's better than bad, it's good.

Everyone wants a log,
You're gonna love it, log
Come on and get your log,
Everyone needs a log...

I heard two people on a news show debating a serious topic without yelling at each other. I have heard about this before but I thought it was a myth. I have heard the locals say that NPR has this sort of thing. Hmmmmm, interesting.

Oh that wacky BBC, what will they think of next.

and very little work. About 40% of my work today was turning on the computer.

That is how today has been.

I feel quite Haliburtonish today.

brought his dim witted robot wife (I thought robots were supposed to be smart, but David is not the sharpest tool himself so it makes sense)





and he helping a pyramid scheme




What is Becks going to be rolling around in his Bentley with a "Ask Me About Herbalife" bumper sticker?


I think not.


Seriously, did Herbalife beat out Amway for this spot? Also where does Herbalife have that kind of scratch? I thought they needed that cash to stay ahead of the Feds? And fighting lawsuits ain't cheap kids.


I wish David well and I hope this helps American soccer, even though I still can't get into it. I am sticking with the EPL till further notice. The man is not the best footballer to walk on the pitch but he is amazing at what he does and he seems to be marketing gold.


Even though I am soccer novice, I do know that from what I have seen of Becks in the past it is special. I know this man is fantastic delivering the ball to others. I mean some of the long balls he strike are amazing. He is hitting guys 40 yards up field, in stride, right at their feet. He is one of the best at delivering the ball from a set piece. Penalties, Corners Free kicks, he lethal. The guy has been really trying to show he's a 90 minute player. He made a nice little run with Real Madrid this past season, but he not a complete player. So for those expecting something just remember he's no Pele. The biggest problem is not Beckham is will the Galaxy actually have people who can finish. If they don't then it will be a huge waste.


I just hope this does not become George Best II Electric Bugaloo. But every time I see him I will have to spit on the ground in anger. Because all that money could have been better sent on the Kings. Instead I have a team that maybe years away from the playoff while the Anaheim F%$#'s win the Cup. And no I am not getting over this anytime soon, so get used to me beating this into the ground.

That someone was Bush. In fact he gave us all the finger again yesterday at his press conference.

That America was a big FU to everyone, well accept that 20% that still are delusionaly behind this jackass piloting this country.

I wish he would just come out and say, "hey, I going to do whatever the hell I want since I do not care about any of you or the law of the land". I would be pissed but I would actually respect him for being honest for once.

All I can do is go on another profanity laced tirade, probably because I am suffering from war fatigue and I should get behind the surge since the insurgency is in it's last throws, so I will let someone with more skill go over the B.S. that was just pouring out of that soup cooler of his. (Thanks Crooks and Liars, please go over and enjoy the site, but read at your own risk since you will want punch or smash things afterwards).

I am sorry Mr. Bush has gone from an mind numbingly inept to down right dangerous. Nothing is more dangerous than someone who has nothing to lose and has no care for the consequences.

Post Script - Since it looks like things are going poorly it looks like the White House and Neocons are pulling out the same old tactics again. Either by using scare tactics or release bad news on Friday to make us take focus off the White Houses nonsense.

This time it looks like those guys and that organization that attacked us back in 2001 are back to pre-9/11 levels. How could this be since we removed Saddam and we so close finding Osama? I have no clue why. It could not be because i al-Qaeda has set up a great Club Med resort along the Pakistan/Afghanistan boarder. Well I should just blame the Clinton's, Pro-Choice supporters and the gays. They have all held us back. The whole item about Rummy calling off an attack in 2004 along the Pakistan boarder must be false. Hilary must be behind it since al-Qaeda where partners in the Whitewater affair.

So we find out about the new and improved al-Qaeda, just right after hearing they could be planning an attack this summer. An attack that was brought to our attention thanks to the bile duct of a bile Bush cronie. Hey FU Chertoff and your gut you hunch driven clown (Thanks C & L and Keith Olbermann)!

Don't even get me started on health care. I need to go see Sicko, I am curious to see what Micheal has to say.

Okay, the anger is out of my system for now.


The Iraqi government has not meet many of its goals and

Right now what he is doing to this country is tanamount to this. It the money after and he is not going to respect us, or call us back. He has also taken money our of our wallets, made a sandwich (which he did not clean up after) and then pissed all over the sink.

I am trying to come back down from the emotional roller coaster that was the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest. What an epic display by those gastrointestinal gladiators. It is a moment of such historical proportions that years down the road we all remember with crystal clarity where we all where.



I was sitting in air conditioned blissed at the Caliente Tropics Palm Springs Resort.





Had a good time just lounging at the pool and vegging in the room over the 4th and 5th.

Like the Thrilla in Manila or the Brawl in Montreal, this Choleric Clash at Coney is the stuff of dreams, or nightmares. So Mr. Chestnut joins a 1,500 pound bear in a very exclusive club, but not a Club Sandwich, since it would be eaten. They are the only two beings to beat Kobayashi in open competition.


Sadly I was pulling for Kobayashi, yes I am an awful American, must be because I do not support Bush. Hey I thought this could be his last time and I wanted to see him go out like Jordan part II. Pushing off Chestnut like he was Bryon Russell and sinking that last dog. But I am happy to see that mustard belt back in the good ol' US of A and that Jimmy did it against the best. I however was not happy to see that reversal of fortune at the end of the contest. EEEEWWWWWWWWW!


But again it was a pleasant holiday trip. That evening we watched a nice little fireworks display. We were smart and instead of spending hours in the heat and amongst the masses. We drove and found a parking lot where a couple of other people had gathered to watch the show. So we got to view it from the comfort our car. We kicked back and cranked up the Classic Rock and enjoyed. Just as the Simpson's showed us that every Airshow has to play "Rock You Like A Hurricane" you must watch firework accompanied by Classic Rock. It does not matter if you like the genre or not, it is law. That's is not only because it's probably in most city, state and federal statutes, but it is also may an empirical law.


Since coming back I have just been plugging along at work. As you can all tell that it has been busy since I have not blogged. Even though it is Friday and I am burnt out I have to make at least a half hearted attempt at working.

I am wrapping up work and I am off for the cool environs of Palm Springs. Yep, 115 tomorrow. But the Better Half and I are going to get away from the asshats who are laughing ordnance that could be used in Iraq. We are going to do some lounging, some reading and some swimming with the Old People.

Hey speaking of the 4th, what is it with White Trash, Fireworks and alcohol? It like the holy trinity. Throw in a NASCAR race and forget it. Look I love seeing things go boom, but if I want to see a big boom, I will go watch the pros do it. I not up to watching cousin Jethro all lubed up on Natty Lights and Smirnoff Ice gluing M-80's, he got illegally from Mexico, to a tree. Hey I will wait till the next day and watch them blow each other up on YouTube. Hell, I personally would be okay if this year at least in California we passed on the fireworks. Considering how dry it has been I not up for tempting fate. The up coming fire season because it is going to be a big bitch. I think it will be one that's going to make what happened in San Diego county a couple months back look like a campfire. But the it is the 4th and if you want fireworks, go watch them.

Knowing is half the battle. . . .

So go forth and be merry, Throw that meat on to the grill, relax and please remember what it means to be free and American. Also think about how after this holiday we all need to work to help keep this country that way by telling the asshats we are not going to put up with BS. That the government no matter if there is a R, a D, or what ever the F Joe Lieberman is going with. Dude you are batshit crazy and we don't need you telling us we have to go after Iran. (Crooks and Liars) I know this sounds naive, but until the Constitution is officially thrown out they work for the people and it is their sworn duty to serve and protects it's citizens.

Even though there are days it is tough, I am and will always be proud to be American. That I will be disgusted with my countries action only because it can and should do better. We don't have to rule to the world, but we should play a better part in it to make it better for everyone.

Okay I am now done, go you rascals go and enjoy your holiday.

I am still steamed about yesterdays actions which if you go on the politico sites will make you ponder finding a rifle and a tower.

It was bad enough that Time Warner called and said they felt bad.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

this is something I have wanted to do for the longest time.



I would love to take batting practice on Fremont Street in Las Vegas. Set up home plate on the Corner of S. Casino Center Drive and Fremont right at Binions. For some reason I have a the great desire to hit baseballs and watch them hit off





Found on Flickr from this guys collection


Maybe it some deep seeded resentment of how the Irish are characterized, maybe it's some self hate. Who really knows. I just know that I have always wanted to hit baseballs there and watch them bounce off the hotel and the overhang, if I could even hit that far.


I could never hit for power. Hell I do not think I have ever really pulled a ball, baseball or softball. Everything is up the middle and to the right side. I blame Charlie Lau and Walt Hriniak for that.


I know, I know I should be committed.

Yesterday was the birthday of one of the greatest NFL QB's of all time.





John Albert Elway. ALL HAIL #7!


Also yesterday Frank Thomas clobbered his 500th Home Run.(MLB.com) It is sad he did not do it as a White Sox, but I am happy for him. Yes I have come down from my contempt for him after the 2005.

During the 90's it was all about these two.

I watched John Elway start the decade willing his team to a Super Bowl and coming within a Deep Thigh Bruise and a Steve Sewell fumble from another Super Bowl bid. Then go through some lean years only to see him end on top with back to back Super Bowl titles.

I also remember watching a young Frank Thomas fresh from AAA, go 1 for 4 with a walk in a White Sox 9 - 5 win at the Big A (9-1-90).




As the scrappy Sox moved within 5.5 of the A's. The same day Bobby Thigpen tied the MLB record for saves in a season (46) on his way to setting the current record of 57. Not that I remember any of that.

I watched this giant of a man who had a Ted Williams command of the strike zone develop in a terror weapon who helped put the White Sox back on the map. I watched him win two MVP's (should have had a third in 2000). Let us not forget he was putting up huge numbers in 1994 before the strike came.

I also watched Frank languish as the Sox floundered in the late 90's. Also watched him suffer through injuries and be an a-hole at times. Which I had to get a little bit of a chuckle see Frank get ejected in the 9th for arguing balls and strikes. I was happy to see Frank get a ring with the Sox, even seeing him limp through the season, it was just right to see him be apart of White Sox winning a title. Look I think Harold Baines is Mr. White Sox, but it is a title that fits Frank better.

So congrats Frank.

So you have heard me whiny not so poetic of my youth thank you for listening.

Why do people gotta to hate.

NFL Europa is no more.

Me and the 3 other sick bastards who cared about this are going to cry about this.

So don't come crying to me when one day you all wake up and realize that it's all gone. No more Rhine Fire, no more Berlin Thunder.

Time Warner it's on you. If I had the NFL Network, maybe I could have saved us all, you cheese eating bastards.

California has worst U.S. traffic: study.

When did this happen?

So you are you telling me that it's not supposed to take hours to drive from the Orange County to L.A.? Or nearly a day to drive to San Diego on a weekend?

Color me shocked. I had no inkling that the highways were overcrowded. No one ever told me.

Well I know here in Southern California we have a great public transit system that can help . . . oh wait that was scarped back in the 40's to build freeways. . .

Oh irony.

Impeachment Pie!

What a failed war that we were lied to about

Waste of billions on it

The casual nature the administration took with the destruction of a major U.S. city and no Mr. Bush just because a cities team goes to the NFC Championship Game does not mean everything is peachy.

The continued crapping upon of the Constitution. I can hear Nixon right now from the grave calling bullshit. (Yahoo News)

Speaking of overstepping the Constitution, I will have to hand it Cheney. Maybe he is just so awesome that he his own branch of government, but then since it is possible that since the Bush was not elected in 2000 and possibly 2004 that because of that it means they can work outside of the law of the land since it does not apply to them. It is amazing that I never knew about this new branch. I checked my pocket Constitution and it's not showing 4th branch of government. Maybe my copy is not been up dated yet, that or my version is a part of vast plot planned by our Founding Fathers to weigh down government with Check and Balances.

Maybe I should will go over and check Conserveapeida for some "truth".

Okay, I just checked, and I found the info and their are four branches.

1. Executive Branch - (Or the Decider Branch) It's role is to execute the Constitution. (I know I have used it before but it works)

2. Lobbislative Branch - In Abramoff We Trust!

3. Injustice Branch - I actually had a a great e-mail about what goes on in this branch, but it was deleted and you can't make me retrieve it.

4. The Dark Sith Branch - Naturally the one that Sith Lord Cheney would be in charge of.

So again I ask that someone get the Impeachment train rolling, because what more has to be done, or proven to show that this government is running far outside the law. If we can't get this rolling can we at least cut off Cheney's allowance for this outside the Executive Branch B.S.

Sorry I was watching way too much of the James Bond Marathon this weekend.

Oh my aching Thunderballs.

Roger Moore you were not awful, but you were a better Simon Templar than James Bond.

Lazenby you just did not have enough mad game, but who am I to say. I actually thought Timothy Dalton was not bad. Look Dalton was going to have a tough time being Bond. Look after you played Prince Barin from Flash Gordon the only way to go is down. He made the best of a tough situation.

Now Flash Gordon is one of the best "bad" films ever.

SUMMER SOLSTICE!

Campaign 2008 Coverage

or that we have Bush till January 20, 2009.

What am I thinking Bush in a landslide.

Ran across these items on a this great site. I spend time here and it gets me nice and mad.

So it seems that Bill O'Riley has been on his pogo stick about how some news outlets are reporting the news that they are out to harm America, and that he and Fox News are about serious reporting. But Keith Olbermann gives us a slice of the serious reporting BillO delivers.
Bill are you sure you got a Peabody Award, I think you may need to check it and make sure it does not say Magoo Award. (Thanks Crooks and Liar)

So let me see, Stem Cells are evil, and staying in Iraq is good. (Thanks again to Crooks and Liar)

Also ran across this one, which pisses me off to no end. So we can have billions either be wasted or just go missing in Iraq, but a program that promotes community service is seen as waste at $25 million. I really should not be shocked, but I am still pissed about it. (Thanks to Crooks and Liars for getting me to this site)

When you are finished please use the hand sanitizer.

Jimmy Kimmel has Emergency Appendectomy



Yes I am blaming you Leno, you big chinned, soulless bastard!



You are up to shit you assclam.



You are so not going to step down when your contact is up. You are going to screw over Conan like you screwed Letterman. Even though I am Kimmel guy I can't hate Conan, the man wrote for the Simpson's. Even if he was to go head-to-head with Jimmy I would hold no ill will. Which reminds me. Hey ABC, it is time to end Nightline and move Jimmy up.

So Jay why don't go get your nuts caught in a fan belt of one of the many cars you own.

I don't.

So here is more of the Adorable Stalker for you.

Those bastards from What If Sports have me hooked on the crack they peddle.

Sure I have dabbled with their game simulator. Hey, I have always wanted to see an epic battle between the 1978 Brewers and the 1937 Pirates. So till I get a time machine, can you tell me a better way?

I thought so.

So I got sucked into a baseball league. Sure they said it was free, but they always say that the first taste free.

I have assembled a team of White Sox greats and not so greats, to play in this simulated league. Think of a geekier version of fantasy baseball. It simulates 3 games a day, against other disturbed individuals like myself.

I am so hooked. When I come in to work, it is the first thing I check. When I get back from lunch. I check. When I am walking out the door I check. I tinker with the roster kicking myself for taking Scott Radinsky circa 1992. Should have sucked it up and got the 1991 model.

I am blaming the 2007 White Sox and their putridity this season for all of this. They have been playing god-awful it hurts to watch. I do not want to totally ditch baseball yet, but since the Sox are floating near the to top of the tank and only about 45% of the football preview mags have been released, I need something to hold me till football.

So in short I need professional help.

Trying to get the ink well going again: We do have ideas in the hopper:

The passing of David Halberstan

The Ducks winning the Cup and bringing much shame as a Kings fan.

Seeing a Cool Maynard Dixon exhibit up in Pasadena

How much the White Sox have sucked ass this season.

The color green

Noble Gases (Not sure if I want to go with the Periodic Chart or just monarchs breaking wind.)

My continued praying for AT&T's U-verse, or Verizon's version comes to Costa Mesa, so I can drive to or through my local Time Warner Office and give them their box back. It may be on fire at the time of return but it will be returned.)

The impact of Francois Mitterrand on French Discos in early 80's


So please stay tuned.

It looks like there is a problem with the new Atlanta Aquarium.

I think the first thing they need to do in not fill the tanks with Coke.

The wife and I were going to take a walk this morning before work. As we were going, noticed that the driver side door of the Boskimoblie was was ajar. Great, I must of been a dumb ass and not closed it properly. I get into the car and check the battery. Good news the car turned over, but wait a second. Why is the glove box open along with the center console? Looks like hobos were a foot last night and got into the car. I must have been an idiot and not locked the car. But thankfully nothing was taken. CD were not touched or my Sirius unit. But still sucks to have someone invade your space. I dodged a bullet, unlike a neighbor a couple house down, they had a wallet taken from their vehicle, that according to the police.

just watch Hell's Kitchen. This season has been the bestestest Season, and we have had only two seasons!

One word sums it up

Aaron




This dude has been gold.





Hey I feel bad for the guy and I should be going to hell for laughing as hard as I do at the crying and passing out. But if it is wrong then I want no part of right. Look he bought his plane ticket, he knew what he was getting into. I say let him crash.

to some really boring basketball. And I thought San Antonio vs. Detroit would have been a snoozer.

The series so far has amount to a pile of crap that mankind has not constructed a shoe big enough to step into it, yet.

Note to you LeBron:

I am glad you have made it to the Finals, but other than the Second Half (nice elbow to Ginobli mug) in Game 2, you and the 11 other guys you are carrying look hopeless. Also another tip, it is not wise to spot team 30 points. Just saying.

The Spurs are not exactly lighting it up themselves, but it look like all they have to do is just have to put the screws the LeBron and it is game over. Thanks to this car wreck, we get Stu Scott and everyone else at ESPN trying to put lipstick on this pig. Even though I have the game on mute, Stu's voice still comes through and haunts me.

Last night I wanted to "Phil Leotardo" Mr. Chase for the ending of the Sopranos.

WTF!

Where is our Wild Bunch gun fight?

Or a Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid ending?

Hell, I could have handle Tony wakes up in his room. He hears the shower. He gets up and goes to the shower door. The shower door opens up and there is Patrick Duffy to find out the last seven years had been a dream.

I have come down a bit from last night when I was ready to storm my local Time Warner Office and burn it to the ground (which does not take much with those a-holes). But after a nights sleep, I kind of get what Mr. Chase was going with by making us draw our own conclusion about what will become of Tony. We are all trying to figure out what happens next: is he coming to get popped, busted by the Feds, or forced to go to a timeshare presentation (wait that may be too gruesome)? Look it worked, we are all here yelling about it. Except I was pushing for getting popped, only for choosing that Journey song. That song is the only thing I hated about the 2005 White Sox title, but you don't need to hear that rant again.

I think we should have something more to end the series on. I personally think it should have ended with:

Tony takes care of Phil
Gets NY in line
Keeps Janice from Uncle June's cash
Clips Carlo before he could be flipped
Avoids the indictments

In short, Tony gets peace in his Kingdom.

The final scene we have a long shot of the Sopranos backyard. The camera pans in. We see Tony raking leaves. All is calm and Tony hears ducks in the distance. Two Mallards land. The ducks root around on the grass looking for food. The ducks look happy. This warms Tony's heart, since we know his fondness of animals. He watches them and feel a sense calm he hasn't had in years. He looks at the house sees Carmella. He smiles and begins to walk back to the house and. . .

BANG!

The ducks plug him, take the money from the Feeder and take over the Jersey operation!

They could have it this all for a song, but do they ask?

I feel a little better about the world today.


HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Looks like Judge Sauer was not going to have any of these reindeer games. So they dragged her ass back to court and Judge Sauer proclaimed , "NO MORE MTV! NO MORE TWISTED SISTER (I will send you a shinny nickle if you know where that is from)! ". Well at least till she is done with her time (Thanks to TMZ).


Again I not always for laughing at other misfortunes, but this just feels so right with her.
I just now hope that the Dems will get a hint and take to Scrub and take him and his cronies to task for their crimes which dwarf this hot mess. I know a long shot, but a man can dream.

Seriously I do not think I can find a broom stick big enough for this shenanigans.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is so beyond BS. I am now truly ashamed to be a Californian. Considering what else is going on in the world I should not care, but my hate for her and her faux celeb cronies just sticks in my craw.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I forgot two other great shows from HBO.

Oz - I would to thank this show, along with my family, and social norms for reminding me that prison kind of sucks and I really don't need to find out about the scene.

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Oh Larry! Mr. David you are the most endearing assholes of our generation. Keep it up.

Carry on.

After what seems like 15 years the Sopranos ends. I will miss it. The show has been an excellent, even though it's had it moments of anger (for being off for so long) and ???? (did we need a Tony in the desert hopped up on nativie American goof balls?). But I hope HBO can keep rolling out the great programing and not allow shows to drift away (seriously Deadwood should have had another season)

But here is a quick list of my favorite HBO series from over the years

1. The Wire - If you do not agree I will have Omar come by and have a word.

2. Deadwood - Brilliant. Swearengen is my homeboy.

3. Sopranos - Should be higher, but too many delays and too many tangents they went off on. I just wonder what would have happened if the actress who played Tony's mom had lived. What direction would the story arch taken.

4. Entourage - Flat out funny, sure the "Hug it Out" maybe as overused as "Vote for Pedro", it still works and the show still is magnificent and from what I can tell from articles that it is based in a good deal of accuracy, well as much as we can get from Hollywood without threat of a court order.

5. The Chris Rock Show - I am glad for the success of Everyone Hates Chris, but I miss this show. Had some interesting guest, good musical acts and some great skits

6. Big Love - Moving up the charts, still trying to get over the fact that Chet has three wives.

7. Dennis Miller Live - I am really sad Dennis is dead and been replaced by a soulless chunk of carbon.

8. Not Necessarily the News - A forgotten classic

9. First and Ten - Bubba and Jethro you have not been forgotten.

10. Arli$$ - Yes, I enjoyed it. Hey I think Bob Whul is funny.

Not on the list

Lucky Louie - He was good as a writer for the Chris Rock Show, and is not bad as a stand up, but this show was awful

Carnivale - Never saw it, heard it was good.

The Mind of the Married Man - Awful, also it is not a good omen that the day you are going to flog your show on Good Morning America happens to be 9/11/2001.

Real Time with Bill Maher - A great show and I should watch this more, but he personally is such a pompous ass it is tough for me to even try watching him.

You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

and you do not touch Baron Von Beatitudes ride. Look buddy, you mess with the Pope you are going to get some Papal Bull Horns to the ass.

You have another winner on your hands this year. As I have said I am not the biggest reality show fan, but since there are so many on you can't avoid it. But this season of Hell's Kitchen after one episode has been awesomely awesome.

Just go here and click on Aaron breaking down in front of Chef Ramsey.

I know I am going to hell for laughing at this guy, but watch it and tell me you do not get a chuckle from it.

Sorry folks I will watch Gordan Ramsey all day and night. Sure his teaching may boarder on the Great Santini. but the man wants people to do there best. He cares about them learning, but since his name is on the show he takes it a little seriously. What you see is not an act. The man can be an angry bastard in the kitchen. He will not give ,or take quarter.

I would be too scared to work for him, but I respect the hell out of the man, even though he played for Rangers.

has brought on a spasm of blogging fury.

Will try to keep it up.

True.

Okay I did not dome her or hit her with my blazing batting practice fastball, which could get me work in the White Sox bullpen right now.

The Better Half and I were at an event for Project ALS. The Better Half got us in and it was a cool event for a good cause. It was on the lot at Paramount. So if you watch Everyone Hates Chris or if you watch an old episode of Fame, it was out front of that is where I accidentaly hit her. Look they had a stick ball game going and I was throwing the ball back in and she got in the way. It glanced off her and I was not asked to leave, so no biggie, but I can say I did hit her with a stick ball. Now if it was Richard Bey. I would have gone head hunting.

It was a good time, saw the studio, saw some stars and had a pleasant afternoon.

That dork would be me.

Hey here is me rubbing elbows with Karl Dorrell




and Ben Holland





Friends of the Better Half got us in and it was fun. I enjoyed it since I have a stalker-like infatuation with UCLA a school I never attended. I was not the sharpest tool in the shed and surprising a institution like UCLA is tough to get into especially when you know only 23 of the 26 letters of the alphabet. I would have been happy to just attend the university even though I do not know how UCLA, and nearly every D-I school missed out on my 5.4 40 speed and inability to even do 225 on the bench. They obviously never saw my highlight slide.

I am telling you that if coach had put me in we would have won state, No doubt in my mind . . . oh sorry I went Uncle Rico there. But I would have been so thrilled just to go and study history there.


Which leads me to a bit of sad news. One of my co-favorite professor I never took a class from passed away Dr. Eugne Weber, the other being my Better Half's Mom). Any time the The Western Tradition is on, I will watch it, even above some sporting events.



Yes, I said that.



But I am still happy that I went Cal State Fullerton, well that was up until The Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School visited. Right now I am telling people I just went to Fullerton Junior College.

Blog Pandemic?

Many it seems to be falling by the wayside, and this one has been feeling under the weather for a while. Some have just up and left and some have gone to greener pastures, but Blogflu this year has been quite potent.

I am going to try to stay on my blogging antibiotics and try to find things to write about for myself, and hopefully entertain you fine people. But looking at past entries I think some would have hoped I would have been struck down by this sooner.

Please use the virtual hand sanitizer before you leave.

Thanks,

Management

Stop with the Deadliest Catch.

I need to get my life back.

Your show has snared the Better Half and I in your Lobster Pot of captivating TV.

The past week and half we have been watching this show at all hours. Yesterday I spent hours watching stuff I watched before.

The worst part of all of this is not just the lost time, but I did not take Captain Andy in my Opilio Crab Fantasy League.

I am not one to enjoy another misfortune, but I may be a little too happy that Paris Hilton is now serving time. Wait who I am kidding, I am happy.

I am only miffed about two things about this whole mess. First, she is only going to serve a couple of weeks of time. Secondly, I just could not get to Lynwood to watch here get marched in. Rats!

Now if they can just round of the Crime wave that is Lohan I will fell safer on the roads.

I am trying to keep up my "don't call it a" comeback, but I have been swamped. Working hard to loaf off and blog.

Signed,

Management

The White Sox handed the Yankees another loss. YEAH!

A nice homestand, they took two out of three from the Constitutional Monarchs (Royals) and now 2 of three from the very expensive dog with expensive fleas (Louis Vuitton fleas to be exact).

Hey George, do you still have a receipt for that mess?

(Boski types knowing that he will provoke the baseball gods in lifting the totally ungrateful Yankees to yet another postseason, all the while the White Sox implode)

I will say, that somehow by the grace of the man or woman upstairs, and some great pitching, the Sox have drug themselves above .500. Last year the Sox bludgeoned their way through 3/4 of the season to have it go up in flames. Now if they can just get some find the medium they found in 2005, this team may have just a chance at the postseason. Now they must travel to Wrigley to battle all that is evil, the Cubs. Which leads me to my annual " the White Sox must beat the Cubs or civilization as we know it will end" tirades,. I know it is a bit much, but don't be scratching your head when there is a plague of locus upon the land.

I loathe the Cubs, sure I am not from Chicago and I really should not care, but I hate the Cubs. They are pompous, arrogant blowhards. Sure Wrigley has history and it is quaint but I am tired of being told how great the stadium and those fans are. I refuse to accept it. Look binge drinking and lazy grounds keeping does not equal great baseball. It is what is done inside the lines that matters.

This year, if the Sox can beat on the Cubs it will please me even more, since it will piss off the "genius" that is Lou Pinella.

I make my return, no it is not like Michael Jordan's return from baseball. Maybe more like NBA Wizards Coach Eddie Jordan or R&B Artist Montell Jordan returning from lunch.

Sorry I have kind of dropped out of site and I do appreciate that people actually come by this literary hot mess. I am greatly honored I have been very busy with work. I know I am shocked myself. I am also dealing with that Mid-Blog-Crisis. You know that age old blogger issues.

What I am I writing about?

What do I want to write about?

Was that really chicken?


I also wanted to dispose the fake rumors that have been swirling in the blogesphere:

I am not doing a bid in the Big House for attacking Time Warner Cable or the Evil MIL from the Bay Area. Even though I think I could win a court against those evil entities.

I have not built a time machine with the purpose to hunt down and beat the living snot out of the kid from Voyager's!, but I am still looking into it.

I did not OD from freebasing New Coke.

That I got lost in Mel Kiper's Hair while doing research for the NFL Draft

I did not lose a pistol duel with Billy Squire, but I did lose in a savage slap fit with Artie Johnson. Now I walk with a limp

I am not in Germany following NFL Europa, but that may happen one day.

I have not decided to blog with the same frequency as the White Sox hitters.

And I have not, repeat I have not been working on trying to get "Mr. Belvedere The Musical" off the ground. But I may have been spotted in Oslo working on Condorman II Electric Bugaloo.


Lastly, I am dealing with some personal issues. Issues that have been weighing on me for a while. Hey I know I am not special when it comes to dealing with the movie theater floor aspect of life. I know my problems and issues are insignificant in the big picture, but this all still has made things not so happy, happy, joy, joy. The last month and a half my feelings have been running from: anger, despair, disappointment, withdrawal, shame, bewilderment, dry mouth, and had me actually thinking about becoming a Anaheim Ducks fan. I wish I was feeling like this only because I had made the mistake of watching Fox News, or standing too close to Glen Beck, sadly that is not the case.

So to all of you, the wonderful bloggers out there who have stopped by, I thank you. To those who ended up here by mistake, I will validate your parking. Also thank for your patience with putting up with this mess. I do hope to get back producing substandard entries you have all grown to love (or loathe if your a fan of Strunk & White), and stalking your wonderful blogs.

Does any of this make any freaking sense??????

And that it was Sammy "Watch me forget how to speak English when I am asked about steroids" Sosa who broke it up, but it was rewarding to see Sammy getting picked off for having a brain fade.

Suck it Sammy!

So let us give Mark Buehrle a nice hand for the No-No he tossed last night.

Let us hope that this kick the White Sox in ass, and gets them going on doing what must be done. And that is to overtake the Politically Incorrect's, Twinkees and the Pitty Kittys.

Trying to bring you something witty and brilliant. Instead of Chocolate Milk it watered down Youhoo.

Work has kept things busy and folk I have tried to think of a cool hip way to fit Physician Re-appointments and Quality Risk Events into a blog entry and it does not work. Kind like peanut butter and typhoid. It does not work. Sure it sounds good when you sing,

"Peanut, peanut butter and . . . . . typhoid!

I was doing that for about an hour last night.

From Typhus it went to "peanut, peanut butter and ....:

knife fights

Map Quest

John Wesley Harding

Patagonia

Neil Sedaka

War of 1812

jellies

Pirmin Zurbriggen


Then I stopped. I felt the joke had run it's course and I got distracted by some tin foil.

Louis XII

Results of the World Series of Wiffle Ball - Des Moines Chamber of Commerce vs. The cast of Fame.

St. Louis Browns

Fate of Discotheques on Easter Island

Cheeses' of Bolivia

Talking Pie and the Battle of Waterloo - Was Wellington was helped by a time traveling Peach Pie?

Insurance Seminars

Congressional Ocelots

Freddie Laker

Namibian National Championship Squash results from 1994

New Coke found on Mars

Elbows Across Delaware - the precursor to Hands Across America

T.J. Hooker

1927 Great Ferret Rush of Norway

Shemp!

Shrinky Dinks

Bowling Shoes

Thanks Wikipedia - As you can see how powerful young boys imagination and Wikipedia can be be in the war to waste time.

we are also spreading our wonderful brand of cronyism.

Great job Paul Wolfowitzless!

Sure other nations have their own unique brands of favoritism and corruption, but the Bush brand is just specialier (as our President would probably say). It provides many hour of countless laughs and outrage, along with a hint of cinnamon.

Just as a note I would like to say this administration's graft would make Boss Tweed blush.

Sorry I have just been dying to make some kind of reference to Tammany Hall.

that Imus is actually still on the radio. The man has 0.0 rating in a couple of major markets. Who the hell listens to him, Seriously, this dude needs to be arrested for stealing, as well.

Please CBS, fire Yosemite Sam, also let him know that he passed away to years ago.

What an Asshat! Could you be any dumber? Hell, the late Anna Nicole is stunned on how freaking stupid you are, you old coot. You have never been funny or interesting you racist bastard. This is not your first rodeo when it comes to making remarks like this.

As he goes on his apology tour, he keeps digging a deeper and deeper hole. So to that I applaud him for his bumbling effort. Part of this tour will be a meeting with the people he offended. I know that the classy individuals of Rutgers Women's Basketball will, in their meeting with Douche Imus, express their displeasure. It will be done passionately, yet civil. They will try to explain to the Iclod why it was hurtful and totally inappropriate. Which will probably go in one ear, rattle around and then out the other. Personally I wish that the parents or family friends could come in and beat the dude with a rake, but that is petty little me.


So Don Imus I say to you, "suck it!'

That is that last time I ever bet on Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Count Frederic Von Asshat.

I believed you. I could have made some cash, but no you are not Anna's Baby's Daddy, you are not even Baby Grandaddy, thanks for nothing Count Goodfornothing!

I hope Zsa Zsa get as slappy with you as she did with the cops.

Bush Almost Blows Himself Up.(Thanks to Crooks and Liars and The Detroit Free Press)


I first had to laugh reading the article. Mr. Bush, our Commander and Chief, who is not even qualified to be Hall Monitor, almost blew himself up on the White House lawn. But after some chuckles, I got very scared. I realized this man is constantly around something that could destroy the world. No I am not talking about Darth Cheney, even though Darth could lay this world to waste, but until he can make a profit from it he will keep that ability reigned in. What I am talking about is a briefcase, one that could destroy the world. The one that has the launch codes to the U.S. Nuclear arsenal. Speaking of Darth and even though I hate the SOB, I do sincerely hope Cheney keeps Scrub from carrying the "football". I could just see the President trading that briefcase for some Hot Wheels, if left unintended. Let just have Mr. Bush carry his Dora the Explorer Lunchbox around, so we can all be feel a little bit safer.

Well the work week is winding down and I am just killing time here at work.

Trying to get things wrapped up so I can flee early today so I can catch L.A. Avengers excitement.

Yes, I am going to watch Arena Football.

We won the tickets a couple weeks back when I correctly guessed the total of the BYU vs. Xavier 1st Round NCAA Tourny Game (and you all said gambling would lead to nothing). Would have liked the Laker tickets, but as they say "beggar can be choosers but there are a hell of a lot of forms to fill out."

So I will fighting the freeways to watch grown me do something I used to get yelled at. Didn't the Brady Bunch teach us about playing ball in the house. I love the Arena League is trying to sell itself and be fan friendly, I just would love for them to add one thing. In or around each end-zone I wish they would have a giant mock up of a lamp or picture frame. So that if either team hits any of the home items, then a siren goes off and the offenders are penalized 15 yards for roughing the breakables. To add to it, if a team gets three in a game and your team is grounded and it's an automatic forfeit and will get it from Dad when he gets home.

Just a thought Arena League. Chew on it, if you like it you know where to find me.

This will be my second foray into Arena Football. 11 years ago I watched an epic tilt between the Anaheim Piranhas and the Iowa Barnstormers. It was a game that did have playoff implications. I was there since the man who ran the Broadcasting Camp, had part ownership of the team. So in a way we where helping him bankroll this venture. A venture that ended the next season. But what I did not realize is that during the game that we all making fun of one player. A player we kept referencing to as former Seattle Seahawk great. Little did we know it would be future Super Bowl winner, NFL MVP, and selling his own soul to the devil for fame Quarterback Kurt Warner. Some of you thought I was going to say Dan Doornick. Psych!

I can tell by the yawns you are fascinated by that to no end.


As for the rest of the weekend,


Saturday - a little bit of this, a little bit of that.


Sunday - Brunch with my wife's Mom at Castle Boskistein, Then Easter egg/nap hunt with this guy:

Next up is Mass, then it is off to my Mom's for the Nephew's Million Dollar Egg Hunt - Sponsored by Cisco Information Systems. Depending on the the loot I may need to get in on it. Look, I am not afraid of moving aside an 8 year old, or 3 year old, to get a Lincoln or two. Hey they need to know about competition, and their Uncle Boski will be the one to teach them.

I am know I am a horrible person.

I hope everyone has a good weekend and blog at you Monday.

with the blog Bedazzler. So please mind the mess.

The White Sox win, White Sox win. They win on a dramatic walk off . . .

Hit Batter.

Is this a good omen? I am hoping it is, but knowing my luck that this is a good omen in Haiti.

Casino Owners beat White Sox 8-7.

Oh this one was as bad as Monday's ass whopping. The Sox could not stand prosperity as they could not hold the lead twice and when they had chances to comeback they shot themselves in the foot.

It appears that I missed another NCAA Championship game. I looks like I did not miss much last night. Florida beating up Ohio State and it's 45 year old Center. Come on when LeBron James thinks you are older than 18 then you are not telling the truth.

Missing the game seems to be pattern for me.

This year I was working till about 7:00 PM and got home after 8:00 PM.

Last year I was in Northern Ireland.

Year before that stuck at the office again.

So where am I going with this?

Let me tell you a story about a man trying to find work a couple years ago who stumbled into pyramid scheme.

It was the Spring of 2002 and I was looking for a job. I had been beating the pavement since December. The job market sucked a lot of ass. I was ran across an ad for marketing position. I had been very interested to get into marketing and media. I have always been fascinated with the work the Better Half did. So I ran across an ad for a entry position. I sent them my resume and I heard back from them. I was so geeked at the possibility of a full time job, I actually faked being sick at a temp assignment to go to the interview. A temp assignment that I got dumped from 2 days later. They thought I was too quiet for the position so I got the boot. Jerks!

The initial interview went well enough that they called me back. If I only known, I would have come into the interview drunk. Wait looking back on it if I did they would have hired me on the spot.

So Boski what's the deal then?

I am getting to that. About a week later I get a call telling me about coming down for a full day of unpaid "training". Being the sharp bulb I am, I bit. So on April Fool's Day 2002 I became the biggest fool by going on this interview. I get to a place in Anaheim, it actually a stones throw from the Big A. It is about 10:00 and I show up in my suit ready to learn and see if this is the career for me. I walk into the office and I notice a ton of people going in and out. I should have seen this during the interview but I did not care I was just in dire need of a j. o. b. At first I was okay with it being frantic, hey I worked at Disney I could handle this. I should have know from all those days playing Oregon Trail and that if you do not have a good oxen you are going to die on the Plains. Well by being on this interview I cheaped out on the oxen.

My trainer shows up and starts asking me some questions about marketing, and I am answering like a champ. We do not talk about what we are "marketing" and I should have asked. Big mistake. As we get into his car I have a sinking feeling and then


hits me with a trash can lid and steals my wallet.


Not really.

I wished that had happened, it would have been more productive and I would have felt less shame. That sinking feeling was probably the best that I felt about the whole ordeal.I was confused about what was going to be done. I held out some hope that it would not be something too embarrassing. Maybe part of this position is about going to merchants and so on and maybe the product we are marketing would be something I could handle like Angel tickets. That hope would soon be crushed like the media on Anna Nicoles funeral. We drive to another section of Anaheim where we meet another "rep" and we are going to canvass a neighborhood to see if people want to have an ADT sign on their lawns to advertise and if they wanted to they could purchase an ADT system. Great I am in a F%$#ing pyramid scheme selling! This crap is a step above the magazine kids you hear about on the news. Except I could do this only here in the O.C., and with a lot less drugs and crime. Oh wait, since I did such a great job walking around and answering a couple questions that I became a candidate for the management training program. Wow that was some great vetting done there. The trainer sat down with me and discussed that if I showed the gumption that in a couple of months I could be running a crew in exotic places like Fresneck or Stockton. Oh boy sleeping at a Red Roof Inn with 8 other dudes. Hell where do I sign?

I was told this at our lunch at the Carl's Jr. where I use to go and pound my head on the table when I had my most embarrassing job I may ever hold, selling kids clothes. Which I did as a senior in high school. Kids nothing boost your self esteem like being a bench-warmer on a team that would end up being the worst in school history (0-10) and selling kids clothes. Yes, the women do flock to that. I still find it a shock that along with the above mentioned along with my lack of looks, social graces (folks I was a couple of links away from the missing link), and the 79 Toyota Corolla (which was a fly ride) that I did not go to prom.

So now I have spent eight plus hours walking around knocking on doors and feeling like a grade A jackass. The day would have been seriously more productive if stayed home and watched that episode of Quincy. Hey when did the Q not give you a nugget of truth to live by. By the very end when we actually got a bite, instead of listening intently of what was being said, I had tuned it out. I was sitting in some one's home try to see what was on the TV. Now the guys I was with were not awful, I hated what they do for a profession, but hey god bless you if want to do this and you make a career. I just ask that you don't come to my house please, or you get the hose. But we did waste some of the time talking sports and I learned how to better dig a trench.

Now it is dark and I am tired from walking around for eight hours. We are heading the the Valley of Kings. On route my trainer went over the important item that I needed to know and that I was going to be quizzed on, during my interview. Huh ????

I needed to know about the "law of averages". That in one day a marketer should be able the canvass 100 homes, and you should get at least 3 or 3%, to be technical, to talk to you about purchasing a Home Security Package (which is probably as worthless as our current Homeland Security). It was stressed to me that I need to know this. If I didn't I would blow the interview, and a chance at this sweet gig. I also think the fate of the free world depended on it.

Now here is where it got weird. We get back to the office and when I walked in it looked like a cross between a dorm party and office holiday party. A lot of college age people standing around. They had a boom box blaring, I was waiting for the keg stands. This is really not the atmosphere to conduct an interview, but reality and this day had long ceased to communicate with one another. So I took a seat and began to fill out a questionnaire as I waited to be spoken too. I was scared, confused, and I felt clammy, even more so then when I hear anything sung by Fergie. As I sat there just wanting this to end, somebody walks up and sits down next to me and makes chit-chat. How's it going? Who are you? How was it out there? The usual conversation so I thought. After about a couple of minutes they get up and walk away. Then someone else comes over and is doing the same thing, but at this point I feel that they are not doing this to be polite more that this was the interview. Halfway through my second chit-char session I hear a group across the room from us run a ring a bell and cheer. What I do not know, it may have been "ask me about Herbalife". I would hear the room erupt into this cheer three more times before I left.

WTF is going on here? By this point I was so ashamed of myself for getting sucked into this and wasting a day. Then a third person came a long and did the same drill, but it was more about about the job. If this was a job interview then this was one honked up one. I was just waiting for someone to hand me a tracksuit and some Nike's.

After the third and thankfully final drive-by interview they took my questionnaire and I sat there. I sat there for about 20 minutes waiting to be interview and watching the machinations of this pyramid scheme, when my trainer came by and walked me out. He told me the job was mine and I just had to say yes. I was getting the hard sell. I told him, thank you but I need to talk with the wife about this since this is a big decision and I would call them the next day. Which I never did. I walked out into the pleasant April evening and I felt like Scott Wolf and Jay Mohr did in Go when William Fincher and Jane Krakowski tried to sell them Confederated Products. I felt so so dirty.

Thankfully the pyramid scheme never came after me, but I did have to go to everyone I listed as reference and tell them, if they were to call that they were to say I was dead.

So please learn from your Uncle Boski, if you or any one you know ever thinks about applying for a job that looks like this you are to run away, or punch the sense back into that person. So please learn and grow from my shame, it is my gift to you.

Worst Opening Day Ever!

Sox get donkey punched by the Casino Owners 12 - 5!

Holy crap Jose did a great impersonation of Jamie Navarro.

My kingdom for a rain delay.

Ozzie, please do not let anyone to get anything from the Snack Shack after this one.

Please make it stop.

Hello teens, sorry I have been away, it has been hectic at work and at home. Last weekend and until Midnight Tuesday Team Boski was prepping the house for a house guest and since we had a lot of stuff to move. But enough of that and lets talk some baseball.

Ah yes it is Opening Day and I am excited, not at the fevered pitch I use to be as young lad, when Opening Day was the one day the White Sox were not eliminated from playoff contention. This year it is more trepidation since the White Sox had a scintillating Spring Training where they went 10 - 22 - 1. Most of those beating where at the hands of D'Backs and Rockies. Since those and two and '27 Yanks are mirror images I really should not be worried.

Right now I am both angered and scared by many of the preseason projections. Sure there were a couple that have the Sox winning, but most say 4th, including Baseball Prospectus that has the Sox going 70 - 92. Which would be great news for the Broncos, since it will mean more time getting excited about them. The other scary thing is this team may have a good season and still finish 3rd, since the AL Central has four teams that can make a case for the title and I hate it.

This years Sox team has so many questions:

1. Have Buehrle and Contreras hit the wall? Mark has no velocity and Jose looked awful in the second half. I pray that they can forget 2006.

2. Is it Podsednik or Podsedsuck? Last year was a disaster, sure he drove in some runs, but that is not his job. His job is to be a pest, get on base and help manufacture run. They were 24-6 in games he swiped a bag, but too many nights you could find his name next CS. Also Scott, I love you but you D last year was so bad that Jose Canseco squirmed.

3. Speaking of D - Mr. Mackowiak you are going to get yourself killed out there either by the ball, Ozzie or a rabid Sox fan, so please, please use your glove for good. That goes for everyone else, please.

4. Building a bridge - Hopefully this team can get back to getting starters getting throw Complete games, but since that won't happen I will settle for getting to the 7th. Because what killed this team was the bullpen was awful. Too many guys pitching too many inning and pitching them terribly. Jenks had to do too many Inning plus appearances and he ran out of gas. So this year we will see if power arms Kenny has brought in will work. The key to me is the two lefties. If Sisco and Thornton can be effective that will be huge. Cotts could not never get out of Jury Duty. McDougal will be the Set-up man and Bobby will close it. Ozzie and Don, make this work since I do not want to see the Charlotte Shuffle this season.

5. Javy, just throw %$#*ing strikes, have confidence in your stuff and also you have people playing defense behind you so let me work for you. You got an extension and a live arm, so use it!

6. Manufacutre Runs - The Sox got too comfy with the big inning. Look this team beat the World Champs silly last season and it got us no where. This team O is still potentially potent, but we need to create runs when guys are not hitting. Which leads me to.

7. Get back to winning the close ones. The Sox won it all in 2005 because it played playoff baseball as soon as they broke camp. This goes back to pitching, defense and get runs when the hits are scare.

8. Toby we hardly knew ye - The Sox brought in someone to spell A.J. (Please hold your boos to the end) but that possibly ended with his shoulder popping out. So to start the season the Sox will have to roll with Gustavo Molina. No he is not a part of the Catching Molina's. So if everything works out Toby will be back by May. If not the dreaded call for the Zombie Sandy Alomar Jr. will be made and nobody wants that.

9. Ozzie - I love Ozzie, I don't love everything that comes out of his mouth, but he is what this organization needed when he was brought in. Ozzie please get this team to focus and back to playing that brand of ball we all know and love. It does not have to be pretty, just get the W's. Also Ozzie, let Brian Anderson play, the kid plays D and he will hit, have faith.

10. Darin Erstad is still alive? Look guys I love grinder ball, but Darin is busted up. I will be happy if he can be the new Ross Gload.

11. Is it wrong to hope that all the AL Central other than the Sox suffer from bad soup all year?

So the time has come for the questions to be answered. Oh wait as I type the Sox are already down to the Casino Owners. Great.

Well here is my lame-ass baseball predictions. If I had done this a couple weeks back it would have been better when I was prepping for my baseball draft, but I have been neck deep in NFL Draft stuff. Ask me who the Broncos should take I can answer that, but we are hear to talk baseball.

NL West

1. Dodgers - Love their pitching now if they can scrap enough runs together they win the division and maybe do some damage in October
2. Padres - Great pitching, but Wells and Maddux are not going to do it.
3. Rockies - I have been hearing the buzz and I think they are do to at least stay in the hunt till Sept.
4. D'Backs - Moving in the right direction, they are putting together some good young players.
5. Giants - Sorry Silly, but this team is too old. Love Bochy as manager, but they need to get Barry to 756 and then start building.

NL Central

1. Milwaukee - No I have not been drinking, I am just trying to be cool. If Shield can stay healthy they will make the post season for the first since Pete Ladd walked the earth.
2. "Gulp" - Chicago Cubs - I hope I am wrong. I would love nothing more than see the Cubs finish 0-162.
3. St. Louis - Showing that getting hot at the right time can go a long way. But I think they may not have enough arms.
4. Houston - Carlos Lee $100 Million. Really? I hope you kept your receipt
5. Cincinnati - I am curious to see if they can stay in the hunt with only two starter, no real closer and about 15 middle relief guys. Also Ken Griffy Jr. has been injured twice since I started this entry.
6. Pittsburgh - Arrrrrr it tough being a Pirate.

NL East

1. New York Mets - We will see what this team is made of after losing the NLCS. I think they will spring back
2. Philadelphia - Again will knock on the door, but will they get in?
3. Atlanta - They made some nice moves, but not enough to get by Philly or New York
4. Florida - great young talent, but they are down this far because I loath the MIL from the Bay Area is a fan.
5. Washington - Cue the Comic Store Guy - "Worst National League team ever!"

AL

East

1. Yankees - Will hit but can they get the pitching. They might be able to if Carl Pavano is monitored.
2. Red Sox - Loaded as well, but the key will be Schilling and not Dice-K. He has to hold up. They did make the right call moving Pappelbon to the pen.
3. Toronto - The Jays are a starter away, that and if Halladay can stay healthy. Could be a very dark horse.
4. Baltimore - Mr. Angelos please sell the team, hell sell it to Marlow. He knows how to run an operation. I would have suggested Stringer and Avon, but Stringer is dead and Avon is in lockup.
5. Devil Rays - Two words that could really help this team - Insurance Fire.

Central

1. Twinkee - Santana will pitch 140 games this year and I will spend a miserable summer as the Twins celebrate and annoy the crap out of me.
2. Pitty Kitty's - Screw the whole lot of you. May Gary be the biggest locker room cancer of all times.
3. The Casino Owners - Jacobs Park this. I hate you as well
Tie 4. The Constitutional Monarch & the White Sox - Right now the 70 - 92 that was predicted may be what we get. It is 9 - 2 already and it is not even the bottom of the third. So with that and probably an improved Royals. I see a basement in the future. Damn, damn, damn, damn it!

AL West

1 Anaheim - If they can find some hitting then they would be scary. Still they will win this division.
2. Oakland - They will miss Barry come September and October.
3. Texas - Until I see them get pitching past July 4th I will never believe in these guys.
4. Seattle - No not even the Dr's as Seattle's Grace Memorial Hospital can save this team.

Playoffs

NL

Phillies (Wild Card) over Brewers
Dodgers over Mets

Dodgers over Phillies

AL

Anaheim over Boston (Wild Card)
Minnesota over New York

Anaheim over Minnesota


World Series

Anaheim over Los Angeles

A Freeway Series or another World Series America will tune out since it will not have Yankee, Mets, Red Sox or Cubs in it. Also most of America will not care and since every game will end after 1 AM.


So please feel free to make fun of those picks, I know I will. Excuse me I have to get back to crying under my desk as the White Sox get Little Big Horned today.